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Very Special Customers/Clients
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Page 9 of 131

Author:  8ball [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

These sound far too much like the oft-experienced;

"I wannit sorted!"
"OK, so how would you like me to do that?"
"I dunno, I just wannit SORTED!!"

Author:  monkeytoes [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

maygles wrote:
eatmonaeat wrote:
At least you wrote a coherent issue you were having. I just got a ticket that says "My screen seems wrong."


Yeah if I had a dollar for every "It's not working" or "It's broke" or "It won't let me in" or "Please fix it" ticket I got, I would...not be working tech/customer support.

I don't even work in tech support and I field these kind of inane requests daily from my boss. "Can you come in here? My computer's weird." "Can you come in here? I don't know what I did." "Can you come in here? My yahoo! is broken." Not. My. Job.

Author:  chaioli [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Lady calls today... Says she ordered a dress online many weeks ago. Received the dress. Thought dress was too short. Exchanged dress FOR SAME STYLE & SIZE! Calling today because she received it and it is also TOO SHORT! Gets mad when I tell her she shouldn't order the dress again.

Agh.

Author:  raspberrycomplaint [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

paprikapapaya wrote:
Mars wrote:
This is what happens with my dog all the time. She is scared of new people, but if they behave correctly she warms right up to them in about half an hour. I'm always telling new people when they come over, just ignore her, don't look at her in the eyes, and here are some treats you can give her. They always bend down to be face-level with her, look her right in the eyes and say things like "hey Ginny! I'm nice, you don't have to bark at me!"... Well I usually just leave it be, let them do whatever at that point since she definitely won't bite, it's not too much of a concern. But it just gets old!


ugh same, with my cat Gershwin. He has serious anxiety about new people, even people he's met before but doesn't see often. I ALWAYS tell people not to pet him, just leave him be and he'll come around in his own time. And EVERY TIME people then try to pet him and then he scratches or bites them and loses his shiitake. Like, what the fork about what I just said does not make sense to you?

Because "I know all about animals! All animals love me!" I can't stand those people. I've seen people continue to reach out to dogs while the owner is literally shouting "DO NOT TOUCH MY DOG! MY DOG BITES!" and trying to physically block the person from touching the dog. And then the people are shocked and offended when they are bitten. "But dogs always love me! Why did he bite me?!" Sigh.

Author:  j-dub [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

chaioli wrote:
Lady calls today... Says she ordered a dress online many weeks ago. Received the dress. Thought dress was too short. Exchanged dress FOR SAME STYLE & SIZE! Calling today because she received it and it is also TOO SHORT! Gets mad when I tell her she shouldn't order the dress again.

Agh.

This is amazing.

Author:  bastah [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I don't work in tech support, but I get these questions daily since I work at a reference desk near the computers.

Author:  fisticuffs [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

lillianp wrote:
I've been known to call an IT help line or some other similar thing and while on the phone with them, figure out the dumb issue I've been having and fix it myself and then have to apologize profusely for having wasted their time.


I always start with "yes, I've tried turning it off and on again already" and giggle silently.

Author:  jerusha [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

fisticuffs wrote:
lillianp wrote:
I've been known to call an IT help line or some other similar thing and while on the phone with them, figure out the dumb issue I've been having and fix it myself and then have to apologize profusely for having wasted their time.


I always start with "yes, I've tried turning it off and on again already" and giggle silently.


This. Absolutely. I understand our IT Team gets asked a whole bunch of dumb questions, but not by me. Really.

Author:  alden [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 6:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I haven't worked in customer service for a long time (a good thing because I a pretty sure I suck at dealing with people) but when I was in highschool I worked at a fazolis in Orlando and we sold these family buckets of spaghetti etc that would feed 4 people. Some lady had bought 4 or 5 of them the night before and then came in the next day demanding her money back because she didn't think it was very good. The only problem being that all that was left was about a quarter of one container...I guess she figured she could berate a 16 year old cashier into giving her the money back but fortunately I had an awesome manager who was completely willing to be an asparagus to someone obviously trying to get $40 of food for free so when he stepped in it provided a good show watching him tell her to never come back to the store again.

Author:  lillianp [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

jerusha wrote:
fisticuffs wrote:
lillianp wrote:
I've been known to call an IT help line or some other similar thing and while on the phone with them, figure out the dumb issue I've been having and fix it myself and then have to apologize profusely for having wasted their time.


I always start with "yes, I've tried turning it off and on again already" and giggle silently.


This. Absolutely. I understand our IT Team gets asked a whole bunch of dumb questions, but not by me. Really.


Yes, when I do have a legitimate question, it usually ends up with us going through 'did you check this, did you check that' and I laugh because I know that legitimate questions are rare!

Author:  Anek [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

fisticuffs wrote:
lillianp wrote:
I've been known to call an IT help line or some other similar thing and while on the phone with them, figure out the dumb issue I've been having and fix it myself and then have to apologize profusely for having wasted their time.


I always start with "yes, I've tried turning it off and on again already" and giggle silently.


Yes, I do this too when it's a bigger issue of the computer doing something really weird. And of course this usually solves the issue. But when it doesn't I always start my call with that. Unless it's about Outlook.

Author:  eatmonaeat [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Oh, and for all you library folks- you might enjoy this: http://www.unshelved.com/ (it's a webcomic about librarians)

Author:  mrsbadmouth [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

raspberrycomplaint wrote:
paprikapapaya wrote:
Mars wrote:
This is what happens with my dog all the time. She is scared of new people, but if they behave correctly she warms right up to them in about half an hour. I'm always telling new people when they come over, just ignore her, don't look at her in the eyes, and here are some treats you can give her. They always bend down to be face-level with her, look her right in the eyes and say things like "hey Ginny! I'm nice, you don't have to bark at me!"... Well I usually just leave it be, let them do whatever at that point since she definitely won't bite, it's not too much of a concern. But it just gets old!


ugh same, with my cat Gershwin. He has serious anxiety about new people, even people he's met before but doesn't see often. I ALWAYS tell people not to pet him, just leave him be and he'll come around in his own time. And EVERY TIME people then try to pet him and then he scratches or bites them and loses his shiitake. Like, what the fork about what I just said does not make sense to you?

Because "I know all about animals! All animals love me!" I can't stand those people. I've seen people continue to reach out to dogs while the owner is literally shouting "DO NOT TOUCH MY DOG! MY DOG BITES!" and trying to physically block the person from touching the dog. And then the people are shocked and offended when they are bitten. "But dogs always love me! Why did he bite me?!" Sigh.


No kidding. Chester doesn't get out to the park much these days, but people will let their kids BOLT FOR HIM so I just start backing up with him behind me and chant 'HE BITES' really loud. fork, people.

Since I don't get to deal with clients much, here is one from Ace Hardware, when Brian and I were behind That Old Couple Who Writes A Check And Does It Slower Than Moles asparagi In January, buying tomato plants.

TOCWWACADISTMAIJ: *finally completes the check writing and book balancing*
Checker: Here's your receipt, have a nice day!
TOCWWACADISTMAIJ: What's your return policy on plants? Like if they die?
Checker: If the plant dies within two weeks, you can bring it back.
TOCWWACADISTMAIJ: Only two weeks?! Huh. Last summer we planted some stuff and waited months for it to grow and nothing happened.
Checker: ...yeah, that's our store policy, sorry!
TOCWWACADISTMAIJ: *shuffles off*
Me: I'm totally going to dig up any stunted plants I have in the middle of July, bring them back here, and demand a refund.

Author:  Mr. Shankly [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I guess I never did tell the story about when I was 16 and working at Dunkin' Donuts and we were essentially robbed. alden's story reminded me. I had the night shift with a couple of workers who were at a DD I was subbing at. First the woman had called up and I picked up the phone. She told me that she had bought donuts earlier in the day and that they were stale so she wanted new ones for free. I tried telling her that we couldn't do that but she wasn't having it and asked to speak to the manager. It was night so the manager wasn't in but we told her we would call and leave a message for them. Fast forward about an hour and one of my co-workers is outside measuring things and filling out papers (near the drive through area) and myself and another co-worker were inside the shop working. We were all wearing the headgear so we could hear everything going on at the drive through station. The same woman came driving through with a guy and told us that she had ordered donuts earlier in the day, they were stale, she wanted new ones. We told her that we couldn't do that and even if we did give her new donuts, they are the same donuts from earlier in the day so if those were stale, these would be stale as well. She fought with us for a little while and then eventually told us, "Well I have a gun in the trunk and I'm about to whip it out and come in there and shoot all you up." I ran out to the back to get my co-worker in who was already running towards the door because the woman had gotten out of the car and was opening up the trunk. We locked the doors, called the police and told the woman that we'd give her donuts. So she got back into her car, drove to the window and we gave her donuts. Then she told us that she wanted to be on "that managers list". We tried telling her that we don't have a managers list and she said, "Don't you lie to me, I know about that managers list. You get free donuts. You better put me on that shiitake and when I come back, I want more free donuts." We just said okay (we don't have a managers list) so that she would go away. The police station was across the street from us; it took them over an hour to get to us. When the police had gotten there they said they recognized her because she was speeding close to our area one time and almost hit a kid.

Author:  Fizzgig [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I work at a law firm and this is my favorite from today in the same phone call:

"how did you get my number?"
"you called and left a message for us asking for legal help"
"really? who referred me to you?"

later in that call:
"they can take my truck, but they can't take my breasts!"

oh, people are so interesting...

Author:  Owlish [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I work at Chili's now, doing the To-Go. I had a lady order six pieces of garlic toast today.
Just the toast.

O_o

Author:  j-dub [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Owlish wrote:
I work at Chili's now, doing the To-Go. I had a lady order six pieces of garlic toast today.
Just the toast.

O_o

That's my kind of woman.

Author:  katiejayne [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

eatmonaeat wrote:
um...I work in I.T., so, yeah people are often incomprehensible and frequently shouting at me- here are some gems:

This professor would call every Tuesday and Thursday at 3:00 when his class started:
Me: X College I.T. Help Desk, how can I help you?
Him: I need help setting up the technologies.

hm, I'll be right there sir, as clearly I am not going to be able to walk you through anything over the phone.

More recently:

Them: X software is running slowly
Me: Are you using internet explorer?
Them: Well you have to use the internet to get to the program.
Me: I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. What browser are you using?
Them: I'm not using a browser, I'm on the internet.
Me: (after some thinking) When you push 'the button for the internet', what does it look like?
Them: An orange swirl.
Me: Ahhh...you're in Firefox.
Them: no I'm not, I'm in x software.

gahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

A classic from a couple of years ago:
Me: Are you on a mac or a PC?
Them: Neither, I'm on a laptop.

One that happens ALL THE TIME, almost daily:

Me: I.T., how can I help you.
Them: I can't see anything.

My Internal Monologue: Really??!?! You can't see ANYTHING? If that's true you should probably go to a hospital IMMEDIATELY. WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS MEAN, DO YOU REALLY THINK I WON'T ASK ANY FOLLOW UPS?

Me actually speaking: Ok, well what exactly do you mean by that. Do you mean the monitor won't turn on?
Them: No, I hit a button and everything is gone.

My Internal Monologue: Consider the idea, for just a moment, that a computer company built a machine for mass-market use, and on that machine, there is one button that erases EVERYTHING. Why would they do that?

Me actually speaking: What's you're office number? I'll be right there.

HA! These are hilarious. I do all the data-y stuff at my small non-profit and I seem to be the go to person to ask when computers stop working, or if someone can't figure out how to do something on their phone. I guess I should take it as a compliment that they think data entry and analysis = computer problem solver. I usually know how to fix what they messed up but not always. My favorite was when acolumn in an excel spreadsheet was too narrow so it was showing some of the dates as ######. I walked into my co-worker's office and moved the line over. She thought those dates were gone forever.

Author:  raspberrycomplaint [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

My friend reminded me of this one. It happened a few years ago when she was volunteering at my work.

Staff member: Animal Shelter! How may I help you?
Caller: I want a sushi.
Staff: I'm sorry? What did you want?
Caller: A sushi! I want a sushi!
Staff: Sushi?
Caller: Yes! Sushi!
Staff: Ma'am, sushi is a food. This is an animal shelter.
Caller: I want a sushi! Sushi dog!
Staff: A dog? Is it a breed of dog?
Caller: Yes! Sushi. Shushi. Shu-Shu?
Staff: Shih tzu?
Caller: Yes. Shu-shu.
Staff: I'm sorry, we don't have any shih tzus right now, but I can give you the numbers for shih tzu rescue and other local shelters.

Five minutes after the call ends, the phone rings again. My friend answers it.

Friend: You've reached the animal shelter. How may I help you?
Caller: I want a sushi!

Author:  Tofulish [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I am not sure if I want sushi or if the idea of dog sushi is enough to turn me off sushi forever...

This is such a good thread.

I worked as a waitress at Sizzler's when I was in college and we had a customer bring his own fly in to "find" in the buffet to get a free meal. He "found" it, and I pointed out to the manager that there is no way that fly came from where he said it did (can't remember why). The manager agreed, but said it wasn't worth fighting over, so he comped the guy his meal.

I should thank my lucky stars that this is the worst I've gotten. I don't really work well with the public.

Author:  dropscone [ Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Someone left a long rambling message on my answer phone, so I called him back. They asked if I was a librarian and I said no. He was clearly disappointed his call wasn't being dealt with by someone on his level.

"Oh, not librarian? You won't know what words like thesaurus mean then".

This had absolutely nothing to do with the reason why he'd called.

Author:  bastah [ Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Today we had three really rude patrons.

I told a woman that she had a $2 fine and she went off on me. "I know and I'm not paying it now." Then she started mumbling to herself. "I'll pay it whenever I feel like paying it." I let her know that it only becomes an issue when it's above $2. She got huffy and said "Yeah, but every time I'm here, you guys still tell me how much my fine is." I explained that it's only because most people don't know that they have fines. And it's also my job, but I didn't say that part. Sorry, I couldn't include her expression, eye rolling, or tone of voice. She was way ruder than I'm making her out to be.

One said that his library card number wasn't working on the computer. He hadn't used his card in years, so it wasn't in the system anymore. We told him that he could get on the computer without a card by paying a dollar. "What's with this shiitake?" Then he stormed off saying "It's a forking library. It should be free." The librarian I was working with said that she remembered him from years back when he used to come in and he was a total crasshole back then too. Wow, you must be a jerk if someone remembers you that many years later.

Author:  fatcat [ Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

My weirdest one from retail: Sitting next to my boss in the loss prevention office and one of the overnight workers started masturbating on camera.

One from my current job that still makes me angry to this day: A neighbor dispute where an elderly lady tried to nicely ask her neighbors to pick up after their dog when it pooped in her yard. Their response was, among other things, to call her a Nazi, knowing that she was Jewish and escaped from the Holocaust as a child. The wife got a citation for not picking up after her dog and when I spoke to her regarding resolution, she saw nothing wrong with her behavior and was indignant about the citation.

Author:  Tofulish [ Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

I just can't even. My brain is blown.

Author:  GreenDuck [ Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Very Special Customers/Clients

Wow Fatcat.

I think I was a very special customer yesterday. On the online library catalogue I looked up some books on a topic I need to research and clicked to reserve them. Then I realised the library would shut at 1pm that day, be closed on Sunday and I'm going to be away from Monday morning 'til after the library closes next Saturday. Oh and I wanted to research this before next Monday.
So I went into the library, the books aren't in the reserved section yet but I find them on the shelves and pick out some other books as well. I take them to the fancy self service terminal. It won't let me take out the two books I reserved, as they are reserved by someone, but because they're pending it doesn't know that someone was me! The terminal lets me view my reservations but not cancel them. So I take those two books to a librarian and explain, he sorts it out for me and I go to leave. As I put the books in my bag I realise the other books I took out aren't there! I must have completely forgotten to take them. But they weren't in or beside the terminal. I had to go back to the librarian. It turned out someone had pressed the button to return the books and put them in the returns slot, so they were safe. We had to check my card record to see which books I'd chosen because at this point I couldn't think, then the librarian retrieved the books and tooked them out for me. Rather embarrassing.

Thank you, librarians everywhere.

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