A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having

vijita · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:14 am

fishelle wrote:

i've had sex somewhat recently, but i haven't had good sex in yearsssss!! the brain being the biggest sexual organ for me, and all the hot prospects in this town being emotionally stunted moroons, makes most sex i've had boringsville. wish i could bypass the brain and just find a lover to get my rocks off. i need a big burly lumberjack type to come along and sort me out. which isn't going to happen so i guess i'll just have to keep reading vampire porn novels..... although some of them have too much dialogue in the sexy scenes. less talk more cork, nosferatu!

I came into this thread just to witness this epic fishelle post! <3

But I'm not hijacking! No jacking at all. Gawd, it is too early for this kind of talk.

joyfulgirl · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:24 am

ScooterDiva wrote:

hoveringdog wrote:

Anyone read the book Chastened? The author voluntarily went a year without sex, got a book deal out of it. Oh, please.

I should get a set of encyclopedias named after me, then.

Seriously. Where's my money?

I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer complaining. It's like when you're so hungry you stop feeling hungry and start saying "oh well, I've waited this long, what's another hour?" I have no right to complain really. If I live like a hermit and never leave my room, how can I complain that I don't meet anyone?

waxwolf · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:41 pm **Posts:** 231

fishelle wrote:

i've had sex somewhat recently, but i haven't had good sex in yearsssss!! the brain being the biggest sexual organ for me, and all the hot prospects in this town being emotionally stunted moroons, makes most sex i've had boringsville. wish i could bypass the brain and just find a lover to get my rocks off. i need a big burly lumberjack type to come along and sort me out. which isn't going to happen so i guess i'll just have to keep reading vampire porn novels..... although some of them have too much dialogue in the sexy scenes. less talk more cork, nosferatu!

[/quote]

[hijack] I love you. [/hijack]

allularpunk · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:54 pm

hoveringdog wrote:

pistachiorose wrote:

hoveringdog wrote:

Yes!

It'll be two years in January. I'm not getting any younger here.

Dude! You've got to get out of Olympia.

Dude! Like it's been any different anywhere else I've lived.

i don't get this! not to be a creep or anything (ok, here i go, about to get creepy), but judging from your flickr stream, you are totally sex-worthy. like, totally.

now i'm blushing, great.

Sarah-Jane · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:14 pm

Seven months, almost eight, for me. I am kind of liking the whole being single thing, though and I don't want a random hook up so it is the price I am willing to pay, but only for a little while longer!

Sarah-Jane · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:15 pm

allularpunk wrote:

now i'm blushing, great.

You are adorable.

melly · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:21 pm **Posts:** 89

I haven't had sex since May of 2008. I went through a really bad breakup and pretty much lost all desire to be near people, so I'm happy to report that I am finally interested in meeting dudes again. The good news is that I found someone to make out with on weekends. Bad news is that he is my coworker.

B_A_D · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:21 pm

hoveringdog wrote:

pistachiorose wrote:

hoveringdog wrote:

Yes!

It'll be two years in January. I'm not getting any younger here.

Dude! You've got to get out of Olympia.

Dude! Like it's been any different anywhere else I've lived.

Dude, I am going to suggest Canada. Once again.

I am beginning to see a rise in my electricity bill from charging my toys. This shiitake is crazy.

B_A_D · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:24 pm

fishelle wrote:

i've had sex somewhat recently, but i haven't had good sex in yearsssss!! the brain being the biggest sexual organ for me, and all the hot prospects in this town being emotionally stunted moroons, makes most sex i've had boringsville. wish i could bypass the brain and just find a lover to get my rocks off. i need a big burly lumberjack type to come along and sort me out. which isn't going to happen so i guess i'll just have to keep reading vampire porn novels..... although some of them have too much dialogue in the sexy scenes. less talk more cork, nosferatu!

Your avatar made me think you were mangosauce for 0.2 seconds.

/offtopic

Kelvia · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:59 pm **Posts:** 498

fishelle wrote:

i've had sex somewhat recently, but i haven't had good sex in yearsssss!! the brain being the biggest sexual organ for me, and all the hot prospects in this town being emotionally stunted moroons, makes most sex i've had boringsville. wish i could bypass the brain and just find a lover to get my rocks off. i need a big burly lumberjack type to come along and sort me out. which isn't going to happen so i guess i'll just have to keep reading vampire porn novels..... although some of them have too much dialogue in the sexy scenes. less talk more cork, nosferatu!

You must be reading the JR Ward books?

booberthefraggle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:12 pm

boober+art school boys = no luck.

I also am feeling kind of unsure of myself right now, so one night stands aren't really in the picture if i'm to be emotionally healthy (at least one solid date before sexing = my rule as of 4 months ago) so that eliminated like 90% of my chances for sex.

handan · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:37 pm

Been a month. Might be longer for various reasons.

B_A_D · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:52 pm

booberthefraggle wrote:

boober+art school boys = no luck.

I also am feeling kind of unsure of myself right now, so one night stands aren't really in the picture if i'm to be emotionally healthy (at least one solid date before sexing = my rule as of 4 months ago) so that eliminated like 90% of my chances for sex.

I know what you mean. I really want to be or get comfortable with one night stands, but i just can't seem to get there. Even within new relationships first times are all kinds of horrible awkwardness...

I have an existing pattern with the universe. I go on BC no sex, I get tired of wasting my money and go off BC instance prospects/action. As a result I am currently approaching a 3 month mark and considering going back on BC to test my theory.

tinglepants! · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:10 pm

All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.

If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?

Rubella · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:17 pm

I had sex once all year. And it wasn't even good. And I was kind of pressured into it. Meh.

thisheregiraffe · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:26 pm

It has been an embarrassingly long time since my business has seen any action. D=

fishelle · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:52 am

Kelvia wrote:

fishelle wrote:

i've had sex somewhat recently, but i haven't had good sex in yearsssss!! the brain being the biggest sexual organ for me, and all the hot prospects in this town being emotionally stunted moroons, makes most sex i've had boringsville. wish i could bypass the brain and just find a lover to get my rocks off. i need a big burly lumberjack type to come along and sort me out. which isn't going to happen so i guess i'll just have to keep reading vampire porn novels..... although some of them have too much dialogue in the sexy scenes. less talk more cork, nosferatu!

You must be reading the JR Ward books?

nope. are they good? i can't remember what series i've been reading. i borrow them from a coworker. and i'm not paying much attention to the plot ifyouknowwhatimean.

what is with this epidemic of the young and the sexless?!? i just had wine with 2 old pals and we all confessed that the sex in our last relationships was lame! and we are sexy bisques! it's not like we're making the fellas work with nothing here! we got to get this sorted out soon. i don't want end up the senior home hussy making up for a nookieless life before i kick the bucket!

lycophyte · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:26 am

The question is...can someone explain the double negatives in this thread title?

And its been over a year since I liked it, though its been like 9 months since an awkward experience. Well, not awkward so much as she was very drunk and I was sober and crying, because it was too close to post-breakup; she was drunk and didn't notice and having a good time.

eta- and I'm not trying hard to find people either...but it could be partially where I live. moving to a city with many lesbians though soooo I'll feel positive for the first few weeks til I fail in the "meeting people in the real not online way" because online fails me.

joyfulgirl · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:48 am

lycophyte wrote:

The question is...can someone explain the double negatives in this thread title?

If it said thread about the sex we're not having, it would be a thread about sex. And we would have to talk about the sex we aren't having. Therefore, this is a thread not about the sex we're not having.

mumbles · **Joined:** Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:53 pm **Posts:** 2667

This thread, like the old one, is totally about the sex that you aren't having.

Fee · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:53 am

tinglepants! wrote:

All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.

If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?

I hope that you were actually counting. Or you're guessing that "that had to have been more than a minute, but definitely fewer than two"

Fee · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:01 pm

BrisVegan wrote:

Honey, I thought half the PPK loved you, though apparently not in the biblical sense.

PPK crushes do not get you laid. Local prostitutes would be cheaper, more reliable, and less heartbreaky.

tinglepants! · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:16 pm

Fee wrote:

tinglepants! wrote:

All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.

If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?

I hope that you were actually counting. Or you're guessing that "that had to have been more than a minute, but definitely fewer than two"

I really wish I could time-travel, if only for the sake of counting. I think we might have reached two minutes, uh, once?

ETA: is it wrong that I love you for using "fewer" instead of "less"? I mean, I love you for other reasons, too.

Invictus · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:23 pm **Posts:** 2465

Oh, a thread for me! Yeah...away from home for a year=no nookie except self nookie

hoveringdog™ · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:24 pm

just mumbles wrote:

This thread, like the old one, is totally about the sex that you aren't having.

I know, I know. It's like saying, "Don't think about pink elephants."

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