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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:20 pm 
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OK Cupid looking up! I've decided to cast a wider net and talking to two pretty stellar ladies in close-by cities (within five hours from where I live, erm). I guess that's what happens when you live in a place where it's hard to find ANYONE with similar interests. Probably won't meet either of them, but for now the email exchanging is exciting and it's fun getting to know different people :)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:25 pm 
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fezza wrote:
In RL, I'm pretty sure I'd like something more with one of my guy friends. I have no idea if he views me that way at all, I have my doubts. I'd happily suspend my dating site accounts if he gave me any indication that there was a chance of something happening at any point, buh.


You're so sexy! I bet he thinks naughty, naughty thoughts about you allatimes. Like the rest of us (fnerrrrrrrrrr) ::fapfapfapfapfap::

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:41 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
fezza wrote:
In RL, I'm pretty sure I'd like something more with one of my guy friends. I have no idea if he views me that way at all, I have my doubts. I'd happily suspend my dating site accounts if he gave me any indication that there was a chance of something happening at any point, buh.


You're so sexy! I bet he thinks naughty, naughty thoughts about you allatimes. Like the rest of us (fnerrrrrrrrrr) ::fapfapfapfapfap::


I do love you Tofulish! <3!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:20 pm 
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Weekend trip with cute guy from OKC went really well. I am really liking hanging out with him but at the same time it's going pretty slow and casual and I'm totally cool with that too. I am trying to screw up the courage to tell him that I like things how they are but if he is open to the possibility of more some day, then I am open to it, too...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:38 pm 
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papercuts wrote:
OK Cupid looking up! I've decided to cast a wider net and talking to two pretty stellar ladies in close-by cities (within five hours from where I live, erm). I guess that's what happens when you live in a place where it's hard to find ANYONE with similar interests. Probably won't meet either of them, but for now the email exchanging is exciting and it's fun getting to know different people :)


Too bad its not me! You must be writing SOMEONE is Asheville :)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:46 am 
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okcupid is bloody brilliant when you move somewhere new (and bigger)! So much attention, I'm loving it.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:43 am 
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lycophyte; I am! do you live in Asheville? It seems like the queer/liberal mecca of the South... i've resolved to try to get there some in the coming year. :) Knoxville pales in comparison


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:53 am 
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papercuts wrote:
lycophyte; I am! do you live in Asheville? It seems like the queer/liberal mecca of the South... i've resolved to try to get there some in the coming year. :) Knoxville pales in comparison



It so it! But Knoxville isn't sooooo bad. Ok maybe it is, but I know some cool people there anyway :p

If you aren't creepy, I have 2 available futons if you need a place to stay. If you are creepy, sorry they are booked. So what is your profile? I'm chroma2424.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:50 am 
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Ok PPK, do I 1) give up on online dating because I feel like I have messaged every girl in Portland, 2) keep on looking through matches even though the idea exhausts me, 3) come up with some strategy for meeting people in real life (this is unlikely as I really hate "talking to people"), or 4) cut my hair short and see if girls like me more. Or um rewrite my profile and see if girls message me? They never really do though.

Oh my OkCupid username is waterisdiamonds, by the way, so everyone ask me on dates.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:16 pm 
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So, my new idea for meeting people in real life is taking the 80s game Heart Throb I bought from goodwill in HS with pictures of "cute" boys in the late 80s, and personality cards. We are going to make a local version of this (with both boys and girls and anyone in between) with Asheville-rific personality cards. So, basically, I get to walk up to cute people and tell them they are cute! and it can be awkward but I have an excuse! Then I take their picture!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:25 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
Oh my OkCupid username is waterisdiamonds, by the way, so everyone ask me on dates.


Done.

Also, my vote would be for option #5 - Take a break for a while, so there'll be lots of new people later!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:14 pm 
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Impossibly fabulous dating game idea!
I am androgynousluv
I've been drifting in grad school-no-time-to-tie-my-shoes land, but I still want to meet cool people/make-out buddies! :) Ah, life.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:26 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
Ok PPK, do I 1) give up on online dating because I feel like I have messaged every girl in Portland, 2) keep on looking through matches even though the idea exhausts me, 3) come up with some strategy for meeting people in real life (this is unlikely as I really hate "talking to people"), or 4) cut my hair short and see if girls like me more. Or um rewrite my profile and see if girls message me? They never really do though.

Oh my OkCupid username is waterisdiamonds, by the way, so everyone ask me on dates.


I think you should keep it up, but maybe just put it on the back burner for a while and concentrate on doing stuff in real life that you like.

I also think you should date my sister, but unfortunately, she lives in Vancouver, BC.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:30 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
I also think you should date my sister, but unfortunately, she lives in Vancouver, BC.


It's cool, I have a passport!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:35 pm 
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papercuts wrote:
Impossibly fabulous dating game idea!
I am androgynousluv
I've been drifting in grad school-no-time-to-tie-my-shoes land, but I still want to meet cool people/make-out buddies! :) Ah, life.



Cute! You should in the very least come to Veganstock in a few weeks! viewtopic.php?f=14&t=20775

I'll buy you some velcro shoes @ goodwill.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:30 pm 
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I gave up on OkC and deactivated my account. The only good thing to ever come out of OkC for me was ESL Teacher, and he broke my heart, and yet continues to be the only person I have feelings for. The longer we've been broken up, the stronger my feelings seem to be getting, instead of lesser. BALLS.

I figure that I'm not going to successfully fall for someone via online dating, because finding someone who can compare to ESL Teacher is hard enough without physical chemistry. So... I guess I'm going to continue flailing like an idiot? I'm hoping I'll somehow magically meet someone foxy in real life and that will solve my problems.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:29 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
So, my new idea for meeting people in real life is taking the 80s game Heart Throb I bought from goodwill in HS with pictures of "cute" boys in the late 80s, and personality cards. We are going to make a local version of this (with both boys and girls and anyone in between) with Asheville-rific personality cards. So, basically, I get to walk up to cute people and tell them they are cute! and it can be awkward but I have an excuse! Then I take their picture!

Gold.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:29 pm 
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I'm so sorry DC, I hope your heart is happy again soon <3

I almost asked toxic guy to come visit on Saturday, but I fought the chemistry and have just asked a nice, normalish guy if he wants to hang out. He's new to the whole thing and was worried he'd been too full on by asking me out last night. I figured I can be at least a nice first date for him to go on.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:48 pm 
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pandacookie wrote:
lycophyte wrote:
So, my new idea for meeting people in real life is taking the 80s game Heart Throb I bought from goodwill in HS with pictures of "cute" boys in the late 80s, and personality cards. We are going to make a local version of this (with both boys and girls and anyone in between) with Asheville-rific personality cards. So, basically, I get to walk up to cute people and tell them they are cute! and it can be awkward but I have an excuse! Then I take their picture!

Gold.


We can do this over Veganstock weekend too ya know.

And I will use your visage for the game if you are up for it! You know we already have a "Has an etsy store" as a personality card.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:23 pm 
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I turned my OKC profile back on out of boredom. I've talked to a few guys I might be interested in meeting and a few I'm probably not interested in meeting. I'm so fickle about it all. No one who seems totally awesome and like "I have GOT to meet this dude." Meh.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 8:19 am 
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Oh my gosh, I actually had a good OK Cupid date this weekend for the first time in FOREVER! We had afternoon coffee that turned into early evening beers and geeked out about a bunch of stuff like PT Anderson and David Bowie. I've got a second date lined up tonight.

Only trouble is: I met him the same week that I also finally made out with a "real life" dude that I've had a crush on for awhile. Whoops. Now I'm torn. It's only been about a week of this though so I'm hoping my feelings will magically sort themselves out. Or maybe one dude will turn out to be less interesting. I guess I'm psyched that all my stars are aligning or whatever but crepe, this has never happened before!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:59 pm 
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I haven't been on this thread for a while so here's a bit of an update:

I went on a lot of casual dates and then settled with one guy from POF kind of regularly before going on a trip overseas for a couple of weeks. When I got back we just weren't feeling it around each other anymore and broke it off. A big problem for me was his insistence on calling me his girlfriend early on, leaving stuff at my house, inserting himself into my life & decisions in a way that I thought was a little inappropriate & bossy. Also insisting on PDA when I told him it made me uncomfortable. All manner of wrong really, and I am now happily single again. Sweet freedom!

I'm going to take a break from dating for a while, and I took down all my online profiles. I realized that I really like being single and it's going to take some kind of unicorn person to change my status.

A couple things I learned from online dating: meet up early (others have said this). The less time you spend fantasizing & building each other up with sweet email/chatty talk the better.

Notice red flags: Maybe it's just Phoenix, but I was shocked at how openly racist people I met were. I'm white, & I date the rainbow, but a lot of men I met felt free to tell me early on that they only dated white girls - a few of them were Latino and African-American men who only dated white girls. They always mentioned their mothers & sisters and how they didn't want to date anyone like them. So maybe it's not so much racist as mommy-sister issues? Anyway, ew. People who liked me specifically because I was white, short, or petite were red flags to me because they were often a bit shallow, like anyone with a set "type." I feel like those kind of people didn't see me as human. Another red flag? Bringing up how the Jews control everything or any complaining about Jewish people and Israel. More common than I expected.

Oh this is already too long so I'll quit. Good luck out there, & be yourself no matter what.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:11 am 
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Ok, so nice normalish guy I have a date with on Saturday facebooked me. He's a biker of both types, owns two motorbikes, cycles 150 - 200 miles a week, is as fit as a butcher's dog and has a tattoo on his thigh. Normalish, ok guy is making me break a sweat here.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:52 am 
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Fezza, that doesn't sound normal to me, but in a good way!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:27 am 
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Things are continuing to go pretty well with the okcupid lady I've been seeing for a month and a half. I like her a lot but I don't have much time recently and dating is time consuming and maybe I'd rather be unattached right now? I'm not sure.


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