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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:23 pm 
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I Wanna Dip My Balls In It
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peanut wrote:
saying no is okay, especially because not every no is a hard no.

wait, what?

unless you've otherwise agreed as such (safeword, etc) then 'no' should very much be 'no' without question. anyone that defies that is a croissant.

the omission of a 'yes' might still be a 'yes' though, if that's what you mean?

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:35 pm 
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I read that as, sometimes "no" doesn't mean "no definitely not ever", but sometimes "not today" or "not like this but maybe like this"?

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:47 pm 
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I read it as, sometimes someone may not say "no" forcefully, but it still means "no," and that "no" should be taken seriously.


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:12 pm 
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I think Morgyn is on the right track, which makes more sense in the greater picture. I was just thinking about being in the moment

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:46 pm 
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Morgyn is right. Sorry for the confusion.


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:33 am 
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Yay for No's! And also yay for Yes's!

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:07 am 
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Zactly Mars!

(Also, allularpunk? Beat your record last night. :P )

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:54 am 
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lutin wrote:

(Also, allularpunk? Beat your record last night. :P )


High five!

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:54 pm 
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Mars wrote:
Things that people do in porn are only in porn because they are things that people like and do, they wouldn't put stuff in porn that was something humans haven't already been doing. While I absolutely think that if someone does that, gets told how it's not cool, and then acts offended; of course that's bullshiitake behavior. But during sex, a lot of people find it very arousing to play with power/dominance, for a lot of people probably fairly subconsciously. That's a very big turn-on to many people, both the forcing of someone's body and the being forced. And since it sounds like their forcing of your head to their junk was not such that you couldn't fairly easily get out of it to tell them how you did not like that, it's not at the level where I personally think prior consent was necessarily needed. If they wanted to start doing it in a way that was rough then we definitely get into prior consent territory. I'm big into talking about things and getting consent as well, but I think when two people consent to have sex with each other to begin with, is it not expected that there's going to be some reasonable grabby excited hands? Just be okay with being told 'no' obviously, and respect that boundary once it's been made.

I personally love having my head forcibly & roughly pushed into one's crotch. And I also love doing it to my partner.


I agree with all this. I was just speaking that it's personal pet peeve of mine. I don't get offended if my partner does it once, but i'd be pretty peased off if they kept trying after i made clear that i'm not into that. That's totally cool that you and other people enjoy it!
I think the need for consent is something that varies between partners. I'm very picky about receiving oral sex, so the only time it happens is when either me or my partner asks first. However, i very rarely ask when i give my partner oral sex. It's understood that he's totally down with it. That's something we figured out awhile ago, so it's not necessary to ask every time. Someone voiced earlier in this thread about asking a lady if she wanted oral, and her response was something like "Duh, of course!" For her, it wouldn't be necessary to ask. But for me, it would.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 1:57 am 
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I would 100% of the time rather ask and have someone say "duh, of course!", than to not ask.

Likewise, I would 100% of the time want someone to ask me before doing something that I want them to do, rather than just assuming that I want them to do it, even if I actually do want them to do it. The idea that someone would do something sexual with me without being absolutely certain that they have my consent is a very quick way to make me not want to do something that I originally would have been very interested in doing had they just asked me first.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:16 am 
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choirqueer wrote:
I would 100% of the time rather ask and have someone say "duh, of course!", than to not ask.

Likewise, I would 100% of the time want someone to ask me before doing something that I want them to do, rather than just assuming that I want them to do it, even if I actually do want them to do it. The idea that someone would do something sexual with me without being absolutely certain that they have my consent is a very quick way to make me not want to do something that I originally would have been very interested in doing had they just asked me first.

Absolutely agree with all of this. This is what I wanted to say but couldn't manage to say succinctly.


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:24 pm 
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The post-sex nap is a magical thing. No naps are more restful than the postcoital ones....

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:59 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
The post-sex nap is a magical thing. No naps are more restful than the postcoital ones....



Yesssss.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:56 am 
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So, I think this is the longest that I've ever had regular sex. Hormones are weird for a lot of reasons. Right now, it seems like they're weird for affecting my breasts. They seem .... different. Fuller, and heavier, even though the size is the same. Has that happened to anyone else? When it first started happening, I thought it might've been a side effect from my period (which is also different now), but afaik (or rather, can tell) it isn't.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:43 am 
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Today marks the end of my 10 month dry spell. Hello libido!


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:22 pm 
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I can't remember if I mentioned this, but even though we're still only having sex every 2 weeks or so, it's been so much better than it was for a while. Unfortunately, our problem seems to have reversed - now I can orgasm but M can't. :( Hopefully we'll sort things out soon.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:53 pm 
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Guyyyyyyyysssssssssssss my libido is going crazy. After my break up a month ago, I wanted to go without for a while, like I was thinking... a good long while? I don't know really. But I can't. I've been masturbating like crazy but it doesn't satiate! Fucccckkkkk. I went onto my old website haunts but I'm feeling so 'meh' about the responses I get, nothing I feel like even remotely interests me. Dang blast it!

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:44 am 
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Nothing to worry about ya'll, I got my 'situation' 'taken care of'. :} And it was.. quite! enjoyable!

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 12:27 am 
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So here you are, reading the PPK and all of a sudden you see that Mars has a new post in the Human Sexual Response thread! How excited you are as you expect to hear tales of a wild and vast sex life. But you are shocked to find that this is not a tale of sex, in fact, it is a tale of no-sex!

I spent a lot of time doing some deep soul-searching while I was on my queer camping trip... and I've decided I'm going to be intentionally celiabte for a while. I'm actually really excited about it. I've never ever ever been intentionally celibate.

Here's the thing. So, all my sexual encounters since my break-up with Unicorn have been... Well. Hmm. So I guess you are going to hear some tales after all.

This one in the post above was very fun, but more in a way that was like, there was something in particular that I had not experienced, I wanted to experience it, I did, and I am thankful for that. But, the personal interaction was super odd. And the whole encounter I was in a headspace of "I'm glad I'm experiencing X" and not "a;skhdfshdglhdfgjbsg sex" like how it was when I was having a rich sex life.

The next one was with someone that in all ways I could ever think of and imagine is the 100% perfect guy for me. Vegan, trans, hot as fork, super kind, radical politics, etc., but yet I felt very disassociated. Again, my headspace was not sex headspace.

The next was sort of an experiment, I arranged sex with someone I have had sex with before multiple times, and whom I have quite enjoyed having sex with. Well, it accomplished triggering 'completion' in me, which none of the other times did, however, still, my headspace was not sex headspace. And it's not like the completion was that good anyhow.

So, then, on my camping trip (which was full to the brim with sexy queers looking to have a sexy wild time), I made so many sweet connections with people, ones that I could have easily pushed them to a sexual direction, but I... just didn't feel like it. I felt like hugging them, holding their hand, telling them how much I appreciated them all. So that's what I did.

I'm thinking now, honestly these feelings are similar to the ones I felt when I ended things with Unicorn. I very suddenly felt that I just did NOT want to have sex with her, I did NOT want to even make out (which I also do not want to do now).

It's funny too, because it comes at a time when I feel sexier than I've ever felt, I am loving the fork out of my body, feeling hardly any trace of the shame that has been a pretty constant thing in my life.

I do however, still want to cuddle! Hehe.

I wonder if I was trying to force sex and relationships on myself because it distracted from the shame and insecurities?

And this concludes my dissertation.

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 6:53 am 
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i think i'm going to cry. it seemed like you were the only one getting any on a regular basis.

(however, more seriously, good for you! it's so nice to hear that shame has gotten booted right out.)

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 10:55 am 
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That is great Mars. And thank you for sharing the decision making process! I hope that you get lots of cuddles and do whatever is best for you!

After a lull in sexytimes, my guy and I are back at it with gusto! Not quite daily, but almost! I need lots now since I'll be gone for two months this summer!


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 10:27 pm 
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Mars gives up sex and this room goes quiet?! I can't be the only one having awesome sexytimes... right?

Anyway, I have less than 2 weeks to enjoy as much sex with my guy as I can before I leave on another trip. This one will only be two months so it won't be as bad as last time... and I'll see him once during it.


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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 9:01 am 
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I am not much for sharing this kind of thing, but I'll say that I am very pleased with my sex life! :)

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 3:57 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
I am not much for sharing this kind of thing, but I'll say that I am very pleased with my sex life! :)


^ what she said!!

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 Post subject: Re: human sexual response
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 7:46 pm 
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wooo! Me three! That being said - love my dude, we've been together a year and still have sex every day but I keep fantasizing about lady sex. I don't want to change anything but really miss girl play. Kind of a weird thing to bring up because that sparks inadequacy issues and that's not the case at all. Just wonder if you folks have experienced that and how you've dealt with it or broached it with your partners. Thanks and keep on keeping on.

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