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 Post subject: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:00 pm 
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The title of this thread may sound strange but for the first time in over 22 years I am kitty-less. I got Daphne because my parents neighbors moved and left her. 5 1/2 years later I got Chloe as a tiny kitten from a co-worker when I overheard her talking about the kittens. They were such good and wonderful cats. Daphne was pretty grouchy, never liked Chloe much but accepted her and they tolerated each other. I think Chloe's last 5 1/2 years alone with me were her happiest. Daphne kind of intimidated her. They were both strictly indoors. They both passed naturally with me at home in advanced age.

A number of months before I got Chloe I ALMOST adopted a kitten available at the vet. I was about to say I'd take her when a mother and daughter came in who said they had been in earlier and wanted to get her. The daughter looked terrified she had lost out on the kitten so I gave her to them. I'm so glad I did. Otherwise I would have never got Chloe.

My kitties were so good. Always used the litter box. Chloe used the box the evening before she passed away. Even though she was so weak. That's how clean she was.

When I read about people who have cats with litter box issues, I get scared. I don't know if I could take that stress. I also live in an apartment. I've owed a house, but the stress would be the same.

I've been looking on Pet Finder. I'm not sure if I want to wait until "kitten season" this summer. I know there will be so many kittens needing homes then. But there are cats needing homes NOW. It's starting to boggle my mind. I'd love to have two cats together that ACTUALLY like each other.

I'd love to have kittens. It would help avoid the stress of older cats transitioning to a new home. I'm not sure if I'm prepared for rambunctious kittens. Cats who are online from foster homes have a little more current behavior history too.

Anyway, any insights? I just kind of wanted to get my thoughts out there. I'm not really 100% sure when I'll be ready for new kitties.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:54 pm 
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I would say go visit your local shelters and see if they have any bonded cats, likewise for your local rescues. We got our first cat when she was 9 months old, still kitty like but out of the total kitten stage. Our 3 year old cat though adjusted fine to our home. I'm sure there is a cat (or 2) out there that would be happy to come into your life.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:27 pm 
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You could also look into rescue groups who might have bonded cats who are living in a foster home environment. That might give you a little more assurance about their behavior.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:42 am 
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This is going to sound incredibly harsh but it needs to be said.......

Are you really sure that you are ready for another cat?

Adopting an animal is a life long "for better or worse" commitment.

Few people "want" a cat that has litter box or behavioral issues but these things do occur and you have to be willing to deal with them should they happen.

Sometimes a cat has litter box issues because of a medical problem- sometimes they have anxiety issues.

These cats deserved to be loved as much as any other cats do and are often dumped and abused because of conditions they can not
control.

If you can't handle the "stress" of caring for a cat who might not be turn out to fit the mold of your idea of "perfect"- I say get a stuffed animal.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:52 am 
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I felt exactly the same way you did after I lost my two fluffy, awesome friends with in the past year. I thought any new cat couldn't possibly be anywhere near as good as they had been. But after a while it became obvious that I couldn't deal with not having pets, so we decided to get more cats.

We ended up going to the SPCA here, where the cats basically live in a big room together and you can just sit and play with them for as long as you want. It ended up being really, really easy to tell which kittens (we adopted two that were about 4 months old) would be a good fit with us. And their personalities for that hour or so at the shelter have turned out to be exactly how they actually still are, months later.

It is risky not knowing what behavioral or health problems they might develop down the road, but we haven't had any issues with ours so far (except for some respiratory infections when they were really little). I think you just have to assume that things will be generally okay and then deal with issues as they arise.

You really should be mentally prepared for kittens, though - they are total nutcases a lot of the time. My Banana is just now almost a year old and he's still sort of a little terror. But so, so cute and cuddly and 100% worth it.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:11 pm 
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SuzyHB, I sent you a PM because I think your post is ignorant.

Thanks everyone else.

Molly, I am wondering about kittens. My apartment isn't that big. I could move. There really isn't anything more precious than a kitten and I haven't even held one in years. Daphne was about a year old when I got her. I brought her to my apartment, made a strictly indoor cat out of her and she never attempted to get out. She seemed glad to have a home. Chloe had the calico personality and was a very quiet kitten.

I'm not worried about kittens running around the place and dive bombing the furniture. I can put breakables away for a year or more if I have to.

But I am 50. And I thought these would be the last young cats I would ever get as I'd of coarse hope they would live to an old age. After that, if I lived that long, I would never get young cats again. I'd be worried about them outliving me.

Plus with all the kitties needing homes, it's so hard to choose. Daphne kind of came to me. And Chloe was certainly the kitty for me. She was like the love of my life. No living thing has ever given me the comfort she did. I'm not worried about medical bills. I can afford my pets.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:37 pm 
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SuzyHB wrote:
This is going to sound incredibly harsh but it needs to be said.......


No it didn't. If you re-read my post, there is nothing in there about wanting a "perfect" cat.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:58 pm 
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I say go for cats, not kittens. More people tend to want kittens because they are so cute (not saying this is why you might want one). My cat was was adobted from the SPCA by a roommate's friend's girlfriend when he was about 2 years old. When they broke up, Loki came to live with us. Lots of bouncing around for him, and he has always been an amazingly loving, well behaved boy - more so than any kitten I have ever had.
There can always be issues, though - cat or kitten, it is a risk that comes with bringing a furry friend into our homes. Plus, there are also products you can try if you are worried about transitional stress (rescue remedy, and feliway).


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:01 pm 
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I would go to a local shelter. I know the one near me has some young ones paired up, usually siblings. Good luck!

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:01 pm 
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I agree that adopting a cat rather than a kitten is a great idea! Not that you can't get a young cat though, that are really still kittens but most people would call a cat because of their look & size.

I wish you luck in finding a binded pair, I don't think that should be too hard to do, at the SPCA where I volunteer and the shelter where I adopted Arte from, they have had a few bonded pairs come and go.

:) Best wishes to you on your new kitteh journey

I will add that when I adopted Wiley, he was about 2 years old so still young and my other cat at the time, Finleigh, wasn't the nicest but he adapted fine. It only tool him a few weeks to become really comfortable in the house and just a few days before he felt okay to leave his "safe space".

Arte was a kitten when we brought her home after Finleigh passed. Her & Wiley get along way better than Fineligh & Wiley, they cuddle and play all day long.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:40 pm 
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Teresa wrote:
SuzyHB, I sent you a PM because I think your post is ignorant.



If there is one thing SuzyHB is not, it is ignorant. If you pay attention on these boards, you will find that she is one of the most ardent cat lovers, and one of the most outspoken cat advocates, that ever was here. Your first post does sound like you might be as concerned with the state of the litter box than as you are with the potential cat. If that's not the case, maybe reword it.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:56 pm 
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Teresa wrote:
I'd love to have kittens. It would help avoid the stress of older cats transitioning to a new home. I'm not sure if I'm prepared for rambunctious kittens.


I'd say go to a shelter and look for kitty siblings. I always read that kitty siblings tend to like each other a lot. I almost adopted a pair of big Persian-looking kitties but figured that they were so pretty someone would want them soon. I think I posted a thread online somewhere about them. I ended up getting a kitty that a family was making fun of while I was there, and it was such a good choice.

The kittens get adopted up pretty fast-- I like to go for older cats anyway because they're usually more laid back. Pops was 4 when I got her and she didn't have any trouble adjusting to a house with two other cats and a dog. I have a ~2 year old cat that I wish was older and calmer every day!

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:30 pm 
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Just to clarify, I'm not worried about broken items, clawed couches, hair balls, cat litter tracked into the bed etc etc. When I would sew, I would literally count my pins "I'll take 20 out" If I didn't have 20 at the end of my sewing I'd sweep and vacuum like crazy. I was so worried about my cats being harmed by a pin or needle.

But I admit I don't handle stress well. I've been yelled at enough for a thousand lifetimes. My job both scares and stresses me, although I am grateful for it and the money I make. I used to tell me kitties how good they were to me. What would I do If I didn't have them to come home to.

I picked Chloe out of a box of kittens when she was 2 weeks old. Taking her home at 7 weeks. She was the least pretty of the 3 calico kittens. But she was a tiny tiny runt. That is why I took her and I'm so glad I did. All these years I thought of her litter mates. How did they fare? She was probably the last living when she died. I had a woman I worked with bring 3 gorgeous kittens into work one day. I couldn't bring a kitten in the house with elderly Chloe. I still wonder how those kittens fared. So I'm going to wonder about cats I saw I didn't take. I don't know if others do this too. I still think about cats I saw dead on the road 30 years ago.

And yes, I do worry about litter box issues. That doesn't make me unqualified to have or love cats. I'm just amazed at how good mine were. I had worried about what I would do if Chloe became incontinent in very advanced age. I work full time and an 8 hour shift can turn into a 16 hour shift with little warning if someone calls in. I often work without a lunch break. I couldn't just leave work anytime. We never close. It would have killed me to have her put to sleep for something like that. I'm grateful that never happened. She died in a week when I noticed she was not feeling well. Lymphoma.

Anyway, I thank those who have given me kind advice. I'm yet to decide what I will do. I do know any cats I have will be loved and cared for.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:44 pm 
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celyn wrote:
Teresa wrote:
SuzyHB, I sent you a PM because I think your post is ignorant.



If there is one thing SuzyHB is not, it is ignorant. If you pay attention on these boards, you will find that she is one of the most ardent cat lovers, and one of the most outspoken cat advocates, that ever was here. Your first post does sound like you might be as concerned with the state of the litter box than as you are with the potential cat. If that's not the case, maybe reword it.


Only a very brief part of my original post regarded litter box issues. Not even two full lines. If my original post wasn't 100% clear, I guess I can't help that. I'll leave it as it is. When I said my cats were good. They were. Not only because they used the litter box, it's because they made me able to exist. They were so good in many many ways. Daphne was grumpy. Clawing and biting me more than once. That was just her. And I loved and respected her grumpiness. She amazed me too how an outdoor stray transitioned into a strictly indoor cat without ever trying to get out the door again. Daphne hissed and swatted at Chloe pretty severely when I first brought her home. I kept them separated for about 2 months when I wasn't home. I feared for tiny Chloe. Everything was always wonderful and perfect and I'm not looking for that. But I would like two cats that are friends. I'd like two cats that use the litter box. I do worry about it a bit.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 5:04 pm 
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I should just apologize for starting this post. I'm sorry I mentioned my precious kitties who I will love forever in this setting. I'm sorry but I couldn't express 22 years of living with my kitties in the simple original post. That's not possible. I'll just have to trust that the right kitties will come to me. I'll move any concerns or worries I have to those that know me and who I can trust. I do know I will care for and love any future kitties. They are what I exist for and go to work for. If not for them, I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:13 pm 
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Well, i'm glad I stumbled upon this thread because oddly, no one reported it!

I do think Suzy's post was kind of harsh and I didn't get the impression that Teresa is like, going to dump any cat who isn't perfect. She was just thinking out loud. Carry on with the cat talk!

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:27 pm 
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Admittedly I was harsh- but the number one reason cats and dogs are surrendered to the pound are due to house soiling issues.

This is a fact.

You said "I don't know if I could take that stress"- and my point is that if that is the case than maybe you should reconsider getting another cat. Or at least wait until you are sure "can take the stress"

I have spent years approving adoption applications and working animals of all sorts with various behavior issues.

If you were to put "I don't know if I could take that stress" of dealing with a cat who may have at some point develop a problem with with its litter box- on an application that crossed my desk- I would turn your application down in a heartbeat. I don't care what else you said.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 7:05 pm 
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People can lie on an application any time. State they will provide the best home when they don't.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 7:20 pm 
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This is true.

This is why we ask for references check them and do a home check.

I am just telling you that if I saw any indication of someone not being to handle the stress associated with a common problem that some cats have-I would turn that person down without a second thought.

But thats not even the point- I knew I was being harsh but I felt that I needed to get my point across.

I don't think you are ready for the responsibility that goes along with making a life long commitment to a living and breathing animal. And I sincerely hope that you do some deep soul searching before moving forward with this.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:09 am 
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SuzyHB wrote:
This is true.

This is why we ask for references check them and do a home check.

I am just telling you that if I saw any indication of someone not being to handle the stress associated with a common problem that some cats have-I would turn that person down without a second thought.

But thats not even the point- I knew I was being harsh but I felt that I needed to get my point across.

I don't think you are ready for the responsibility that goes along with making a life long commitment to a living and breathing animal. And I sincerely hope that you do some deep soul searching before moving forward with this.


Soul searching? YOU don't think I'm ready for the responsibility? After I loved and cared for two cats for 22 years and cats before that. I just got done committing to two living and breathing cats for 22 years. Grateful I could afford the diabetic vet bills for 10 years. Not everyone could. I don't know where your words come from. Can't you read my post. Really your thought process makes no sense to me. You appear stuck on a though process that will not bend.

I guess my concern came from this forum and seeing litter box issues posted. Something I have never experienced. It got me thinking. Why do some cats have these issues. Mine never have. My dearest friends cats never have. I also disagree that this is a common problem. It was just a thought and I've been attacked as someone who is incapable of caring for cats when I clearly have.

As I said in the PM I sent you, I think any kind and rational person who came into my home would clearly see I would give cats a quiet and loving home. I'm sure any kind person would be willing to discuss any concerns I may have which really are just concerns. I'm going to discuss this attack with the all volunteer director of our local PAWS. I'd like her opinion. I know her to be a very kind person and advocate for animals.

As I stated, anyone who came into my home would get an honest look and evaluation. An honest conversation. No lies. No pretense. People can say anything. Rid the house of things they don't want an evaluator to see. On and on. You never know. I'm more than a little concerned that you think you can tell absolutely everything.

And also, what people didn't want to discuss was how to pick a cat without thinking about the one(s) you didn't take. And actually, I probably can't do that. I've thought of Chloe's litter mates for 18 years and hoped they had as good a life as she did. I could search my soul over and over and know I gave those girls the best life I could. When I was with both of them when they died, that I had. I could not have done better.

But I can't get more cats according to this person? What a judge and jury.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:31 am 
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Sigh- you know as I said in my PM I am really not in the mood to get into a protracted argument with you on this. But since you do not appear to be willing to at least consider the issues I have raised I will ask you the following question:

If you were to adopt an animal who turned out to have a "litter box issue" for whatever reason -and you couldn't "take the stress of" of dealing with it- what exactly would that mean for the animal?

If it was my responsibility as an adoption counselor to see that an animal was going to a forever home, and if and potential adopter told me that they were not able to take the stress of dealing with this or any other problem that might occur during that animal's lifetime- I would not be very reassured about that animal's long term well being with that person.

Sorry - but that would be my honest opinion.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:56 am 
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This thread is making me feel really bad. Neither of you knows each other's true intentions and I think for your own sakes you should probably stop responding to each other.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:33 pm 
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Unfortunately much of your response has been filled with nonconstructive snappy answers. "Put that on an application and see how far you get."

What would I do? I'm not 100% sure. It's never happened to me. Probably because I provide a calm loving home so it may never be an issue. It was an honest fear I put out there mainly started by some threads I saw on this forum. I was actually surprised people were having these problems and I guess it scared me. I wonder what goes on to cause it. I don't know.

I think your responses were those of a bully. Something in my post made you think attacking was fine without rational conversation. One thing I know is is a bully. For you to speak to me as you did after the recent loss of a loved pet was mean.

This thread does nothing to their memory. They were so much more than that. And if anyone placing a cat asked me my worst fear of adoption, I'd tell them. Honestly. I can't imagine they would be cruel. I think they would talk to me about it, about my past and come to a rational conclusion.

Perhaps do your own soul searching and ask yourself why you attacked me as you did.


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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:32 pm 
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Out of respect for the Moderator's request I am not going to respond.

I suggest that you do the same.

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 Post subject: Re: I Don't Know If I Know How To Pick My Kitties.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:44 pm 
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And this thread is closed! Good luck, Teresa.

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