Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Now I really want Tofulish to do me.

I'm adding my voice to the chorus of it sounds like you and your partner may want to slow it down to give you time to relax, become aroused and let your vagina lengthen and expand.

There is a totally cool multi-orgasm technique where basically your partner starts of massaging your back and shoulders in a single direction (start at the shoulders work down the back then back to the shoulders down the back), then moves to the arms and then the legs and really massages the female partner until she is completely relaxed. Then you flip over and start on her front. You use a grounding touch (so going into the muscles) only at first to relax the person and the male masseur asks permission for every stage, and tries to remain present to loving his partner. The theory is that most women live in a state of being tense and ready to protect themselves because we live in a world where women feel themselves to be in danger and always conscious of threats, so it takes a while to take down all our guards.

Once the woman is relaxed, and after asking permission, her partner moves on to an arousing touch, with light fingertips, which ends up bringing a ton of blood to every part touched. And then he moves on to the breasts and genitals. Again, there is a ton of foreplay before it goes to P in V, and its kind of amazing how many orgasms you can have once you're really really relaxed....

I sincerely hope you're not enduring this and putting pressure on yourself to enjoy it to please someone else. I'd agree with what AmandaMelanie said about having an orgasm, or at least getting very close, before you try again. And keep the external stimulation going when you do. Toys aren't cheating if they help you build or maintain arousal and I recently saw a study that found that women who use them have better sexual function and satisfaction (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19453881). I also think P in V is somewhat overrated and don't like referring to the myriad of other options as foreplay. It's not that it's not fun if you're into it and have figured out how to make it work for you, but for many female-bodied people the magical penis alone won't do the trick. You can reach all the sensitive spots with a finger or two, so that's all you need if you want to experiment with g-spot (by which I just mean the internal bits of the clitoris) stimulation.

Second Girlfriend had this problem, so we just did other stuff, like rowdily playing checkers, or contemplatively playing go.

I trust I am the male partner in this equation? I will let you know that I generally suck at oral.

I may have missed it but do you actually get really aroused?

Sex has never ever been pleasurable for me. Ever. At the best it doesn't hurt. At the worst it is excruciating. I'm at the point about 8 years later where I realize it's just one of those things that won't happen for me. Hopefully the same won't be said for you.

Did you ever pensively play mah jong?

!!!
I feel like I could've written this post myself, although I've only been sexually active a little bit over a year. Nothing feels sexually pleasurable to me, and I've definitely never had an orgasm.

Well, you could get one of those tongue shaped vibes.

I'm adding my voice to the chorus of it sounds like you and your partner may want to slow it down to give you time to relax, become aroused and let your vagina lengthen and expand.

There is a totally cool multi-orgasm technique where basically your partner starts of massaging your back and shoulders in a single direction (start at the shoulders work down the back then back to the shoulders down the back), then moves to the arms and then the legs and really massages the female partner until she is completely relaxed. Then you flip over and start on her front. You use a grounding touch (so going into the muscles) only at first to relax the person and the male masseur asks permission for every stage, and tries to remain present to loving his partner. The theory is that most women live in a state of being tense and ready to protect themselves because we live in a world where women feel themselves to be in danger and always conscious of threats, so it takes a while to take down all our guards.

Once the woman is relaxed, and after asking permission, her partner moves on to an arousing touch, with light fingertips, which ends up bringing a ton of blood to every part touched. And then he moves on to the breasts and genitals. Again, there is a ton of foreplay before it goes to P in V, and its kind of amazing how many orgasms you can have once you're really really relaxed....

Now I have a good reason that he should rub the shiitake out of me!

I was this way until I was 21, so...it can change, if you meet exactly the right kind of person?

But, but... (to state the obvious) you don't need another person!

The other person is necessary for me. If he's not around I don't feel the slightest urge to be sexual, by myself or with anyone else.