Post Punk Kitchen Forum

For real. Please buy your own toilet paper instead of taking it from your doctors' office bathroom.

I get a lot of clients who call to ask how much of their incapacitated relative's money they can have without getting into any trouble. They're not supposed to take any of it under the terms of the Court orders we deal with, so what they're really asking is how much they can steal without any repercussions. It sucks. One pair of nieces took over 1/4 of a million from their aunt, which was more than 60% of her total estate, and accused me of making them feel like criminals when I told them to give it back.

When I am working at my desk and I ask how I can help you, the correct response is not "in more ways than one, gawgeous, HAW HAW HAW!" It will not end well for you, sir. Especially when you're in my office inquiring about hiring an attorney for a friend (or a friend, or a "friend") who is facing prostitution charges.

Also, being drunk enough at 9:30 am to stagger into my desk and move it a good foot=nice one.

Not exactly clients, but people who were screwing up my work nonetheless:

My work is located on a property that used to be the town "poor farm". There are some abandoned, falling-down buildings on the property (alms houses and an old barn). Apparently there are some local photographers who have recently decided that it is a great backdrop for photos. They were all over the place this weekend, having kids pose in the doorways of the houses (old, falling-down, lead paint, asbestos filled houses!). Some of the kids were playing on an old rusty swingset that was left outside one of the houses. Our volunteers were trying to walk dogs and they had to get past all the kids and people with cameras and some of the dogs were freaking out. And then one of the photographers dragged an old trunk into out parking lot, stuck it between two cars and had kids posing on it. In the middle of the parking lot! What about any of this seemed okay to the photographers? And the parents?

I don't even know where to begin when talking about this patron. So I'll skip all the back story (which includes him being currently temporarily banned) and say that he went to a different library today and told them how uncivilized we are at our branch, and that if he comes back, we all better watch out. He does know that we're part of the same library system, but perhaps he doesn't know that the staff at that library is good friends with the staff at mine? I'll make sure the police get involved

Yesterday a patron came in wanting to use the copy machine. Even though our machine takes dollar bills, he still wanted me to give him change. Um OK. Then he tells me that TWO YEARS ago, he came here to make a copy of a $600 check, and he left the check in the copier. He wanted to know why we didn't mail him the check since his address was on it. Then he goes on and on about how a librarian could have stolen it by us not mailing it to him, and how what we did wasn't legal. No one remembers this check. Two years later is a little late to come bisque at us. Perhaps it was mailed and it got lost in the mail. Maybe a patron found it in the copier and took it. Who knows? He went on for 15 minutes about it and there was absolutely nothing we could say or do to help him. Because you know, it happened two years ago. He knows that no one could cash the check now, but that doesn't matter.

said it before and say it again- when it comes to crazy clients i think the library folks win the thread, hands down

I am so sick of people going on vacation in the middle of their purchase loans and expecting us to alter our timeline to accommodate them. People. You are buying a home and asking me to provide you with a half million dollars to do so. It's a complicated process in which you are an active participant. What part of this suggests to you that it's a fine forking time to go to Disneyland?!

This is amazing!

I work for a corporation and every once in a while, you'll get people who tell me "This will cost the company $XXXX millions if you don't do this today". I've heard it enough that I'm like yeah, yeah whatever. What annoys me though is when my fellow support people pull the "$XXXX millions line". Look, its not going to cost the company millions, we do the best we can, if something is costing the company that much money, you should've thought of that last week.

Mentioned in worse thing thread, but...

Yesterday, I sold a typical kooky old seattleite some Autoharp strings. Oops. Guess I gave him the wrong ones (sorry but shouldn't you check?). Ok, fine, no big deal, we'll trade them out. He proceeds to go on to tell my coworker and I that he wants to cut off my pretty red hair. And put it on a spear. As a trophy. Like people used to do with heads during war. And parade it around like he won me.

WHAT. That is so not okay. I'm sorry you had such a bad day.

Woooooow. How was it necessary to say that? Thinking it is one thing, but saying it is another. Someone needs to learn how not to sweat the small stuff.

in my inbox this morning:



The last three full-time jobs I've had, I received emails like this on a weekly basis. I guess I have a knack for it.

who sent that e-mail? seamus?

He left a voicemail, too! The voicemail was a lot less garbled. I think alcohol was involved in both.

I do catering for bands and artists etc. and yesterday, upon looking at my carrot cake with white icing, this famous singer said: "If it's CARROT cake, har har, I take it that the white icing is semen, har har har." (Oh and before that, upon learning that they were having carrot cake for dessert, his wife said: "Oh hun, it's carrot cake. We don't like carrot cake.")

* SIGH *

Well, I personally love carrot cake! I'll have a slice! Or two or three...

Semen and carrots? I'm confused.

I am a receptionist at a vet clinic and last week about 7:30 AM, I got a totally dirty phone call! What kind of a nut job calls a vet clinic talking dirty before 8 AM?

Carrot = penis.
Icing = semen.

Yep. He went there.

"There" seems like a nonsensical place.

Yeah. It was very "Excuse me, what the fork just happened, did he really say what I heard him say, what the fork?"

Many of the library patrons who cause trouble will, no doubt, one day visit a place similar to Erika's workplace (out of necessity).

So much truth there.