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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:19 am 
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strawberryrock wrote:
lillianp wrote:
I don't know how to tell the girl I've had a few dates with that I don't want to date her. Turns out my brain's pretty darn screwy at the moment and I get into a panic about letting someone close. And she's clingy and accidentally guilt-tripping. I don't want to be the arse who just stops responding, but I hate that she's going to have to come in to Boston (she lives in the far 'burbs) for me to have to tell her. Gah.


I feel like, unless you're actually in a committed relationship, telling someone on the phone is totally fine, and maybe actually better. I mean, I was in a (brief) committed relationship not that long ago, and when she was like, uuuh yeah I don't know about plans this weekend, I think we should talk, let's get coffee I was like dude, don't make me make a special trip to a coffee shop to get dumped please.

there was a savage love column about this the other week. a guy wrote in because he was dumped via text by a girl he was really into. savage basically said what y'all've already said: getting dumped sucks, no matter how it's done. and using modern technologies (text, phone, email) to dump someone is more of a norm nowadays and not the socially unacceptable thing it once was.

in ME news, i've been talking to a boy on OKC who's pretty cute and VEGAN!! he lives far away from me, though. his band is playing in the city in a couple weeks, so we might meet up then. i've really been enjoying our little emails. hopefully he doesn't read this forum; i'm not very clever with my internet disguises.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:10 am 
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chouettes crêpes wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
lillianp wrote:
I don't know how to tell the girl I've had a few dates with that I don't want to date her. Turns out my brain's pretty darn screwy at the moment and I get into a panic about letting someone close. And she's clingy and accidentally guilt-tripping. I don't want to be the arse who just stops responding, but I hate that she's going to have to come in to Boston (she lives in the far 'burbs) for me to have to tell her. Gah.


I feel like, unless you're actually in a committed relationship, telling someone on the phone is totally fine, and maybe actually better. I mean, I was in a (brief) committed relationship not that long ago, and when she was like, uuuh yeah I don't know about plans this weekend, I think we should talk, let's get coffee I was like dude, don't make me make a special trip to a coffee shop to get dumped please.

there was a savage love column about this the other week. a guy wrote in because he was dumped via text by a girl he was really into. savage basically said what y'all've already said: getting dumped sucks, no matter how it's done. and using modern technologies (text, phone, email) to dump someone is more of a norm nowadays and not the socially unacceptable thing it once was.

in ME news, i've been talking to a boy on OKC who's pretty cute and VEGAN!! he lives far away from me, though. his band is playing in the city in a couple weeks, so we might meet up then. i've really been enjoying our little emails. hopefully he doesn't read this forum; i'm not very clever with my internet disguises.


Email sent. Thank you guys so much. I didn't want to seem like a coward just emailing (I still feel like texting would be too casual for her and I don't want to hurt her more than necessary), but obviously, I don't want to make the hurt more.

Chouettes Crepes, that's awesome!!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 4:39 pm 
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Yeah, sometimes an email can save you the soul sucking embarrassment of being dumped face to face. All depends on how serious things are, I think for not very long term it's fine.

shiitake got weird and I had to block the guy I knew when I was 17. I'm flat out with work, neck injury and have had two friends suffer bereavements in the past two weeks, I really have no interest in other people's strangeness.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:50 am 
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Well, I guess Denver guy and I weren't meant to be. Emailed him 2 days ago letting him know I had a good time and would love to stay in touch with no reply. Especially interesting since he couldn't seem to keep his hands off me on our date. Whatever. I'm about to throw this dating garbage out the window.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:55 am 
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Sorry ScooterDiva!

I snarked the shiitake outta my profile this morning, if anyone wants to see it PM me. Being open and direct about the type of person I'd like to meet is just attracting the opposite, so I decided to run with it. Think I'm giving my profile one last dying breath before I give up.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:24 am 
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fezza wrote:
Yeah, sometimes an email can save you the soul sucking embarrassment of being dumped face to face. All depends on how serious things are, I think for not very long term it's fine.

shiitake got weird and I had to block the guy I knew when I was 17. I'm flat out with work, neck injury and have had two friends suffer bereavements in the past two weeks, I really have no interest in other people's strangeness.



Yes, turns out to be a good decision all over. She responded two minutes after I emailed correcting me on my sexual orientation, telling me she didn't tolerate people playing games and uh, strongly hinting that that's what I was doing (if not texting as much/responding to as many texts but still agreeing to go out is considered playing games, I guess I was playing games? Unintentional to say the least). So while mad at her response, I chose not to respond and am really really glad I missed that crazy train. (In my perception, obviously)

ScooterDiva, I'm so sorry that happened to you that sucks.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 4:37 pm 
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i'm sorry, too, scooter diva.

that's rough, lillianp, but i think you're making a mature decision there.

going out with a guy tomorrow night who's a comedian of all things. he's been really communicative so far, which i really dig.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:11 pm 
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Thanks all. It apparently wasn't meant to be, but you could have fooled me by his behavior.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:15 pm 
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fezza wrote:
Sorry ScooterDiva!

I snarked the shiitake outta my profile this morning, if anyone wants to see it PM me. Being open and direct about the type of person I'd like to meet is just attracting the opposite, so I decided to run with it. Think I'm giving my profile one last dying breath before I give up.


I'd do ya. You are so adorable!

While I was stalking you, I got a message from someone. Now, who messages a basically blank profile?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:26 pm 
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Vantine wrote:
fezza wrote:
Sorry ScooterDiva!

I snarked the shiitake outta my profile this morning, if anyone wants to see it PM me. Being open and direct about the type of person I'd like to meet is just attracting the opposite, so I decided to run with it. Think I'm giving my profile one last dying breath before I give up.


I'd do ya. You are so adorable!

While I was stalking you, I got a message from someone. Now, who messages a basically blank profile?

My OKC profile is completely blank because I just made it to creep on PPKers' profiles. I guess I must have put that I was in a relationship, but pretty much nothing else. I got a message a couple of weeks ago from a married senior citizen who was hoping that my being in a relationship didn't preclude a little somethin'-somethin' on the side. No mention of whether or not his wife was OK with it. I don't remember his email address, but it involved the word 'custard' and I did not answer it.

Oh, I remember... it was 'cuminaround@...' Given the content of his message, I'm pretty sure that's not a reference to a spice.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:40 pm 
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monkeytoes wrote:
Vantine wrote:
fezza wrote:
Sorry ScooterDiva!

I snarked the shiitake outta my profile this morning, if anyone wants to see it PM me. Being open and direct about the type of person I'd like to meet is just attracting the opposite, so I decided to run with it. Think I'm giving my profile one last dying breath before I give up.


I'd do ya. You are so adorable!

While I was stalking you, I got a message from someone. Now, who messages a basically blank profile?

My OKC profile is completely blank because I just made it to creep on PPKers' profiles. I guess I must have put that I was in a relationship, but pretty much nothing else. I got a message a couple of weeks ago from a married senior citizen who was hoping that my being in a relationship didn't preclude a little somethin'-somethin' on the side. No mention of whether or not his wife was OK with it. I don't remember his email address, but it involved the word 'custard' and I did not answer it.

Oh, I remember... it was 'cuminaround@...' Given the content of his message, I'm pretty sure that's not a reference to a spice.

Do you have a picture up? I don't even have one of those! I left my education and parenting status on there because I figured that it would keep most men from messaging me.

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You people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:45 pm 
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Vantine wrote:
monkeytoes wrote:
Vantine wrote:
I'd do ya. You are so adorable!

While I was stalking you, I got a message from someone. Now, who messages a basically blank profile?

My OKC profile is completely blank because I just made it to creep on PPKers' profiles. I guess I must have put that I was in a relationship, but pretty much nothing else. I got a message a couple of weeks ago from a married senior citizen who was hoping that my being in a relationship didn't preclude a little somethin'-somethin' on the side. No mention of whether or not his wife was OK with it. I don't remember his email address, but it involved the word 'custard' and I did not answer it.

Oh, I remember... it was 'cuminaround@...' Given the content of his message, I'm pretty sure that's not a reference to a spice.

Do you have a picture up? I don't even have one of those! I left my education and parenting status on there because I figured that it would keep most men from messaging me.

No, no picture! I think I filled in the minimum amount of information possible. He was basically asking to have sex with a completely unknown entity.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:55 pm 
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OKC scares me. I only started the profile to stalk Fezza and DDA.

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You people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:06 pm 
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I like OKC. I've met plenty of really cool people from it.

Then again, as a guy I don't ever have creeps sending me unsolicited photos of their junk. Or really any creepy messages at all for that matter. I have been sent really cute pictures of bunnies, though.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:05 am 
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It's not that profile I pimped, although it needs it, it's t'other one. You don't need an account to see it. It got me the attention of an artist who I believe is veggie... also the attention of a caps lock guy who told me I was perfect and that he loves me already, with a smattering of text speak... which is just hilarious when you read my "looking for" paragraph.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:44 am 
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Eating crow. Denver guy emailed me back saying he had a great time too and let's keep in touch. I think I'm so used to getting the brushoff that it's a Pavlovian response now.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:58 am 
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Oh yaaaayy! Nice one SD!

I'm chatting to a fitttttt, funny guy who's into rock music & photography, the banter is great. He lives 80 miles away from me though *sobs*.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:34 pm 
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Thanks, fezza! I'm enjoying living vicariously through you and your dating adventures.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:54 am 
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OKC is going ok. I was about to delete my profile because no one was messaging me or returning my initial messages... but then I changed my about me section and have gotten three new messages in the last week, without changing anything else! weird, but I'm going with it. Usually when I write to someone first, I will make a comment about something on their profile and then ask a question; what am I doing wrong? (other than most of the girls seem to be "bi" and maybe just aren't really interested in other girls?)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:32 pm 
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I'm terrible at romance. The girl I've been seeing and I have been on, like, 7 or 8 dates. I like her a lot, and we've been seeing eachother a lot, so I asked if she wanted to start being exclusive. I guess it was too early for that? Oops.

But, we proceeded to get dinner and then spend the night together at my place, so I guess I can't have put her off that much.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:58 pm 
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Tea wrote:
I'm terrible at romance. The girl I've been seeing and I have been on, like, 7 or 8 dates. I like her a lot, and we've been seeing eachother a lot, so I asked if she wanted to start being exclusive. I guess it was too early for that? Oops.

But, we proceeded to get dinner and then spend the night together at my place, so I guess I can't have put her off that much.

I don't think that makes you terrible at romance. Some girls would say it was too early and others would have been wondering since date 3 what was taking you so long... (same with guys, of course.)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:22 pm 
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I have a story for the thePPK!

So I went on a date on Friday evening with a guy who's a comedian in his spare time and kinda pursuing that as a career. Honestly I wasn't expecting much; I just thought he seemed friendly in our email exchanges on OKC. Had dinner at a vegan restaurant I like, then ended up seeing one of his performances later that night. I listen to a lot of stuff from the what the fizzle podcast and I enjoyed his little act. Then we went out for drinks and accidentally had too much, so we chilled in the park and ended up goofing around and chatting till dawn. When the idea to go back to his place came up, I thought of fezza and her bravery and went with it. Got back home this afternoon. :)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:54 pm 
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fezza is an inspiration to everyone looking for a little something-something

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:20 pm 
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Invictus wrote:
fezza is an inspiration to everyone looking for a little something-something


+ 1million.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:22 pm 
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I feel like online dating is...working pretty well for me? But I don't want to jinx it.

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