Post Punk Kitchen Forum

A favorite nephew is celebrating graduation. They are having a pig roast :( :( in his honor.

As you can probably tell, our family is extremely anti-vegan. They hadn't heard of veganism until we went vegan, and they were against it at first, and have gotten progressively worse.

We are uspet because we want to be there for him, but don't think we can. WWPPKD?

I'd practice stoic faces and just go, possibly leave early if you can invent a suitable reason. since you have a close relationship with this nephew, I think the importance of his day trumps your discomfort even though people are jerks about your choices.

I just went to my students' graduation and was actually thinking about family a lot today. I never went to any of mine and wouldn't have had any extended family attend (or care one way or the other) even if I had. It's special to have that, so go, give him a hug, some cool loot and avoid the poor pig.

Check some of the answers on this this thread.

My answer is different here. Family event trumps a work event--much easier to blow that off. Actually my answer is different than if it were a general event like Thanksgiving since that revolves around food.

Honestly, if it were my favorite nephew, I'd go for 30 minutes max - before the eating/looking at the roasting pig started. Yes, I know it'll be smelly since it's a pig roast, but you don't have to stick around. Just say hi and congrats to your nephew, maybe ask if he wanted to hang out together another day as a separate celebration with you since you can't stay long, and then get out.

Yeah, I said no way to the work pig roast but I'd suck it up for awhile for a favorite nephew. I'd go armed with a good excuse to leave early. Hopefully you can get out of there before it gets too gross.

I'd ask the nephew how he feels. Does he want you there, or would he be happy if you take him out for a nice dinner to congratulate him?

Once again, Tofulish is wise. I would talk to him, let him know how proud you are, and that you want to celebrate but maybe in a different venue. Anyone close will be able to be honest with you about their wishes.

Damn, Tofulish. That's such an obvious solution it wasn't obvious.

Pig roasts are hard, especially if it is a smaller party because usually the pig is right there. A larger party, you can stay further away. If I went at all, it'd be a very short time. Otherwise, I would totally offer to take him out to eat another time.

Fixed that for you :) I hope your back feels better soon <3

Yes, do this. The important people here are you and your nephew, and he might be more understanding of the situation than the rest of your extended family. And if he really does want you to go, at least you'll have it straight from him.

First is true. Second I'll have to take your word on.

Thanks for all the great advice.

We're probably going to stop by, *quickly* congratulate him, make a date for dinner at a later date, move on and try to forget the whole horriffic event. We'll explain our short visit later! But he's a smart kid, I'm sure he'll have already figured on that.

Lavawitch, feel better soon!

I absolutely agree. That way you treat him like an adult (which he is, since he's graduating) and allow him to make a mature, informed choice.

It's a somewhat different scenario, but in the past few years my partner has had a couple of senior colleagues retire, with whom he's been very friendly. In each case, and the formal reception/dinner thingies the department gave for them were very meat centric, so he volunteered to take them out for a nice dinner at a later date. In the event, these proved to be much more pleasant and personal occasions, because there was an opportunity to spend some proper time talking and hanging out with them, instead of being one of 50 people at some stupid steakhouse.

I just want to know what is up with all of the pig roasts lately? Is this a popular thing? I guess I assumed people didn't do that anymore since I've never heard of people attending one.

I completely understand. My son graduated middle school Friday, and Ex and wife decided Joe's Crab Shack was the place to go (grrrr). I was able to find a few sides, that I made requests on, and they were surprisingly accommodating. But I felt like I needed to support him, even though some of the adults chose crabs to rip apart (gulp vomit).

Anyway, if you feel the need to support your fave nephew, I suspect it would likely mean the world to him to have you there- but the idea of taking him out to a different venue is a really good one! As Mom, I really really could not get away with it... but as Auntie you have a better selection of choices. Good luck! I am sure you will do fine.

Me too!
I went to a graduation party a few weekends ago and walked into roast pig situation. My friend whos party it was did not warn me. Luckily they didnt roast it themselves so it wasnt smelly. I just exited the room and spent the whole party outside. I was not expecting to face that! I might not have gone if I knew.

I would probably suck it up and go to a party for family though.

I guess I'll be the jerk that says I wouldn't go. I'd take the nephew out for a meal at another date as Desdemona suggested.

Voice of Raisin is mad classy.

I've been thinking about this a bit more, and I realize that there's probably no way I could stomach (no pun intended) being in the same place with a whole, dead animal being roasted on a stick - it's disgusting and barbaric. I know I'd find it too upsetting and A. say something rude, B. start crying and/or vomiting, or C. all of the above. Definitely a nice, quiet dinner at an another venue.Well, there's that, and there's also the fact that he really hates to be surrounded by gross, stinky meat while going hungry because there's nothing to eat but some crummy iceberg lettuce "salad" and (maybe) a roll!

I know you already read all these and have gone (would like to hear how it went!) but here is what I would do:

I would try to be there AFTER the food is over, to say hi, congrats etc. Let him know you will be there late. And yes of course ask to go to a private dinner later!

When I am invited to food stuff, like BBQ's, I try to find out when they eat, then show up AFTER that. I mean, usually people don't just leave right afterwards. "oh, you are eating at noon? darn, I have a car appointment I just can't miss. We will be there around 1pm ok?"

I am so passive agressive. Maybe not the best advice.

I do see the point about the smell. I can't go to the Chinese market under the Flushing train station in Queens without gagging, because it smells like the roasted meats sold there. Even the thought of it is making me gaggy. So yeah, I wouldn't go if it is going to be superstinky.

An acquaintance of ours has a tiny farm where they raise organic pigs and cows and slaughter them for their own consumption and that of their friends. They have a huge pig roast every year, and I can't go, even though it would be a great way to connect with friends. I also find it insane that they raise these animals from babies, know them as individuals, take great care of them and still manage to kill them and eat them. I couldn't do it. It would be as gross as eating my dog. The guy and his wife are super-sweet hippie types that talk about honoring the animal's spirit yadayadayada, but will still eat factory farmed meat "because their spirits need to be honored too, no matter what they suffered in life."

Actually, it's next Saturday. We've RSVP'd no for now, husband explained how upset it will make us. Mom doesn't understand, (Haven't you ever been to a pig roast???? <----- no commment), but nephew understands. I think it will be nice to take him out to 3 Brothers pizzeria in Rockville center and show him some real food!

I'm hearing about this going on at work with several people. "Hunting season" is bad enough, now this. They are not super sweet though, they really seem to enjoy it. Double ugh. I'd have to run out of the room every second to avoid it. I still try, though.