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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:05 pm 
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supercarrot wrote:
i always feel weird if they ask "what do you do for fun?" because it seems like they're always asking for suggestions of what to do nearby, and obvi, i'm not the best person to ask that.

When I ask people "what do you do for fun" it's because it's an umbrella question that can include hobbies, general interests, sports, and other activities.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 6:50 pm 
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I never know how to answer the what do you do for fun question. "Umm...sit at home by myself and enjoy my solitude" doesn't seem to cut it. Made it pretty hard when I was trying online dating.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:04 pm 
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My response is something along the lines of "sitting at home, petting my cats"

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:05 pm 
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On the convo thing with strangers, I have no freaking clue. I rely on the other person or other people if its a group setting. Food always comes up though! I guess because people normally gather over food. But then that leads to talking about veganism which can be less than fun depending on the other party. I dont like making a big deal about myself so I hate talking about being vegan. People are full of questions and I dont like the attention.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:11 pm 
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sweet_potato wrote:
I never know how to answer the what do you do for fun question. "Umm...sit at home by myself and enjoy my solitude" doesn't seem to cut it. Made it pretty hard when I was trying online dating.


This is now my life.

"What's up? What are you doing?"

"Sitting quietly."

The boys come running. Believe.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:09 pm 
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I literally just laughed out loud from that :)

And GraciaKai, I'm the same way. I don't like drawing attention to myself and vegan talk is plain uncomfortable. Just let me eat my noms in peace and don't make a huge point about it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:18 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
sweet_potato wrote:
I never know how to answer the what do you do for fun question. "Umm...sit at home by myself and enjoy my solitude" doesn't seem to cut it. Made it pretty hard when I was trying online dating.


This is now my life.

"What's up? What are you doing?"

"Sitting quietly."

The boys come running. Believe.


+1

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:16 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
The boys come running. Believe.


The boys come walking. Quietly. With hands folded. Giving you soulful eyes. Which you return if you have the energy and the interest, and if you don't... baby, they understand.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:49 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
The boys come running. Believe.


The boys come walking. Quietly. With hands folded. Giving you soulful eyes. Which you return if you have the energy and the interest, and if you don't... baby, they understand.


Ha! That would be perfect!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:58 am 
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GraciaKai wrote:
On the convo thing with strangers, I have no freaking clue. I rely on the other person or other people if its a group setting. Food always comes up though! I guess because people normally gather over food. But then that leads to talking about veganism which can be less than fun depending on the other party. I dont like making a big deal about myself so I hate talking about being vegan. People are full of questions and I dont like the attention.


Yes to this, a million times over.

If food doesn't come up I either like to go to music, because most people like music and I have an eclectic enough taste that I can probably relate to and hold a conversation about something they like, or I try and ask a question relevant to why I am even talking to this person. Ie, if its a work thing, something about work (exciting!) if its a mutual friend, something about the friend. A lot of times once you can get a conversation started, it can easily go to other topics. If it doesn't, then I got nothin' and anxiety kicks in.

Another phone hater here, BTW.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:03 am 
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For those of you who wear headphones at work. Do people just start talking to you before you have a chance to take them out our is that just me?

I don't wear them a lot but if I'm really busy and strapped for time and want to be left alone I will throw them in. But for some reason no one I work with understands that I can't hear them when they are in! So instead of waving at me or giving me a signal they will just walk up and start talking to me. They can see I have headphones in and then once I take them out I have to say, sorry what was that?

This might just be a pet peeve of mine and nothing to do with introversion at all. But if I'm tuning the work world out with loud music it's for a reason, leave me alone, or email me.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:14 am 
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GraciaKai wrote:
For those of you who wear headphones at work. Do people just start talking to you before you have a chance to take them out our is that just me?

happens to me. but it also happens on buses or on the street too, so I guess it's pretty normal behaviour. I'd find it more distracting if they tapped my shoulder or made weird gestures..at least if they're speaking it's passive enough that I can finish the line I'm writing before addressing them

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:17 am 
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GraciaKai wrote:
For those of you who wear headphones at work. Do people just start talking to you before you have a chance to take them out our is that just me?

YES. That's an open space pet peeve for me: if I'm wearing headphones it means I need to concentrate, so don't talk to me! The worst is people who see I have headphones in and still interrupt to chitchat. So rude.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:43 am 
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YES, all the time. People would just start talking to me and then I'd need to yank my headphones out and say, "Pardon?" Open concept offices = BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:07 pm 
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I don't make phone calls. Ever. I only answer the phone if I absolutely have to and it always leaves me a shivering wreck. And I can't work around other people. Working with people is fine, though.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:09 pm 
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At my office we all made little flags that we put on top of our computers if we have headphones in and don't want to be bothered.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:12 pm 
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Just got the usual "Hey! How are you?" message from the friend I mentioned the other day. I actually avoided clicking on it so she wouldn't see that I've read it yet. I feel like I'm being so petty and stupid, getting annoyed by her almost daily small talk sessions. I felt bad for how I've been acting when I saw her the other day, but a day later I just wanted my breathing room again. I'm not doing good or bad, I just am. I'm "sitting quietly" as ndp put it ;). And a lot of times that's how I am..just being, not really thinking about feelings but just basking in the quiet. But that's hard to convey. But I feel obnoxious for not wanting to chit chat all the time with someone who is and willingly wants to be my friend. But I just feel a little intruded on and I don't have anything to say conversation wise and don't want to force something out. And I also don't want to be the person she can drop in on facebook all the time throughout the day because I have no life. I actually hid myself from chat the other day. I don't know...am I just being a big bisque?

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:14 pm 
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And two seconds after posting she texted me...probably because I wasn't responding the other way...

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:21 pm 
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I don't think you are being a bisque. But I do honestly feel that we tend to be selfish with our time and ourselves naturally because we like it that way. So what to us seems logical and like they are intruding on our space they see as us being rude or not wanting to participate in the friendship.

I have a friend who I've known since we were 5. And she is always the one reaching out to me. She will say I haven't heard from you in a while. In my head I'm thinking, well I didn't have anything to say or fill you in on. I don't really have time or want to chit chat just for the hell of it. I know she's ok because if she wasn't I would have heard.

Also the "whats going on with you" and "what have you been up to" questions bother the shiitake out of me. NOTHING! I've been doing nothing. I work, I clean, I cook, I run errands, I sleep, I laze, repeat. That's my life in a nutshell, I don't see it changing anytime soon. Stop asking me!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 3:14 pm 
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Ugh, yeah, I hate the "what's going on with you" question. I usually just say, "work, cats" and that's about it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:54 am 
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GraciaKai wrote:
For those of you who wear headphones at work. Do people just start talking to you before you have a chance to take them out our is that just me?

i wear either super-intense noise cancelling earplug headphones or sometimes construction EARMUFFS at my volunteer gig (hundreds of parrots all screaming their little heads off, if you don't wear them you're screwed) and it amazes me that visitors/adoptees/etc will come up behind me and get upset that they have to repeat their conversation because I didn't hear them [or even know they were there, frankly. with three hundred parrots all yelling "hello" i just don't even hear them til they tap me on the shoulder and scare the shiitake out of me] or that i get miffed when after all this they just want to chitchat.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:00 am 
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i think i feel the same way as you monkeytoes, i am fine with large groups and public speaking and being very outgoing for work (as a teacher, a fundraiser, an onstage interpreter) and don't have trouble interacting at parties or anything. but i find that whenever i do these tests, no matter how much i think i am going to score differently, i always end up the same. it must be the relaxing with a book thing that always gets me lumped into introvert land. now i'm staying with my mom and she, I and my daughter can all be in the same room, reading quietly, then cook dinner with little conversation, we're all social, but we're all okay with quiet and with not having to talk to ease things.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:37 am 
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I have not had a single moment to myself since last...god. I haven't had a single moment to myself in weeks. And I don't count the odd hour in between hanging out with people and work, because that's filled with the stress of knowing I have to get up and talk to people.
I love my job- I even love sales- but I have been working too much lately, coupled with people constantly wanting to hang out with me and do things. Today is my one day off in two weeks and I wanted to go to bed early last night, sleep in today, laze around, do laundry, clean the forking kitchen, but no. My boyfriend (whom I love dearly) had made plans for us last night weeks ago, so I had to socialize with two people I don't know who I could tell were scrutinizing me incredibly harshly ("why is he dating her?" thing), and then, when I said I was going to go home, got the puppydog 'I wanna cuddle' face. Which, honestly, would've been fine, but he worked early this morning and godddamnit, this was my ONLY day to sleep in. So I was up at six on my day off. And now, I promised my roommate I'd drive up to Northgate to help him find a costume (which I don't want to do), and then my boyfriend wants to buy me lunch when he's off work as a thank you for getting up early with him. And two people are having Halloween parties this week and if I don't go, I'm the bad friend or the 'what do you see in this loser?' girlfriend.

Not to mention I'm working an incredibly social event Friday night (14 hour day) for work, going to one of said parties, then getting up to work my normal shift (nine a.m.) Saturday, and it's the beginning of retail hell season. And Saturday is a coworker's party, which I promised to go to a month ago.

I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO LEAVE ME ALONE. Just for one forking day so I can get through the rest of this damned week. I was exhaustedly just laying on my boyfriend last night before we went out, and he said, "missdelaney, wake up! It's not so bad. You know Andrew (one of his friends we were meeting) routinely works 18 hour days."
I stared at him and didn't have the energy to argue. Yes, that sucks. Yes, I am so sorry he has to do that. But guess what? He likes being around people! Drinking and socializing is relaxing to him.
It is not whatsoever...EVER to me. I absolutely hate it. So, in addition to working a job where my personality has to be 'on' at all times- which I do an excellent job at most days- I have had to bring that into my personal time for weeks on end. I don't even want to play music or have other people play music around me at this point...I've been at work way too much listening to people play that it isn't even enjoyable, much less relaxing, for me to sit and play guitar.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:04 pm 
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torque wrote:
three hundred parrots all yelling "hello"


This sound absolutely wonderful!


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:07 pm 
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~Sz wrote:
torque wrote:
three hundred parrots all yelling "hello"


This sound absolutely wonderful!

No it doesn't! One parrot saying hello is adorable. 300 is mind bending agony.

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