Post Punk Kitchen Forum

I NEVER initiate hugs but I kind of like them.

True fact: The first time I met my bff jdfunks she told me that she didn't do hugs and then hugged me. And I was like, yeah, I don't either. Awkward.

I am that single non-hugger! I try to politely avoid hugs whenever possible - most of my friends are huggers though so I do get hugged against my will fairly regularly.

I wanna hug all yallz

I'm a hugger, my friend T(hai boxer) is not. He gave me a pity hug one night and I forced one on him for his birthday. I expect one for my birthday next week, then we're good til Christmas. He finds hugging needy, I tell him to STFU and squeeze. I'm a hug dominatrix.

One thing that I really don't like is people lightly touching my back below the shoulder, while standing behind me. When I was in high school, my brothers BFF since I was 11 decided he wanted to date me, and instead of just broaching the subject with me, he started touching me on my back, usually when holding the door open for me. I didn't understand why he was doing it but it became gradually more creepy until I would forking run through a door. I've had people do it innocently to move me out of the way, and I just want to punch them even though i'm pretty sure Brian's grandma doesn't want to have sex with me.

And then I made the mistake of telling a friend about it and she's done it a few times just to watch me dry heave.

I also don't shake hands because of my eczema, so hugging is one of the least offensive ways a person can greet me.

Ya know what, I touched somebody on the back of her shoulder once in a really crowded pizza place. And she freaked out at me. At the time I was pissed because I was thinking she was rude for being a bisque, but I guess I didn't look at it from her side. Some people just don't like to be touched by strangers. Which is fine and I understand. But what should I have done, just smashed into her and pushed her out of my way? I thought I was being polite by giving her the heads up that I was behind her and trying to get through. It was also very loud, so I was trying not to scream at her and everyone else in my way. I am used to being touched in crowds as a result of going to concerts and it doesn't bother me. But I need to remember that not everyone feels that way.

I feel you. My sister does this so much and it infuriates me. I don't think it's appropriate to just touch people willy-nilly, especially when you know it bothers them. If I need to get by someone, rather than touch them I just ask if I can get by them.

I can go either way on hugs. Sometimes they are nice and sometimes they are the last thing I want. If I want to hug someone or if they look like they might want one, I ask if they would like one. It might be awkward sometimes, but I think it's less awkward than hugging someone who doesn't want one.

That sucks. I'd do exactly what you did. In a crowded place where it is too loud to say "excuse me" there isn't really any alternative that I can think of.

I'm not too keen on hugs. Like at the funeral for T.'s grandpa we were just at, everyone hugged everyone. I just wanted to be not touched and be able to sit and grieve a bit, but everyone kept wanting to smoosh their body against mine.
That being said, cuddling with T. or animals is my favourite thing. I guess it's because he's My Favourite Human and animals are just Always Awesome. So, I don't know.

Also, I hate when people I don't really know rub/touch my back or grab my hands when they talk to me. Don't do that.

Reading this thread is giving me that visceral "Don't touch me, bleeechhh" feeling that I get when someone I don't know very well tries to hug me. I guess I'm really averse to it.

We have Puddy sandwiches (me and Jay hugging with the cat in between) and they are the Best Hugs.

I think that lightly tapping someone on their shoulder or lower arm if you can't otherwise get their attention is fine. Mine is specific, and if you're not trying to creep on me the chances of hitting my 'auto face punch' spot is slim. The only time i've actually yelled at someone for touching me is I was at a party, talking to the hostess, and some guy wanted to read my tattoo so he came up and brushed my shirt strap aside. I turned around saying, "Who the fork...", and when this complete stranger explained what he was doing, I got even more mad. The hostess also yelled at him.

YES!!

I've been thinking about this more and I think I quite like hugging friends and family and partners, it's just the fakeness of having to hug almost-strangers or coworkers that bothers me. Affection is good but it shouldn't be thrown around all willy-nilly, in my opinion.

I do not hug co-workers unless we are really close. My boss hugs me every once in a while and I'm ok with it. But I don't hug anyone else in my office. This is really the first time I have worked in a co-ed professional place of business though, so it's a bit different. Before I mostly worked with all women and we would hug like crazy!

I get really jumpy when touched unexpectedly. I hate when people do that and I avoid doing it to other people at all costs. I would more likely stand and wait till I could get the person's attention verbally or from where they could see me, to avoid touching someone from behind when they're not expecting it. I will say "excuse me" with increasing volume several times, I will try to come around the person from another angle, I will walk all the way to another spot so I can get around a different way, or if all else fails I will just wait...but unless it's a life-or-death situation, I'm not gonna just tap or poke a stranger from behind. I realize it probably doesn't bother most people as much as it bothers me, but I know how much I hate it and I just couldn't imagine doing that to someone else.

I'm pretty patient, but I'm not that patient! If I need to get out of a crowd I'm either gonna push my way through it, or say excuse me a million times and give a touch if I have to as I'm trying to be polite and move past people. But I wouldn't wait!

I've got that fast paced, get the fork out of my way, north eastern attitude in me too much sometimes!

I'm the most awkward hugger ever. I don't mind hugs at all from people I know (including people from the internet that I "know"), or even coworkers at a holiday party. But, I don't really initiate well, and I'll do that thing where I kind of start lifting my arm, and end up doing a weird wave thing. I used to not be a hugger, so I try to read someone's body language, and if they just wave or if I extend a hand, and they don't go in for a hug, I'll do the same.

I don't mind someone tapping me to move, but I hate, hate, HATE the creepy extended touch on the back or waist. I've had coworkers do this to me, and it is not okay. There's a difference between touching someone's arm or hand when you're talking with your hands, and just...touching them and not letting go. Ugh.

My old boss used to tap me million times when she was talking to me, and one day I just flipped out and started screaming "Stop touching me!! Stop touching me!" I really meant to say "Could you please not do that?", but I just couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't stop, so I jokingly mentioned it to our HR person, and now everyone at work apologizes if they even tap me on the shoulder, but that isn't it at all. But, I also don't want to say "Please, touch me." because that's just weird, and...no.

Now I'm also realizing I'm weird about stranger touches. If someone touches my face, front, arms, legs....just no. TOTALLY inappropriate and wrong. If you touch my back or waist to get by, I melt into a puddle of fee-goo. I love it. I guess it's an extension of my secret hug love.

I'm a hugger. My mom's side of the family are kissers too. Every family member gets a quick peck and generally even on the lips. I'm always reminded of how weird that is when I'm not around them for awhile and then see them again.

I'm always unsure of when I hug my friends goodbye and then there is that one person that you only met once or twice and I'm not really sure if I should hug them, but then I feel it is more awkward not to hug them, if I just hugged all the other people in the room. Although I don't generally hug coworkers since I'm not that close to them.

I hate people touching me, too. Anywhere really bothers me and there's only a few people that I don't mind touching me. My most hated places are anywhere on my back and my knees. Who the hell thinks it's okay to touch other peoples knees?

At the house I used to live in at college, one of my housemates was super freaked out because we had another housemate who would sit or stand really close to her and just play with her hair. Running her fingers through it and just touching it. I always got freaked out watching her do it.

That's exactly the feeling I'm getting while reading this thread!

yeah, this is kind of how I feel sometimes. Like a fraudulent hugger!

Oh! I meant to say this before but I forgot...the other thing I really really really hate is when someone touches me while I'm coughing. For fork's SAKE. I don't need help coughing, I can do it all by myself! And I don't also need to have a panic attack while I'm doing it!

That made me think of this SNL skit:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/116553

I don't mind hugs, but I get enough cuddles and hugs from the BF, family, and close friends so I don't normally offer hugs regularly. I do prefer to hug those who are closest to me, but I will hug coworkers occasionally if there's something special going on. Otherwise, it's double high-fives all the way!

I don't like when random strangers touch me but that rarely happens unless I'm in a crowded place and someone's trying to get past me... and a little touch/tap on the shoulder/back doesn't bother me in that situation. I HATE when people TOUCH my hair. It's tangly and long, so you're bound to accidentally pull on some strands -- and my scalp is sensitive! And I always think its weird that some people want to touch my shoes because they've got the toe pockets on them (I wear vibram five fingers pretty much everyday)! You guys know shoes are dirty, right?