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Pr, I have taken wellbutrin in the past and didn't have those side effects.

I've been thinking lately that I may need to add another med like you PR, because I too have developed symptoms of depression on top of my regular ol' anxiety lately (that I take citalopram/celexa to help with), and that med isn't touching the depression. I'm terrified of the weight gain though. I've gained 80 lbs on this medication, and that's with exercising a few times a week and eating a relatively balanced diet. While I am still comfortable with my size (I'm 230lbs now), I can't fathom gaining more weight. It would be a detriment to my health. I'm really unsure of what to do.

I'm not sure about other drugs, but wellbutrin often causes weight loss as a side effect. Have you talked to your doc, and if so, what meds did they recommend?

My doc has recommended I supplement with seroquel, which I guess is used off label for depression but is actually an antipsychotic. Antipsychotics have weight gain associated with them too (which is why so many people with schizophrenia are obese). My doctor sees weight gain as a very real risk, but with any type of psychotherapeutic meds, it's all just "take it and see". That's too much of a risk for me, so...ugh! I dunno.

Mirtazapine is one that causes a monster appetite and weight gain. Now I haven't put on a huge amount of weight, just a few pounds, but I have to be really conscious of what I eat and how much. It only takes a few lazy days and I can put on 7lbs.

Thanks to my high anxiety levels the past two weeks (with no cause) my mood has really gone south the past 2 days. I have an appointment on Friday with my psychiatrist. I also only have a few hours work on Monday then a week off so I will get some time to rest.

My self esteem has taken an immense nose dive. We have a show tonight and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it.

8ball, I hope you find a way through it because you are all that is awesome and more. Good luck and I'm sending positive-self thoughts in your direction.

hang in there 8ball. i had a similar feeling last week before a ridiculous session of test teaching (3 days, 8 hours, what was i THINKING) and just took it one moment at a time, and before i knew it i was done. i'll be thinking of you tonight!

I'm lower my hormone dosage for my thyroid and I can really feel it. I'm crying every day and feel bad about myself, university, all my creative plans, like I'll never finish my paintings or the cookbook and I worry about my boyfriend not liking me anymore, I gained so much weight
:(

I forced myself to make a dinner for the next few nights last night and made myself make a big pot of soup for a few lunches. Proud of myself for doing that because my concentration is really bad at present. Good, healthy, tasty food is exactly what I needed.

I got up early enough today and took a long walk with the dog and have even managed to do some tidying around the house. Badly need a nap now though!

Thanks LP and torque. I have no idea where that massive dip came from but can only assume that it stemmed from migraine postdrome. I feel a lot better now and got through the show just fine.

VeganinBerlin, is there anyone you can talk to?

This stems from a post in the relationship thread, so apologies for the multi-posting.

The guy I'm dating has me so sad (see relationship post). I think I know down deep that I need to end things, but I met him as soon as I moved here and I pretty much literally have no friends. I have coworkers, who are awesome, but they all have their own families. I don't get a chance to meet new people, because when I'm not working I spend my time with him. I know this in itself is not great, but I really love him and want to spend as much time with him as I can.

I get really depressed when we're not together, and I've come to dread coming home to my place and being alone because I love his place, his company, despise mine, and despise being alone. It's so ironic - I didn't date anyone for 10 years, and while I had sad moments, for the most part I didn't mind being alone and doing my own thing. Now I can't stand my own company.

I have the day off today, and I just want to hibernate and cry all day. I'm not motivated to do anything, meet new people, or find new things to do. My heart hurts so much. I need to see a therapist, but I just don't see a way out of this black hole. I feel so trapped right now.

SD! Huge hugs!! I think seeing a therapist is an excellent first step. Maybe he or she can help you with an action plan to be more active outside of your relationship. I like the work I'm doing because we are going really slowly. Ordinarily I'd set my expectations too high, setting myself up to fail and then feeling worse about myself. Now it's more like, OK! I can manage going to the gym twice a week and making a list and schedule for household chores. (The list and the schedule being two separate assignments.) hang in there!

Ok, I'm feeling a lot better this week. Like I feel like I am together and getting on top of things. I have a few days off work to use up the last of my annual leave time and I'm actually using the time to do things that I've been putting off forever.

The only thing I can put it down to is that I was changed from generic anti-depressent to the brand name. Feel like a kumquat because I asked from my psych appointment to be brought forward by 2 weeks to this week because I was so bad the past few weeks.

Thanks ndp! I really appreciate your encouragement :).

My psychologist is having me do lists of things I need to accomplish each day. He said some people just automatically do things that make them feel good/boost their sense of accomplishment and worth, but I need to schedule that kind of stuff for myself.

Yes! My psychologist calls these masterful activities, something you don't necessarily do for pleasure, but that builds self esteem and gives a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes it makes me feel bad that I'm not a person who just does those things, but I figure all I can do is move forward and work with what I've got!

No problem, ScooterDiva! You deserve to be happy. I hope you found at least one thing to do today just because it makes you happy. There are some good ideas in this thread: http://theppk.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=25868&hilit=Depression&sid=24fa74633943c9783d6e16812f3dee30.

Glad to hear you're on the up and up daisychain. Sounds like it might be good to check in anyway.

Hugs to everyone.

I'm having a super super depressing time right now. I feel like I can't trust my guy at all (my issues, previous relationship where I was constantly cheated on and didn't know), so I'm always thinking he's out hitting on girls. I'm homesick, really missing Seattle, and every time I move away from Seattle I come back. Is it better to have a job you love and weather you can't stand for 9 months, or a job/place you can't stand but has awesome weather for 12 months? Nevermind the fact that I haven't really met any friends here and am feeling super isolated. I miss Seattle and all my friends so much right now. Wondering why I even moved here in the first place. I can't stand to be this alone.

Thanks NDP. I had a great day yesterday... I cancelled my credit card and I chopped off my hair. I'm thrilled with my hair, it's short enough that it will be easy to manage and it suits me. I finally found a hairdresser that was willing to lob off my long hair that I hated. The only reason it was long in the first place was hairdressers not cutting enough off! I had great fun with the hairdresser I had and she said she really enjoyed doing my hair because she really got to go wild with the scissors and I was so easy to chat to. That was great in itself because I've been going through such a long spell of being socially awkward.

Also, one of my photographer friends asked me to pose for some photos for him. As soon as I shift the extra few pounds around my hips and manage to get my skin nice and clear again I'm going to do it because I need to start feeling confident again.

i saw your photo on teh other thread and good for you, DC!! i did the same thing a while ago (just walked in, almost waist length hair, and said to the stylist, do whatever the hell you want and got a fantastic haircut). it's nice to have a vote of confidence every once in a while, isn't it?

It is indeed. Doing something like that on the spur of the moment feels fantastic. Makes me feel like I've the control over my life rather than life controlling me.

My experience with Wellbutrin included increased anxiety (to the point of needing to jump off the 99 bus in Vancouver almost every time because I thought I was going to die), weight loss (but I get that with cipralex too), increased energy (though slightly manic, it did help motivate me during school), constant brain zaps, and loss of appetite. I felt really high on Wellbutrin and it took me a long time to admit that it was doing me more harm than good, because I felt on top of the world and the most energetic person alive. Oh and it kicked up my sex drive, which I definitely miss! But also my hair thinned out so much, which sucked. Wellbutrin is a weird one, and definitely each experience is unique, but what I have heard from everyone is that it does tend to increase anxiety, so you might want to be careful with that. I've never taken it with another drug though, so maybe the cipralex would negate that. But I'm pretty sure if I was on both I would never eat, because both seem to be appetite killers for me. I had no excessive sweating.

Wellbutrin was the worst thing ever for the first week. It gave me completely paralyzing panic attacks, where I would sit on the couch and shake and sweat and clench the arm rests but I was not able to do anything else. After that first week I evened out. About a year later it started giving me panic attacks again, which I figured out because I always got the attacks about 2 hours after taking it. So I was weaned off it.

My friend who has a pretty bad anxiety disorder tried it, and said it was just a weight loss pill for her.

I've never posted on the thread before. It feels kind of scary to just jump in. But here goes...

I was diagnosed with depression about 6 years ago, I saw a counselor for a while and things got a bit better. It's been 4ish years since I last saw her and things were relatively ok, there have been a few dark periods but nothing I couldn't handle. But recently things haven't been too good. It's funny, I always used to suffer from terrible and constant sadness, the problem I'm having at the moment is that I'm feeling nothing at all. I don't care about anything, I feel completely empty. And it's harder than the constant sadness.

Anyway, I didn't really plan to go into that. I just feel so guilty that I have the nerve to feel this way. I've suffered no great tragedy, I've had a fairly decent life, and it feels so self indulgent to say I'm depressed. And I know that's not how it works, I know my brain just isn't wired up quite right and that I should feel no more guilty about it than I would any other illness. But I do. And then I feel like I don't even deserve the diagnosis and I'm just being pathetic. I'm still pretty much functioning, there are people out there with debilitating depression. I feel guilty that I call myself depressed when there are people out there who are really suffering and I'm sitting round feeling sorry for myself and I just need to get the fork over it. Does that make sense?

Sorry, that was longer and ramblier than I planned. I lose the ability to use correct grammar when I'm writing about what's going on in my head.

That absolutely makes sense, eryn! Will you be able to talk to a counselor again? Mine said that my feelings of guilt were actually a symptom of depression. Don't feel like you need to apologize. Your feelings are valid!