| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:29 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 52 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:10 am 
Offline
Nailed to the V

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:24 pm
Posts: 599
I have a neighbor, in her 30s, who is obsessed with my yard. If my grass needs to be cut she calls the city planning department to complain about it. We're self-employed and we were busy in April. Usually it's always cut once a week. My grass was maybe two inches higher than what would look 'nice' but a lawn mower and twenty minutes took care of that this past Saturday. It's not like it looked like an abandoned house with grass up to the windows, we were just a week late in cutting it. But she called anyway to complain. Then earlier in April I planted some hostas near a curb so I wouldn't have to cut grass there, which doesn't grow well there anyway, it's under a tree and she called to complain that I planted flowers too close to the curb. This curb affects no one, it's just a curb, but she's obsessed with whatever I do to my yard. This has been going on for maybe four years, she calls to complain about whatever going on in my yard. We never know when she's going to strike. She's insane.

And I'm tired of it. I feel like it's harassment. I think she's doing this because she can't control what's going on in her life so she's trying to control something and she's fixated on my yard. Her first husband left her and now her second husband is out and has filed for divorce. She drinks wine like it's water and carries a wine glass with her when she's outside her house. We live in a small country town were everybody knows everybody.

So, I have a letter from the City Planning Department who wants to come to my house and, I guess, inspect my yard. This has gone beyond harassment and I need suggestions or ideas of how to get her to stop or how to get the City Planning Department to ignore her calls.

Also, I've talked to her about this but she feels like it's her right to call the City on me if she inspects my yard and doesn't feel like it's up to her standards. Her yard is nothing but grass, no plants, so I guess she's anti-plants. So, talking to her isn't going to help.

I know she isn't going to stop but is there anything I can do to make the City ignore her? I've been told they can't ignore a complaint but what can I do to get this madness stopped? I feel like I'm going to have to get in touch with a lawyer at this point.

Any suggestions?

Also, I get compliments all the time about the look of my yard. It's all shady so I have hostas and hydrageas that are gorgeous planted everywhere. Lot's of impatiens too. I'm always working in my yard, it's my hobby and I love beautiful plants. So it's not like it looks like an abandoned yard, I work hard to make it beautiful.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:17 am 
Offline
Prefers Jar Jar Binks over Han Solo
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:54 am
Posts: 2101
Location: Munich, finally!
That sounds really annoying, to say the least. Maybe if the City Planning Dept comes to see your yard they will realize that she's making insane complaints and will stop listening?

_________________
I dunno, I guess I just get enthused over eating big ol' squishy balls. - Interrobang?!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:18 am 
Offline
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 7820
Location: Seattle
I'm not sure I really have any advice, but I agree that she's harassing you. If the City comes out and inspects your yard and finds her complaints baseless, maybe they will feel more comfortable about disregarding her calls (if she sends them out a few times and all they find is a lovely, well-kept yard then she's sort of harassing them too.) It probably wouldn't cost a whole ton to have a lawyer write you up a letter citing the local ordinances about yard maintenance and stressing that you are operating well within the law and that, beyond that, it's not her right to dictate what your yard looks like. She'd probably ignore it though.

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:44 am 
Offline
Dr Bronners, MD
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:58 pm
Posts: 4702
Location: Santa Cruz whoop whoop
First, document. Every time she calls or harasses you, write down the details and the date and time.

Second, I suspect that if the city has to come out and look at your lawn and determine that she's just calling to pester you often enough, they will realize she's wasting their time. So, welcome them! You should be able to get some idea of what they think about her when the inspector is there. Make friends with the city! Share an eye-roll and a cup of coffee or tea or a glass of water or something while they're out there. They're probably happy to meet people who aren't mad at them or who they don't have to write up for some ordinance violation.

I don't know if you're in the US or what, but once you have this documented for a while (a couple of months, including city visits), you may be able to file a restraining order. Then if she does it again, she gets fined and can go to jail. Problem solved!

_________________
"Trolling an internet message board, The Greatest Activism Of All." - pandacookie
Вы такие сексапильные, когда злитесь


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:47 am 
Offline
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Posts: 10381
Location: Illinoize
Set her grass on fire and then call the city to complain about her burnt yard.

_________________
"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:55 am 
Offline
Double double, toil and trouble
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:24 pm
Posts: 320
Location: Boulder, CO
mrsbadmouth wrote:
Set her grass on fire and then call the city to complain about her burnt yard.


YES.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:10 am 
Offline
Lime and a Coconut
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 3490
Location: Smugville, CA
MBM, always the voice of reason.

But if the arson doesn't work out, I second everything else everyone has said. Especially about getting a restraining order or sending a cease-and-desist letter. This definitely qualifies as harrassment.

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
Too much woo, you guys. Too much woo ~Tofulish
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:12 am 
Offline
Mispronounces Daiya
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:31 pm
Posts: 1473
Location: In the land of Druids and Moonrakers
...there's always the rude topiary option to give her something to really complain about.

_________________
Cake is always the appropriate intervention. - choirqueer
We are here to discuss the gender politics of cats, not your mommy issues. - Expired Sanity


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:15 am 
Offline
Moving To Sheepshead Bay
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:39 pm
Posts: 5920
I'm guessing that you might not be the only neighbor she is harassing. Have you tried talking to the other neighbors to find out how they are dealing with her? Ask them to also document her harassment. She may already have a reputation with the city for calling all the time, and if enough neighbors complain about her, they may ban her from filing complaints, or at least stop taking her seriously.

_________________
"I'm no elephant, but now I want molasses." -Moon


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:18 am 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm
Posts: 1018
Location: East Tennessee!
Yes, I think documenting everything and making friends with the codes folks are great ideas.

I would also take pictures of your yard when she complains, and somehow have it dated. It might be overkill, but you would at least have visual documentation of how baseless her complaints are.

_________________
Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends.
~ George Bernard Shaw


"God said, kill and eat!" ~ my grandmother


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:39 am 
Offline
Nailed to the V

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:24 pm
Posts: 599
The city department is half a block from my house so I'm sure if I had a yard problem they would see it on their way to work. And my block only has seven houses, including mine and hers so there's only five other houses she could complain about. I asked my husband to ask the neighbors if they're getting anonymous complaints too. I know it's her because she told me she calls when I confronted her. Grrr. It just peas me off. What the heck does a mid 30's woman care about my yard?

Anyway, I think having someone official coming to my yard to inspect is actually a good thing. This past complaint was that I had 'tall grass and weeds' in my yard and I planted some beautiful plants too close to the curb.

Also, she's ruined any good karma I had. She can't die painfully enough to suit me.

But I have the letter as documentation for this time. The other times she's called to complain someone from someplace official would come (without letting us know ahead of time) and weed-whack the curb. That's it. I think they're getting tired of her complaints.

Anyway, I will let you know what happens after the official Dude comes out for a look-see and I talk to him about harassment and getting this stopped. I feel like she's not going to stop but at least the official Dude will know she's a nutjob.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:51 am 
Offline
And you never will.
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:41 pm
Posts: 4323
Location: Memphis
Wow, harsh words. I understand that you're frustrated and speaking from that, but yikes.

This does remind me of our old neighbor, though. He didn't like it that we didn't keep our grass super-short, so we came home one day to find him cutting our grass without our permission. He said he was trying to do us a 'favor'.

Then he dug up a plant that was on our property because he didn't like it. The plant was at the end of our drive, right on the border between our yards, but clearly on our property. He claimed he thought it was in his yard (it had been there since before he moved in).

Plus, as he was digging it up, he cut through our cable connection, which destroyed our internet connection. We are self-employed and run an internet-based business from home. We called to have the cable fixed, and after they came out to reconnect it, it was just strung along side our driveway until the other crew could come out to bury it. Our neighbor 'accidentally' cut through it again while weed-whacking the next day. I really didn't like that guy.

I still wouldn't wish him a painful death, though.

_________________
I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 11:45 am 
Offline
Nailed to the V

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:24 pm
Posts: 599
If I had a nice old guy wanting to work in my yard, I'd have plenty for him to do. I'm dealing with four years of harassment, invasion of privacy and now she's forcing a third party into this to mediate whatever the problem is. She's not some sweet old lady trying to help me out. The responses here tell me I'm being harassed. I feel like this is a guilty until proven innocent kind of raw deal. And an inconvenience since now I have to stay home from work when this official Dude is scheduled to inspect my yard. All while she gets to sit on her front porch with her glass of wine and watch her world go by.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 11:52 am 
Offline
And you never will.
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:41 pm
Posts: 4323
Location: Memphis
By "old neighbor" I meant "former neighbor" (we have since moved). This was not a nice old man who wanted to work in our yard, this was a middle-aged man who was a crasshole to us, broke into our backyard to steal things, and called code enforcement on us when one of our cars broke down and spent too long (in his opinion) on our driveway without moving.

I think it sucks that you're being harassed, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I genuinely hope things work out for you soon, but I still think that wishing a painful death on someone just because they are inconveniencing your life is a horrible thing.

_________________
I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:00 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:03 pm
Posts: 2239
Location: I can't believe it's not England!
poopiebitch wrote:

I think it sucks that you're being harassed, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I genuinely hope things work out for you soon, but I still think that wishing a painful death on someone just because they are inconveniencing your life is a horrible thing.


This. It totally sucks that you're being harassed and I'm sorry, but wishing painful death on someone isn't ok.

_________________
"Vegan to me means Oreos for breakfast." -Poopiebitch
"tl;dr: I quit working to drink beer paid for with gift cards" erikasoyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:24 pm 
Offline
Baking In The Flavor
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:46 pm
Posts: 183
Location: The Bay Area
I would document everything. Get a copy of the report when they come to inspect. Find out if there are any past reports and get those. Keep a log of all her complaints and just generally harassing behavior. I would also talk to the department supervisor, explain the situation and ask how they plan to handle future calls. Hopefully they can help mitigate some of this.

I'm not sure on what basis you would get a RO or TRO for since she's not really coming onto your property or physically introding on your space. If she's not calling you to complain, I'm not sure that you can get a RO/TRO that would restrain her from calling the department. But, you could probably file something else for some type of harassment -- something civil, I'd imagine.

BUT... I'm not sure that would help your situation. It might just give her extra fuel to start a crusade against you. In my line of work, I've seen situations like this escalate into full-on civil wars because the unsane party refuses to give up. It can be long and expensive, and just very unpleasant.

Can you talk to her and offer that she can come and mow your lawn if she feels it's too long? That might shut her up.

_________________
Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
Buddha

My wee blog:

http://www.mommethree.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:29 pm 
Offline
Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 8:00 am
Posts: 221
I take it a giant phallus in weedkiller on her lawn is a bit far?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:41 pm 
Offline
Just Loathin' Around!
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:17 pm
Posts: 7150
Location: bindlestiff
She isn't talking to you, she just calls the City to complain? How do you know this? Do you get a letter or notice from the City each time she complains about something? Do they then come to see what is up or just request that you do whatever she is saying needs to be done? Because if you feel she's complaining with no merit you can certainly ignore the letters you may be getting about your bushes existing.
And yes, there are many people out there who don't have much to do or feel the need to control everything that happens near them. If you honestly feel there is nothing wrong with your yard then I would definitely have a talk with the inspector who comes out and maybe even go over and have them chat with annoying neighbor. if you can make her inconvenienced by it somehow she might stop.

_________________
Ovoids=not vegan --invictus

Panda With Cookie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:42 pm 
Offline
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Posts: 10381
Location: Illinoize
I wish people painful deaths all the time, there's a difference between saying something out of anger and threatening someone. Peri isn't threatening to do her neighbor harm, she's just venting on a message board.

_________________
"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:56 pm 
Offline
Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:10 pm
Posts: 2457
Location: Midlands, UK
I used to work on a police/local authority helpline. If someone continuously called us to complain about their neighbour and it turned out they were making it up, or not willing to accept our solution, after a while we would say their complaint was "vexatious" and refuse to enter into any more correspondence with them. I would say that this is what will happen to your neighbour, if your garden is not violating any neighbourhood standards.

_________________
"The lack of obstacles between me and cake is one of the best things about being a grownup for sure." - coldandsleepy

"and by "load of facts" you mean a bag of flaming poop, right?" - supercarrot


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:00 pm 
Offline
Nailed to the V

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:24 pm
Posts: 599
I called the official Dude and he's coming over tomorrow at 11. We talked and he knows where my house is and thought there wasn't going to be a problem. But because of my neighbor's complaint he has to come to my house to make it all official. A waste of everyone's time. He said that they come out to inspect if the grass and weeds were a foot high. I said "yeah, the tall grass and weeds in my yard are called Daylillies." He laughed and said, yeah, I saw that and knew that's what they were. So, he's already seen my house and knows there's not a problem, but we're going to waste everyone's time anyway to please my neighbor. And I asked him if there was a problem and if I did everything I could to fix it could he get my neighbor to stop harassing me. He said he didn't know who it was complaining and I said, well, I do (because she told me she called when I confronted her.) And he said he didn't deal with that sort of thing. So she gets off with nothing done to her, but I'm dealing with a guilty until proven innocent raw deal. Not fair.

And I know this won't be the last time she calls for whatever reason to complain again and again about my yard. She needs to move on and fixate on someone else. And she needs to learn the difference between a weed and a perennial.

Lame drama, I know, but a pita anyway.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:11 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:40 pm
Posts: 2145
If she's sad and looking for a place to focus negative energy, you could try deflecting it. What if you took her some muffins or cookies? Maybe you just need to get her on your side and then she'll stop.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:56 pm 
Online
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18893
Location: Cliffbar NJ
My physical therapist has the same problem. His neighbor is an elderly widow who makes sure that not one week goes by without an angry call to the city. He has to take time out of his day to oversee the surveyors to make sure his pond isn't too close to her property line or that he doesn't have too many bird feeders.

I don't know why someone would fixate on one neighbor, but I'd just ignore them and not give them any energy.

I am also a crasshole, so she'd end up on a mailing list for sex toy catalogues.

Celyn is a better person than I am :) (but we knew that :) ).

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:14 pm 
Offline
Spent a night at the Bates Motel
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:31 pm
Posts: 2091
Location: detroit, mi
I think you should fill your backyard and front lawn with lawn gnomes. Partially to peas off your neighbor. Partially because lawn gnomes are AWESOME!

Really though Peri, I'm sorry you're going through this. My mom has a neighbor like this, and my mom is like a saint and does so many nice things for her neighbors, including the biatch that calls the city about her lawn. The few odd toys that her six year old grandson has in the back yard are real offensive, apparently.

_________________
I'm still buddhist & I still love cupcakes.
My crochet blog! http://threadbythreadzen.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: I have a crazy neighbor problem and need your input.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:26 pm 
Offline
Not NOT A Furry
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:16 am
Posts: 464
dakini wrote:
I think you should fill your backyard and front lawn with lawn gnomes. Partially to peas off your neighbor. Partially because lawn gnomes are AWESOME!

Really though Peri, I'm sorry you're going through this. My mom has a neighbor like this, and my mom is like a saint and does so many nice things for her neighbors, including the biatch that calls the city about her lawn. The few odd toys that her six year old grandson has in the back yard are real offensive, apparently.


this. But you must arrange them in a menacing manner as if they are marching on your neighbors house for revenge. Each night go outside and move them all one step closer to her yard

_________________
No gods, no masters, no woo, no whey!
Be skeptical not susceptible!
http://skepticalvegan.wordpress.com


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 52 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot], ijustdiedinside, Tofulish and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer