Post Punk Kitchen Forum

No pics, unfortunately. I can't even stand to think about it.

But yesterday we heard a screeching noise, and I asked my daughter if she knew if the neighbors had gotten a parrot, and she said no (she goes over there to play with the kid on occasion). This screeching noise goes on and on all afternoon and i pay no more attention. I mean, it's Brazil, someone on the block has a parrot, obviously. In a few months the enviro police will be here to give them a huge ticket and send them to jail, that's how it works here.

But the neighbor comes over later to ask if i can do her a favor, and mentions in passing that she's "arranged for a boyfriend" for her tortoise, and they've been getting it on all afternoon. She mentions the screaming noises they both make. (just like a parrot) She then tells me that they're resting, as a modern couple, far away from each other, but that when they strap it on again, she'll come and get me. I have since been hiding with the doors closed and the lights off.

Turtle sexy time noises win. My friend showed me this video a few years ago and I can never look at turtles the same way again. "Ehhhhhhh ehhhhh.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R5QueuvKQ4

Whoa!
That link also has a video of giant tortoises mating, which is one of the most impressive sex acts I've ever seen.

and the whole time all i can think about is "squirtle, squirtle, squirtle"

My ex-boyfriend's dad used to have tortoises. Their sex noises were horrifying.

Why are they weird?

This freaked my dog out, and me! I will be hearing that in my sleep for months... The look on the female is so hysterically bored, almost worth the trauma of watching the video!