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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:38 pm 
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Drinks Wild Tofurkey
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You won't miss it

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:04 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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Buddy of mine had fox spirit poisoning.

All he did was boost his wind intake and it cleared right up.

His penis still hasn't grown back yet, though.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:13 pm 
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Level 7 Vegan
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Fox spirits are the WORST!

Spirits that get you drunk are the best.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:54 pm 
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Naked Under Apron
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smoothie wrote:
i'm pretty sure someone sent me an email about how to fix this problem! you want me to forward it to you?

Guaranteed to work, and not prescription needed. There's nothing shady about it at all!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:47 pm 
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Has Isa on speed dial

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Location: Planet Earth until I find a bigger playground
y'know, it is usually the increasing fat pad over the pubic bone that makes it seem the penis is shrinking.
but there are people who love smallies!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:31 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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FootFace wrote:
Buddy of mine had fox spirit poisoning.

All he did was boost his wind intake and it cleared right up.


Oh, _INTAKE_. I increased my wind OUTPUT and not only did it not work to fix the ol' utensil, but I couldn't get close enough to anyone to ask for help.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:31 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I was sure this was going to be a brian thread.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:43 pm 
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rowdily playing checkers
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truepeacenik wrote:
fat pad

truepeacenik wrote:
smallies

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:55 pm 
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WELFARIST!
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I went and googled "penis atrophy" at the service of getting to the bottom of this for you, mumbles, and I wound up reading a thread or two on a Penis Forum (yes, a Penis Forum exists. Not that I'm the least bit surprised in this technological era of wizardry in which we live) and it seems that excess testosterone can cause this, if you happen to be taking steroids.

And then, for the last twenty minutes since my visit to the Penis Forum, I've been brainstorming names that I could use were I to sign up and begin posting on the PF. When I should be working. THANKS FOR THAT. <3

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:28 pm 
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Tell us more about this penis forum, ambassador.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:12 pm 
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WELFARIST!
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Adah wrote:
Tell us more about this penis forum, ambassador.

I googled "penile atrophy" and this PEGym forum came up on my search with a Penis Forum. It seems to be an enhancement thing. They're talking about exercises? Or there's a link to exercises. I'm still on my work puter so I dare not click.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:05 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
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http://www.pegym.com/

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:51 pm 
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Has Isa on speed dial

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Location: Planet Earth until I find a bigger playground
or:
altpenis.com

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:29 am 
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Hearts James Cromwell

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 6:03 am
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Is a witch stealing your penis?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:23 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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seitanicverses wrote:
And then, for the last twenty minutes since my visit to the Penis Forum, I've been brainstorming names that I could use were I to sign up and begin posting on the PF. When I should be working. THANKS FOR THAT. <3


What did you come up with?

Lilguy?
RockyHorror?
TheICBM?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:36 pm 
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I'd be TheKnobgoblin. Or maybe just Knobgoblin? Or maybe even KnobGobblin'? Wait, that kind of make it sound like I enjoy performing fellatio, which is a half-truth, at best.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:44 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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Big Rod McPenisgenitals!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:10 pm 
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WELFARIST!
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FootFace wrote:
seitanicverses wrote:
And then, for the last twenty minutes since my visit to the Penis Forum, I've been brainstorming names that I could use were I to sign up and begin posting on the PF. When I should be working. THANKS FOR THAT. <3


What did you come up with?

Lilguy?
RockyHorror?
TheICBM?

First, I came up with "priapismic cataclysm", but too many syllables for the tongue to trip over, too pretentious and mostly a joke only a urologist could appreciate, so I went simpler with:

"Engeorgement" -> which would be perfect, were I a guy named "George"

another possibility-> "Errection"

McStiffy/Cockswain....and I forget what else. It's been a couple of days since that brainstorm...

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 5:20 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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Engeorgement or Engeorged would be great.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:04 pm 
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Chip Strong
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You could try silicone injections.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:05 pm 
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Fair trade, organic mistletoe
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just mumbles wrote:
I'd be TheKnobgoblin. Or maybe just Knobgoblin? Or maybe even KnobGobblin'? Wait, that kind of make it sound like I enjoy performing fellatio, which is a half-truth, at best.

Which half?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:19 pm 
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Wears Pleather Undies
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Maybe you're getting taller and it's just farther away...


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:20 pm 
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Had sex with a vampire that sparkles.
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Nah, I'd put my money on the fat pad.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:33 pm 
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Wears Pleather Undies
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Fee wrote:
Nah, I'd put my money on the fat pad.


I have a personal policy that when the day comes that I can't see it anymore, I stop eating until it reappears. There isn't much else that I am willing to wage a hunger strike for...


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 Post subject: Re: I'm pretty sure my penis is shrinking
PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:27 pm 
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rowdily playing checkers
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I'm at peace with my shrinking penis now, everybody. Thanks for your help.

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