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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:30 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:32 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.


I know! I was going longer without it when I was married.

Quote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


Bwhahahaa. Eeeeww. Bwhahahaaaaa!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:11 pm 
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twenty-two days*. yeah I spelled it out so people might glance over it when this thread gets longer.
So what do I win? I'll settle for cupcakes or pie. Cherry please.












*days actually = years.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:41 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:42 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!

I've been told that thinking about baseball helps.

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"If I were M. de la Viandeviande, I would now write a thirteen page post about how you have to have free will to be vegan, but modern science does not suggest any evidence for free will, therefore it is impossible to be vegan." -mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 7:39 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:
just mumbles wrote:
This thread, like the old one, is totally about the sex that you aren't having.


I know, I know. It's like saying, "Don't think about pink elephants."

except not thinking about pink elephants is way easier than not thinking about our lack of sex.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:20 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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tinglepants! wrote:
hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!


I am lying actually. I'm so used to taking care of myself that it's kinda difficult with a real person.

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"I'm so glad my prison of principles has wifi." - Abelskiver


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:33 pm 
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Oh God. I can't stop thinking about pink elephants!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:54 pm 
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The fact that my upstairs neighbor is getting laid regularly is not helpful when I try not to think of the sex I'm not having.

fun fact: I have no idea what gender upstairs neighbor is, but the guy who is there is hilariously loud and the lady barely makes a sound. this is the opposite of what I am used to neighbor-wise.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:11 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:



I am lying actually. I'm so used to taking care of myself that it's kinda difficult with a real person.

I'm afraid this is going to turn into a huge problem for me. Too many toys and no people....

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:23 pm 
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Chard Martyr
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It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:41 pm 
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Three weeks now! Ugh!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:20 pm 
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Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:25 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.

If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


You are ALL amateurs. Nobody in this thread beats me.

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"This is the creepiest post ever if you don't know who Molly is." -Fee
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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:42 pm 
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I think there's something wrong with me... i've started to miss the after and before sex stuff too.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:56 pm 
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this is a good read. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/11/th ... he_un.html
they have others but they are filled with, you know, sex.


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:55 am 
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j-dub wrote:
Oh God. I can't stop thinking about pink elephants having sex!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:24 am 
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I've gone 5 years without sex, which I do not recommend. I last got laid at the beginning of August, but now that I'm no longer on hormonal birth control, my sex drive is out of control. Sigh. I guess it can't be too bad because I still have standards.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:29 am 
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Chard Martyr
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tinglepants! wrote:
Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.


How do you know this for a fact?


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:41 am 
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Thanks to the subliminal messages on this thread I dreamt that I was dating H Dog last night! It was all very sweet but no sexy times, so I don't have to leave the PPK in a blaze of shame, whoo!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:31 am 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
I am desirous of makeouts.
At the same time, its been so long and I'm kind of going crazy and starting to hate everyone of the male gender for no reason whatsoever.

I am embittered

I second that embitterment.


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:56 am 
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Dr. Apricot wrote:
I've gone 5 years without sex, which I do not recommend. I last got laid at the beginning of August, but now that I'm no longer on hormonal birth control, my sex drive is out of control. Sigh. I guess it can't be too bad because I still have standards.


I don't even have anyone to lower my standards for!!

Who am I kidding, I'm just shy and don't know how to flirt nor do I usually know how to perceive someone elses's flirt.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:14 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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i quit drinking. and i am totally not sure whether i can pull off the whole one night stand thing sober..


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:56 am 
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Quarantined wrote:
I've been told that thinking about baseball helps.

Nuns and dead kittens, for me.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:44 pm 
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Meggs wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.


How do you know this for a fact?


There can be only chicken lady. And yes, I am really Scott Thompson.

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