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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:03 pm 
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missdelaney, sounds like you need to set some firm boundaries. You are allowed (and deserve) to take care of your needs! If that means no socializing for a few days or spending the night away from your boyfriend or skipping a party that you're too exhausted for, do it!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:43 pm 
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that's the exact reason why those articles were written. it's exhausting trying to explain to extroverts why we can't "keep up" with them.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:50 pm 
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supercarrot wrote:
that's the exact reason why those articles were written. it's exhausting trying to explain to extroverts why we can't "keep up" with them.


Truth. It needs to be spelled out for a lot of people.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 10:31 pm 
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Yeah, I had a nice little conversation with him about it today, and, thankfully, he said he was more than happy to just take a nap this afternoon with me, so that was absolutely awesome. Now I'm having a lonely (read: happy) night doing laundry, drinking stout, and making pumpkin bars for work, and I'll be watching The Big Bang Theory soon! So much better. I'm already feeling better, though I think I have a cold.
And my boss called and asked if I was ok working a half day tomorrow to keep my overtime down, so I'm only at work until two tomorrow! Which means I can putter about and do the cleaning I neglected today and be rested enough to go to the party tomorrow without having a total breakdown.

Sometimes, I worry people find introverted folks awfully dull, because of that same reason- "What do you do for fun?"
Well. Uh. Laundry. I read and bake...I like dicking about the Internet. Playing guitar and piano. Writing? Sleeping. Staring at my ceiling (my mom thought this was so forking weird when I was a kid). I like cleaning? And, not to sound totally sad, but I actually enjoy drinking alone. So it all works out!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:35 am 
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I'm pretty much introverted, but I've found that when I'm dancing it's a bit different. I recently took up salsa dancing and I love it. I actually enjoy practicing with different people because it gives me more experience. However, if the dance floor is crowded it's a no go. I wish it was easier to dance in a classroom setting all the time.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:11 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
supercarrot wrote:
that's the exact reason why those articles were written. it's exhausting trying to explain to extroverts why we can't "keep up" with them.


Truth. It needs to be spelled out for a lot of people.

Truths!

I always have the same stuff going on in my life because I enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy my life I would change things. I'm not a passive person, when I want something I do eet or go for it, I just like happen to like introverted activities and always have and I figure I always will. Nothing needs fixing, I don't need to get out more (I already tried going out a lot when I was younger and it wasn't for me to behave like a social butterfly who likes to be doing something out of the house every night of the week--I get that sometimes that's other people but that's just not me). I love staying in. I love reading and writing and watching TV and doing quiet things. It's that simple!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:28 pm 
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I hate the "what do you do for fun?" and "what did you do this weekend?" questions because I never do anything interesting, and I feel like if I answer honestly ("nothing!"), people will think I'm brushing them off/not wanting to open up.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 2:01 pm 
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ashley wrote:
I hate the "what do you do for fun?" and "what did you do this weekend?" questions because I never do anything interesting, and I feel like if I answer honestly ("nothing!"), people will think I'm brushing them off/not wanting to open up.


Exact same thing. My one coworker is always like (on Friday) "so what do you guys have planned for the weekend?"
and literally my plan for the weekend is to do nothing by myself and avoid interacting with anyone or putting on clothes that match and I never know what to say to her.
then (on Monday) "how was your weekend?" and I wish I could be like "it was the bastion of introversion that i predicted and made good on".


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 2:34 pm 
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Oh, I hate the "So, what did you do this weekend?" question. I get this from coworkers almost every week. If I say "nothing", they keep pressing, "Surely you must have done something?" Then if I tell them that I stayed home, read a book, walked the dog, etc., they give me the Look of Pity and say, "Well, I'm sure you'll find something to do next weekend!" And if I say that I actually enjoy a quiet weekend at home, I get "That's a good attitude to have!" in a "Poor thing, good for you for making the best of a terrible situation" voice.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:15 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
A huge pet peeve of mine is people who think shy or quiet =introvert and outgoing or talkative = extrovert. Like most things, introversion and extroversion is more of a continuum than making people choose column A or B.

I am chatty and get along pretty well in social situations, but I really need a lot of alone time and prefer solitary activities.


Me too!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 4:06 pm 
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I've stopped trying to make watching football with my boyfriend, drinking beer, and going out to eat sound like a fun weekend, because every time I tell someone that, they say, 'Oh, so pretty low key, then?' No...I left the house! And anytime I actually have done something (literally anything at all that I think someone might think is interesting or fun), I get really excited to tell them. Because, look! I'm a person who sometimes does things too! Like, I'm unreasonably excited to tell people on Monday that I went to the next city over to see an exhibit at the museum there and then to brunch afterward.

I'm pretty damned introverted, but sometimes I really need to get out and see people or I want to crawl out of my skin. Today is one of those days. Happily, a couple of fellow introverts asked if I wanted to meet them for drinks this evening. I'm pumped because they're teachers as well, and thus...pretty dorky, and they don't bat an eyelash when I tell them how badly I wish I could just hug a monkey and I love listening to their stories of their also introverted 15 year old daughter who refuses to hang out with her friends.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 4:47 pm 
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allularpunk wrote:
I've stopped trying to make watching football with my boyfriend, drinking beer, and going out to eat sound like a fun weekend, because every time I tell someone that, they say, 'Oh, so pretty low key, then?' No...I left the house! And anytime I actually have done something (literally anything at all that I think someone might think is interesting or fun), I get really excited to tell them. Because, look! I'm a person who sometimes does things too! Like, I'm unreasonably excited to tell people on Monday that I went to the next city over to see an exhibit at the museum there and then to brunch afterward.

I kind of can be the same way with folks I know who don't count staying in and reading a book as doing anything. In fact, that would be described as doing nothing for some. To me, it's something. But yes, when I do go out, I sometimes am excited to announce my outing to others. "Look! I went out! I did stuff! I saw people! I went, I saw, I conquered!" I love seeing people, of course, just...you know, at my own leisure.

I used to date this guy who saw "going out and seeing people" i.e., for example going to a club or pub, as the only thing that meant you were doing something, or so it seemed to me. I used to say to him: "but I'd like to go to the library! That's a fun time for me and that's going out. People will be there..." because I really disliked loud parties and clubs which he favored and he'd say "no one wants to go to the library on a Friday night! That doesn't count." Well, I wanted to go to the library on a Friday night. And to me that's doing something. And there WILL be people with a nose in their book in the aisles, maybe, but PEOPLE. Clearly, I was just hanging out with the wrong folks.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 7:03 pm 
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Yes, I feel weird when people ask me how my weekend was because I'm usually thinking, "I don't know, same as any other day, really."

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 1:29 am 
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"more naps than most days. so, my weekend was forking great" is usually how mine goes

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:09 pm 
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joshua wrote:
"more naps than most days. so, my weekend was forking great" is usually how mine goes


This.

It's so funny to hear you all say the same things I've said and thought. People are always asking if I have 'big plans!' for the weekend, and I usually respond with the book I'm reading.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:46 pm 
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I have to go to a party today that I really can't skip. This is the fifth weekend in a row where I have to go to a major social event. Am I into it? No I am not.

Tomorrow we're going to go hiking in the middle of nowhere. It is going to be great.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 5:16 pm 
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I just wanted to +1 yummy everything in this thread. I consciously decided a little while ago to stop beating myself up because of my introversion and I have been so much happier since just accepting it. Meeting people and dating is still tough, but if someone thinks I'm dull or boring and doesn't see the awesome that lies just beneath the surface, fork them.


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 4:51 am 
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Reading this, and thinking about my schedule, I think the reason why I keep getting sick (and then staying sick for so long) is because of trying to do too many things. I feel like I'm constantly moving and need like, a month to just chill out and be quiet at home. Not sure when or how I can make that happen. My dude thinks that when he comes to see me for 1-2 weekends that counts as "at home time" but nope, that counts as my "busy with other people" time so I "miss out" on seeing friends (even if I "gain" piles and piles of cuddles). I think I have pretty minimal socialization needs, but as soon as they're met, are they ever met, and I need piles of quiet and chill out time to compensate. Not quite sure how I managed to get such a deficit of alone time though. Also not quite sure how I can manage to tip the scales back in my favor.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 4:52 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
People are always asking if I have 'big plans!' for the weekend, and I usually respond with the book I'm reading.


I normally just turn the question around and onto them, and keep on not answering. :P

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 11:06 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
joshua wrote:
"more naps than most days. so, my weekend was forking great" is usually how mine goes


This.

It's so funny to hear you all say the same things I've said and thought. People are always asking if I have 'big plans!' for the weekend, and I usually respond with the book I'm reading.



This! Every Monday morning we have a short dept conference call, and I hate the "whaddya do this weekend" question. I find myself with a "nothing special, did a bunch of errands and then just chilled" response but really, I want to say "I never left the house. I read an entire book. It was pure win." I clean, I workout, I walk my dogs, I read, I watch a movie, and I cook. That is pretty much every weekend and I'm good with that (well except the cleaning, but if I'm going to hole up in my house I don't want it to be squalid).


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 11:22 am 
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this is the adult equivalent of the old "what did you do over summer vacation" thing. I used to hate that.
I had a group interview for college where they asked that and it was the worst thing ever. One went to Monaco, another sailed around the world, another won the US Open or some preposterous gregarious shiitake. I was the last person to go and was so angry by the time they got to me that I explained how I had worked all summer shoveling polo pony shiitake for snobbish rich people and then spent a week in a tent by myself reading Nabokov. You should have heard the crickets. The interviewer was impressed whenI walked into the one-on-one until I told him to throw my application away, I didn't want to go to school with people like that. And that, children, is why I didn't go to Princeton. #screwBU,Princetontoo
(no offense, i am sure princeton people are lovely, but it was so funny at the time. guess you had to be there.)

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:00 pm 
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torque wrote:
this is the adult equivalent of the old "what did you do over summer vacation" thing. I used to hate that.
I had a group interview for college where they asked that and it was the worst thing ever. One went to Monaco, another sailed around the world, another won the US Open or some preposterous gregarious shiitake. I was the last person to go and was so angry by the time they got to me that I explained how I had worked all summer shoveling polo pony shiitake for snobbish rich people and then spent a week in a tent by myself reading Nabokov. You should have heard the crickets. The interviewer was impressed whenI walked into the one-on-one until I told him to throw my application away, I didn't want to go to school with people like that. And that, children, is why I didn't go to Princeton. #screwBU,Princetontoo
(no offense, i am sure princeton people are lovely, but it was so funny at the time. guess you had to be there.)



Ha! Exactly. Its big doings if we actually went camping or hiking or people were in town, but maybe I'll just start making stuff up because even that's not exciting. I took up splunking! Went on a pub crawl! Rescued orphans from burning building! Paid $20 to get into a club at midnight and then paid $400 for a bottle of Smirnoff that costs $12 at the liquor store! (Oh, wait, snarkiness is pbly not the point...)


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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:03 pm 
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damn, torque. that is such a rad story! i love it!

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:23 pm 
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emmalv wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
joshua wrote:
"more naps than most days. so, my weekend was forking great" is usually how mine goes


This.

It's so funny to hear you all say the same things I've said and thought. People are always asking if I have 'big plans!' for the weekend, and I usually respond with the book I'm reading.



This! Every Monday morning we have a short dept conference call, and I hate the "whaddya do this weekend" question. I find myself with a "nothing special, did a bunch of errands and then just chilled" response but really, I want to say "I never left the house. I read an entire book. It was pure win." I clean, I workout, I walk my dogs, I read, I watch a movie, and I cook. That is pretty much every weekend and I'm good with that (well except the cleaning, but if I'm going to hole up in my house I don't want it to be squalid).


So much this! You could be describing me besides the dog. I take walks, nap, exercise, read, do chores, eat.

I haven't had any "plans" this weekend, and it's been awesome. Exactly what I needed.

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 Post subject: Re: The Introvert's Support Thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 3:02 pm 
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I wrote parts of a massive paper and am on my way to knitting two whole gloves. Win.

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