Post Punk Kitchen Forum

I really hate that all the fear-mongering means that most of us are voting either against Romney or against Obama, without there being an examination of the last 4 years and some of the broken promises with some accountability/discussion about making things different next term.

I voted for Obama, but only because I can't see having a SCOTUS appointment with another conservative justice when RBG retires in 2014. I hate what he has done with the drone program, not closing Gitmo, closing the medical marijuana dispensaries in California, stepping up the rate of deportations etc.

There is plenty to not like about Obama and Romney, but we can't have a conversation about the issues, because the debate is entirely fear-driven. I do wish we had had some sort of Dem primary, where Dem voters could have had a chance to weigh in on the things that POTUS has done and what a second term would look like.

I have no idea what a Romney presidency would look like, and I suspect neither do most GOP voters, and it feels really problematic to think that they are just voting against President Obama and some crazy fictionalized version of his presidency. I really don't want to put it down to racism though. I thought this was a good summary of what an O.2 could be like: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012 ... fact_lizza

The truth is that the two parties are more alike than they are different and esp with all the checks and balances, its not like the Dems are going to make any huge changes in the country, and the GOP is also holding off on making changes that are too big (see Justice Roberts holding his nose and voting against overturning the ACA)

Exactly what you said, Tofulish. I have grave issues against both, but the choice is still clear.

I am very disturbed about Benghazi though, and the lack of action taken by the State Department (and ultimately the White House). It should never have been allowed to happen. Say what you will about all the faults of Bush--it wouldn't have happened under his administration or Condi Rice's watch. Not that plenty of bad things didn't happen under his administration--don't get me wrong. But, this issue really disturbs me. They had advance warning.

Also, I'm so sick of republicans who get elected on reasonable issues and then, when they get elected "jobs! economy!" translates into "abortion! Evil women! Evil teachers!!" while jobs leave the state,,transportation issues are unaddressed, and real education issues aren't even considered.

Keeping the Supreme Court sane is our only hope. Especially with Scalito ready to tip it to the far, far, far right.

I don't think the root of the fear mongering is racism, at least not most of it. This is a product of an uncertain world and an uncertain economy. People feel their own futures are in turmoil, so it spills over. I know lots of previous Obama supporters who are wildly swinging the other way. They might swing back.

A relative of one of my friends used identity disparaging words in conversation.. "homo, gay" etc. Then he said someone was a "stupid baguette" and I interrupted him, asking him what he meant.. trying to point out that he should say what he meant, ultimately I realized that he was a truly homophobic crasshole. I left the bar and cried. No one else spoke up. This stung me so hard because I'm gay.

How do I calm down, unclench my stomach, and stop being so upset? Also, how do I find friends whose vocabulary doesn't include oppressive language?

I hope it doesn't happen to you. She saw me and said my name before I even realized she was there. If I'd realized I would have gone and hid in the bathroom or gone out the back door or something. I don't know.

Hang out with the queers? And PPKers?

i wish you could come hang out at my house.
you did a lot more than many folks who wouldn't even challenge that kind of language. not that it's your responsibility any more than anyone else's. I get really mad sometimes because I won't stand for that sort of language in my house, sometimes i feel like it's a losing battle; but then i figure it doesn't cost me too much to fight it compared to what it costs other people who get harrassed every day of their lives, and there's no reason to give up.

I don't allow that kind of language around me. No anti-immigrant stuff, no racist crepe, no disparaging people for their abilities or their genders or their choices. I call people out and I leave gatherings. I am not popular with my husband's family, but I feel at ease with my own choices.

I don't give two shiitakes if jerks don't like me, I don't like them. I am in complete agreement with T, that speaking up is the easiest form of advocacy for those of us who have access and privilege.

I am sorry you were hurt julialegume. I think it is a form of negligence at best and harassment and violence at worst to use disparaging language around people who may feel marginalized and disempowered by it.

^^ that's T&T, 2 saucy brats calling you out on yer mean language, kickin yer asparagus, eatin yer weenie. hi-5, tofulish.

I love you T. <3 I hope you do another NJ trip soon!

from your mouth to god's ear!!!!! (had a good month last month, money set aside for plane tickets. now to talk the school into excusing FC for a month....... next year, your summer.)

Yay ::crosses fingers, does school excuse dance::

Always fun when you run into a girl who you dated once at a bar after awkwardly and humiliatingly drunk texting her two days before.

I had already paid and ordered for my buffalo soy curl wrap and bolted anyway.

T&T, you're awesome. I want to carry you both around as shields against some of the people I'm forced to associate with.

I need the opinion of wise PPKers. An old high school "friend" (we're not particularly close anymore) dramatically unfriended me on FB after I left some (not very polite) comments on a dumb sexist thingy she posted. When I tried to talk to her afterwards she said she "needed time to think" so I've left her alone. It has now been more than a month without her speaking to me at all (even on my birthday). I wouldn't mind letting the relationship just go away, except that we often spend time together in our small group of mutual friends, and their primary means of communication in planning a get-together is Facebook.

I don't want to make things too awkward for our friends, but I also don't want to fall over myself trying to reconcile with someone I'm not sure I even like very much, especially if she apparently doesn't want to speak to me. WWPPKD?

Late to the conversation here, but being an introvert and being called shy is one of the most annoying things ever. I'm quiet because I choose to be, not because I'm afraid to talk to you. PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH

Could someone just make a group message so that everyone is involved, even those who are not friends on Facebook? I usually hate group messages but this might work for you since it would be the group talking together on a sort of neutral territory.

Ugh, b.vicious. I'm not sure what I'd do. How rude was the comment? How terrible was the original post? How often to you hang in groups associated with this person? Could you send her a message apologizing for being rude or quick to react, but that you felt the comment was sexist, and maybe should have found a better way of discussing it with her?

This is the most likely scenario, but it would suck that neither one of us could include the whole group in a message. (Last time she got mad at me for something stupid, our mutual friend started sending me screencaps of the conversation so I would know what was going on, haha.)


Heh, I wish I could remember exactly what it was! Unfortunately I have no record of it since I can't see her posts anymore. She posted something about sluts ruining men or whatever, and I was really snarky in response with a bit of good ol' cursing (not AT her, but you know, for emphasis). That's not bad advice, and my fiance told me the same thing, but I have trouble apologizing when I don't entirely mean it. Might be worth it just to smooth things over, though.

ETA: I found what she posted, had it copied somewhere. "Men always lose out on a good woman, because they're so use to dealing with sluts and don't know how to treat a real lady." Yuck.

Did she unfriend you or block you?

Just unfriended, which means other people can include us in the same message, but we can't include each other in group messages, though we can message each other individually.

I didn't know that! So scrap my original idea. I also have a hard time apologizing when I don't think I've done or said anything wrong, especially if what they said was absolutely terrible. I've been in this situation before and I actually happen to not like my best friends other very good friend at all and I ended up having to block her on FB because she wouldn't stop sending me angry messages. The way I've dealt with it is that I've just kept in contact with my friend about what's going on and it's been fine like that. Would it be too difficult to just have your friends keep you up to date on what's going on and you give them input?

Perhaps. I just don't want to annoy my friends. It was not fun last time.

Sorry for turning this into the Brandy thread.

Whatever, I'm mad at everyone.

ETA: Ok, I got over it.

I just wish I could better help!

Sometimes when I meet new people in groups I'm on the quiet side, because I'm LISTENING to them and their dynamic! Who could have possibly imagined?!