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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:33 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:15 pm
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Thanks for the kind words everyone. I really cannot believe how fast it happened, and how young she was. I just came home for the first time on my own since she passed and I automatically looked for her. It just feels so shitty. I feel so mad that she was taken from me before she was even 10 months old, that she was sick for most of that time. I don't know if I should have kept her at home all night or just put her down earlier, I mean I guess there's no point in worrying about that now, I'm glad I got to hold her but it was so intense watching her die over a span of hours and I really hope she felt ok. The vet at the ER said she probably didn't even know where she was anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:36 pm 
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Discovered unobtainium
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You did the right thing. I'm sure she knew you were there. She died quietly at home, with you, knowing how much she was loved--you did everything she could ever have asked for.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:09 am 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

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Thanks lavawitch.

I know there's really no point in wondering if I did the right thing now anyway. I'm just still in shock that she's gone.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:19 am 
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Not NOT A Furry
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Location: Coeur d' Alene, ID
I'm so sad for you, Strawberryrock. What grace you've shown through all this. And the one caveat-we should all be
so lucky to pass peacefully in the arms of somebody who loves us. RIP, Effie.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:51 am 
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This sucks beyond measure. I'm so sorry, Strawberryrock. What an amazing kittymom you are. Like Tenacious LD said, we should all be so lucky. Hugs to you.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:40 am 
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Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
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I usually check this board every day to see how Effie is doing, but I was sick in bed all weekend so I didn't see what happened on Friday until today.

Strawberryrock, I am so, so sorry for your loss! Effie was wonderful and special and amazing, and one of the beautiful things about cats is how they live completely in the moment. And despite being so young and not well for most of her short life, she had thousands of perfect moments with you where she was happy and comfortable and loved. Don't doubt your instinct to hold on to her rather than putting her down sooner... she was able to pass at home, with the one person she loved and trusted.

Huge, huge hugs to you. I am so sorry this happened, but I am glad you got to have such a special kitty in your life even for a short time. She packed a lot of living into her brief stay with you, and if your Effie was anything like my Steve, she's given you a gift that will last your whole life.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:01 am 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

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Just so you guys know, the PPK has really helped keep me sane through all of this, or at least a little saner than I would have been otherwise. I still feel like such a wreck, and am trying not to project that image to the outside world...I'm also freaking out about being over $6k in credit card debt, I am never going to be able to pay that off. I can barely make ends meets as it is. Maybe someday I'll have a job that pays more than $20k a year but I have no idea when that will be. Financially another kitten probably isn't the best choice but it's the choice I'm going to make. Pet insurance this time though.

I'll be getting her ashes later this week. It felt important to me at the time to have them but I have no idea what I'll actually do with them. The woman from the animal funeral home place called me to tell me that the ashes were ready and would be delivered to my vet and she said the words "Effie is ready to come home" and that was like the most painful thing she could have said to me. I miss her so much. I feel so forking exhausted from all the work that went into taking care of her as she got sicker, the medications and the vet visits and the constant trying to get her to eat and the syringe feedings and the baths, it's so crazy that I could do all of that and have no cat to show for it. And now I'm just looking at pictures of her and crying. So, that's good.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:25 am 
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I know I sound like a cliche, but seriously, hang in there. Losing my childhood dog was honestly the hardest thing I've gone through emotionally in my whole life. I still cry when I think about losing him. It is really, really, really, really hard losing an animal. Pretty much nothing is going to make it easier. Especially when you know they still had more life to live.

That being said, you syringe-fed and did ALL these tedious, heart-wrenching things in the face of her inevitable death because you loved (and still love) Effie. Try not to think of it in the 'I did all that, so why isn't she here' sense. The end result of all your work isn't tangible, but it will last forever. It really will. You get to know that you made one little cat's life so incredibly better than it otherwise would have been without you. That probably doesn't mean a lot to you now because you just want your cat back, but you still made it happen. The mere thought of Effie going through all this stuff without someone like you in her life makes me want to cry. I know I'M certainly proud of you.

All your future kittens are very, very lucky. Take care of yourself, lady.


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:28 am 
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Location: Wolfville, Nova Scotia
I'm thinking about you every day. I'm so sorry about your loss--it seems so unfair, but it really is beautiful that you loved little Effie so completely and I am honoured to have met her.

The debt sucks, but so many of us are in debt, and none of your purchases were useless. You did everything you could. You are the best kitty mama ever. <3 <3 <3


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:10 am 
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Do you have a relative who can pay the credit card, and then you pay them interest free?

I always wondered what I would do when a pet died (my high school cat just disappeared one day), cremation, burial...we buried Bonny in the back yard because it was the quickest option (also it was the middle of the night and I don't think I would've wanted to keep her body around to take her to the vet the next morning to get cremated). And then what we ended up doing was making her a little gravestone out of one of those stepping stone kits from the craft store, we imprinted her name in it and I found some plastic decorative buttons shaped like bugs and we pressed the bee shaped ones in it, with a black glass tile border. So when we leave I can take that with me and put it in my next garden, and that is something I can do for everyone, no matter how they go or what I do with the body. And eventually I will have a REALLY creepy garden.

alice1drland wrote:
I know I sound like a cliche, but seriously, hang in there. Losing my childhood dog was honestly the hardest thing I've gone through emotionally in my whole life. I still cry when I think about losing him. It is really, really, really, really hard losing an animal. Pretty much nothing is going to make it easier. Especially when you know they still had more life to live.



No joke. I cried just typing that stuff out above. It only took me a month or so to stop listening to Skeeter Davis on repeat, and I can look at pictures of her without wanting to put a fork in my eye, but the pain is still there if I talk about her death.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:40 am 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

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I don't really have any relatives with money, unfortunately. If I had my own yard I probably would have buried her...my mom said I could bury her in my parents' yard but I didn't like the idea and I had this weird fear that even though we couldn't feel her breathe or her heart beat she wasn't actually dead and we would end up burying her alive. I think.I wanted the closure of taking her to the vet's office more than I wanted the actual cremation. And it ge an opportunity to talk to my vet about what happened and get hugs from all the receptionists and nurses and it was nice to talk to people who understood. But now I'm like...do I get an urn? Where do they go? I don't have a mantle or anything...

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:56 am 
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Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
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You can always just scatter them, or there are fancy boxes made just for ashes that you can buy. Whatever you think would make you feel better.

I kind of regret burying Bonny in the back, two days later I totally lost it because I couldn't handle the idea that she was out there in the cold. And now when I clear the weeds from around the stone I have...really morbid thoughts about decay and stuff.

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"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:36 pm 
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We had our cat Steve cremated when he passed, and when we picked him up they had already put his ashes in a little wooden box with a brass nameplate. We decided to keep him on the mantel with his favorite toys and the sympathy cards we received until we were ready to let him go. Once we're ready, we'll scatter his ashes in the backyard (his favorite place, that's him on the left in his harness in our backyard) and put down a small stone for him under his ferns.

For the first two weeks after we got his ashes back, right before I left for work, I'd stop by and put my hands on each side of his box and talk to him and cry. (Every morning when he was alive I'd hold his little face in my hands and rub my thumbs on his cheeks and tell him I loved him and to have a good day.) I'm finally to the point where I can stop and put my hand on his little box and give him a rub and a smile. It still hurts so bad, but it's getting more bearable.

My heart goes out to you, and I agree that any pets you have in the future will be very lucky to have you.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:06 pm 
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We had my dog cremated and his ashes are in a nice wooden box, which is in my father's home in Iowa. The little purple pipecleaner stick figure my sister made for him is next to it. She used to call his "conscience" and we had it above his food and water bowls when he was still alive (I dunno, we were weird kids). I know it may seem strange at first to have your pet's ashes close to you, but it was oddly comforting to me at the time to know he was always going to be Home.


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:55 am 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

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My story on Catster about FIP just went up
http://www.catster.com/lifestyle/fip-cats

Effie has finally achieved her dream of being famous on the internet.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:27 am 
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That's so sad. Sorry about your kitty.


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:41 pm 
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I didn't see this until now. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard all of this has been for you and I have no doubt Effie knew how much you loved her.

I had Butters cremated after he died because I couldn't bear to leave him at the vet and I didn't have a yard where I could bury him. I ended up buying a wood box and I stored his ashes inside and he sits on the dresser in my bedroom. It does make me feel better having him there. I think the best place for Effie's ashes is wherever you want her to be.


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:15 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool

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I'm not sure which of you just gave me some money but you're amazing and because of that I was able to pay for her cremation with real money and not with a credit card and I love you all.

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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:18 pm 
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StrawberryRock, bless your heart girl. My thoughts are with you. It's so hard to lose a beloved companion.


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 Post subject: Re: my kitten has a bone infection
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:07 pm 
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I just saw that Effie passed now (in the post about adding another cat) and I can only offer more condolences and hugs. You're an awesome kitty mama and my heart goes out to you.

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