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 Post subject: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:14 am 
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So I've always had my mother's phone voice (leading to many hi-laaarious hijinks with long-distance boyfriends :/) and a strong resemblance in the face. Whatever.

This week I hit a new low point. I just bought my first ever Dr. Scholl's corn remover. I officially have my mother's feet. At the same age my mother was when she had me- it's like my body has decided to go into mom chrysallis despite my decision to not be a mom.

So I present... the judgment-free "why am I turning into my Mom/Dad?" lamentation thread. Cause the small signs of aging are irritating enough without them needing to be all Freudian, too. Have at it, ye misshapen freaks.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 5:52 am 
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I actually wouldn't mind having my mom looking back from the mirror; Mom's cool, and carrying her 70 years well. She got this eternal impish youthfulness about her that I hope I've inherited. What's irking me is having my paternal grandmother looking back at me. She wasn't a very nice woman, so it always upset me as a kid when people told me I look liked her. Now I realize I'm getting the same lines and wrinkles that she had. If I start wearing knee high nylons rolled down to my ankle, please, someone take me out back and shoot me.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 6:25 am 
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i have always been my mom's clone, and now that we both have the same haircut and taste in clothes (and wrinkle pattern, and rosacea) it's kind of eerie. but my mom is awesome, and if i have to be just like anyone in my family, she is the best candidate (and probably the healthiest to boot, so even better. although i am afraid i am going to have her weird foot problems and have to have my toes redone like she did-- SHUDDER)

what scares me is when i see my father looking back at me in the mirror. it's only when i'm upset or angry, or yelling or losing my temper and realize i'm saying EXACTLY what he would say.... didn't realize how few memories i have of him being happy (and my mother is a saint who never got mad or yelled) so all my angry/anxious/depressive mannerisms are all from him. Scary shiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 8:25 am 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I've only physically seen my mom looking back at me once. It's really weird in a way because it was the time I had a really bad allergic reaction and my eyes were swollen and puffy. I took pictures for the doctor and when I showed mom she was like "wow, you look so much like me." It was really awkward because that picture looked nothing like me at all because I was so puffy...how do you respond to that?

Anyway, where I really see her is in all the horrid health crepe I have facing me. Proneness to depression and asthma are the big two but there are several other small (or not so small) things, too. Yay, genetics!


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 8:45 am 
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I've not yet seen my Dad in the mirror, but everyone I know who meets him goes on about how much I look like him. Which kind of annoys me because I don't think he's a very good looking man. But I guess I'm also biased, I kind of struggle to feel fond of him, so it may cloud how I see him. I'm annoyed too because I got his face apparantly, but not his hair. It's nice and curly. My hair is pin straight. I'm getting off-topic.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 8:55 am 
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Oh man, there were a few times in the last coupe years where I would say something and realize I sounded exactly like my mother. Terrifying. I have also always had the same body shape as her. Then, I got pregnant and I feel like I have changed a lot, first my body is not the same, which is so weird. But, more importantly I am no longer so negative and judgmental.


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 9:31 am 
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I find I look more like my Mom or Dad depending on the angle and/or expression on my face. People used to tell me I look like my Mom when I was a kid. Now that I'm getting older, I'm being told I resemble my Aunt Emily.

I've always felt I look more like my Dad on the whole because I most physically/facially resemble my half-brother (Dad's sperm, another mother) more than any of my full sibs. My Dad sort of looked like *Robert De Niro in The Godfather Part II when he was younger and then David Straithern in The River Wild in middler age. At least when I saw those actors in those movies, I said "Daddy!" because I really didn't know my Dad well, mostly know him from photographs and rare visits maybe twice yearly visits sitting across from him in dim steakhouses in childhood. So yeah, when I look in a mirror, it's mostly a stranger lookin' back at me so I figure I'm Daddish?

*There was also a period in the seventies where I thought my brother resembled Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver so I think Bobby D. might be the milkman/mailman in this scenario.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:34 am 
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I used to look just like my mom, but then she had a facelift. Now my mom doesn't even look like my mom! It makes me kind of sad.

We still have more or less the same hair.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:54 am 
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I have my dad's (English) teeth, and even six years of orthodontics didn't quite fix them. I also have thin hair like my mum. My sisters both have huge thick heads of hair, and the eldest has perfect teeth, so I got the short end of the stick. I also have both parents' lousy vision. And my mum's very round face, which generally makes me look ten pounds heavier in photos. But I mean...I really don't care. I'd love healthier hair, but it is what it is.


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:13 am 
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The older I get, the more I look like my dad. Which is kinda a bummer, as I am a lady.

My sister and my mom both started getting grey hair when they had their first kids (at 20 and 17 respectively). So I guess it shouldn't be surprising to me to be an early greyer, but I was surprised that mine started going right after I had my first kid (at 26). What the hell, is that a thing??

All the ladies on my moms side of the family has horrible teeth. I remember we had a PPK thread on the subject and it showed up somewhere annoying like let Them Eat Meat... Buuuuut I'm pretty sure my diet has very little to do with my teeth as my mom and sister (who eat plenty of animal products) have similar but worse teeth. We found out recently that it may be related to an auto immune disorder that again basically all of us have.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:17 am 
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My husband has become my father in law.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 12:35 pm 
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torque wrote:
what scares me is when i see my father looking back at me in the mirror. it's only when i'm upset or angry, or yelling or losing my temper and realize i'm saying EXACTLY what he would say.... didn't realize how few memories i have of him being happy (and my mother is a saint who never got mad or yelled) so all my angry/anxious/depressive mannerisms are all from him. Scary shiitake.

Me too! My dad isn't angry all the time anymore since he retired but most of my childhood memories of him were of him losing his temper about some stupid shiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:46 pm 
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Ruby Rose wrote:
My husband has become my father in law.

Mike looks so much like his dad, it's kinda scary. His dad is pudgier, but they have a very similar face. OK, Mike is better looking too. But his sisters (twins) look more like his mum.

I have my mom's arms - I kinda freak out about it when I see them in a mirror. My mom's are more tanned because she lives in TX and walks everywhere and therefore is exposed to a lot more sun than I am, but otherwise they're nearly identical. I probably have moles in the same places. I have my dad's chipmunk cheeks that swallow my eyes when I smile and make me look chubby even when I'm not. Other than that, I don't really know who I look like. My hair is different from everyone else in my family - I have no idea where it came from. Everyone else has thick, dark brown hair (well, except my brother, who's now bald), but I have super thin, stick-straight, dark blonde (well, last time it wasn't coloured) hair.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:14 pm 
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I sometimes behave as though someone had taken my dad's brain and put it in my skull, and I often don't even notice I'm doing it.

coldandsleepy wrote:
My sister and my mom both started getting grey hair when they had their first kids (at 20 and 17 respectively). So I guess it shouldn't be surprising to me to be an early greyer, but I was surprised that mine started going right after I had my first kid (at 26). What the hell, is that a thing??

Hair loss after pregnancy might make the new greys more apparent.


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:23 pm 
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In physical appearance I don't resemble my parents - my mum is 20 cm shorter than me and my dad is 20 cm taller (they must have looked hilarious together), and my sister got my mum's facial structure while I follow more my dad, but being a girl the resemblance is limited.
However, I've noticed that the older I get, the more I act like my dad, with whom I lived from 14 till 25. I used to be the messiest teenager, never picked up a thing if I could avoid it, etc etc etc, driving my dad nuts as he's one of the most organized and orderly people ever. Now I jump to do the dishes the moment I'm done eating, everything has its place, and I actually enjoy cleaning up. I am actually really really irritated by my boyfriend's lack of organization skills and sense of cleaning. Now if I could only become the sports nuts my dad is...

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 3:15 am 
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I look very much like my mother, to the extent that strangers will approach me in public and say "excuse me, are you _____'s daughter?". Healthwise, I seem to have inherited the dodgy bits from every member of my family - my mum's arthritis, my dad's eczema, my grandmother's weird foot problems.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:47 am 
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rachell37 wrote:
Ruby Rose wrote:
My husband has become my father in law.

Mike looks so much like his dad, it's kinda scary. His dad is pudgier, but they have a very similar face. OK, Mike is better looking too. But his sisters (twins) look more like his mum.

I have my mom's arms - I kinda freak out about it when I see them in a mirror. My mom's are more tanned because she lives in TX and walks everywhere and therefore is exposed to a lot more sun than I am, but otherwise they're nearly identical. I probably have moles in the same places. I have my dad's chipmunk cheeks that swallow my eyes when I smile and make me look chubby even when I'm not. Other than that, I don't really know who I look like. My hair is different from everyone else in my family - I have no idea where it came from. Everyone else has thick, dark brown hair (well, except my brother, who's now bald), but I have super thin, stick-straight, dark blonde (well, last time it wasn't coloured) hair.

Chipmunk cheeks! That is a phrase my mum uses and I'd never heard anyone else use it.

My mum says I look exactly like my dad. Very flattering as he has a mustache and is going bald, while I'm female! I don't think I look like either of my parents, but I'm not old enough yet to be getting the same wrinkle patterns, so that might change.


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 8:22 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
The older I get, the more I look like my dad. Which is kinda a bummer, as I am a lady.


It may not be so bad. When I used to wait tables I would have families come in and there would be beautiful older teens who looked exactly like their dads and nothing like mom. I remember one family in particular amazed me because this was so, and dad was not really attractive yet the daughter was near-model gorgeous and they looked exactly alike. Being fascinated by humans as I am I found this so interesting. But yeah, lots of really girly-looking ladies somehow look like their masculine-looking dads.


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:08 am 
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My mom and I look really similar. Same height, size, hair color/length. But she has a better body because she works out a lot, less gray hair because she dyes, better teeth, darker skin, and a prettier face. So like the better looking version of me.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:57 am 
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I notice that I look like my mom when I am tired and have no makeup on and feel like shiitake. That's depressing.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:17 pm 
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We're very similar looking physically, but the older I get, the more I hear her words coming out of my mouth and notice me doing her mannerisms.

Proof! Weird that I couldn't find any recent photos of us together, but here are separate photos with our significant others.

Image

Image


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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:21 pm 
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i am a carbon copy of my dad in terms of everything besides looks.
i hear "you are definitely your father's daughter" all the time :-D
people tell me i look like my mom although i only see a little bit of it.
i had major jaw surgery about a year a a half ago so my face did change a little so i think i look less like her now.

i do think i am turning into her though which drives me insane.
my mom is very anal and is the type that while you are making a sandwich she will be cleaning up your crumbs before you even finish.
i am totally that person now. i hate myself for it but i am so anal and a neatfreak now.

i also have a deep desire to have a plan for everything which is totally my mom.
drives me nuts when im around my in-laws because they couldnt come up a with a plan to save their lives. they are very go-with-the-flow.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:34 pm 
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I mostly hear my father's voice coming from my mouth, in phrasing, approach, everything. I like him enough that it's not THAT bad, but it's kind of weird.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:51 pm 
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I look just like my paternal grandmother. She was beautiful up until the last day of her life, so I don't mind that. I have nothing physical that looks like my mom except maybe my body shape, but some things about me personality wise are so much like her it's starting to scare me. While I have some of the qualities about her that I really respect and admire, there are other qualities that I don't like e.g. the inability to ask for help when I need it, always putting myself last, not saying no when I should and then playing the martyr.

It's actually funny because I have a small group of women who I've known my entire life and we're all slowly turning into our moms and we talk about how much we want to break the cycle! lol... My friend with the crazy mom is crazy. My friend with the holistic health mom is a doctor, etc.

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 Post subject: Re: Why is my parent looking back at me from the mirror?
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:53 pm 
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If you like up pictures of me, my mom, and her mom at around 17 you'd think we look a lot alike, but there's enough of my dads genes in there and the fact that i've made much better lifestyle choices than my mom that the chances of me morphing into her are slim. At least I hope I don't magically grow a jheri curl perm at 35.

Oh shiitake, I did think of something. Thanks for the chin hairs mom, i'm really enjoying ripping those stubborn forkers out. And is low self esteem genetic?

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