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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:30 pm 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:32 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.


I know! I was going longer without it when I was married.

Quote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


Bwhahahaa. Eeeeww. Bwhahahaaaaa!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:11 pm 
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twenty-two days*. yeah I spelled it out so people might glance over it when this thread gets longer.
So what do I win? I'll settle for cupcakes or pie. Cherry please.












*days actually = years.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:41 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:42 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!

I've been told that thinking about baseball helps.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 7:39 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:
just mumbles wrote:
This thread, like the old one, is totally about the sex that you aren't having.


I know, I know. It's like saying, "Don't think about pink elephants."

except not thinking about pink elephants is way easier than not thinking about our lack of sex.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:20 pm 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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tinglepants! wrote:
hoveringdog wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


If ninety-second sex doesn't count, I'm still a virgin.


You are such a liar. I bet you can make it to three minutes!


I am lying actually. I'm so used to taking care of myself that it's kinda difficult with a real person.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:33 pm 
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Oh God. I can't stop thinking about pink elephants!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:54 pm 
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The fact that my upstairs neighbor is getting laid regularly is not helpful when I try not to think of the sex I'm not having.

fun fact: I have no idea what gender upstairs neighbor is, but the guy who is there is hilariously loud and the lady barely makes a sound. this is the opposite of what I am used to neighbor-wise.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:11 pm 
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hoveringdog wrote:



I am lying actually. I'm so used to taking care of myself that it's kinda difficult with a real person.

I'm afraid this is going to turn into a huge problem for me. Too many toys and no people....

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:23 pm 
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It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:41 pm 
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Three weeks now! Ugh!

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:20 pm 
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Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:25 pm 
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tinglepants! wrote:
All you one-month-or-lessers are amateurs...I wish I were only going without for a month--then I might be able to kinda sorta remember what it feels like.

If I don't count a few spats of 90-second sex earlier this year (yeah, really), I'm looking at three years. So, do I beat you, HoveringDog?


You are ALL amateurs. Nobody in this thread beats me.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:42 pm 
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I think there's something wrong with me... i've started to miss the after and before sex stuff too.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:56 pm 
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this is a good read. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/11/th ... he_un.html
they have others but they are filled with, you know, sex.


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:55 am 
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j-dub wrote:
Oh God. I can't stop thinking about pink elephants having sex!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:24 am 
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I've gone 5 years without sex, which I do not recommend. I last got laid at the beginning of August, but now that I'm no longer on hormonal birth control, my sex drive is out of control. Sigh. I guess it can't be too bad because I still have standards.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:29 am 
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tinglepants! wrote:
Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.


How do you know this for a fact?


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:41 am 
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Thanks to the subliminal messages on this thread I dreamt that I was dating H Dog last night! It was all very sweet but no sexy times, so I don't have to leave the PPK in a blaze of shame, whoo!


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:31 am 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
I am desirous of makeouts.
At the same time, its been so long and I'm kind of going crazy and starting to hate everyone of the male gender for no reason whatsoever.

I am embittered

I second that embitterment.


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:56 am 
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Dr. Apricot wrote:
I've gone 5 years without sex, which I do not recommend. I last got laid at the beginning of August, but now that I'm no longer on hormonal birth control, my sex drive is out of control. Sigh. I guess it can't be too bad because I still have standards.


I don't even have anyone to lower my standards for!!

Who am I kidding, I'm just shy and don't know how to flirt nor do I usually know how to perceive someone elses's flirt.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:14 am 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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i quit drinking. and i am totally not sure whether i can pull off the whole one night stand thing sober..


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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:56 am 
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Quarantined wrote:
I've been told that thinking about baseball helps.

Nuns and dead kittens, for me.

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 Post subject: Re: A thread not about the sex that some of us aren't having
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:44 pm 
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Meggs wrote:
tinglepants! wrote:
Meggs wrote:
It's been too long... AND the last time was awful.
Hey H-Dog, the artist formerly known as Schmoopie and I both live in Chicago... just sayin'.



Did I just pimp us out?


But unlike me, Meggs doesn't look like a chicken and wear a skirt in her armpits. Now, it's just you, Meggs. Bwahaaahaaaa.


How do you know this for a fact?


There can be only chicken lady. And yes, I am really Scott Thompson.

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