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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:48 am 
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vijita wrote:
vixki wrote:
Aww congrats vijita!!

I just ordered my cakes - decided not to go for a traditional cake because bleh, fruitcake. Instead ordered a Double Chocolate cake, a Strawberry Gateau and a Black Forest cake from the vegan cakery...who are actually so nice!

And I have a dress fitting tomorrow and I have my shoes! Eeee! It's all getting close and I'm very excited.

Now I just gotta hope this damn acne breakout I'm having doesn't happen on the wedding day!

Congrats! I was so nervous until the rehearsal, but everything fell into place so perfectly.

Gross! Fruitcake is traditional in the UK? Yeah, you made some better choices. Have so much fun!

It used to be traditional in Canada too! My parents had a fruticake because it was 1966 and that's what was done.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:50 am 
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monkeytoes wrote:
It used to be traditional in Canada too! My parents had a fruticake because it was 1966 and that's what was done.


I think fruitcake is traditional because it lasts so long. Like, you're meant to post cake out to people who can't come. I'm not going to do that! And stuff about sleeping on cake, but I'm not entirely sure about that.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:56 am 
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I'm so glad that tradition never trickled down from my English heritage!

Fruitcake lasts suspiciously long! We sell a packaged one at work and the best-before dates are crazy. And it's even a really natural one! Except the rats (it's a farmhouse) got to it recently and I have to say I wasn't all that distraught to dispose of it since it makes me gag just looking at it.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:22 pm 
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Lovely, GP! I'm glad you had such a great day.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:41 pm 
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vijita wrote:
I'm so glad that tradition never trickled down from my English heritage!

Fruitcake lasts suspiciously long! We sell a packaged one at work and the best-before dates are crazy. And it's even a really natural one! Except the rats (it's a farmhouse) got to it recently and I have to say I wasn't all that distraught to dispose of it since it makes me gag just looking at it.


damn rats! personally, I love fruitcake. i want your fruitcake. :)

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:20 pm 
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I don't know what else to say besides <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
And: <4

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:22 pm 
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I don't know if I told yall yet but I'm getting married not this october, but the one in 2014. We wanted to have a long time to plan and not have to rush, since we're having it in Georgia where I'm from, and will have to gather people from the north, south and other countries to get everyone there. Also I'm catholic and want to do the pre canna classes and things required so we can get married in the church, so ample time is nice. I just wanted to let everyone know. So far my ideas for wedding stuff are vauge, but we know we want to use live plants as the centerpieces in decorative pots or something so they can double as guest presents. It seems special for someone to have plants living as a reminder of a special time, not to mention getting rid of the waste that cut flowers create by not using them. Have to choose something hearty or else it could be sad when the plants die for some people.

I have no idea how much to budget, because I feel like even though we want to make it simple, we will have to provide some funds for transportation of people, and it will probably be expensive since there will be a lot of people in attendance (I have a very large family). It will be on our 5th anniversary together, so its nice to not replace the real anniversary day with a new one for getting married. I don't know what I want to do with my name yet, since I want to take his, but I also like mine. Is it acceptable to use two last names but not hyphenated, do you think?


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:38 pm 
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I think it's perfectly acceptable but, fair warning, some computer systems are persnickety. I have a friend whose last name is Old New, not hyphenated. Some systems can't handle a two word last name so they either have to do OldNew, or just New and treat Old as a middle name, which is totally incorrect. I guess just be prepared to have to explain a lot.

Also, congrats!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:27 pm 
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Vijita and her husband and vegan truffles. To see a few more wedding photos, including a behind-the-scenes Madame Puddington shot, click the spoiler.
Spoiler: show
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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:54 pm 
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Adorable pics! Congrats again, vijita!!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:29 pm 
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Awww! The last pic of Julia and Jess is my fave! Also, I can't believe you made Madame Puddington wear a hat. She is lucky she was surrounded by four vegan crazy cat ladies.

Thanks Meggs! And congrats V_A! You can have this thread now. :) Getting married is pretty fun.

ETA: And thanks nebraskalaska! And anyone else I might have mistakenly missed!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:47 am 
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aw, i love this!

<3

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:16 am 
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Well I had my dress fitting today! Whoo :D And it fits nicely. Only I am all PMS bloated so I hope it still fits come three months :p

I need to decide what I'm going to do for makeup on the day. Because I am absolutely terrible at applying makeup :/

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:12 pm 
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jdfunks wrote:
I don't know what else to say besides <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
And: <4

Yes, this. <3!!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:56 pm 
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I love you guys!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:32 am 
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vegetable_assassin wrote:
I don't know if I told yall yet but I'm getting married not this october, but the one in 2014. We wanted to have a long time to plan and not have to rush, since we're having it in Georgia where I'm from, and will have to gather people from the north, south and other countries to get everyone there. Also I'm catholic and want to do the pre canna classes and things required so we can get married in the church, so ample time is nice. I just wanted to let everyone know. So far my ideas for wedding stuff are vauge, but we know we want to use live plants as the centerpieces in decorative pots or something so they can double as guest presents. It seems special for someone to have plants living as a reminder of a special time, not to mention getting rid of the waste that cut flowers create by not using them. Have to choose something hearty or else it could be sad when the plants die for some people.

I have no idea how much to budget, because I feel like even though we want to make it simple, we will have to provide some funds for transportation of people, and it will probably be expensive since there will be a lot of people in attendance (I have a very large family). It will be on our 5th anniversary together, so its nice to not replace the real anniversary day with a new one for getting married. I don't know what I want to do with my name yet, since I want to take his, but I also like mine. Is it acceptable to use two last names but not hyphenated, do you think?


I think I tend to see the opposite with people with longer engagements as they seem to be more stressed because they have more time to think about things. We had a 4 month engagement so basically, it was rush rush done. I also chose to get married further away from my family so that I could have a smaller wedding.

In terms of budget, it is something you should figure out pretty early as it'll dictate a lot of things like your guest list. In this, you should also make sure you budget travel as well. Although it may cost more, you may even want to consider a wedding planner or an 'all inclusive' type place so that someone can help you figure things out like decorations, flowers, bakery, etc. If you have a local relative that would be willing to help that you trust, that would be good but I'd also expect to compensate that relative in some way.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:53 am 
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Serious PPKbabes in that photo! Awww, I love it.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:16 pm 
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linanil wrote:

I think I tend to see the opposite with people with longer engagements as they seem to be more stressed because they have more time to think about things. We had a 4 month engagement so basically, it was rush rush done. I also chose to get married further away from my family so that I could have a smaller wedding.


I was engaged for like, ever, and I didn't have that experience! Then again, my wedding was lunch at my favourite restaurant with 30 people. Good stuff :)

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:10 pm 
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linanil wrote:
vegetable_assassin wrote:
I don't know if I told yall yet but I'm getting married not this october, but the one in 2014. We wanted to have a long time to plan and not have to rush, since we're having it in Georgia where I'm from, and will have to gather people from the north, south and other countries to get everyone there. Also I'm catholic and want to do the pre canna classes and things required so we can get married in the church, so ample time is nice.


I think I tend to see the opposite with people with longer engagements as they seem to be more stressed because they have more time to think about things. We had a 4 month engagement so basically, it was rush rush done. I also chose to get married further away from my family so that I could have a smaller wedding.


I think it kind of depends on the personalities of the people doing the planning. I have a friend who will have been engaged a year and a half by the time she gets married (if she doesn't push the date out further for a third time) and she's a zoo and totally overwhelmed by choices and can't commit to anything. I think it's partly a function of having a long time to plan and partly just her. She can never pick a restaurant, either, ha.

That said, we had a catholic wedding and did all the marriage prep stuff that entailed and you do need a long lead time. It's pretty much impossible to have a whirlwind wedding if you want to get married in the church.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:42 am 
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Pinko wrote:
linanil wrote:
vegetable_assassin wrote:
I don't know if I told yall yet but I'm getting married not this october, but the one in 2014. We wanted to have a long time to plan and not have to rush, since we're having it in Georgia where I'm from, and will have to gather people from the north, south and other countries to get everyone there. Also I'm catholic and want to do the pre canna classes and things required so we can get married in the church, so ample time is nice.


I think I tend to see the opposite with people with longer engagements as they seem to be more stressed because they have more time to think about things. We had a 4 month engagement so basically, it was rush rush done. I also chose to get married further away from my family so that I could have a smaller wedding.


I think it kind of depends on the personalities of the people doing the planning. I have a friend who will have been engaged a year and a half by the time she gets married (if she doesn't push the date out further for a third time) and she's a zoo and totally overwhelmed by choices and can't commit to anything. I think it's partly a function of having a long time to plan and partly just her. She can never pick a restaurant, either, ha.

That said, we had a catholic wedding and did all the marriage prep stuff that entailed and you do need a long lead time. It's pretty much impossible to have a whirlwind wedding if you want to get married in the church.


I completely understand that aspect but I've known a lot of people that drove themselves crazy for over a year planning and it was all they talked about. I also think it contributes somewhat to the bridezilla mentality because you've been planning a specific day for a long time and if things don't go as planned, you freak out.

All I'd say is if you have a long engagement, don't let the planning consume you like it does for so many.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:33 am 
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Long engagement over here! Mine was more logistics than anything else about not knowing when I'd be able to have a break during my clinical rotations, but by the time we get married, we'll have been engaged for a little over 3 years... Haha. We've already been together for nearly 5 years and live together, so we figured, "What's the rush?" I mean, it's POSSIBLE that one day we'll get fed up with the waiting and run down to city hall, but I'm a pretty patient person and I want to be able to have the kind of wedding and honeymoon we've talked about without worrying about my inflexible schedule. And yeah, losing some weight would be great too, considering sitting on my butt studying all day for the past two years hasn't exactly been kind to my figure... Hah.

That said, I don't really think we'll be the type that gets too caught up in the planning phase since we both decided that we'd really like to have a destination wedding, most likely in Vegas, so that we can just pick our package (right now we're strongly considering The Venetian), show up with our close family and friends all dolled up, and have a great time. Plus I figure I'll be able to fully relax, knowing that I'm done with school and have a pretty big chunk of time off before having to start residency.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:50 am 
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Freetahtah wrote:
Long engagement over here! Mine was more logistics than anything else about not knowing when I'd be able to have a break during my clinical rotations, but by the time we get married, we'll have been engaged for a little over 3 years... Haha. We've already been together for nearly 5 years and live together, so we figured, "What's the rush?" I mean, it's POSSIBLE that one day we'll get fed up with the waiting and run down to city hall, but I'm a pretty patient person and I want to be able to have the kind of wedding and honeymoon we've talked about without worrying about my inflexible schedule. And yeah, losing some weight would be great too, considering sitting on my butt studying all day for the past two years hasn't exactly been kind to my figure... Hah.

That said, I don't really think we'll be the type that gets too caught up in the planning phase since we both decided that we'd really like to have a destination wedding, most likely in Vegas, so that we can just pick our package (right now we're strongly considering The Venetian), show up with our close family and friends all dolled up, and have a great time. Plus I figure I'll be able to fully relax, knowing that I'm done with school and have a pretty big chunk of time off before having to start residency.


Yeah, I had a friend who wanted to wait until after college but she didn't start planning until less than a year prior to her wedding so it was something like a 3 year engagement. I think that is a bit different mentality than people who move weddings out to have enough time to plan. Again, nothing wrong with longer engagements but I've seen so many friends be totally frazzled by the time the day actually comes if they have been planning for 12-18 months. Not everyone drives themselves crazy though but I'd say relax, enjoy the process and it is truly only 1 day in many days.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:32 pm 
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Vijita your wedding looks so amazing & beautiful! You guys look super adorable & happy in the pictures and yay for PPKers and vegan food!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:37 pm 
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Honestly, the thing about weddings and wedding vendors in particular is that there is only so much you can do ahead of time. We had a year long engagement, and planned super well. We made sure to get everything done in advance that we possibly could, but the month-of rolled around and it became all-wedding-all-the-time. If you're having a wedding on the larger side that's just kind of how it is, vendors want to have final meetings, and guests don't RSVP until 2 or 3 weeks out.

That being said, it wasn't that bad at all. Only the final week was somewhat-stressful.

Also, I move to ban the word Bridezilla. This post about is good. And her book, A Practical Wedding, goes a bit deeper into why it's not okay to call women that.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:57 pm 
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I don't think women are bridezillas but I think, as that article points out, there are super stressed out moments that cause people (men and women) to go act erratically, that is why I said it was the bridezilla mentality. I don't mean it as a way to put women down and during our wedding planning, the day prior my husband had what I called a bridezilla moment. Basically, when you have to worry about every small thing, it can be stressful. I don't know if there is another word for 'wedding day related stressed out moments'.

(And at the time, I was also obsessed with the Bridezilla reality show but I do think that helped take some of the stress off for me at least)

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