At the very beginning of her trip, I had to explain to her why we don't refer to a cat or the dog as "it". I described how her granddaughter would not be referring to them as an "it". Breaking through the ingrained belief of the objectification of animals is difficult but we're using her grandchild to our advantage. Grandpa understood this but only time will tell if he chooses to remember it. On her last night we started calling her grandpa to her face and calling our girl a boy. It took her a minute to realize what we were doing. We kept doing it and it worked. Without any prompting she showed that she remembered our mnemonic memory device of "if the pet has any black fur anywhere, she's a girl" and had simply chosen not to apply it.
But the memory thing actually has me worried. In a store, you can tell my MIL you're headed to the bathroom and she'll say "Ok, let me hold that for you". 30 seconds later she thinks you left the building without her. I think she's becoming more "delusionized" as she grows older. Yup, she said that.
I have to reread this thread and see if I'm missing any "suplimentals" (I think she meant vitamins).
Demanding that people don't refer to animals as "it" when they have no concept or exposure to animal rights is just going to annoy the hell out of them. You think people who eat animals are going to go out of their way to change their vocabulary surrounding animals? I've been vegan for over 5 years and I still refer to animals as "it" sometimes. I cringe when I say it, but it happens.
And yeah, you should be more patient with your mother in law. It sounds like she is having serious issues with her cognition and memory. Your not doing yourself, your family, or veganism any favors by being so demanding, especially over frivolous things.