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 Post subject: Re: Mental Health Stigma
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:44 pm 
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Has it on Blue Vinyl
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:05 pm
Posts: 2028
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
I just started seeing a new psychologist a month ago. I've been there twice since then - the first time, when we went over my history (pretty much the usual surface stuff) and I told her I felt pretty okay and she suggested that we just met every two weeks, and then the next time which was after a few terrible terrible days (my first massive anxiety attack in a loooong time, super depressed days, general agitation making it impossible to sit still) and when I talked to her the next time she said "maybe you should come once a week, it sounds like you're not doing as well as you seemed to be doing the first time we met". It felt really good that there was no skepticism about it, she just acknowledged that I was doing a bit worse.

We had a pretty good session all in all. It's the first time that I'm paying for therapy with a private psychologist (it feel REALLY good to be able to, I've been in group therapy and had private sessions before, but never in a setup like this), which I get subsidized partly, so I only have to pay $50 instead of $140 per session, but I only have 12 sessions subsidized. I really hope that I can get another 12 sessions after this.
She seems pretty solid, I just talked and then she asked me how I felt in different parts of the body and then she guided me to focus on a part of my body that felt good or even just okay and instructed me to do that when I feel anxious or restless (a clear sign that I am not doing okay).
I've been trying to get into a personal meditation practice for quite a few months now (using the Headspace app) and I really want to get back on that wagon, so I felt pretty good about her using body scan techniques as a tool.
I also told her how I feel pretty bad about getting messed up every once in a while, how it makes me feel like I am always just waiting to fall into another hole - eating disorder, depression, stress, anxiety.. Like, even when I feel okay for a long time, something always seem to happen to make me feel like shiitake again and then it just STICKS. I had three really good years, then BANG - I've been depressed for 18 months now and only slowly getting better again. Right now I can cope, but it's been way worse and I still have days when I just can't seem to function, which makes it pretty hard to be living an adult life.
How do you guys make that work for you? I suffer from migraines as well and get sick relatively often, so I always feel pretty bad about taking mental health days (but I am trying to do it when necessary). But it does seem excessive when I take off 2 days with migraines, 2 half days for therapy, and then I usually have at least 1-2 days a month where I am just kind of sick. That's between 3 and 5 days out of the 20 work days in a month! It seems pretty crazy to take time off just because I have a bad day, then.
Right now I have a very understanding boss (basically, she says that it is not up to her to decide if I feel well enough to go to work and that she respects me and trusts that I make good decisions), but this is a temporary work situation. So yeah.

Another thing I've been thinking about is that I just started antidepressants 4-ish months ago for the first time and while they've worked pretty well in regards to the depression, they also have the major side effects of me becoming a sleepy zombie who needs at least 11 hours of sleep to just function, which doesn't exactly work so well for me. So I've gone from 50 mg of sertraline (zoloft) to 75 mg, then back to 50 mg and now I'm at 25 mg. The 25 mg seems to be the magic spot that doesn't make me sleepy, but it doesn't work as well, depression-wise, which is kind of the point.
I know I need to talk to my doctor about it, but I so don't need a bad transition period right now. My boyfriend is leaving for Georgia (the country, not the state) in just 2 weeks and he will be gone for 3 weeks and I am pretty worried about how I will handle this. I will definitely make sure I schedule therapy every week, but it will be too hard if I am feeling like a mess because of a change in meds.


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