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 Post subject: How often do you think about bullies from your school life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:29 pm 
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Not NOT A Furry
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An alternate title would be 'are you more of a stalker than I am? If so. Report.' Mostly the people I 'stalk' are people who have hurt me because I like to keep tabs on where they are so that I never have to run into them... >.> <.< >.> Does anyone else do this?

I do. Kind of all the time, probably because I'm so messed up from everything they did to me. But I really want to know how they're doing now. What their lives are like. Facebook has been really good for that in a super stalker-esque way.

I mean. From my best information spying when I was younger and still around them (small town) and from other people's recollections:

I know that the two girls that bullied me the harshest had mothers that were friends by the light of day and got rip roaring drunk and got into fist fights on their front lawns...
One of them now has been with the same guy since high school and has bought a house and she's doing really well it seems... except that she's working with kids (and that worries me because I don't know if she'd help a kid like me if there was a kid like her around).

I know that the boy that bullied me the worst used to sleep with a baseball bat under his bed in case his dad came into his room, and from talking to his older brother years and years later, that the older brother had tried to kill himself.
From facebook, I know that this guy has a decent job and a little girl now and seems to be doing well.

I don't know. It's really strange and probably unhealthy. But its helped me a bunch (I think).

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:33 pm 
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A Bad Person
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I don't. I couldn't even name any of them. I've forgiven them by now. I can't hold any grudge that long.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:38 pm 
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The people who were meanest to me were my best friends. And I'm still friends with them.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:43 pm 
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I don't really think I was ever bullied. I was def made fun of for being the fat kid, but that all kind of ended once I hit 7th grade.

Sorry for your experiences. It's probably a good thing that you have been able to find out how they are as adults. I would think that if you could see that they changed and/or also had issues themselves, you would be more inclined to forgive and move on.

I wouldn't focus on it too much if I were you. Just know that kids are harsh and they don't see things for what they really are all of the time. They need guidance and adults to teach and show them. Most kids who bully are usually not being treated well at home. Which is really sad to think of. Not fair to the people that they are bullying though.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:43 pm 
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Occasionally.

There are some people on Facebook who are friends-of-friends, and I have been ignoring them. I had my twenty-year high school reunion a few months ago, and I was gladdened to see that one of the biggest crassholes I knew is now a sodden drunkard living well beyond his means on credit cards. Mostly, though, while I occasionally wonder what happened, I don't care that much.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:45 pm 
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Hoards Peppermint Jo-Jos
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Every now and then when the topic of bullying comes up, I remember some very tough times I had certain years in school. I haven't really Face-stalked many of the people who gave me a hard time, though...I just never want to think too much about those bad times if I don't have to.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:57 pm 
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i dont recall any of their names really, but if I saw them Id punch em in the face most likely just like i sometimes did when i was a kid....i hold a mean grudge

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:02 pm 
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Not very often. I was bullied so badly that my parents had to take me out of my school and put me in a different one.

Occasionally, one of their names will come up on facebook, but it doesn't bring up any crazy deep feelings or anything. Some of them are okay now that they're older, and some of them still seem like douches.

Mostly, I think "meh."

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:11 pm 
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I didn't have any real bullies - just a girl who was jealous I was gettin' close to her ex-boyfriend (who I never actually dated). She tried spreading rumors about me, but no one believed her and the rumors just went away.

I haven't ever searched for her on the internet, and I definitely don't see myself running into her unless it's for a high school reunion type thing that my best HS friends drag me to (they've already given me warning that they will do so if need be). Not that I'm angry with her; she's just not someone I think I'd ever run into again.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:17 pm 
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I think I've blocked out most of the bullying and petty cruelty from school. A couple of the girls who were super bisque-y to me in high school have sent me friend requests and I just ignored them. I will admit, it is slightly gratifying to see the people who thought they were hot shiitake but never got out of our podunk home town.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:25 pm 
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I was never bullied in any sort of systematic way by anyone at school, so I don't really think of anyone. I'm certainly curious about people and sometimes google my old schoolmates but that's more because I was crushin' on them or I just thought they were interesting peeps and wonder what they're doing now.

I would say my biggest bully growing up was my older sister, but I always figured that was sort of fairly normal sister/sister relations but then again, I didn't have that kind of relationship with my other sister or brother at all, they were all support and encouragement and love toward me, so maybe the way she treated me wasn't normal...I guess she felt competitive because we were closer in age, but I wasn't feeling the competition myself with her. I just wanted her to like me and she acted like she didn't and I didn't understand back then.

We talk about this stuff today though with each other. Now she tells me she was just angry all the time as a child and lashing out and even she doesn't really know why. It wasn't so much personal toward me, she would have lashed out at anyone handy. She says she feels like she was born angry.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:29 pm 
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often they're my friends on fb...they don't even think about it anymore so I try to get over it...


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:35 pm 
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When I got FB I looked through my high school class...that was it, I have dreams about being in school and I feel trapped. I just don't have the energy to care anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:37 pm 
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There's one kid whose name comes into my head now and again.

I still hate him.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:38 pm 
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Don't get me wrong it took me a while to add them because i felt silly, but when they come into the store i work it's awkward and i turn into that little girl again with anxiety.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:48 pm 
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I wasn't really bullied but my friends turned on me as a group a lot when I was growing up. I lost touch with them in HS, and the people I'm interested in stalking end up having really common names or are otherwise hard to find. I live in a different city now, so the chances of running into anyone from my past are slim. I was sort of a bully to one boy and it keeps me up at night sometimes. I hope he's doing well.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:49 pm 
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There's one girl who was really mean to me in high school and I stumble across her page on facebook every now again through a mutual acquaintance. I feel no guilt for thinking she has the creepiest looking baby I've ever seen.

Other than that, I don't really think about it. She and another woman live and work near where I work, and sometimes I'm paranoid that I'll run into them, but I wonder if they'd even recognize me.


Last edited by mel c on Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:09 pm 
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It became apparent that most fo the kids that picked on me in school acted that way because of some other factor in their life shortly after school ended. I still think about going back in time to give one or two of them a punch in the nose but those feelings quickly pass.

I think another question to ask is if anyone has lingering feelings left over from high school crushes.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:39 pm 
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I can only think of two boys who spread false rumours about me, they've never popped up on FB thankfully but I haven't given them enough thought to look them up. I don't care what they are doing, but if they tried to "add" me I'd probably send them a nasty message back. Especially the one who I found out was still talking about me only a couple years ago, I tracked down his # and left a him a "cease and desist" sort of voicemail with no response. The thing that really got me peeved was that he was talking crepe to my sister, and when I asked her why she didn't punch him in the face for saying those things she just shrugged and said "I thought it might be true." Um yeah thanks sis I thought you knew me better than that.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:41 pm 
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Threads like this make me wonder whether I was *that* oblivious or clueless, because I don't remember bullying at all. And when I was young and read books or watched things which involved bullying, I thought it was fiction because it was so much not a part of my world.


Too bad that's not everyone's experience.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:44 pm 
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I don't. In part because I am too busy dealing with bullies in my adult life. Some people just never grow out of it.
I try not to let them in, either in the now, or in my head.

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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:46 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I had the same experience, lutin. I don't remember seeing anyone at all getting bullied, much less myself. I was a pretty oblivious kid in a lot of ways, though.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:52 pm 
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brian wrote:
I don't. I couldn't even name any of them. I've forgiven them by now. I can't hold any grudge that long.


I still remember that guy that thought he could pick on me cause I was lower on the picking order than he was in high school.

He pushed it too far. I told him he'd regret it. He didn't believe it.

After I got to him in the schoolyard and choked him to the point that he turned blue, he got the point I was trying to make.
Ten years later I accidentally met him in his dad's store. The fear in his eyes was still quite clear.

I've forgiven but have no regrets.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:54 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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i don't think i was ever truly bullied.. but i definitely wouldn't add someone on facebook i don't like as a person.


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 Post subject: Re: How often do you think about bullies from your school li
PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:01 pm 
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Too much. It definitely still affects me pretty badly and I don't know that I'll ever get over it. Which is stupid and sucks, but there you go.

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