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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:37 pm 
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Mispronounces Daiya
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how many people will you be having? what are you thinking about making?


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:05 pm 
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Drinks Wild Tofurkey
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We are having around 80 people and right now I am thinking of doing the little lemon mousse pies and chocolate peanut butter tartlettes from VPITS...they are both 4 inches and meet the needs of the chocolate and non-chocolate crowds. The only big issue I can think of is that we will be leaving for our location Thursday and the wedding is Saturday so we'd need to find a way to store them for 2 nights...otherwise I'm kind of feeling better about it than I am about having someone else do it.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:43 am 
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Fizzgig wrote:
I was writing this whole complainy thing, but instead I will go with this: I get really insulted when told I am being a 'bridezilla'. For some reason it hurts a lot; I haven't quite figured out why *this* term is so hurtful, but it made me cry tonight, which is then embarrassing.

Hate hate hate. Basically our whole lives we (women) are told that our wedding will be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE! But at the same time, most of weddings are silly, frivolous, girly things, and to care too much about details is wrong. But you're getting married, how could you not be excited at all times?!?!?! But a "bridezilla" cares TOO much.

It's just another bullshiitake sexist line we always have to walk. Look attractive, but make it look effortless. Don't gain weight, but give the impression that you can eat whatever you want. And in this case, make your wedding awesome, but don't let anyone know that it actually takes work!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 8:56 pm 
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^ so so so accurate. My wedding (in like 3 weeks how the hell did that happen) is relatively low-key but I care about the things that are going to happen so I feel like I'm constantly fighting with all these people (relatives mostly) who feel that they need to have a say in 'what must be done'. fork off, if you have a problem with how I'm doing things pleeeease don't come.

My mom wanted to throw me a bridal shower, and I said I didn't care. So this dinner thing is next week, and it's all her friends, at a non-vegan restaurant with a chef that doesn't understand vegan food. Sooo I should have put up a bigger fight initially because this is absolutely bullshiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 5:00 pm 
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Ugh. That sounds like a not-about-you bridal shower...and would be why I declined. Apparently not gracefully, though, as I am a bridezilla. An example of my attrociousness: refusing to appologize to my aunt for having my wedding in my home state and making her and all my relatives spend $$$ to travel here. I'm sorry, but WHERE did you think I would have it?

The update I came here to give: I found a bakery that is available for my date! and delivers! and makes all their products vegan! and is affordable! I am so stoked. I probably won't get to taste beforehand, but how exciting is that? Since I'm getting married in 1 1/2 months things were getting a bit frantic...hurrah!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:47 pm 
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Yay! The cake is the most important part!!! So excited for you. We are also having a super short engagement (about 10 weeks) so I understand frantic. It's crazy. Ughhh! I can't believe people are mad that you're having it in your home state. I think that is absolutely hilarious. I wish we could tell people who are PITAs just not to come.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:35 pm 
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Drinks Wild Tofurkey
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I think I will now use you for my "see, it can be done shorter than ours!" example since everyone is freaking out that we're going to be at 9.5 months and apparently that is insane.

Yeah, I keep saying maybe my relatives who are upset by this, but managed to go to Florida for my cousin's wedding, should just not come. Sorry I don't live in a vacation state. I think Wisco is pretty rad, though, so...

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 8:56 pm 
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9.5 months is just fine! I have a friend who got engaged at Christmas and they're getting married in 2 weeks. Short engagements flicks the weasel.

Randi, 10 weeks is awesome! And I totally hear you about the shower situation - I didn't want one either and my mom did the same thing with throwing a party and it was mostly their friends. It was awkward as hell.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:22 pm 
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The best part is that today my mom showed me the dress she wants to wear to the shower. It would be fancy at a black-tie gala, let alone a supposedly casual dinner in a restaurant. I mean. I figured some people would wear jeans. It's ridic. So I've realized that she just wants a party for herself, and since she never had a wedding (courthouse marriage), she is using mine as her chance, maybe subconsciously. I told my dad they should renew their vows so she can have her own thing and not usurp mine, hahaha.

Focusing on the best part (cake (mine from Vegan Treats!!!!)) helps.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:58 pm 
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Fizzgig, I'll totally fond to your non vacation spot wedding. But I will still resent you for not having it in Florida.

Should I call my best friend a bridezilla for getting married in Peru because her fiance's family is there? BUT I WANT FLORIDA?!?!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:33 pm 
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Yeah, my sweetie (er...husband! I guess!) and I decided, after casually talking about it for a couple of months, that we would actually-really do this getting married thing in mid-March, and we just got married at the end of June. I think 3.5 months was totally fine. There were definitely times when I was like "why are we doing this?" and "why didn't I give myself more time?" but I know that more time wouldn't have actually meant less stressful, it would have just meant more time to procrastinate making decisions + more time to feel stressed. I kind of liked the "get it over and done with" approach to wedding planning. It did mean that there were people from out of state who weren't able to attend because they didn't have enough notice to make travel plans, save money for airfare, etc. but almost all of our family members and even many out-of-town friends were able to make it, and it was all great! Also, for us, part of doing it on kind of short notice was that my mom and step-mom are both teachers, so doing it in the summer made it way easier for my family to come from Michigan to Chicago, and his parents aren't in the greatest of health, so we wanted to do it this year instead of waiting a whole nother year because you never know what will happen between now and then, and we really wanted them to both be able to be there.

Anyway, Fizzgig, sounds like you are being totally reasonable and rational, and your whiny relatives are being guestzillas!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 10:31 pm 
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Oh man, my friend who I absolutely adore but who is a bit of a bridezilla (I'm a bridesmaid) is really stressing me out! I had no idea she had it in her to want a cheesy staguette with limos, excessive drinking, and a stripper, but this is *not* the type of thing I am accustomed to or excited about planning. In fact, I feel like I'm pretending to be a different person trying to navigate what kind of thing people will actually get a kick out of. I'm living in the province where her wedding is in several weeks, but I just moved here over a month ago and have been insanely busy with work/house stuff/work event organizing that I still have no idea how to figure out what I should be planning and how much is expected of me. I'm also one of five bridesmaids (none of whom I've ever met), and I feel like they are trying to compete for best bridesmaid award or something, and I'm so uninterested. I ADORE my friend but I feel like I'm too old for this! I can't even afford the hotel we are staying at both on her wedding weekend AND for the staguette which is in a city I live one hour from and I had suggested I be DD so I can drive home but she insists I drink and have a slumber party with her and the other girls. I feel so old. Sitting on the couch with my cats > taking shots in bars.

At least she is vegan, so there will be good food for all these days of weddingness! SO MUCH weddingness. My wedding was like a spontaneous coffee date compared to this. We paid like nothing for our wedding, and some people definitely did because they came from away (hi adorable PPKers who came to my wedding!), but I was definitely very strict about not wanting my guests to be going broke or taking on huge responsibilities (besides taking care of my cat for a couple of days--thanks US PPK contingent!) because people are busy, right?

Anyway, I know it will be fun but I really wish I could just plan and then opt out of the extraneous stuff. I get that it's a destination wedding for 90% of her guests (and would have been for us if we didn't randomly decide to move across the country) so it's important to make sure they get a vacation out of it, but unfortunately I can't afford a vacation!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:05 am 
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Fizzgig wrote:
I am on the verge of deciding to bake my own wedding dessert. I can't decide if I'm totally insane or if this is the most awesome idea ever.


When I got married we did everything super DIY except for splurging on a caterer. We got a fully vegan menu from them, but the one place they kind of failed on was vegan deserts - the only offer really was fruit, if I remember correctly. Since we were doing everything so DIY I was like, no big deal! I'll just do the desserts myself. We planned on getting a small (just two tiers) spendy "wedding" cake from a vegan bakery here in Brooklyn just for us to cut and then for us and our wedding party to eat, and then to have a dessert table with various things for people to choose from (I struggled a bit with cutting a wedding cake that we weren't ultimately going to share with everyone and then I said, screw it! It's my wedding!). I was going to make all of the desserts for the dessert table, because I love to bake and I knew what I wanted.

Anyways, in the end I didn't really end of baking much of the dessert table! We had two kinds of bundt cake - both recipes from veganomicon (the lemon coconut one and the lower fat chocolate bundt cake). I asked the caterer if I could provide them with the recipes for them to make and they were cool with it, and didn't charge a crazy amount. My mother in law likes to bake cookies so I spent a weekend with her about a month before the wedding and we baked a few batches each of 4 different kinds of cookies (which she then froze in her plentiful extra freezer space that I don't have and brought with her the weekend of). And then my cousin offered as her wedding gift to us to chip in, and she baked I think somewhere between 5 and 7 strawberry rhubarb pies. Typing it out that sounds like a crazy amount of desserts, but it ended up being perfect! We had a really beautiful looking dessert table spread (I brought the few cake stands I have and we asked some family members and friends to brings some for us to borrow) and it was great because people could have as much or as little as they wanted of whichever dessert. The cookies were great for the little kids because they could keep going back for them, and the whole vibe of it really fit in with our wedding overall. And in the end we had very little left over - maybe like half of one bundt cake, half of one pie and a few cookies here and there.

My advice would be, if you're not doing much other DIY stuff, go for it! We were doing so much of everything ourselves that in the end, I was out of my mind to think that I could also bake some cakes and pies in the week/days leading up to the date. I was spread so thin as it was, finishing up (among other things) the decorations, and the jam we had as favors. We ordered our own flowers wholesale to arrange ourselves and we had the wedding upstate where my aunt lives in a small community on a lake. They have a community space of sorts on the lake with a big wrap around porch available to rent for a song to people in the community, and it was perfect for our (tiny) budget, but that also meant we had to do EVERYTHING ourselves. We had a major set up/decoration day the day before, and we also had to take everything down the day after. Anyways, all details you don't need! My point is that I was stretched so thin both mentally and with actual time because of everything we were doing/needed to do, that if I had tried to throw in the added pressure of dessert making I would have lost my mind. If your DIY components are minimal, doing the desserts yourself would be a great way to add a piece of yourself into the day!

Sorry to get so rambley about my wedding! It's hard not to get excited about talking about it when I think about it, it was such a labor of love and it all ended up so great (despite the small issues that are, I think, inevitable when you take on so much yourself).

ETA - whoops! just saw your follow up post about the vegan bakery - that's so great!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:57 am 
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Congrats Aelle! You look so beautiful and happy. I love the red shoes with your dress, and your herb centerpieces sound delightful!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:11 am 
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electric_claire wrote:

My dad made an amazing appearance as "Joey the Pump" the WWF-style pro water chugger, one tiny child sang "twinkle twinkle little star" and another played the Star Wars theme song on the keyboard, some of our weird friends played a 6-minute song on the guitar and trombone where the only lyrics are "donde estan los pantalones?", some friends read a series of haikus, another friend read a short poem about Michael's and my love of giardinera while I hula hooped, Michael played guitar and sang a creepy stalker Morrissey song at me, my bff who is a Storycorps facilitator and generally awesome oral historian told the funniest story about the two of us meeting Michael in a bike repair class that he was teaching, and each of us wondering, respectively, if he liked boys or girls.

This sounds like the best wedding ever! Congrats Claire and Michael! (Will you post some pictures Claire?)

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:23 pm 
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My wedding dress came in! It fits like a dream, the only alterations are tilting the cups at the top, hemming, bustling it, and attaching the belt so it doesn't shift during the night. I love it! 34 days and counting. Things are finally coming together.

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Love is like a pineapple, sweet and undefinable ~ Piet Hein


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:58 am 
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That's great Fizzgig!

My mom is going to fly out sometime in the next month to go dress shopping with me... luckily she is a patient shopper, is super excited to dress shop with me, and is pretty honest about what looks good on me so it should be fun. My best friend will go with us just in case I get snappy (my mom and I get along, but barely sometimes).

I nailed down a photographer! It's a friend who doesn't really do weddings, but I love her style (and price) and she's happy to do the posed things we want and then do her own thing for the rest of it. I also found someone to make cake! Another acquaintance who can definitely do vegan chocolate, which is fine. And her cakes are SO pretty. My sister is making a guestbook (she does bookbinding) and her and my fiancé figured out all of the details for that. Which means we have some sort of color theme that they picked and I need to find out what it is!

I should make a list of the things we need to do: invitations, food, dj, officiant, ring, honeymoon. That doesn't sound too bad to have done within 3 months. I'm so glad we got the venue a couple of months ago. I got really unexcited about the wedding thing for a while, but excitement is picking back up again. My guy is excited too which is cute.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:06 pm 
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Oh, Pi., let us know how dress shopping goes! And it sounds like you have some awesome stuff lined up...what color/theme did they do for the guestbook (if you know yet!)?

Our wedding rings came in today! They fit and look super shiny. The only thing I'm really stressed about at this point is getting the pie finalized. And writing the ceremony...that is kind of key. Also, apparently I don't have enough people for the minimum I was supposed to hit (75) but I think that just means they charge us for that many no matter what...I hope. Oops.

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Love is like a pineapple, sweet and undefinable ~ Piet Hein


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 9:52 pm 
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My mom will be here Sept 6-9 for the shopping trip! Should be interesting, but I'm getting excited to try on dresses. I'm moving the week before that so it'll be a bit hectic between now and then.
Our colors are burgundy, black, and shiny (gold/silver) and the wedding will be a masquerade (on Halloween)! I ordered invitations today... I guess that means I'm really getting married?! Eeek! I'm SO tempted to have Chipotle do a burrito bar for our food... I mean, I love Chipotle.

New rings are always so pretty! I'm glad they fit, Fizzgig. It sounds like you have it pretty well under control.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 6:38 am 
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Pi. wrote:
I'm SO tempted to have Chipotle do a burrito bar for our food... I mean, I love Chipotle.


That would be the best wedding ever!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:13 am 
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I have to gush to someone... wedding planning is going SO well! Sorry, PPK, you get to hear my gush.

Cake! They are going to be amazing. Both vegan, made by an acquaintance. Beet chocolate cake with whiskey frosting and chocolate glaze. And pumpkin cake with salted caramel frosting. And for a great price, I actually told her I'd pay her more than she asked because she asked for such a low amount!

DJ - my first choice is available and interested! I didn't know if he would do weddings. We're going to have electroswing that will start more swing and get more electro as the night goes on and the old people leave. Our DJ's electroswing.

Food - Chipotle was vetoed by my fiancé. But I found a caterer that has an awesome vegan menu and prices aren't too much more. I'll do a tasting in September and if it is terrible, then I'll go back to Chipotle.

Who to have officiate was a huge discussion between my fiancé and me. It's the one thing that we took forever to agree on. But we decided on a friend and the friend said okay! He is a shy dude and had to think about it for a week (getting up in front of 50 people isn't a small deal), but I think he'll be perfect for it and he is good friends with both of us which was important to me.

And I'm going to order customized coasters (or order blank coasters and make them), which I am inordinately excited about even though nobody else that I've told is. Fiancé gave me a "whatever you want, dear" look when I told him. My guy and I are drinkers and we are always taking coasters from bars to bring home to use so anyone who's been to a party at our house is always handed random bar coasters to use.

Anyway, things are ending up to be cheaper and easier than I expected! I'm still worried about getting my guy's family down here, but that is something we'll have to deal with closer to time (they all have travel and big-city anxiety, but they only live 100 miles away so I feel like it should be possible to work something out).

I'm excited to be getting married. Finally.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:30 pm 
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Awesome, Pi!

Oh man--I feel so bad but my g-f vegan friend had the worst vegan g-f entree at her wedding. It was a really bland "curry" which was 50% raisins and 50% zucchini. Over undercooked basmati rice. She was so disappointed and I didn't know whether to pretend I liked it or real talk. I chose real talk.

At least the vegan gluten-free cupcakes were okay.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:39 pm 
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Pi, that sounds awesome!

Oh, man, vijita, she must have been so upset...and I'm sorry you couldn't enjoy it either. uck.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:05 pm 
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Pie is finalized! I hope this pie is as amazing as it sounds. We are doing 1 regular sized apple pie to cut and then a variety of apple, salted caramel apple, and pecan individual sized mini pies! I am so excited. And we are using this adorable vintage kissing couple on a wine cork that my grandmother gave me for a 'cake topper'. I will post a picture after the wedding next week and the topper will make more sense.

Tomorrow is hopefully the last dress fitting.

The annoying update of the day: we both have pinkeye. Yay... also means S had to cancel his bachelor party. Pretty sure my body's response to big life events is to shutdown the ol' immune system (like getting mono and being covered in hives for the LSATs).

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:07 am 
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Mini pies?!?! They sound amazing! And the pie topper sounds super cute.

Hope you both recover quickly and are clear for the wedding. At least it is something easily treatable... just eyedrops, right?


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