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 Post subject: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:45 pm 
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I've been trying to do well, really I have. But, I'm not doing well overall. I'm struggling to not get depressed, and I think sort of mostly succeeding. I'm working on exercising and getting my back in better shape, as much as possible, and I'm working on losing the weight I've gained since both back surgeries.

But, since I can't ever have everything go right at once, I'm forking with my school work. This is really bad for many reasons, not the least of which is I need the financial aid money to live on, and if I don't successfully finish all my incompletes from spring semester and my 4 classes for this semester by December, I will lose my aid.

There are about 6 weeks left in the semester and I am now a solid month behind in almost all of my classes. One of the classes I carried over from summer I have barely started at all. This wouldn't be the end of the world because the work is not difficult and I can usually work very quickly.

But, the problem is, I can't do anything. I can't force myself to focus or pay attention or even really read anything. I just stare at the work for 20 or 30 minutes and give up and go take a nap. It feels like there is this thick wall between me and doing anything and I don't know how to get through it. I'm starting to panic about not being able to get anything done.

I'm not really even reading for fun anymore either for similar reasons.

I decided to not try to catch up now but to just stay current and get THIS week's work done, and then go back and make up stuff. But it is already Thursday and I've only done work for 2 classes. Today I managed to read the materials for one, but am not making headway on writing the weekly paper because I don't remember anything that I read. That never happens to me! I'm typically a very rapid reader with good recall (certainly good enough to write a paper from immediately after reading).

Help?

ETA: To make this more difficult, I hate every single one of my classes. They are boring, tedious, repetitive, and I feel, exceptionally pointless since I can't teach again because of one crepe principal. Having the masters degree won't change that since that one refusal of recommendation trumps many good ones, and always will. This, however, doesn't change the fact that I have to finish the masters, because not finishing my last semester would be even more pointless.

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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:11 pm 
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I'm sorry about your motivation struggles, and I wish I had some useful ideas. I'm dealing w/ a major lack of motivation myself, so I'm going to keep an eye on this thread to see if anyone has any bright ideas. (I'm taking a board exam Dec. 14th and I have barely started studying, when it typically takes months of preparation -- thousands of pages of reading, lots of memorization -- I'm totally screwing myself and I don't know why.) Is it something to do with not really wanting what we're supposedly working towards???

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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:24 pm 
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Nummers wrote:
Is it something to do with not really wanting what we're supposedly working towards???


That's what I was wondering. But, I *do* want to go back for a phd in geosci, and I can't do that if I fork this up.

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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:27 pm 
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I think you just need to think about how this relates to your ultimate goal. If you want to go back to school for what you really want to do you're going to have to send in all your transcripts! I know this isn't related to your later plans so much anymore, but it's still something you need to get past to make your goals happen.

Make a long term plan, set goals past this semester, and just grit your teeth and focus on the future while you get this done. Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:37 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
Nummers wrote:
Is it something to do with not really wanting what we're supposedly working towards???


That's what I was wondering. But, I *do* want to go back for a phd in geosci, and I can't do that if I fork this up.


Yeah, I *do* want to be board certified, but I've got a weird kind of ambivalence towards it, too. Plus I'm fighting depression right now, which casts everything in a negative light.

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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:57 pm 
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Nummers wrote:
Yeah, I *do* want to be board certified, but I've got a weird kind of ambivalence towards it, too. Plus I'm fighting depression right now, which casts everything in a negative light.

Ugh, me too. I'm hanging onto this thread as well for ideas. I'm supposed to be studying for something similar, Nummers, and I just don't have the motivation. Depression is creeping in (doesn't help that it's cold and dark now, too) and I really, really want my license, but... ugh.

Similar to you, lavawitch, I couldn't read anything or focus at all in the beginning of grad school, and it was very uncharacteristic of me. I had to go on meds for a bit to help me focus. Best of luck finding something that works. I know that I just had to stay totally crazily focused on my studies during grad school for fear of getting behind. I don't know how I stayed afloat, other than making a friend in school and having her help me when times got tough. You'll be ok! I wish I could offer more support!


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:49 pm 
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I completely, totally, wholly know how you feel. It sucks. I have no advice, because I have never entirely been able to remove that wall (at least, not yet). I do know that change and variety helps for me, though I don't know how relevant that is to your situation. I also suspect that feeling like your work isn't important has a lot to do with it. You might also want to talk to a therapist, if you have the resources to do so. Also, making lists of what I need to do and scheduling everything to the minute helps a bit for me. But, everybody's different and I don't even know the answer myself, so all I can do is sympathize.


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:54 pm 
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Lava, go to your happy place--starbucks! You arent going to get anything done when you have the option of napping. Get out of the house and force yourself to stay somewhere until a certain amount of work is done. If it takes you an hour before you start doing the work, fine. Take an hour to stare around, then buckle down and get your asparagus in gear! I'm having a lot of trouble too, I have an application due Nov. 1 that I cant seem to get written. I talked to a friend who helped me map it all out and get it straight in my head, and he just generally cheered me up. I feel a lot more like working now. Maybe you can try that? Do something fun for yourself, take a break from it all, then come back and just do it. Because you have to. Youre out of options, just gotta do it! Maaaybe you should ask about getting banned from ppk for a week or a month too. Its a majah time suck. Good luck! youre smart enough and good enough for grad school, you can do it!


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:50 pm 
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I think I will try Starbucks tomorrow. You are right--I am out of options. I've pretty much used up all of my forking around time. I still do have time to get everything done if I can get my efficiency back.

One problem though with the napping is that I really do get super tired, plus my back hurts like hell after an hour or two of sitting up and it takes me several hours to recover. But that isn't as much of an excuse as it could be, because at the beginning of the semester, I was managing. The difference was that I was engaged enough to block out the pain until I was done and now I pretty much start yelling "pain, pain, PAIN!" in my head 10 minutes after I start.

Ok: Starbucks it is tomorrow. Plus, I could use a break from Molly. She doesn't really do me any favors when I am easily distracted because she always wants to play or else she wants snuggles. Molly is a time suck and nobody wants her upstairs because she is evil. My mom and dad pretty much hate her now because she bites them for no reason, usually after they do nice things for her or she gets what she wants. Every time I take her upstairs, I get a phone call an hour later telling me to come get my mean bird and Molly is back chewing on my books and highlighters.

I can't not PPK though. If I did that, I wouldn't "talk" with a single other person for days on end.

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"a vegan death match sounds like something where we all end up hugging." -LisaPunk


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:54 pm 
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I agree with rocklobster.

When I have stuff to do I would rather not do, I do EVERYTHING else other than what MUST be done. When that starts to happen, I HAVE to go somewhere else to get my work done and I don't come home until it is done.

Go somewhere with lots of caffeine and get the work done!


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:00 pm 
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Update: I did actually just finish an assignment. The bad news is I have been working on this assignment all week and it is actually the one that was due LAST Saturday.

So, if I do current week for my classroom management class tonight and then do my other two tomorrow, I'll have all of the stuff due Saturday done well in advance. I already did the work for the class that is due Monday (because it is easy and only took an hour and I love the professor and he seems to think that I am brilliant and a great student so I will be hitting him up for recs at some point).

I have been using Circus Ponies notebook to stay on top of things. I have an entire 16 weeks of to do lists mapped out in detail. Great in theory, but now I have a month of old to do lists to go back and finish, so now I basically have a highly annotated and micromanaged accounting of my ridiculous procrastination.

Nummers, do you have a Mac? If you do, get this program and use it to make some study outlines and to do lists. It might help! (me being in such a great position to offer advice and all...)

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"This is the creepiest post ever if you don't know who Molly is." -Fee
"a vegan death match sounds like something where we all end up hugging." -LisaPunk


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:34 pm 
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I'm a horrible procrastinator. Its something I've struggled with all my life. But I did get a piece of advice once that might help. You know that inner dialogue you have with yourself and ultimately you talk yourself out of doing what you are supposed to? Because you're too tired, or your nose is stuffy, or your cat looked at you mean? Well, don't start the dialogue at all. Don't weigh the pros and cons. Just do go do it. Easier said than done, of course, but I do notice that if I try to block out the voices in my head I get more accomplished.


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 Post subject: Re: Help Me Get Motivated.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:54 am 
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lavawitch wrote:
Update: I did actually just finish an assignment. The bad news is I have been working on this assignment all week and it is actually the one that was due LAST Saturday.

So, if I do current week for my classroom management class tonight and then do my other two tomorrow, I'll have all of the stuff due Saturday done well in advance. I already did the work for the class that is due Monday (because it is easy and only took an hour and I love the professor and he seems to think that I am brilliant and a great student so I will be hitting him up for recs at some point).

I have been using Circus Ponies notebook to stay on top of things. I have an entire 16 weeks of to do lists mapped out in detail. Great in theory, but now I have a month of old to do lists to go back and finish, so now I basically have a highly annotated and micromanaged accounting of my ridiculous procrastination.

Nummers, do you have a Mac? If you do, get this program and use it to make some study outlines and to do lists. It might help! (me being in such a great position to offer advice and all...)

Good job on the assignment! I do have a Mac, I'm going to check out Circus Ponies, never heard of it. Thanks!

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"I don't want to wake up pregnant by tempeh!" -amandabear


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