One of the comments:
Alternate between folding his penis into an origami owl, and trying to drown it like a mangy kitten in a bowl full of melted chocolate. Once the penis is sufficiently owl-shaped and/or conditioned to be terrified of chocolate, play loud Sousa marching music at it while slapping it rhythmically with a fly swatter. If these ministrations haven't brought your man to the highest heights of pleasure, finish off the sexy fun by super-gluing Fruit Loops to his shaft and mailing photos of your art project to Aunt Edna.
I tell you, I'm a goddamn whiz at coming up with helpful tips for snazzing up one's sex-life. Cosmo basically needs to hire me, like, right the hell now.http://jezebel.com/5919206/cosmos-44-mo ... s-sex-tips