Post Punk Kitchen Forum

@mars- usually only when things really get to be really, really shitty or dangerous do people think about therapy. But since doing therapy for "pathological reasons" i find myself applying the things that we talked about to so many situations, and using the therapy perspective (exploring things to find the root and change the situation or find a different angle to produce a better result for yourself or at least a more comfortable place for yourself) with my kid in all sorts of mundane situations. It's too bad that there isn't more, accessible, no-flak therapy widely available to everyone, without needing a clinical diagnosis. Maybe you might be able to find a situation where you could explore this stuff with someone.

Problem is that, I don't feel like anything (other than how I feel) is bothering me.

But I did see a LCSW for a while, and I really liked her but... I never really knew what to talk about, and it didn't feel any different than just talking with a friend. I also had the same sort of situation where, me going there, being with someone I liked, etc, it made me feel pretty chipper, so it's hard to explain the negative feelings when it seems like I'm pretty happy.

Maybe worrying about what is wrong and wondering why you feel that way is making you feel worse? It is ok to feel annoyed, sad or lonely sometimes without there needing to be a reason. I am not saying there isn't, there may be something bothering you that you just don't realise, but the next time you feel like that maybe just try and be ok with it, just accept that that is how you feel right now and see if that helps.

I'm so, so sorry you are having a tough time, thisheregiraffe. I have heard that massage can be helpful with grief. Both the therapeutic elements (improved circulation, ease of muscle tension, relaxation, etc) but also the human touch can be beneficial during this time.

I hope you can find some relief. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve it.

^^Thank you, studio. I'm going for another massage this week, I hope.

Also, the "serious" depression is back and worse than ever. I feel like it's REALLY obvious to everyone who has to come into contact with me.

This may sound super silly but I feel really lonely right now. I am spending as much time as I can with my friends and in work or just being busy but the moment I stop I just feel so sad and alone. This is just not like me at all, I am normally so happy by myself but I just find myself wishing I had someone to give me a big hug all of the time!

Sorry you feel like that, Sarah-Jane. Probably won't help much but I'm sending you a virtual hug from across the water.

Hugs to you SJ. Don't be scared to go to your doctor and perhaps look into counseling. If this behavior is out of the norm for you, it might be good to get checked out.

Does anyone ever feel that therapy is making their depression worse? Gosh, I thought I was doing really well, and then I go in for a session and it breaks up a whole lot of crepe that I hadn't thought about in ages, and then it's just THERE. And I have to deal with it. Ugh. I know it's helping me process things that I've been repressing, but it's still ugly and makes me feel a wee bit miserable.

hi.

I have struggled with depression for most of my life. I just saw the doc today and asked for an increase to my zoloft. started having thoughts about cutting, which I haven't done in 20 years.

I also went for a massage last night. being single, I miss touch. the massage gives me touch, and it also really grounds me.

I see my therapist tonight.

I believe that the depression is a chemical imbalance that runs in my family. but the circumstances of running from an abusive spouse and trying to learn to manage as a single mom this past year has really made it worse. or, more accurately, my stress level is so high that I just don't have the skills to cope, so I feel the depression more acutely.

so, that's where I am. just wanted to share and say you're not alone. some of us just feel this way. I have a ton of emotional baggage, but I am certain that I would feel this way even if I didn't.

cyn

Hi starry,

Lots of hugs.

- Bun.

I've had this feeling before. I've always tried to look at it as a "getting worse before it gets better" scenario, but that probably depends on the situation. Hang in there<3

Hey, people on meds that increase appetite: does that ever stop, or can you learn to deal with it? I've been on mirtazapine for about two months, and part of the reason the doctor prescribed it is that my depression was causing loss of appetite and I was becoming underweight. It helped and I gained back about ten pounds, which puts me at the low end of normal, according to doc--but I still want food all the time! I know it's the meds and it's driving me nuts. I'm considering asking her to switch meds because of this, is that terribly shallow? It also makes me sleep like a rock for 12 hours unless I set an alarm--again, this was desirable when I started the medication because I was getting 3 hours a night, but now it's really a pain.

I am thinking about going back on medication for my bipolar disorder. I haven't been taking anything for a few years now, having finally just quit meds when I was up to juggling 14 pills a day and various side effects. My doctor has said in the past "as long as you're managing, you don't have to be on medication". And I have been managing, but this latest downward swing has got me thinking that it would be nice for my life to be better than "just managing".

Does anyone else struggle with med compliance/being on meds longterm?

I am having one of those days. Or, more accurately I suppose, one of those lives. I have had sufferred from depression my whole life. I tried to commit suicide the first time when I was too young to even know what i was doing, just that I did not want to be here anymore. Since then there has been more attempts, the last one being two yeats ago right after being sent home by the mental health professional at urgent care with some breathing excercises. My parents figured out something was wrong that nighr, busted down my door and hauled me to emergency. I spent the next month in an intensive treatment program.
I have been on meds for years and they do help a bit but for the last six months I have had a really difficult time affording them. I had to stop working for about eight months when things were really bad which put me in horrible debt. Since then i have had huge financial problems and work just under

I am having one of those days. Or, more accurately I suppose, one of those lives. I have had sufferred from depression my whole life. I tried to commit suicide the first time when I was too young to even know what i was doing, just that I did not want to be here anymore. Since then there has been more attempts, the last one being two years ago right after being sent home by the mental health professional at urgent care with some breathing excercises. My parents figured out something was wrong that nighr, busted down my door and hauled me to emergency. I spent the next month in an intensive treatment program.
I have been on meds for years and they do help a bit but for the last six months I have had a really difficult time affording them. I had to stop working for about eight months when things were really bad which put me in horrible debt. Since then i have had huge financial problems and work just under sixty hours a week to try and survive. But i still can't pay my bills and luve in fear of services being cut off. I have such a huge debt liad after that time off work that I am just stuck!
It seems like trying to get help has just caused way more problems then it helped. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone else had problems reintegrating after time in the hospital? I know that I should be going back into therapy because I am not doing great right now but I can't help but feel like the ling term problems it will cause are not wieth any short term gains.

Sorry about all the spelling errors, I am at work on my phone! I just wanted to add that I am not at risk for harming myself. I just needed to vent and was curious about what you do when there is a big void between what you need to do in order to survive in the world vs what you need to do to take care of yourself mentally?

First of all, lots of (((hugs))) to everyone!

How do people afford getting mental health help? I feel like I am barely scratching the surface of getting help and am burning through my savings because my lousy personal insurance coverage doesn't cover, well, pretty much anything, but absolutely nothing for mental health. It's a catch 22: I'm depressed and have anxiety, so I seek help. But the cost of seeking help is so great that is makes me more depressed and a lot more anxiety, which I need more help for. And the cycle continues.

And I want to say at least I have some means to seek help, but so far none of the meds are working and the side effects are very unpleasant. So really, what's the point?

I'm sorry. I can't even begin to consider affording therapy/counseling, but because of the nutty way things are up here, I can get meds basically for free. My mum used to work for a pay-what-you-can counseling agency (a friend of mine went for a series of sessions, and she could only afford $5 a session, which they accepted). Maybe there is a non-profit like that in your community?

Hugs!

None that I am aware of, though I continue to look. The closest I've found was through a ministry/church, which seemed sketchy.

Thank you for the recommendations :)

When I started on meds my Dr recommended a multi vitamin. That seemed to help. The meds leach minerals out of your system and that's why you're super hungry. Your body is trying to fill the nutritional needs that the meds take out. Hope that helps.

So my anti-depressants were making me feel kinda wired and I had too much energy so I did something stupid and stopped taking them. Now I feel majorly depressed again.

I need this to not be my life anymore.

OH gosh!!! Huge hugs! I've been there. The first antidepressent I tried (paxil) made me so ramped up (hypomanic?) that I would be off the rails all the time. Well, not all the time, but even just thinking about the energy I had then makes me a bit tired. The psychiatrist I was seeing at the time said that happened with some people on paxil, and switched me to something else that was far better (until the drug recall for liver damage, but that's another story [I didn't have liver damage, luckily]..).

Can you talk to your doctor about other options? You're so lovely; try to hang in there!

Thanks ndpittman. I am seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks because after my last assessment they think I have bipolar II, so hopefully they will sort everything else. I would just enjoy a nice sense of stability!

Has anyone done a sleep study to find out if a sleeping disorder is attributing to their depression? My doctor recommended it, because I'm tired all the time, and therefore making me more sad/unmotivated.

That's interesting, Kinney. It's never been suggested to me, I assume because it always seemed like a result of depression not the cause.

I'm glad to hear you're seeing someone SJ; wish it could be sooner for you, but I have faith you'll be good.

I hit a bump post return from Brazil, but I'm seeing the light at the end of tunnel. I feel like if I could just get the energy to clean the house, life would be pretty OK. (Only better if my husband were with me instead of in Brazil.)

Just want to send everyone hugs. I've been dealing with depression for many years - since my teens - and only now am I finally seeking help for it. Unfortunately the crappy health care system in the U.S. was the main reason I couldn't seek help once I finished college. Now that I'm in The Netherlands it's actually affordable (hooray for socialized medicine!). Though I realized that the money thing was just a smoke screen for me to avoid going. It's amazing how we can be in so much pain yet be too afraid to fix it. I know for me the idea of therapy is absolutely overwhelming - where to start? - but you just have to start. I'm still just in the beginning stages of talking with someone other than my partner (it's not healthy to dump all that on someone), but I'm trying to stay hopeful.