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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 11:54 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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well, to you brave souls who work with courier, I salute you. You are some tough cookies.

erika.... Word Perfect! I forking loved Word Perfect! I feel like that was the only one I really knew inside, outside, upside down. Another salute.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 11:55 am 
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mollyjade wrote:
The last press I worked at used Word Perfect, and I really miss being able to delete formatting codes. It's so incredibly useful. In Word, you just have to mess around until you can figure out what stray hidden code is causing your formatting problems.



COOOODES glorious COOODES

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 12:15 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
jordanpattern wrote:
In the law office I worked at, we did everything in courier new. I kind of miss it, to be honest.


Yup yup. I feel weird when forced to work in Times New Roman now. Also, because it's 2014, we're slowly being forced off Word Perfect into MS Word and it's killing me.

WHAAAT? NO!

Also, Kfad, we had a guy in the office (when I was working back in the office with Erika) who retained the attorney I worked for for one case in December of 2009 or something, and then accused her of "double dipping" when she charged him another retainer for a completely separate incident 2 years later. He thought his tiny retainer entitled him to legal services for life, apparently?

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 12:28 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
WHAAAT? NO!


It's even becoming policy in some courts! The Eastern District of California is now officially an MS Word court (although apparently the clerks are just as unhappy about it as we are).

jordanpattern wrote:
Also, Kfad, we had a guy in the office (when I was working back in the office with Erika) who retained the attorney I worked for for one case in December of 2009 or something, and then accused her of "double dipping" when she charged him another retainer for a completely separate incident 2 years later. He thought his tiny retainer entitled him to legal services for life, apparently?


I remember that guy! He's part of a category of defendant/litigant I've learned to recognize and to which I refer as "Middle-Aged White Guys Who Have Realized That Injustice Exists." Their righteous indignation over a minor charge which is the first in their records are usually accompanied by lengthy dissertations on the background of their incident, the historical significance of the area in which said incident occurred, and the accused's personal ruminations on the general state of affairs that has led to the incident. Said dissertation will be revised no less than three times and will consist of no fewer than 75 pages (not including citations and footnotes).

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 12:53 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
jordanpattern wrote:
WHAAAT? NO!


It's even becoming policy in some courts! The Eastern District of California is now officially an MS Word court (although apparently the clerks are just as unhappy about it as we are).

jordanpattern wrote:
Also, Kfad, we had a guy in the office (when I was working back in the office with Erika) who retained the attorney I worked for for one case in December of 2009 or something, and then accused her of "double dipping" when she charged him another retainer for a completely separate incident 2 years later. He thought his tiny retainer entitled him to legal services for life, apparently?


I remember that guy! He's part of a category of defendant/litigant I've learned to recognize and to which I refer as "Middle-Aged White Guys Who Have Realized That Injustice Exists." Their righteous indignation over a minor charge which is the first in their records are usually accompanied by lengthy dissertations on the background of their incident, the historical significance of the area in which said incident occurred, and the accused's personal ruminations on the general state of affairs that has led to the incident. Said dissertation will be revised no less than three times and will consist of no fewer than 75 pages (not including citations and footnotes).


This perfectly describes this guy. Except this guy is nowhere near middle age. But between the client and his father (who calls three times most days for updates.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:19 pm 
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Sort of tangentially related:

I was g-chatting with a coworker (I work remotely, so I work with one girl who's at the physical office who does the little things like mailing checks and stuff that I can't do), and she told me that her dad wants to call the boss and ask how she's doing and then demand a raise on her behalf. This girl is 23 and employed at a law office and does good work and is obviously on the ball and has her shiitake together. She's so mortified and has tried to explain to her dad that that is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE, but he's determined to do it, so she's had to talk to the boss and be like, "so, this is probably going to happen, and please don't think anything of it; my dad is just crazy."

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:23 pm 
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That is horrifying! At least she knows at the adult age of 23 that she should be handling this on her own. How embarrassing for her that her father is intent on fighting her battles for her! That is going to be a super awkward conversation with the boss...

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:34 pm 
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We have a woman who keeps calling because she is sure something is living in her garage. She doesn't know what it is, though, because she has never seen it or heard it. But she knows it's there. She was told that if an animal is in there, she should open the garage door so it can leave. But instead of leaving the garage door open, she sat up all night opening and closing the door every five minutes. All night. Then she put plates of peanut butter all over the garage. The peanut butter disappeared, so now she KNOWS there is something there. (Probably mice that she lured into the garage with plates of freaking peanut butter!) Now she wants us to set up a trap for some unknown animal that possibly does not even exist. And she keeps demanding to know what "Step 2" is if whatever we suggest doesn't work out. And if we give a step 2, then she says, "Okay, but what is STEP 3??"


Last edited by raspberrycomplaint on Tue May 13, 2014 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:38 pm 
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Step 3 is razing her home to the ground.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:54 pm 
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I work in a brewery where one of our beers is, for some reason, much more popular than the others (I have a theory that if we put any beer in a bottle with that label, they wouldn't know the difference, but whatever). We bottle it at least once a week, and when we have it, it lasts 2-3 days before it sells out.

Every single day I have someone calling complaining that we "never" make it and demanding to know when we're going to get it back. It's tricky to say, because even if they're bottling it right this second (they are), I still can't tell them when it's going to go on sale, because it doesn't go on sale until they're finished with the run. I don't know which tank they're bottling from (which determines many barrels they have to do), I don't know if they're having trouble with the labeler (which slows everything down), I don't know if they stopped for lunch, I don't know how much is being saved for distribution (sometimes all), I don't know when the dock manager is going to have time to move some over for the brewpub to sell -- there are a ton of different factors that determine how long it will be. But people on the phone all want to know a specific time it will go on sale.

And of course since I can't tell them, they inevitably say, "Well is there someone there who DOES know?" No. There is no one here who does know, because there is no way to know.

And if I try to guess or estimate (and I ALWAYS would let them know it wasn't for sure), and I'm wrong, they flip out about that and start yelling at the guys at the to-go kiosk, "I was TOLD it would be ready at 4:30!!" ...or whatever.

I'm not withholding information from you! Or trying to lie to you! There's just no way to know.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 2:07 pm 
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Now I want to try that beer. When will it be ready?


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 2:14 pm 
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In exactly 23 minutes.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 2:19 pm 
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Ummm... beer.
We keep a fifth of gin in the back. For reasons. (See above).

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 11:37 am 
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I enjoy the occasional work drink or 4:45-is-close-enough-to-5 drink, but I have some coworkers who have taken to starting in on the beer no later than 3:30 every day. If it's bad enough for me to notice, it's bad. Because I LOVE my beer.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 12:42 pm 
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I have been informed I am a "white KKK bisque" by someone who was upset I couldn't advise on how to get the FBI stop hacking her computer.*

*here's how: take your lithium.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 1:45 pm 
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Since our store hours changes so that we close an hour earlier, I've been amazed at how many people really, seriously, expect us to let them in when then show up 5 minutes after closing time.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 1:47 pm 
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lepelaar wrote:
Since our store hours changes so that we close an hour earlier, I've been amazed at how many people really, seriously, expect us to let them in when then show up 5 minutes after closing time.


BUT THEY ONLY WANT ONE THING!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 2:55 pm 
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This just happened:

Caller: Hi, I'm Jane Doe's niece and I'd like to speak to Bob*
Me: And who is Jane Doe?
Caller: My Aunt.

Image

*names have been changed

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Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 3:27 pm 
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Another day, another lawyer who didn't take even a single look at the documents sent to him by our office, and therefore not knowing the date his client was expecting to take possession of their new home, and therefore not having funds/title transfers ready.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 3:37 pm 
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lepelaar wrote:
Since our store hours changes so that we close an hour earlier, I've been amazed at how many people really, seriously, expect us to let them in when then show up 5 minutes after closing time.

Worker plebe, you are there to serve me. SERVE ME!

Even worse is when your co-workers are not in solidarity with you. Once someone lets them in, they keep expecting it.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 2:48 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
Another day, another lawyer who didn't take even a single look at the documents sent to him by our office, and therefore not knowing the date his client was expecting to take possession of their new home, and therefore not having funds/title transfers ready.


Law school is hard. I don't understand how so many lawyers get through law school and end up such forkups.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 2:53 pm 
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Arisaig wrote:
jordanpattern wrote:
Another day, another lawyer who didn't take even a single look at the documents sent to him by our office, and therefore not knowing the date his client was expecting to take possession of their new home, and therefore not having funds/title transfers ready.


Law school is hard. I don't understand how so many lawyers get through law school and end up such forkups.


let alone sitting the LSAT beforehand and the Bar afterwards. Some of the attorneys I've met, I can't believe they could figure out how to open the door to the law school to begin with.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 6:24 am 
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lepelaar wrote:
Since our store hours changes so that we close an hour earlier, I've been amazed at how many people really, seriously, expect us to let them in when then show up 5 minutes after closing time.


I worked as a Christmas temp one year and we had people banging on the door at 6pm on Christmas Eve wanting us to let them in and waving their cards around.

Dudes come on, it's not like the date was a surprise!

Mat.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 7:57 am 
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A guy ordered a hoodie from our online store. I packed it up and sent it to him the next day. It's been a week since I mailed it, and according to the tracking number, it is now at a post office he says is 5 minutes from his house in California.

He has sent me three emails asking what he should do.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 9:36 am 
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A potential adopter emailed us 39 times over two days about adopting a dog from us. She isn't listening to our explanation about doing reference checks and home visit but sent us a 40th email asking when she is getting the dog. Um, never?

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