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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 3:58 am 
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Anxiety levels are sky high today. I have so much to do before I leave tomorrow. I lost all yesterday because the accommodation I was going to fell through because the landlady is in hospital seriously ill. So I was in a flap trying to find somewhere then I was upset about how bad her situation is. I may have found somewhere but now I haven't heard from that person since yesterday so I am freaking out!

I know it is all based on definite problems that are very big and real and not my brain over analysing an issue and it is probably more stress than anxiety but still this does not feel good and I tend to physically shut down when this kind of thing happens and all I can manage is to sleep constantly but I don't have the time to.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 8:33 am 
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Oh no! I hope you manage to get things sorted.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 8:53 am 
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Nearly sorted but my anxiety levels are still climbing. I have so much to do but wish I could just crawl in to bed and sleep

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:57 pm 
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had to take Mr Moon's pills to manage work today. Shook a lot. Didn't smash anything. Didn't cuss anyone out. Took all my power not to puke and walk out.

Coworker asked if I was ok and tried to ask if I was ok. Told her things are ok, I'm just really tired and not feeling great. Worked really hard to not cry after.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckufckfufkfuffikff

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2016 1:47 am 
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Invented Vegan Meringue

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Hugs moon X

I'm nearly vomiting from the anxiety levels. I'm getting bitter too that I have to even leave because of all the crepe I've experienced in work over here.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:42 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Hugs to you both, daisychain and Moon. I'm sorry you're having rough times!

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2016 10:00 am 
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Thanks. I'm a lot better now. Once I was on the boat I settled down. Only having milder anxiety now. Actually, it is probably well within the just anxious range now rather than actual anxiety. The journey after the boat needed me to be calm and in control so it was exactly what I needed. Everyone else was worrying about me being tired but thanks to my anxiety brain things like that actual help me because I have to focus.

I've slept the most part of 30hours. I've not eaten much because I've been too tired to cook and shop but I will be eating this evening.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 10:01 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Update, I guess.

Saw my CPN (like a community nurse) who agreed I should wait to take the escitalopram until I next see the psych consultant, as he thinks the side effects will be hard to deal with and he's not sure why I was prescribed it anyway (he was at the appointment where I was prescribed it so it wasn't just me not understanding). Apparently that appointment should be sometime before next year, I've got to wait for it to come through.

As for therapy well the county CBT team has rejected me (again) and told me to go to the community therapy team. Literally exactly what happened a year ago. The community therapy team are only for minor problems and have a limit of 6 sessions. Last year they too rejected me and told me to go back to the county CBT team. My CPN agrees this is a complete joke but says he is sorry there is not much he can do about it. He says there is another therapy team he can refer me to but the waiting list is at least a year and there's no guarantee they will accept me.

So basically I am on my own, I get to see the consultant and the CPN every now and then to make sure I am not completely losing it but...otherwise nothing.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 1:34 pm 
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I'm giving my notice at work today because there are parts of job that I just can't manage with my social anxiety. But then the thought of giving my notice is causing me buckets more anxiety. I wish I could just leave a note and slink away and not have anyone acknowledge it or ask what I'm going to do next or any of that. I think after my last day I'm going to take a bit of time off. but then of course I have to find another job at some point (I have a bit of savings to last several months if I'm super frugal) basically I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I have the worst time making decisions because any level of uncertainty paralyzes me. ugh anxiety

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2016 6:53 pm 
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I'm sorry Anna Bee, that really sucks. I feel you though. I am trying super hard to not cry and be sick over having to go to work tomorrow. I am so exhausted and burnt out and I think I'm perilously close to the edge of giving notice myself.

I might have a lead on a job near my house but I haven't even spoken to the manager there yet so, I don't know. I'm too tired and frozen with fear to do anything.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2016 1:03 pm 
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Every single day when I go into work I'm really anxious until about eleven. I am down on my teaching hours this year and I have a buttfuckery of paperwork to do so I think it's just office dread. When I do the teaching part of my job, I'm happy.

But every morning I have to talk myself down from writing a letter of resignation...

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 2:45 am 
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Finally got through to the counselling programme my workplace contracts with last week, they very kindly gave me an emergency appointment because the medical stuff my dad is going through and all the other shiitake I've been putting off dealing with was threatening to crush me, and I saw a very nice, non-hippy-drippy counsellor yesterday. They only give 8 sessions though, so now I'm a bit anxious about what will happen if I need more! But, cross that bridge later, eh?

This morning woke up at 4am and started spiralling into feeling terrible (doom-laden mind, tight chest). The counsellor had recommended "Calm" app, which has guided meditations and body scans, so I did a couple of the free ones and listened to the ocean soundtrack and eventually managed to drift back off to sleep but I feel a bit hammered now.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 2:48 am 
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Gulliver wrote:
Every single day when I go into work I'm really anxious until about eleven. I am down on my teaching hours this year and I have a buttfuckery of paperwork to do so I think it's just office dread. When I do the teaching part of my job, I'm happy.

But every morning I have to talk myself down from writing a letter of resignation...


Do you think it's the physical layout of the office? I know I have a problem similar to the one you describe when there isn't enough space around my desk and I feel hemmed in. Would there be any option to change where you work when you're not teaching?

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 2:52 am 
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Moon wrote:
I'm sorry Anna Bee, that really sucks. I feel you though. I am trying super hard to not cry and be sick over having to go to work tomorrow. I am so exhausted and burnt out and I think I'm perilously close to the edge of giving notice myself.

I might have a lead on a job near my house but I haven't even spoken to the manager there yet so, I don't know. I'm too tired and frozen with fear to do anything.


Moon, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you're going through such a rough patch and I hope things get better fast.

I also wanted to thank you for acknowledging my post in the "Worst things" thread a few days ago, it made me feel better even though I didn't have the energy to reply at the time!

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 12:32 pm 
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So much free floating anxiety about everything. I just want to stay indoors at home all the time.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 3:28 pm 
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I'm starting my PhD soon (next week) and I'm really concerned about my anxiety making me seem rude? How do I interact with people in a friendly way without getting overwhelmed? I find it very hard to look people in the eye and small talk is like a foreign language to me, and I know a lot of people who have told me that they thought I was rude when they first met me, so I wondered if any fellow anxious folk had any tips! I want to make the right impression.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 1:04 pm 
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I just want to mention how proud I am of myself for coping with not only moving out of my house but moving country, sharing home with other people, starting a new job and a multitude of other things. I know the 3 days leading up to the move I had some intense meltdown/anxiety attacks but as soon as I got on the ferry I was cool and calm. a majority of the time I am happy and relaxed. I only had one near episode of crying and it was because I was having so much frustration with trying to open a bank account and I was exhausted from a few shifts of night duty.

The being able to go out in public and walk around without feeling like I have to be constantly looking around Incase I bump into people I know is doing wonders for my confidence. Today I took a long leisurely stroll around the crowded city centre with the dog and even chatted with strangers who wanted to say hello to the pooch. I actually feel like crying with relief!

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 1:15 pm 
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That is so wonderful to hear, DC. Moving to another country is one of the most stressful things a person can do and you are kicking arse at it.
Sounds like you are in a great place, you definitely should be proud of yourself.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 2:45 pm 
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Thank you. It goes to show how much of my issues were situational rather than my alleged vulnerability to mental illness.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 10:38 pm 
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I am having a Bad Time with anxiety rn and it's so freaking frustrating

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:03 am 
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Sorry boober. Me too.

Does anyone else marvel at those rare moments of only "mild" anxiety and think "this is almost what it must feel like to not have anxiety! MAKE IT STAY!!"


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 1:50 pm 
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Hugs to you both boober and vijita X

Vijita.... That's totally me right now! I'm totally marvelling at what it must be like for anxiety free people while I'm going through this anxiety free stage. I may have a good bit of stress at present but it's manageable and not anxiety.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 2:24 pm 
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I was hoping a change of scenery would lessen my anxiety, but I was wrong. Boo.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:17 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I managed to register at a new GP surgery and I want to make an appointment as I've got problems racking up but...it's just not happening. I don't know the system at this new GPs (do I have to ring at 8am? do I have to book in advance? what?) and it isn't clear at all on their website, and I really am not good at GP appointments and ugh.

Lately I have realised that the main form my anxiety takes these days is just pure avoidance. Like I'm anxious about going running after the one time it went badly, and so I'm just not even thinking about going running. All the things I need to do but make me anxious, my brain just puts in a little box and hides it under the bed. In a way it's better than having constant panic attacks over it but in a way...I know it's not good for me.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:27 am 
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vixki wrote:
I managed to register at a new GP surgery and I want to make an appointment as I've got problems racking up but...it's just not happening. I don't know the system at this new GPs (do I have to ring at 8am? do I have to book in advance? what?) and it isn't clear at all on their website, and I really am not good at GP appointments and ugh.

Lately I have realised that the main form my anxiety takes these days is just pure avoidance. Like I'm anxious about going running after the one time it went badly, and so I'm just not even thinking about going running. All the things I need to do but make me anxious, my brain just puts in a little box and hides it under the bed. In a way it's better than having constant panic attacks over it but in a way...I know it's not good for me.

Have they got an email address listed? If you don't want to ring them or ask at reception about how to make an appointment maybe you could send an email to the practice manager asking about how to book appointments?

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