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 Post subject: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:55 am 
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Lime and a Coconut
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Here's a little thing I did for MoFo called TJ Gourmet- I was inspired by an article that did a similar thing with ingredients solely from corner liquor stores. Of course I have a few more ingredients to work with at Trader Joe's, but I still liked the concept of taking a $2 meal and making it look like I could charge $17 for it. Plus making up all the bullshiitake menu descriptions was a lot of fun! Without further delay, hand over your gold card and dig in:

Amuse Bouche: Pan-fondled coconut coq au mirepoix sheltering on a petite flotsam of Persian flatbread

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Appetizer: Minced Asian crudite in a gyoza purse, roosting on a trio of hand-selected edamame in a nest of toasted coconut shavings, revered by a crescent of shoyu dewdrops and a whimsy of scallion.

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1st Course: Medallions of maize, courgette, and pulse enchiladas anointed in a dusky chile mole and a coriander tiara

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2nd Course: Char-grilled filet of bean curd on a pillow of albino maize pearlettes,
choux juliennes taunted with lime essence and coulis hollandais.

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Dessert: Gluten-free toaster waffle and vanilla soy ice cream sandwich with a coronet of Speculoos cookie butter, buoyantly ensconced by an exuberance of re-hydrated raspberry and Cabernet reduction

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:04 am 
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Just Loathin' Around!
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Most excellent. I especially like the whimsy of scallion.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:08 am 
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No-pants hermit 4 lyfe
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bwahaa coriander tiara! everything about this is rad as balls. i am clearly not classy enough for your mofo.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:14 am 
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Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
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Every bit of this looks amazing and I love the descriptions.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:47 am 
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Not NOT A Furry

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I want all of my food to have dewdrops of shoyu from now on. That all looks amazing.


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:48 am 
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Bathes in Braggs
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Genius. I have such a hard time coming up with fancy names for dishes, this is brilliant.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:34 pm 
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She's No Isa Chandra!
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Bahahaha, his is fantastic!

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:36 pm 
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Lactose Intolerant...Literally
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That dessert sounds fabulous!


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:58 pm 
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This is so excellent.

I kind of want "taunted with lime essence" on a shirt.


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:06 pm 
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love this. the descriptions are most excellent.


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:07 pm 
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Best theme evar

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:37 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Brilliant and hilarious. I would love a degustation a la Traiteur J.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Lime and a Coconut
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Thank you everyone! My only regret was that I didn't get to shoehorn some type of 'foam' in there. I had fun with this one, I might do it again next year. Any excuse to make a cocktail with Emergen-C and Vodka of the Gods, really.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:44 pm 
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you are a genius!

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 7:02 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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acr wrote:
bwahaa coriander tiara! everything about this is rad as balls. i am clearly not classy enough for your mofo.


i love "rad as balls".

also, i love your theme! so fancy sounding 'n looking, and it's all so in expensive.

i'm with panda, i especially love "whimsy of scallion".


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:53 pm 
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Smuggling Raisins

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Your descriptions are the best.


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 9:01 pm 
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A Whimsy of Scallion is my new band name.


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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:01 am 
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Lime and a Coconut
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madeleine.teacup wrote:
A Whimsy of Scallion is my new band name.

New split 7" with Balsamic Foam drops this December!

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:14 am 
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Seriously, whimsy.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 1:42 am 
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I laughed so hard reading this! Well done :D

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:26 am 
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this is so totally wonderful. I love your excellent plating techniques!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:02 pm 
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That's amazing! Your descriptions are almost as awesome as the food looks!

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:43 pm 
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Oh my god I almost hurt myself reading those descriptions. BRILLIANT.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 7:38 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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This is fantastic! So cool to see what you can do with simple things. But, your descriptions do beat all.

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 Post subject: Re: Fancy nouveau cuisine from Trader Joe's ingredients
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 9:58 am 
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Your descriptions are hilarious and amazing; worthy of Posh Nosh!


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