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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:35 am 
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Simply_Love wrote:
Simply_Love wrote:
Considering messaging an old friend/crush/fling person I haven't talked to in a few years to hang out.... My bestie moved five hours away a few weeks ago and I'm getting a bit lonely. But I feel like this may be a bad idea... Ugh, WHAT SHOULD I DO PPK?


And just when I had thought I'd decided not to, I was like what the hell and sent it anyway. I should not be allowed on Facebook when I am tired and lonely haha


I think it depends on the reason you haven't talked in a while. If you just kind of grew apart, catching up might be really nice.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:59 am 
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I got all weird and weepy listening to American Idiot last night because my current SO proposed on the way to see the play and my first husband gave me a copy of the CD the night he died. Talk about mixed feelings.

Simply_Love, how did it end? If it was on friendly terms I say go for it.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:33 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
VeganinBerlin, I am so happy you're getting IRL support to help you navigate this! I think its really wise to be able know that you can't change him or be his therapist, but that you can draw healthy boundaries for yourself to keep yourself safe.

I just wanted to say, that I hear you saying that its not his fault, that your reactions are more than they should be because of your history, and just wanted to say that in a relationship, a kind partner looks at what you specifically are dealing with and supports you through it, even if it isn't something they can necessarily understand. And again, not to blame him, but just to say that you're not responsible for his treatment of you, because you are oversensitive, if that makes sense.


Thanks for your input. This is definitely something that I need to work on. That just because he thinks something I do/think isn't "normal" doesn't mean I should feel ashamed about it or that it's my fault I am the way I am.

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VeganinBerlin, is he in therapy?

Not yet. He went to his GP and got some phone numbers but he hasn't called yet.

I find myself going back to stupid websites that make me feel like crepe and I dont know why I cant just not do it?

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:27 pm 
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Also, simply_love; if he doesn't respond, or responds negatively, you haven actually lost anything, you'd be at the same point as before the contact. So I think no matter what the outcome, it's a good idea. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:37 pm 
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Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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Mars: That was my thought as well!

We had a falling out our senior year, but at the end he apologized and made it clear he wanted to be friends. We talked and hung out a couple of times a few months later, but I haven't seen or spoken too him since then. We go to different colleges and just sort of lost touch. We'll see what happens.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:52 pm 
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Had sex with a vampire that sparkles.
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I hate when Internet forums have "names we hate" threads. It's so mean. And ironic because people are making fun of names while saying things like "kids with this name will get teased/bullied!" And it's like "oh you mean like what you're doing right now?"

And I don't mean this forum, another forum I'm on, but it's pretty common.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:00 pm 
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Fee wrote:
And I don't mean this forum, another forum I'm on.


There are other forums?

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:08 pm 
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They mean nothing.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:12 pm 
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Fee wrote:
I hate when Internet forums have "names we hate" threads. It's so mean. And ironic because people are making fun of names while saying things like "kids with this name will get teased/bullied!" And it's like "oh you mean like what you're doing right now?"

And I don't mean this forum, another forum I'm on, but it's pretty common.

I mean, people name their kids things I think are silly, but who cares? There are probably lots of folks who think the things I'd name a kid are dumb. Why do people want to talk about this stuff so much?


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:51 pm 
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I think on the Internet people just forget that like...people have that name you hate. And you don't necessarily know who you're making fun of. And while I've never encountered someone saying my name was horrible or saying they hate it, I think if I did I would be a little hurt.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:54 pm 
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Well for the record Fee, I love your name.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:55 pm 
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I've never seen the name thing before, that's really weird.

I've discovered the Oh She Glows chocolate chip cookie recipe and I'm addicted. (Sorry Isa!) So good. Of course, it uses sticks of earth balance so I'm gonna stick with the ppk recipe more often (because a. palm oil and b. eb is expensive) but it certainly will be my omni recipe I think...

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:06 pm 
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WHY OH WHY ARE BACK-TO-SCHOOL JITTERS STILL A THING I FEEL?
This is the 4th time I've started in a new uni since I graduated from high school and I am STILL NERVOUS AS HECK.

AUGH. Come on, me, pull yourself together.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:10 am 
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I had a little fight with the desk person at work. It's always been their job to clean up the groom room, because it's a shared space. So I'll vacuum up the hair and organize my area, but otherwise, they clean the tubs, take out the trash, do the laundry, etc, because they use that stuff as well. Apparently she wants me to do all of that now. I mentioned the fact that I only get paid commission for grooming dogs, and every second I'm there afterwards is unpaid work, and she's like, "Well, you get paid more than anyone else here." I totally blew up, said that I paid thousands of dollars for a grooming certification and perfected a skill over several years, and that anyone can sit behind a desk, which is why I make what I make and she doesn't. I may have overreacted, but I don't see how our pay is relevant to begin with. Compared to the other person who works the desk, she does absolutely nothing, just sits and plays on her phone, then huffs and puffs if she actually has to get off her asparagus. It's never affected me before, so I didn't really care, but I barely get a lunch break, and now she's complaining about me not doing HER job. The managers were there and didn't intervene, except to tell me I was being rude. One of them decided that I was personally attacking her (the manager - because I make more than them too) when I said why I make more money than anyone else. The cleaning is pretty much a non-issue. It's just the way I was approached and the fact that I'm being asked to do something that I don't get paid for. I pretty much don't even want to go back into work.

I've been looking at masters programs, but obviously that's not going to get me out in the immediate future. Whine.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:58 am 
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My mom's cousin posted a plaque his son got for being employee of the month at McDonald's. And my mom commented that he should keep up the good work and he can keep progressing in his job. All I can think of is Dave Chappelle's WacArnold's skit.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:52 am 
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I was just at the shelter to pick up a kitten (I was there when he was surrendered and promised a crying little girl I'd make sure he got out) and they couldn't find him. I walked though the whole shelter with the rescue coordinator and he was nowhere. He told me sometimes volunteers take kittens. I hope that's what happened.

Creep, I'm sorry that happened.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:16 am 
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creep wrote:
I had a little fight with the desk person at work. It's always been their job to clean up the groom room, because it's a shared space. So I'll vacuum up the hair and organize my area, but otherwise, they clean the tubs, take out the trash, do the laundry, etc, because they use that stuff as well. Apparently she wants me to do all of that now. I mentioned the fact that I only get paid commission for grooming dogs, and every second I'm there afterwards is unpaid work, and she's like, "Well, you get paid more than anyone else here." I totally blew up, said that I paid thousands of dollars for a grooming certification and perfected a skill over several years, and that anyone can sit behind a desk, which is why I make what I make and she doesn't. I may have overreacted, but I don't see how our pay is relevant to begin with. Compared to the other person who works the desk, she does absolutely nothing, just sits and plays on her phone, then huffs and puffs if she actually has to get off her asparagus. It's never affected me before, so I didn't really care, but I barely get a lunch break, and now she's complaining about me not doing HER job. The managers were there and didn't intervene, except to tell me I was being rude. One of them decided that I was personally attacking her (the manager - because I make more than them too) when I said why I make more money than anyone else. The cleaning is pretty much a non-issue. It's just the way I was approached and the fact that I'm being asked to do something that I don't get paid for. I pretty much don't even want to go back into work.

I've been looking at masters programs, but obviously that's not going to get me out in the immediate future. Whine.


I'm not trying to say she should get away with not doing her job description, but the managers were right. What you said was incredibly rude. Just because you went to school and she 'simply works behind a desk' doesn't mean you didn't act like a jerk.

I sell guitars for a living. If anybody treated me like you did, I would tell them to fork right off. My job is hard, and i can list a dozen legitimate reasons why. Just because it sounds and looks like a cakewalk doesn't mean shiitake.
Maybe she does suck at her job. It isn't your place to tell her- it's her manager's. Tell them when she isn't fulfilling her work duties- that's why they are there, to manage the place.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:22 am 
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creep wrote:
I had a little fight with the desk person at work. It's always been their job to clean up the groom room, because it's a shared space. So I'll vacuum up the hair and organize my area, but otherwise, they clean the tubs, take out the trash, do the laundry, etc, because they use that stuff as well. Apparently she wants me to do all of that now. I mentioned the fact that I only get paid commission for grooming dogs, and every second I'm there afterwards is unpaid work, and she's like, "Well, you get paid more than anyone else here." I totally blew up, said that I paid thousands of dollars for a grooming certification and perfected a skill over several years, and that anyone can sit behind a desk, which is why I make what I make and she doesn't. I may have overreacted, but I don't see how our pay is relevant to begin with. Compared to the other person who works the desk, she does absolutely nothing, just sits and plays on her phone, then huffs and puffs if she actually has to get off her asparagus. It's never affected me before, so I didn't really care, but I barely get a lunch break, and now she's complaining about me not doing HER job. The managers were there and didn't intervene, except to tell me I was being rude. One of them decided that I was personally attacking her (the manager - because I make more than them too) when I said why I make more money than anyone else. The cleaning is pretty much a non-issue. It's just the way I was approached and the fact that I'm being asked to do something that I don't get paid for. I pretty much don't even want to go back into work.

I've been looking at masters programs, but obviously that's not going to get me out in the immediate future. Whine.


I know it sucks to feel that you aren't being valued but I will say that you also probably made her feel like she wasn't valued either. I also know that you may not know how to react in the heat of the moment, but a better way to respond is ask her to take it up with management. I'd also add that you should never, ever, ever peas off a secretary/admin assistant/front desk/etc type person because they can and will make your life hell. I'd apologize all around and try to make amends. I've had conflict with people at my work before and the best approach is talk to your management.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:47 am 
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creep wrote:
I had a little fight with the desk person at work. It's always been their job to clean up the groom room, because it's a shared space. So I'll vacuum up the hair and organize my area, but otherwise, they clean the tubs, take out the trash, do the laundry, etc, because they use that stuff as well. Apparently she wants me to do all of that now. I mentioned the fact that I only get paid commission for grooming dogs, and every second I'm there afterwards is unpaid work, and she's like, "Well, you get paid more than anyone else here." I totally blew up, said that I paid thousands of dollars for a grooming certification and perfected a skill over several years, and that anyone can sit behind a desk, which is why I make what I make and she doesn't. I may have overreacted, but I don't see how our pay is relevant to begin with. Compared to the other person who works the desk, she does absolutely nothing, just sits and plays on her phone, then huffs and puffs if she actually has to get off her asparagus. It's never affected me before, so I didn't really care, but I barely get a lunch break, and now she's complaining about me not doing HER job. The managers were there and didn't intervene, except to tell me I was being rude. One of them decided that I was personally attacking her (the manager - because I make more than them too) when I said why I make more money than anyone else. The cleaning is pretty much a non-issue. It's just the way I was approached and the fact that I'm being asked to do something that I don't get paid for. I pretty much don't even want to go back into work.

I've been looking at masters programs, but obviously that's not going to get me out in the immediate future. Whine.

Not to pile on, but this does come across as really mean and dismissive. I would probably feel attacked too, if i was your manager.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:15 am 
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blondiefk wrote:
I was just at the shelter to pick up a kitten (I was there when he was surrendered and promised a crying little girl I'd make sure he got out) and they couldn't find him. I walked though the whole shelter with the rescue coordinator and he was nowhere. He told me sometimes volunteers take kittens. I hope that's what happened..


They found him! He's in foster through the shelter until he's old enough to go to adoptions. Which could be good or bad, depending if he gets adopted or not. I wish they had just let us take him then he'd be safe for sure.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:24 am 
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monkeytoes wrote:
Oh boy, what a day. Biker boy's friend who was renting the house went home to CO this morning so today would have been the day bb moved back home. Instead Project Temporary Cohabitation is officially over but only because it's permanent now. I mean, who knew when he moved in with me for the summer that held never end up spending another night at his house?! We're about a quarter of the way packed up over here, lots of stuff has gone to the dump and he's on his way to a friend's house with his old dining set while I sort through the kitchen and decide what comes over to my place. He tries not to let on but I think he's pretty emotionally fried right now. Lots of changes!

Rough weekend. Both of us are tired and stressed out and I definitely snarked at him some (I also apologized.) Both houses are in chaos. We were supposed to be hosting his poker night tonight... thank goodness they couldn't get together enough players! Instead I will work on getting some stuff done in the bedrooms before he gets home from work so we can shift some furniture around. At least then we'll have one floor of one house that's done! So tired.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:26 am 
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I actually did apologize for my reaction, immediately after I blurted that out and later in the day, but of course I'm going to feel defensive when she brings up the amount of money I make, because it's none of her business, and it doesn't mean that I need to do things that aren't my job to compensate for the fact that she works less. I was actually feeling a bit violated, because she had to have done some math to even know what I'm making anyway, because it's not like I walk around telling everyone what my paycheck was.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:33 am 
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linanil wrote:
I'd also add that you should never, ever, ever peas off a secretary/admin assistant/front desk/etc type person because they can and will make your life hell.

Truth. There is no unskilled work. I could no more do secretarial work than I could fly. And I don't know many people who could pick in a field despite recent immigration debates calling it unskilled. That is a pet peeve of mine and why yelper is the bane of the universe.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:35 am 
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I guess I should clarify that I do agree that what I said was rude! I've done her exact job though, and the pay for what I did then vs. what I do now is totally appropriate.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:29 pm 
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Yesterday I had a very early singing gig at a church, that required me to dress up. I'd had a late gig the night before, so I was running on about 4 hours of sleep. I remember checking to make sure I had my driver's license and bank card with me in my pocket when I went out the door, so I knew that they were in my pocket when I left. After the gig, I got home and I was incredibly tired, so I just sort of tossed my pants somewhere and went back to sleep, didn't really think anything of it.

This morning I needed to go to the library, so I got up, started getting ready to go, rounded up all the books due today, and then reached into the pocket of my black dress pants and my ID and bank card were not there. I figured, okay, maybe they fell out when I tossed the pants, so I start searching around near where the pants were. Nada. I check my backpack, the pockets of other clothes I've worn recently, the spot in the kitchen where I leave my keys...no luck. So now I'm sort of freaking out, I start massively trying to clean my room (uh, let's just say you can't usually see the floor in my room), I go out to my car and turn things upside down in there, I call the church to see if they fell out of my pocket there, I'm pretty close to tears at this point. So, in one final burst of utter irrationality, I grab my dress pants again to check the pocket, you know, in case maybe they magically appeared in there somehow after I'd already checked 3 times.

Yeah, turns out I forgot that I actually have two nearly-identical pairs of black dress pants. The pants I'd checked the first 3 times were the pants I didn't wear. My ID and bank card were in the pants that I actually wore, just chillin' there long enough for me to completely and utterly flip my shiitake trying to find them.

I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants.

I'm going to the library now.

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