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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:57 am 
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my parents have a weird toilet. Well, loos here are different anyways from american ones, our bowls are not full of water to the rim, but only fill when you flush.

but, my parents have a toilet where the poo lands on a "tableau" first and gets flushed away later. ANYWAY, last weekend, I was at my parents, and almost took a picture of it! (the pretty turd, not the toilet). It was awesome! almost a perfect circle. so pretty!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 4:22 pm 
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I had a really gross poo today that I think is a result of eating some Tofurkey sausage. You know how it's coated in a lot of oil in the package? Well ...

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:14 pm 
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I ate over a pound of blueberries yesterday...soooo...gritty.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:51 pm 
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I had an awesome, huge, fluffy, brown poo about an hour after I woke up today. I'll credit yesterday's kim chee.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:55 pm 
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Only 4 posts in and Dweeby is already in the poop thread. Epic.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 4:00 pm 
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You know that feeling when you've just cleaned your toilet and then you realize you're about to have to take a big dump in the toilet that you JUST CLEANED?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:55 am 
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jerusha wrote:
my parents have a weird toilet. Well, loos here are different anyways from american ones, our bowls are not full of water to the rim, but only fill when you flush.

but, my parents have a toilet where the poo lands on a "tableau" first and gets flushed away later. ANYWAY, last weekend, I was at my parents, and almost took a picture of it! (the pretty turd, not the toilet). It was awesome! almost a perfect circle. so pretty!


Ah, yes, the shelf toilet. The Dutch are rather fond of these too (much to the chagrin of many an expat) and there's one in my apartment. It took some getting used to, but now I miss it when I have to poo elsewhere. My bf in Belgium Those sloping sided toilets with the tiny puddle of water at the bottom suck for poo inspection because the poo just slides down out of view and you can't judge your output. The shelf lets you see volume and texture at a glace!

After all this time in Europe, I'm taken aback when I'm back in N. America and have to poo into what feels like a swimming pool below my asparagus. Plus, splashback!

choirqueer wrote:
You know that feeling when you've just cleaned your toilet and then you realize you're about to have to take a big dump in the toilet that you JUST CLEANED?


Blank canvas?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:17 am 
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lepelaar wrote:
choirqueer wrote:
You know that feeling when you've just cleaned your toilet and then you realize you're about to have to take a big dump in the toilet that you JUST CLEANED?


Blank canvas?


This made my day. Thank you!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:24 am 
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One of my poos today had two distinct colours - orange, from the pumpkin pie I made the other day (completely oblivious to the fact that it was Thanksgiving in the US.... weird), and green, from my green smoothie earlier. There were two separate, differently-coloured sections. I've had this happen before, but not that often, so it's always kinda novel. I was sad when the next one was the standard brown again.

Anyone else experience this?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:41 am 
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gunk wrote:
One of my poos today had two distinct colours - orange, from the pumpkin pie I made the other day (completely oblivious to the fact that it was Thanksgiving in the US.... weird), and green, from my green smoothie earlier. There were two separate, differently-coloured sections. I've had this happen before, but not that often, so it's always kinda novel. I was sad when the next one was the standard brown again.

Anyone else experience this?



Yeah, I call that the marbled poo. So weird when that happens. I'm waiting for three colors to call it the calico poo.


And I'm jealous of the shelf toilet. That sounds amazing.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:01 pm 
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The weird thing was that it wasn't marbled! Just two separate blocks of colour. I've experienced marbled poo too, though.

Three colours.... now that would be something to aim for!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:22 pm 
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gunk wrote:
The weird thing was that it wasn't marbled! Just two separate blocks of colour. I've experienced marbled poo too, though.



Parfait?


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:46 pm 
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Poofait?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:38 am 
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Lactose Intolerant...Literally

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Im constpated. I just chugged water and ate brussels sprouts and am thinking about making some oatmeal. Ive had coffee two days in a row, I dont know what my problem is. Its even making me cranky.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:58 pm 
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phee, try a big glass of warm water w/lemon. That has always worked for me.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:51 pm 
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Maybe THAT'S my poo problem. Each morning when I get to work, I love to have a big glass of warm water with a squeeze of lemon to energize me. And then I have to poo at some point during the work day, which I hate! I like pooping at home!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:00 pm 
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Ok, I will try that. I dont keep lemons so I will have to get some. Maybe I will drink aglass every morning. I usually dont have a problem though. Right now, Im trying something thats worked for me before. Drink a glass of water every 15 minutes for an hour. It only took 45 minutes when I trie it last time.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:38 pm 
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Im expecting some big things to happen, am eating hummus veggie filled pitas with tea


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:58 pm 
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Still nothing. I hade a huge salad last night with broccoli, romaine, carrots, tofu, black beans, and almonds. I drank smooth move 4 hrs ago! Nothing. I just want to poop!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:46 pm 
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phee, if i were you and it has been more than a few days i would try milk of magnesia or some other slightly more intense alternative. i remember having something like this happen when i was a teenager and it was most unpleasant! i finally went to the doc and that was what he prescribed (no dietary changes afterwards either, smart me) and it certainly helped right away.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:54 pm 
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phee wrote:
Im constpated. I just chugged water and ate brussels sprouts and am thinking about making some oatmeal. Ive had coffee two days in a row, I dont know what my problem is. Its even making me cranky.


I have ibs-c and I was just SUPER constipated for TWO WEEKS. my mood starting getting really nasty and down and I just felt awful. I ended up taking citrucel for a week straight 3 times a day, when I finally went it was all orange!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:40 am 
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This is going to sound really weird but, if you have a vibrator (or anything that vibrates that you can safely put down there), using it in your anal area (either on the outside, or even inside if you don't mind sticking things up your butt) can help with constipation because it stimulates your rectum/colon to contract and push the poop out. I was constipated for a long time after I had major surgery a few years ago -- it was probably about a week, it felt like a hundred years! -- and finally my doc suggested I try this, and it (literally) saved my asparagus.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:09 am 
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choirqueer wrote:
This is going to sound really weird but, if you have a vibrator (or anything that vibrates that you can safely put down there), using it in your anal area (either on the outside, or even inside if you don't mind sticking things up your butt) can help with constipation because it stimulates your rectum/colon to contract and push the poop out. I was constipated for a long time after I had major surgery a few years ago -- it was probably about a week, it felt like a hundred years! -- and finally my doc suggested I try this, and it (literally) saved my asparagus.

You know how the vagina is right next to the rectum? If one was to use a vibrator inside one's vagina, for pleasure purposes not relief of constipation, would it be likely to have this effect?

I have heard people reccommend using fingers inside the vagina, against the back wall of it, to sort of massage out stubborn poo.
You've now terrified me to experiment with vibrators, at least in the company of anyone else. I know they're meant to be better on the outer parts, but still...


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:56 am 
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I found that eating a lot of prunes and drinking warm tea helps with the constipation. With the warning of afterwards having to run a LOT.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 10:08 am 
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Im cured. Smooth move, but after 7 hrs nothing happened so I had 4 prunes, beer, and tea a little apart. I couldnt finish my tea before having to go. And then this morning for good measure, I had green tea and 4 prunes and coffee. Im definitely cured after that.


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