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 Post subject: How vegans fish.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:52 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:58 pm
Posts: 4749
Location: Santa Cruz whoop whoop
Quote:
Vegans are those folks who go fishin’ by throwin’ a car battery over the side of the boat!

From http://notalwaysright.com/the-beginnings-of-a-three-hour-cruise/2553, with bonus Isa mention.

Yeah, I'm reading the whole archive. I don't know if this was posted on the old forums...

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 Post subject: Re: How vegans fish.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:10 pm 
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Making Threats to Punks Again
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 1145
Location: Transplanted to St. Louis
They have a lot of funny/ignorant vegan ones.

Quote:
Customer: “Oh you have new pastries! They look great!”

Me: “Those are our new vegan baked goods. They’re also organic.”

Customer: “Ew! I never eat anything vegan!”

Me: “I doubt that. A lot of stuff is vegan. French fries are vegan.”

Customer: *looking mortified* “There’s no meat in French fries?!”

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Real vegans eat nothing but organic, grass-fed grass. - FootFace
I avoid protein on principle. - IsaChandra
I used to dress up like Wonder Woman but I didn't grow up to an Amazon Princess who dabbles in bondage and flys an invisible jet. -idatetattoedguys


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 Post subject: Re: How vegans fish.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:21 pm 
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Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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Posts: 939
Location: East Van
How could the car battery even kill the fish if it's not hooked up? Is that what's so vegan about it?

I like this one:
Quote:
Customer: “Oh my gosh, are those chocolate cupcakes vegan?”

Me: “Yeah, I think so. I can check.”

Customer: “Well, I just want to know if it’s healthy. You know, vegan equals healthy.”

Me: “…it’s a cupcake.”

(She stares at the expression on my face for a second, and then walks out.)

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 Post subject: Re: How vegans fish.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:30 pm 
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Has Isa on speed dial
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 83
Location: 5280 feet above sea level
Not vegan, but funny:

Quote:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned
Candy Store | New Jersey, USA
(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”

Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)

Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at 8 in the morning to buy this candy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”

(The customer bolts out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)



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