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 Post subject: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Drinks Wild Tofurkey
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I was just thinking it would be good to have a general thread for feeling sad about the loss of an animal friend who you may not feel comfortable enough making an entire thread about. I didn't think we had one, and I need one at the moment, so I thought others might, too.

I posted some in the worst things thread, but here it is in more detail. I met with a potential client yesterday who was explaining her case and part of it was that her child killed the family dog. It was pretty graphic, and I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it. I have chosen not to take the case because of this issue. Last night I was sobbing and had nightmares about the poor thing. I am definitely grieving for this poor pup, but at the same time I feel like it isn't my place to mourn here, especially since it was a while ago and the family seems to have moved forward, at least some. I'm just so, so sad about it.

I hope this thread gives people a spot to put things out there for grieving over animals...

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:28 pm 
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Good idea. I still grieve Chloe (passed away about 6 months ago) and Phantom (passed away about 1.5 years ago). Like to the point where sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Not every day, and it gets a bit easier with time, but a couple of times a month I'll think about them and get really sad. When I try to talk about it it's to the point where people don't know what to say, because I've been talking about it for so long that I think they are thinking "geez, get over it already." They both left holes in my heart that I don't think will ever heal.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:36 pm 
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Yeah, I've cried over my kitties lost this summer today. Not an every day occurrence but an offer to adopt another kitty (which I declined for now) brought it all to the surface so I've been unhappy and been grieving them all day, and the kitty I had to turn away--grieiving him too like a lost possibility and what could have been. He sounded so cute! It's just the wrong time even on a practical level until I get home from my trip in December and there will be other kitties for me and for him, there will be another owner. But I'm sad anyway about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:52 pm 
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Oscar died last Monday. He'd been off-colour for about a month. He lost weight due to overgrown molars which were filed, but he didn't regain much of the weight. Then after he was taken out of quarantine he went to live with his brother for one week, developed a urinary infection and lost his appetite. We worked for three days and nights giving him food and water by syringe, but he seemed too far gone and lost 100g in his last day. We left him to rest in a pile of hay by a warm hot water bottle and he passed away at around 9pm. I collected his ashes from the crematorium today. We're going to find a nice vessel to keep them in that represents him in some way.

I feel like I missed something, that I could have done more for him. I feel like this for Vladimir too, who passed suddenly in September from suspected kidney failure.

I also still miss my little sow, Mucky, who was euthenized in 2007 because of cancer. She was only three and was my best friend throughout the hardest time in my life.


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:08 pm 
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Who's Ted Leo?
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Fizzgig - I could not deal with that. :(

I miss Mar so bad. I cry so much. He was my soul mate. I am trying to do things right now that remind me of him...I am getting a perfume that is inspired by his cinnamon-musky cat smell...Also sponsoring a cat who is going through renal failure.

I am opening up our altar for dia de los muertos - if you have a furr friend/loved one you want to include please send me a photo. If a photo is not an option let me know their name, I will add it to a prayer candle.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:20 am 
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I deal with a lot of loss with cat rescue. A lot of the animals at the shelter are sick when we get them. We lost four cats since July, two of them kittens. As hard as that is losing my own cats is worse. This past March I lost my oldest cat, Chuckles, who I had since he was ten weeks old. He was 15. He was with me through some really bad times. I had him when I was homeless and he slept curled up with me when we slept outside and always once we had a home again. He had a bone tumor on his skull that made him go blind and eventually stop eating at which point we decided it was time to euthanize him. I have a necklace that's a mini urn so I have some of his ashes with me always. When I miss him too much I hold onto it.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:01 am 
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Who's Ted Leo?
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Mar was with me when I was homeless to. :(

I know all the stages of grief...I have felt anger, confusion, wanting, hopeless all of them...I do not want people telling me how to feel.

This weekend we were planning to go over to the East Bay, I want to go, support my boyfriend film and get away. Everything here is raw feeling, everywhere I go I am dreading people asking me about Mar - I talked about him a lot...We do not want to tell our 'friends' because we feel they may judge us. I am so forking sad, my boyfriend is so forking sad...Each night we cry in bed together...I want to go to Oakland, try to keep some food down (everything I eat comes right out), hug my boyfriend, buy some altar/new age grief supplies and just chill...

My day way centered around Mar - so this house is a constant reminder of how empty I feel.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:49 am 
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I am sorry everyone is going through this...it sucks. For me, at least, it is helping hearing you all talk about it. I hope peace comes with time...

MMC, if you could add Diamond's name for the candle, that would bring some lightness back, I think. She's the dog from my above post, so I don't have a photo, but knowing she is being honored would help. Thank you.

I feel like I've known all the pets on here so well...love to everyone.

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Love is like a pineapple, sweet and undefinable ~ Piet Hein


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:49 pm 
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MMC is you could add Chloe's name to your candle I would really appreciate it. Big hugs to you.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:49 pm 
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blondiefk wrote:
I have a necklace that's a mini urn so I have some of his ashes with me always. When I miss him too much I hold onto it.


That is beautiful. I love that.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:34 am 
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I'm pretty thankful that my loss two years ago (or it might actually be three) is at the point now where for the most part, when I really get to thinking and talking about Apple, the tears are happy tears. About how amazing she was and how forking thankful I am to have been with her for four years. But I still do sometimes get a sad mood over me, and start my mind spinning about the situation of her death, and regret for so many things. And then fear for what I'm going to do when Ginny goes.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:05 am 
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I still cry over a cat my dad gave away when I was .. I don't know, 15? I don't cry as much as I used to, but I loved that cat and I cannot talk about him or see the few pictures I have of him without getting choked up. That's been 15 years ago now, and Nicolo is probably gone now (or very old) and I hope so hard he had a good life.

Argh, now I'm crying.

Big hugs to all of you others who have posted of your losses. Our furbabies are not just things, they are like children.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:21 pm 
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Like I said we lose a fair number of animals in rescue. I had to take one, a six month old kitten named Patch, to be euthanized today. She had FIP and it's so unfair that she had so short a time. I stayed with her to the end and managed to hold it together and not cry til I got home.

RIP Patch.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:59 pm 
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:( poor patch


just picked up mar's ashes & paw prints. i ordered his urn last night.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:17 pm 
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My parents got two kittens not long before I was born...they grew up with me...they were my best friends throughout my childhood. They were polar opposites, tortoishell cats, Flopsy was fat and lazy and Mopsy was skinny and never stopped moving about. I had huge health problems from 10 onwards and both of them seemed to know something was wrong...there were days I didn't get out of bed but I always had a kitty sitting at my toes watching over me. Flopsy died when we were 16, we knew it was coming for a while, she'd always had some health problems and had been going downhill for a while. But it was a big blow to lose her. Mopsy however still hung on. With Flopsy gone she clung to me and we were inseparable...she was a tiny little black and ginger kitty, as the years went on she got bonier and spent most her time sleeping...but she could never resist chasing bits of string, even when all she could do was half-heartedly bat at them. Every time I sat somewhere in the house she'd come running to sit next to me, she wasn't a lap cat but she'd squeeze as close next to me as possible. When she was twenty, one day...she just suddenly got ill. Her kidneys went...and that was it. 20 years...I know for a lot of people "oh it's just a cat" "it was a year and a half ago" etc etc...but she was like a sister to me. Is that weird? I still miss her :(

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:50 pm 
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vixki wrote:
.but she was like a sister to me. Is that weird? I still miss her :(


That's how it was with me and my cat Hilary. We got her when I was 8 years old and I grew up with her. She was with me through a lot of life struggles including the death of my mother. She lived to be 20 (human) years old as well and her kidneys shut down completely at the end. I miss her deeply as well as my beloved Lakota who died at age 12 from cancer and Zoe who died at 13 from cancer. All of them were so special to me in different ways. None of them were just "cats." Ever.


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:16 pm 
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I'm still at the crying once in a while stage. I really miss my awesome cat. It helps to talk about how awesome he was but it also makes me pretty sad.


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 5:25 pm 
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i lost it in target the other day looking at ornaments for cats...

mar's mom is in the hospital now, i am worried.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 1:02 pm 
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Today Mar would have been 17. This week has been really hard on us. All week I have been writing about Mar and trying to stay mental-busy with helping cats in need.

http://www.missmuffcake.com/2014/03/in- ... g-mar.html

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https://www.etsy.com/shop/missmuffcake


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 2:13 pm 
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What a gorgeous cat - those are lovely photos. Love the pirate hat :-)


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 2:55 pm 
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missmuffcake wrote:
Today Mar would have been 17. This week has been really hard on us. All week I have been writing about Mar and trying to stay mental-busy with helping cats in need.

http://www.missmuffcake.com/2014/03/in- ... g-mar.html


Hugs to you both, what lovely photos.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:54 pm 
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Hugs, MMC. Anniversaries and birthdays are hard.

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 4:28 pm 
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I was thinking about Vladimir today and felt pretty sad. His death was so sudden and unexpected.


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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 12:42 pm 
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Awww...<3 and hugs you guys.

I've been grieving Thurston pretty seriously lately. I mean, I grieve him pretty frequently anyway since he died last July (I grieve him especially because his death was sudden and unexpected and his life just feels like unfinished business to me and I think mostly because I feel terrible for bringing in a new kitten that was jumping all over Thurston when he was so sick and suffering and I didn't realize he was so ill...I'm sorry, Thurstles!!!) so...yeah, that's been rough. The guilt! The wish that I could go back in time and do things differently for him!

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 Post subject: Re: Grieving For Pets
PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 12:48 pm 
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I've been torturing myself with what-ifs about Oliver who died a little over a month ago. I wasn't there when he suddenly got sick and I can't help wondering if I had been there would I have realized his was in renal failure and if I did would it have made a difference (he'd been sick that Saturday but not very sick and since he was FIV+ he was sick a lot so my partner didn't think it was serious til Sunday morning and by the time he got to the emergency vet nothing could be done) or was he too sick already? I will never know and that is killing me. Last night I couldn't sleep going over it and over it.

Hugs to everyone dealing with loss.

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