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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:51 am 
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I have an anxiety disorder at the best of times. Like, really. A part of my life is just accepting that my body panics a lot, even when my life is great. But right now, with job interviews and no money and no routine and just...I feel like I'm falling and I can't grab onto anything to stop myself from falling. Right now my anxiety is so big I wouldn't even begin to know how tame it, even with several years of therapy under my belt.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:56 am 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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PP, I'm sorry. My anxiety gets so much worse when I don't have a routine, so I feel you. This summer my anxiety came back with a vengeance because I wasn't working much. I dread summer vacation, fall break, spring break, and winter break now that I'm working jobs in the school system. What about those of us that really need the routine of getting up and going to work, school system? (Maybe this actually belongs in the small problems thread.)

I hope you find a way to tame that beast, soon. I know that feeling and it is painful.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:22 pm 
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My anxiety is getting so bad. I lost one of my readers for my Master's Research Paper and I have to finish in a month. I can't handle the stress right now. I don't sleep. I'm trying so hard to keep on track, but it's hard.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:49 am 
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Impressive boner
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I'm really anxious at the moment. I have a confrontation to deal with and keep reminding myself that I've done nothing wrong, but still feel really bad. It's affecting my sleep, appetite, etc. I just want it to be over.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:15 pm 
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People keep going on planes! I know the takeoff and landing times of the flights that my friends and family members take and I spend the entire flight time in an anxiety state. My mom is on a plane right now and I know I will be freaking out until she calls me from her destination. Why can't everyone just stay at home at all times?


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 5:23 pm 
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raspberrycomplaint wrote:
People keep going on planes! I know the takeoff and landing times of the flights that my friends and family members take and I spend the entire flight time in an anxiety state. My mom is on a plane right now and I know I will be freaking out until she calls me from her destination. Why can't everyone just stay at home at all times?


Basically, anytime anyone I know is traveling in any way, I worry the entire time. I generally bug people to text or call me as soon as they are safe at their destination. I know it's silly because people can get into accidents anytime, but thinking about that just makes everything worse. I already worry about everyone way too much.

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55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:16 am 
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Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
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Rough night last night, always seems like when it's time to go to sleep my mind just wants to run wild. It's like I have two lists if what I need to get done: schoolwork and knitting projects (which are obviously more fun, but shouldn't take precedence over school). And I've been especially bad perfectionist-wise with my knitting because it's like something in my life that's stable and really good and makes me feel good about myself. And so gifts that I'm not as keen on need to be done for my own pride, but it just ups the workload and competes with other things I've promised. And then there's two weeks of school before Thanksgiving break and then one week left of the semester after that, and I'll have to go for interviews soon for an internship for next semester and blah, that scares the fork out of me too. It's hard to focus on any one thing because I'm going in fifty directions at once.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 11:22 am 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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I don't know if this was anxiety or normal behavior, but I accidentally left the coffee pot on at T's house this morning and in the car on the way downtown, I told him that I had done so. He was like, 'No big deal, it'll just smell bad', but I became convinced I was going to burn his house down, so when I got to my car I drove all the way back to his place, through marathon traffic, to turn it off. I told him that I would just worry about it all day if I didn't, so I guess it was worth spending time and gas to ease my mind.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 5:07 pm 
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I really, really want to go to a reading/book signing thing this Wednesday for Allie Brosch's new book. I don't have anyone I could go with though, and the thought of me going alone is making me want to cry. Big group+no one I know=worst nightmare. I was about to buy a ticket for it, but went into complete panic mode. I swear now that my general anxiety is manageable (like for real guys, for the first time in my life I don't feel constantly on edge 24/7), my social anxiety has just shot through the roof.

Would it be bad to take a lorazopam to be able to get through it? Probably.....

(Kidding guys, so not taking it to go to this).


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 5:23 pm 
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I've been hair pulling like mad for the last few days in the evenings. I'm not feeling particularly wired and anxious at present but I know this is a symptom of it. I'm worried about giving myself a bald spot. Maybe if I get my hair cut shorter again I'll stop.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 7:38 pm 
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Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
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And now I'm stressing over something that might now even happen. I'm in a group project with 8 other people, and we have something due on Tuesday. We need to finalize things tomorrow and I agreed to meet up and help put things together. Now it seems like this won't happen until after 5:30, and now one of the members suggested we meet in a more central location, in the city, instead of at school. I don't like the city and I don't like driving in the city. But it's much worse at night. I just don't drive well at night. It would be fine if I was just driving to school at that time, since it's a pretty easy drive. But to go on highways and navigate unfamiliar areas in the dark is freaking me out. I wish I didn't say I could go.


And on a somewhat related note, I'm just mad at myself in general. What if people are already so tired me because of my anxiety and depression? What if all I'm doing is making excuses and taking the easy way out? So much unnecessary guilt.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:23 am 
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sweet_potato wrote:
...

And on a somewhat related note, I'm just mad at myself in general. What if people are already so tired me because of my anxiety and depression? What if all I'm doing is making excuses and taking the easy way out? So much unnecessary guilt.

Well, that's really unlikely. Most people are much more aware of their own feelings than those of others, so they probably don't register that you are anxious or depressed at all, unless you're wearing a t-shirt announcing it or something.

And if people are aware of it, they're just as likely to want to try to help you get better. If they were tired of it that's on them to do something about, not a reason for you to avoid the situation.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 10:30 am 
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Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
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Yes, I do agree with what you're saying, and I was talking about the second option. I'm just perceiving some people as being less patient and it makes me question my trust and decisions to open up about things.

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When people ask about my plans for after graduation: "PhD in knitting blanket forts, bisque!" -Mars


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:24 am 
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Simply_Love wrote:
I really, really want to go to a reading/book signing thing this Wednesday for Allie Brosch's new book. I don't have anyone I could go with though, and the thought of me going alone is making me want to cry. Big group+no one I know=worst nightmare. I was about to buy a ticket for it, but went into complete panic mode. I swear now that my general anxiety is manageable (like for real guys, for the first time in my life I don't feel constantly on edge 24/7), my social anxiety has just shot through the roof.

Would it be bad to take a lorazopam to be able to get through it? Probably.....

(Kidding guys, so not taking it to go to this).

Why not, if the medication was prescribed to you? It can help you do something you want to do, there's no shame in that.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:22 pm 
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Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
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She's doing a book tour then? Is there a schedule posted somewhere?

Fortunately, the driving in the dark thing wasn't necessary. Instead, 7/9 of us worked through edits via a Google doc. That was a crazy experience I never hope to have to repeat

I had two hours worth of meetings today, first with the internship coordinator and my advisor, and then with my advisor alone. My advisor is the greatest person on the planet. She knows a lot of what I've been going through, she listens, and she just gets it. I am emotionally spent right now but am just so thankful for her and always feel better after chatting.

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When people ask about my plans for after graduation: "PhD in knitting blanket forts, bisque!" -Mars


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:17 pm 
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Kiddo wrote:
Simply_Love wrote:
I really, really want to go to a reading/book signing thing this Wednesday for Allie Brosch's new book. I don't have anyone I could go with though, and the thought of me going alone is making me want to cry. Big group+no one I know=worst nightmare. I was about to buy a ticket for it, but went into complete panic mode. I swear now that my general anxiety is manageable (like for real guys, for the first time in my life I don't feel constantly on edge 24/7), my social anxiety has just shot through the roof.

Would it be bad to take a lorazopam to be able to get through it? Probably.....

(Kidding guys, so not taking it to go to this).

Why not, if the medication was prescribed to you? It can help you do something you want to do, there's no shame in that.


It makes me a complete zombie. Pretty much all I can manage when I'm on it is sleeping.

And she is! I think the dates (or the link to the dates) is on her Facebook page.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:42 pm 
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I just stopped taking my medication, and I have been crying a lot without it. I'm not sad, just feeling feelings. Some people in my life keep bringing up the fact that I don't take my medicine anymore, scapegoating it in a way, to explain my behavior. Like any time I get mad. I feel like everyone gets mad sometimes. I went from empowered to discouraged so fast.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:33 am 
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What sort of anxiety is this: i bought someone a plant for a gift, just to be nice. not for any reason, however it is not the exact plant they said they mentioned that they liked. so now i'm super worried that they won't like it and i'm terrified of giving it to them. this is dumb. i know it's dumb. it's a gift, but i'm super worried she is going to tell me she hates it and laugh at me for giving it to her.

Most likely with some encouragement i will just give it to her, but i hate feeling this sense of total panic over giving a gift.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:54 am 
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You guys, I am so, so, so sad over these holidays. There's a few minor reasons why that is: I won't be seeing my sisters and parents, I work six days this week and have a huge pressure there on me, my husband misses his deceased parents so intensely over xmas, as do I, and I can never ever seem to recreate a tradition as happy as the Dec. 25's he had with them, I am so tired and lethargic and can't even bear to sit down and write Christmas cards after work, and my job is causing me to put off dealing with some financial stuff that I really have to face, as well as some minor-ish health stuff (I know I have a bunch of cavities and I have no insurance, my doctor has referred me for counselling but I have no insurance for psychologists), and boo whine whine whine I just feel so crappy. I really really really hope I can shake it because I am tired of going to bed depressed and waking up worse. We are trying to do stuff like go skating at these beautiful gardens we live by on the 25th and also just try to spend some time together doing silly things such as play muppet Yahtzee whilst watching SNL reruns, and that was easier before Jay's sadness caught up with him too, but now even the cats appear to be moping about.

I just feel really shitty about myself and I'm not asking for hugs but please tell me I'm not moving into a horrible depression and I will feel like a better person in the new year.

Why the anxiety thread? Because the most intense cause of my anxiety is feeling selfishly depressed.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:15 pm 
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Oh, vijita, I was just coming here to post something similar. I think that the lack of sun is finally getting to me, and I've been feeling pretty depressed as well. And the anxiety is just through the roof. I was planning today to buy a supplement we sell at the HFS that's supposed to be for anxiety (GABA), but I just realized that I can't take it today because I don't know how I'll react to it and I'll be at work. Same thing tomorrow, and then we have plans for Xmas eve, and then it's Xmas and I don't want to take it then because what if it makes me sick or something, and then I'll be working again, then driving and spending time with my family, then going to Nashville for the weekend. All of this is awesome stuff that will hopefully be keeping me busy enough that I won't be feeling quite so anxious (being occupied doing things really helps). But the thought that I have to wait at least a week before taking this stuff is making me even more anxious, because I just want to feel better NOW.

I keep telling myself that it's ok, that I'm going to be ok, deep breathing, trying to be distracted, but there's this constant racing of thoughts in the back of my head and my chest feels tight and my heart is racing…I spent my entire morning in bed, alternately napping and just staring into space, just so I didn't have to get up and deal with the world. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like T can tell and he's going to be upset with me for acting weird (not going to happen, probably, but my anxiety feels like a total weakness that I need to hide so that people think I am strong and awesome all the time). I just don't know what else to do right now. I hate this feeling, and I hate feeling like I'm just trying to make it through the day so that I can go to bed and not have to feel things anymore.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:43 pm 
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You know what? fork it. I just read up on it, and it doesn't seem like GABA is going to make me totally forking sick or anything, so I'm going to give it a go, in a low dosage. The thing I read says to take it with B6 and magnesium for maximum helpfulness. I'll report back on whether or not it helps, maybe it would be an option for some others of you with anxiety that can't go to a doctor or take prescriptions for whatever reason (my reasons are financial, as well as having taken just about every med for anxiety/depression out there in the past and all of them had horrible side effects).

If anyone is interested, this article explains about GABA and links to another article that describes the different types of anxiety. GABA supposedly only helps with Pure Anxiety, which from the description, sounds like what I have. I may have a touch of the over focused kind, but mostly I fit into the pure category.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:25 am 
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I had a perfectly nice day: long day at work that was busy but not insane, came home and shared a nice dinner and wine with hubby, the neighbour and my dad's gf, but right before bed let dad get me worked up and now I need to go to sleep but I'm so anxious my chest hurts. Let the last 10 minutes of my day ruin the whole thing and if I don't sleep tomorrow will be ruined too.

Merry Christmas merp merp merp.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 12:13 am 
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my anxiety has been pretty bad this week. i started shaking at one point because i felt rushed...:(

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 2:33 pm 
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I went to a gym for the first time in my life last week! Going to new places always causes me some level of anxiety, just because I don't know what to expect or where things are. Some of them are just tiny things to get over, like a new grocery store, that's something I can do without even blinking. But with gyms I get that whole 'they're all gonna laugh at you' mentality, like I don't know how to work the equipment and where is the bathroom and oh god how many people's eyeline will I be in as I huff and puff.

Brian's work has a wellness center, and spouses get in free too, so we went together on Thursday and Brian even did the elliptical with me even though that's not something he normally does. The good news is that the ellipticals and treadmills are in one corner so you face in, the only machine that directly faces back is one step machine. But the running track goes around the outside of the whole thing (it's not a big gym), so while I was waiting for Brian to change (I picked him up from work already changed), I just walked around the track and the longer it took, the more my anxiety rose. I ducked into the bathroom/locker room twice to bring it back down. I just felt really exposed walking around the outside of the mostly open room.

But I did it, band aid is ripped off, I will be fine in the future.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:49 pm 
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Well done mbm x

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