Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Oh my gosh, these library stories are terrifying.

Oh man, that would have me bawling my eyes out. What is it with people??

You'd be shocked. It's really common. Parents whose kids decided they weren't as interested, middle-aged people who decided to try and then realized they didn't have the patience, people who get them from friends/family members, etc.

I'm a wuss and can't handle terrifying situations, but I can definitely handle working at libraries and I really enjoy it. We're only telling you the worst stories. There are way more wonderful stories to tell each day.

The truth is that anywhere the public gathers can be terrifying. Bookstores are at least as bad because of the crazy hours they sometimes keep. We have a patron who can literally clear one half of our building. His body odor is beyond anything you can imagine.

But at least he doesn't stop by to tell me about the people who are putting tracking chips in his phone or laptop and he isn't incredibly angry that he's in late middle age and unemployed. He also isn't trying to sell drugs, sell sex, or taking a crepe in the middle of the floor.

It's the small things.

I had someone scream at me because of...45¢ in fines.

Agreed. I definitely have some awesome library stories.

I've been yelled at before, too. A kid who had about 7 overdue books wanted to take out 10 more. Both her and her teacher yelled at me.

I enjoy paying my fine. Sometimes is keep things a day or two late on purpose just to pay a fine. I feel like I'm donating without actually having to donate. (Maybe I should just actually donate?)

Gather up some cash and talk to your local librarian about building a vegan/AR or LGBTQ collection. More than likely you won't be picking out the books but you could contribute towards certain parts of the collection.

I worked in bookstores for 11 years. I, too, have stories!

We don't actually get to keep our fine money, it goes to the town. I don't know if that's typical, but it's a good incentive to donate!

We have customers who write out cheques for their favourite branch libraries sometimes, and it's really nice when that happens! The librarians then use the money to get all sorts of fun things for the activities they put on, or get new chairs or cushions or whatever else might be looking a bit tatty (and we have almost no budget for things like that at the moment!). We've also had people offer to help set up wi-fi (which we turned down, but it was still a nice gesture, and now we have it anyway).

To counteract all the horrifying stories, I remember one time I was doing some reserve library assistant work and this elderly chap was moseying towards the issue desk and farted for about the space of 5 feet or so, really loudly! FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP! It was so funny, especially as he didn't seem to be aware he'd done it. Brightened up my morning, although I found some shelving to do on the far end of the library for a while!

ETA: as we're part of the city council, we have budgets set by them. I suppose technically we don't keep the fine money, but it definitely helps us to stay within budget.

Same! :D

Well technically Chlamydophila psittaci (avian chlamydia) is zoonotic so maybe they heard something about birds having chlamydia and figured that it was the venereal type (it actually gives you flu like symptoms). The venereal version in humans is caused by C.trachomatis. In case anyone is wondering why I know this, I'm currently studying for an exam on zoonotic disease. :D

Aw, I was imagining people had joked about 'that bird that's spreading it around', meaning a particular lady they thought was too promiscuous, and the patient had completely misunderstood and thought there was a chlamydia bird.

So even though we don't get a lot of people in the office (clients are often met on-site), sometimes they will randomly drop in without calling first. This morning, my boss had a couple of clients in his office with the door shut. That means take messages unless it's really pressing.

Dude I've Never Met: Hi, is [boss] here?
Me: He's in a meeting right now, is it really important? (If he says no, i'll tell him he can wait or leave a note).
Dude: Well, i'm a client.
My inner monologue: ...so are the people he's in a meeting with, jackass!

Then he asked to speak to the 'Draftsman', which after he left the dudes told me that's the architectural equivalent of calling a comic book inker a 'Tracer'.

I get a call from a guy who has already called and spoken to my colleague about running late for his appointment. Our office is on a major thoroughfare that runs about 3.5 miles through the city.

Caller: Hi, I just got off the bus at X street. Where are you on Y Boulevard?
Me: You're at X Street? We're still a mile away. You have to go through that tunnel.
Caller: Oh, I didn't know which end of Y Boulevard you guys were on. I guess I should have looked that up before I left.

Yes. Yes, I suppose you should have looked up where you were going and how to properly get there before you left. People in general find that to be quite the successful technique in Getting Where They Want To Be.

I used to work at the customer service desk of a Whole Foods and got random, weird phone calls/ questions all the time. One of the most bizarre ones was some guy that called and just asked what the time was, then hung up. Not anyone I knew and it didn't seem like a prank. Just plain weird. One time someone handed me a bloody $20 bill. No thanks. Not touching that. We had weirdos come in with masks and gloves on that would freak out if one of their items got scanned. Of course we would scan them on purpose now and then. People are weird, what can I say.

Wait, so you have to manually enter the item numbers for every item because they didn't want their items scanned? Am I misunderstanding this?

Oh yeah, you got it right. We would "accidentally" scan things to freak them out. Fun times. It wasn't just the customers that were weird, one of my coworkers really liked cleaning up vomit. He always volunteered to clean up bathroom vomit. He said he had a special system that worked really well. It involved cat litter.

That... is a huge forking pain in the asparagus.

You could be right there! I'm so focused on animal diseases right now that's all that I can think about!! :D

I would have just stared at her with the biggest fake smile and creepiest eyes ever and continued eating, moving just a tiny bit closer each second she kept talking. She'd never come back again.

I know this is really old, but I have to ask-- who the hell buys a guitar THAT COMES IN A BOX? That implies that you haven't tried it out first. That's just bizarre and alien to me.

The really cheap ones- we're talking Christmas/birthday gift type Squier Bullet for 89.99 during the holiday sales. Sometimes people will try out the same model but take home the backstock one that hadn't been played by anyone. Guitars made on assembly lines don't have a whole lot of character in terms of being the same model but a different guitar.
It's silly, but it's really common in your chain instrument stores. Not so much in the small ones.