| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:56 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 866 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 2:05 am 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 4393
Location: fjordfjord
Yeah, wow. You can definitely find some one more worthy your time, ashley.

_________________
ॐ लोकः समासतः सुखिनो भवन्तु
http://www.embracingtheworld.org


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:23 am 
Offline
Heart of Vegan Marshmallow
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3052
Location: Sacramento
Thanks guys. I got super offended and wasn't sure if I was being irrational or taking it the wrong way. But I think there's really no other way to take that.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:43 am 
Offline
Lactose Intolerant...Literally

Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:26 pm
Posts: 727
Location: Baltimore/Washington
It's not his fault if blood grosses him out, but it is fault that he acted like a jerk about it. I agree with everyone else that you should ditch him and find someone else.
Also, it really peas me off when guys try to "guide" my head towards their cork. The first time i was with my current partner he did that, and i immediately pushed his hand away. He learned his lesson right away. Don't get me wrong, i love giving head, but i do it on my own terms. I can't feel comfortable doing it unless i am completely in control of the depth and everything. Personally i don't see why anyone would think it is a good idea to shove something with teeth and a gag reflex onto their man parts.
I always get really horny right after my period, which ended sunday. But my boy is super busy and sad cos he has too much schoolwork and not enough money and feels nauseous all the time. So no sex for me :(

_________________
lack toast intolerant: intolerant of not having toast


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 11:02 am 
Offline
Because Bob Barker Told Me To
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 933
Location: Albany, NY
My local FWB has been texting me ridiculously hott things all morning... but we can't meet up til Friday. Oof.

_________________
Departure & Arrival: Photoblog
Navigator, Equator: Personal blog
My freelance writing website
Dear Nora: My cat's advice column (really)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:07 pm 
Offline
Banned from Vegan Freaks.
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:59 pm
Posts: 361
annabazoo wrote:
Also, it really peas me off when guys try to "guide" my head towards their cork. The first time i was with my current partner he did that, and i immediately pushed his hand away. He learned his lesson right away.

Yes, this. Someone did this to me, so I said no and then he was really mean about it. Way to ruin any positive feelings I might have about you, dude.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:12 pm 
Offline
Heart of Vegan Marshmallow
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3052
Location: Sacramento
peanut wrote:
annabazoo wrote:
Also, it really peas me off when guys try to "guide" my head towards their cork. The first time i was with my current partner he did that, and i immediately pushed his hand away. He learned his lesson right away.

Yes, this. Someone did this to me, so I said no and then he was really mean about it. Way to ruin any positive feelings I might have about you, dude.

Where do they get the idea that this is okay behavior? Anyone with a penis want to chime in here? Because I don't get it. Is it a porn thing?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:19 pm 
Offline
Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:29 pm
Posts: 6072
Location: Land of Maple and Beavers
I had someone do that to me and get super pissed when I didn't oblige, now he is a feminist studies PhD candidate. Irony?

_________________
Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:23 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:07 pm
Posts: 1355
Location: Berlin
ashley wrote:
peanut wrote:
annabazoo wrote:
Also, it really peas me off when guys try to "guide" my head towards their cork. The first time i was with my current partner he did that, and i immediately pushed his hand away. He learned his lesson right away.

Yes, this. Someone did this to me, so I said no and then he was really mean about it. Way to ruin any positive feelings I might have about you, dude.

Where do they get the idea that this is okay behavior? Anyone with a penis want to chime in here? Because I don't get it. Is it a porn thing?

It's definitely a porn thing. I kinda used to watch a lot of porn when I was very mentally ill (that sounds wrong, I just mean, I did it when I felt very low and wanted to feel even worse) and that's pretty much in every porn made past 2000s that isnt under the "female-friendly" category. The fact that such a category even needs to exists...

_________________
http://www.veganinberlin.com
"Money ain't got no owners, only spenders." - Omar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:24 pm 
Offline
Banned from Vegan Freaks.
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:59 pm
Posts: 361
There must be people who aren't bothered by it, or who go along with it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:25 pm 
Offline
Because Bob Barker Told Me To
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 933
Location: Albany, NY
I actually don't mind the head-guiding thing. I think it's just a way for someone to communicate what they want while sexin' is happening, and a lot of people are weirded out about verbalizing what they want. That being said, it's obviously only okay if the person isn't an a-hole if they are refused.

_________________
Departure & Arrival: Photoblog
Navigator, Equator: Personal blog
My freelance writing website
Dear Nora: My cat's advice column (really)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:30 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:07 pm
Posts: 1355
Location: Berlin
My own post just made me think about how forked up my feelings about sex are. It's so integrated with shame and fear and really really bad feelings due to abuse. But I still sex. And I love my boyfriend a lot. I just wish I wouldn't have to go back and forth between this shiitake :(

_________________
http://www.veganinberlin.com
"Money ain't got no owners, only spenders." - Omar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:34 pm 
Offline
I Wanna Dip My Balls In It
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:37 pm
Posts: 3334
Location: idontevenknowanymore
peanut wrote:
There must be people who aren't bothered by it, or who go along with it.

shrug. there are. consent beforehand makes that way more fun to deal with though, and it's not a difficult conversation to have.

similarly, some people like to be, say, slapped or choked (excuse any judgment on being 'healthy', please) but that's not something you really want to surprise somebody with

consent and communication are pretty amazing, really

_________________
reap/sow, risk/reward


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:39 pm 
Offline
Dr Bronners, MD
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:08 pm
Posts: 4871
Location: WV
joshua wrote:

consent and communication are pretty amazing, really


Truth. My dude likes to do some light hair pulling and biting, but we were at least 6 months in before it got introduced, and then it was tentative until I made it clear that I was cool with it. (I like a little pain with my pleasure, so it's all good.) But if someone was yanking my hair around and biting me hard the first time I was with them, without them asking first, I would so not be ok with that.

_________________
But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:39 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:07 pm
Posts: 1355
Location: Berlin
Do you have discussions about everything you are going to do beforehand? I don't mean it to sound snarky, I'm just wondering about this myself. I'm very shy with talking about sex. It took my boyfriend ages to figure some "weirded" stuff out that I like, because why would he if I don't say it but am too shy to say so.

_________________
http://www.veganinberlin.com
"Money ain't got no owners, only spenders." - Omar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:45 pm 
Offline
Heart of Vegan Marshmallow
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3052
Location: Sacramento
I'm just trying to imagine grabbing a guy's head and shoving it toward my crotch with no notice. It seems sort of ridiculous. If I wanted someone to go down on me I'd probably... just... ask? And assume he had enough control over his own head to get there on his own?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:58 pm 
Offline
Banned from Vegan Freaks.
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:59 pm
Posts: 361
I don't think a discussion is necessary, but it's nice to check in with your partner from time to time and make sure everything is okay. It is also nice to know that saying no won't warrant a shit-fit.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:58 pm 
Offline
I Wanna Dip My Balls In It
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:37 pm
Posts: 3334
Location: idontevenknowanymore
VeganinBerlin wrote:
Do you have discussions about everything you are going to do beforehand? I don't mean it to sound snarky, I'm just wondering about this myself. I'm very shy with talking about sex. It took my boyfriend ages to figure some "weirded" stuff out that I like, because why would he if I don't say it but am too shy to say so.

most things get brought up, yeah. not a full discussion, but getting a 'yes'/'no' is alwaaaays better that just jumping in

not kissing (duh), but for me most things beyond that are worth bringing up. being in the moment and asking "ready to be forked?" is hot/explicit/consensual. everyone wins!

bigger things usually get brought up at other times for more talking..often framed like "what gets you off?". I'm a pretty open book about it (and, well, my whole life) though, so I don't have a problem. and if there's a way I can make a partner happier/more satisfied/etc, then I'm 100% all for it

that said, I asked a lady about going down on her and she kind of stared at me like 'uhhh who would say no to that?'. better to be safe though hey

_________________
reap/sow, risk/reward


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 2:29 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:07 pm
Posts: 1355
Location: Berlin
-

_________________
http://www.veganinberlin.com
"Money ain't got no owners, only spenders." - Omar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 2:34 pm 
Offline
Because Bob Barker Told Me To
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 933
Location: Albany, NY
ashley wrote:
I'm just trying to imagine grabbing a guy's head and shoving it toward my crotch with no notice. It seems sort of ridiculous. If I wanted someone to go down on me I'd probably... just... ask? And assume he had enough control over his own head to get there on his own?

Right. But a LOT of people are confident/comfortable enough to ask for what they want during sex.

I'm personally super into communication and have no problem asking for what I want/need during sexin', but I have definitely been with a fair amount of dudes who had a hard time with it. And in those situations, I was happy that they chose to "show" me what they wanted, rather than having an unfulfilling experience. When I say this though, what I mean is that someone has put their hand on top of my head and lightly guided me to the region-- I'm not talking about someone shoving my head anywhere. And in these moments, it was always consensual.

If you don't want to be performing oral, or if the person is being an a-hole about it, or forcing your head down, then it's a totally different thing.

_________________
Departure & Arrival: Photoblog
Navigator, Equator: Personal blog
My freelance writing website
Dear Nora: My cat's advice column (really)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:07 pm 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7254
Location: Portland, OR
I don't have much time to type something out here but let's just say I have a lot to say about this new line of discussion. But most importantly before I can get into it, I want to quickly say it's absolutely not a "porn thing". More at 11, now here's Tony with the Weather!

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:06 am 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7254
Location: Portland, OR
Things that people do in porn are only in porn because they are things that people like and do, they wouldn't put stuff in porn that was something humans haven't already been doing. While I absolutely think that if someone does that, gets told how it's not cool, and then acts offended; of course that's bullshiitake behavior. But during sex, a lot of people find it very arousing to play with power/dominance, for a lot of people probably fairly subconsciously. That's a very big turn-on to many people, both the forcing of someone's body and the being forced. And since it sounds like their forcing of your head to their junk was not such that you couldn't fairly easily get out of it to tell them how you did not like that, it's not at the level where I personally think prior consent was necessarily needed. If they wanted to start doing it in a way that was rough then we definitely get into prior consent territory. I'm big into talking about things and getting consent as well, but I think when two people consent to have sex with each other to begin with, is it not expected that there's going to be some reasonable grabby excited hands? Just be okay with being told 'no' obviously, and respect that boundary once it's been made.

I personally love having my head forcibly & roughly pushed into one's crotch. And I also love doing it to my partner.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:29 am 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 4393
Location: fjordfjord
I'm a lady, and definitely had trouble verbalizing anything sexual I wanted before my current dude. (Actions are fine, but I have Issues™ with most of the English names for ladyparts and guyparts, and don't yet know names that I like in other languages, and that made talking about stuff awkward, so I didn't.) My current dude is really into asking before he does anything, and I find it so hot that I picked up the behavior myself. We met on OKC and one of our first conversations was about the kind of things we like in bed --- at first that stunned me, and left me a bit uncomfortable, but now that we've been in bed together, I totally get why he wanted that conversation so early. Having ideas, and consenting to those ideas, is hottttt.

re: subconscious power/dominance. Yeah, I can see that, Mars. For me anything 'subconscious' or 'unconscious' is a huge turn off, and having any of my anything forced anywhere would be bad news for everyone involved. I think I'd rather err on the side of 'too respectful' than 'not respectful enough' and work it out over time like allularpunk said she and her dude did.

_________________
ॐ लोकः समासतः सुखिनो भवन्तु
http://www.embracingtheworld.org


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:40 am 
Offline
Dr Bronners, MD
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:08 pm
Posts: 4871
Location: WV
Yeah, we didn't discuss much beforehand, except maybe anal. That always still gets asked if it's ok before it happens, and if I say no (maybe I'm just not into that day) it's no big deal. We've talked about some future stuff that we're not quite ready for (adding toys, etc), and I imagine that when the time comes, we'll stop 'joking' (we're not really joking, but sometimes the conversation is jokey) about it, and just do it. But the other stuff just got worked out as we went.

_________________
But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:04 am 
Offline
Banned from Vegan Freaks.
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:59 pm
Posts: 361
So I guess, as I suspected, it is as simple as 'different strokes'. Also, I think it bears repeating, it's really important that saying no is okay, especially because not every no is a hard no.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:35 pm 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:43 pm
Posts: 3257
Location: mt. pleasant
i remember dating someone who tried to choke me out. i told him it wasn't my bag - i'm pretty good at being vocal/advocating for myself while congressing. Then! Then he proceeded to try to convince me that I did like it! Cray cray right?

Anyways I just had a crazy fever induced sexy dream about my boyfriend. I was watching a pornographic film and then suddenly we were the people in the film. I've never dreamed about him!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 866 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer