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 Post subject: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:06 pm 
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I didn't see anything else like this posted yet.. though I'm pretty sure I started (or at least posted in) a similar thread a few years ago.

I always find this time of year kinda difficult - some years it's crappy things (like breakups) , some years it's just general ennui, some years it's other stuff. This year it's a lot of work stress plus some family stress too. I just arranged to be home with my family for five days over Christmas proper because that seemed preferable to getting a guilt trip or in an another argument if I don't spend the time with them. But I'm already regretting/dreading that trip.

Anyway. If any other PPKers are feeling holiday stress, come on in and make yourself at home.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:13 pm 
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I have worked really hard to make the holidays really nice for my husband and kids. And just us. We live too far away for anyone to come visit. But without fail (and it started the 10th of November this year) we get a deluge of requests to come see the in-laws. Always with the tag line "anything for family" . Anything but coming to visit us.

This year it has been compounded by my illness and a significant upswing in the requests from them. I think we are up to three.

I just want to bake holiday cookies and make hand made gifts and have a lovely time.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:56 pm 
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This isn't about me (I actually really love Christmas, now that I spend it however I want to) but about my boyfriend, who absolutely hates the holidays. His birthday is the day after Christmas and he grew up in a kind of Christian cult and his family was really spread out. So the holidays bring out a lot of negative feelings about his life.
Unfortunately, his job is pretty holiday-centric, so people are yelling at him about him bringing something that isn't "holiday enough" or that they're angry they can't just do this or that or where are the holiday-themed things?! He's had two panic attacks in the last three days and has been exhausted since late November.
I'm trying to let him deal with stress however he needs to and just being there for him, but it's hard to see him suffer.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:20 am 
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I want so badly to make this Christmas special for poopieboy (who is 5), because I know these magical years are limited, and because we're going through a rough time right now. But I'm so tired, I spend all of my free time at the ICU with my husband, and then I spend my evenings after poopieboy goes to bed trying to keep up with simple stuff like bills and dishes and laundry. I haven't even gone into the garage to find the Christmas stuff yet, I haven't baked anything, I haven't shopped for stocking stuffers. The only thing I've done is get him to write his letter to Santa, and spent a lot of time being grateful to the generous nurses who have asked if they can buy his presents this year.

I just feel like he really deserves a great Christmas right now, and I'm failing him so hard.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:29 am 
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<3 <3 <3

I wish I could give all of you a hug.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:06 am 
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Poopie, did you accept their offer? I think now is a good time to accept as much help as you can.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 7:49 am 
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I will need help with holiday stress in a bit. I don't know what is going on with my family at home but always little tensions here or there. I'll be there in 11 days.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:50 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
I want so badly to make this Christmas special for poopieboy (who is 5), because I know these magical years are limited, and because we're going through a rough time right now. But I'm so tired, I spend all of my free time at the ICU with my husband, and then I spend my evenings after poopieboy goes to bed trying to keep up with simple stuff like bills and dishes and laundry. I haven't even gone into the garage to find the Christmas stuff yet, I haven't baked anything, I haven't shopped for stocking stuffers. The only thing I've done is get him to write his letter to Santa, and spent a lot of time being grateful to the generous nurses who have asked if they can buy his presents this year.

I just feel like he really deserves a great Christmas right now, and I'm failing him so hard.


Kids are so resiliant. I know you'll find a way to make Christmas special for him.

My mom and I would like to send him a gift. Can you give us an idea what he would like?

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:17 am 
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Poopie baby is one of the best kids. He adores pink. (My husband gave him some pink twine and he was so excited about it and sad when he thought we gave it to him only to hold and not keep, not that I suggest twine...)

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:23 am 
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Molly could donate some of her pink paper rope to the cause. Probably not though; she doesn't share well.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 10:19 am 
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Oh, poopie, I wish I could come decorate your house for Christmas.

Also, you are NOT failing poopie boy. You are doing your best in a bad situation, he knows he is loved, and he will be OK no matter how Christmas goes down.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 10:45 am 
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Poopie, I'm new in these parts but I really feel for you. I've been in that chair by an ICU bed day after day. I had friends desperately wanting to help, but there's not really a lot they can do.

Could decorating your house be something your friends could do?

If baking is fun/relaxing for you maybe your friends could help? Do you know the meal delivery boxes like The Blue Apron or The Purple Carrot? They give you a recipe and exact measured ingredients then you do the cooking. Do you have some favorite holiday baking recipes from a cookbook? One of your friends could measure everything out (do a mise en place) then all you have to do is dump,mix, bake. Actually, for many things the PPK could send you a baking package. Bonus if your friends come the next day to do the dishes.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 10:45 am 
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I love the holidays but they are always a stressy time and this year I really just barely have my head above the water. 2015 has seen me take hit after hit after hit and they are rolling up into one big snowball of festive shiitake just in time for the season!

The last piece of the puzzle, the thing that is just devastating the holiday, is that we are surprise moving midmonth. We moved Jan 1st last year, with intent to stay in our current place several years. The owners of the house decided to sell it with no warning, and in CA, since we've been here less than a year, they are allowed to boot us when our lease is up. So there goes all our time and money to travel or have family visit, plus moving stress. My kids don't understand why the fork we aren't going to visit grandma and grandpa. I don't know what the fork to tell them.

My mom yesterday was complaining on FB that none of us are coming to visit her for the holiday. Mom! i super understand that you are upset! Do you know why i understand! Because I am so upset too! Aghhhhhhh

I'm still dealing with a chronic pain issue (oh 2015!), one of the key treatment suggestions for which is "reduce stress". I really could have used a break from life. Ha ha ha oh well.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 11:02 am 
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Oh C&S that's so rough! It's incredible that your landlord can kick you out like this, did you get any notice at all?
Could the grandparents come and help instead of you visiting them? Or just take the boys until you are settled?


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:47 pm 
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This year I am just not in the mood. This year has been incredibly hard for me, so much upheaval and stress, and I'm just. so. tired. I'm finding it hard to care about much except for how excited I am to see Trevor open his presents because I love him so dang much. The stress of everything is compounded by the fact that this time of year my motherperson tries very hard to make things happen, and I'm just so over it with her/my family that I just can't bother.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 7:54 pm 
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amonik wrote:
Poopie, did you accept their offer? I think now is a good time to accept as much help as you can.

I did, for that very reason. In the past it's been really difficult for me to ask for or accept help, but this whole experience has been a huge lesson for me in that regard. They are all so wonderful, and when they showed me a bunch of the stuff they bought today, I honestly think they were as excited about it as I am.

lavawitch wrote:
Kids are so resiliant. I know you'll find a way to make Christmas special for him.

My mom and I would like to send him a gift. Can you give us an idea what he would like?

Thank you so much lw <3 He is getting everything he asked for plus some, so he really doesn't need anything. If you really want to send something, I know he would love a Christmas card, as he's at that age where getting mail addressed to him is the Best Thing Ever :)


linanil - He loves that twine! He still has it, it's one of his "treasures."

monkeytoes wrote:
Oh, poopie, I wish I could come decorate your house for Christmas.

Also, you are NOT failing poopie boy. You are doing your best in a bad situation, he knows he is loved, and he will be OK no matter how Christmas goes down.

<3 Thank you <3


Evie - thank you for the suggestions. I will see if my friends can come help with a little holiday sprucing, especially if I repay them in cookies :)

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:16 pm 
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aelle wrote:
Oh C&S that's so rough! It's incredible that your landlord can kick you out like this, did you get any notice at all?
Could the grandparents come and help instead of you visiting them? Or just take the boys until you are settled?


We got 5 weeks notice. The property management guy was at least pretty embarrassed to have to tell us, and apologizes profusely whenever I talk to him. He's been decent, but he's the manager, and doesn't own the place...

My parents aren't really up for travel any more. And they're in Oregon, so we'd still have to go back and forth, which means either time we don't have or money we don't have. (Partly because we needed to do financial shuffling to come up with a deposit at short notice, and stuff like that.)

We're moving house (big stuff, beds and so on) on the 19th. We'll have Christmas at the new house, which will be nice. It's a move we wanted to make, and into a cool house in a great location-- we just wanted to be able to plan a little more before having to make it. :/

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:33 pm 
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I'm so sorry to read about what you've been going through poopie! It sounds like you are doing such a great job of taking of your family so please don't forget to take care of yourself too.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:56 am 
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24 hours to go!

Hope the rest of you are holding up ok...

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:01 pm 
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I want give everyone in this thread a giant hug...and in return receive a giant group hug from people that aren't crassholes.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:04 pm 
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Oh I'm also fairly certain that all I'm eating today is clif bars and coffee. I also can't get anyone to hold my baby so I can shower. And my MIL wonders why I don't visit more often! !!

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:13 pm 
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I'm spending today at home with just me and the cats (which is much easier and less stressful than going to see any family). I've not been back to family for something like 9 years now. Normally I have a really nice and relaxed day at home making and eating lots of good food but this year I'm just feeling kind of sad and unmotivated. Plus I've had two missed calls from family members and I just don't want to speak to anyone right now.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:36 pm 
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Imogen wrote:
I'm spending today at home with just me and the cats (which is much easier and less stressful than going to see any family). I've not been back to family for something like 9 years now. Normally I have a really nice and relaxed day at home making and eating lots of good food but this year I'm just feeling kind of sad and unmotivated. Plus I've had two missed calls from family members and I just don't want to speak to anyone right now.

I forking hate the Christmas family shiitake! Good job as I don't have any relationships left with my family now. I went for a run on the beach this morning and then had a bath while drinking sherry and eating chocolate buttons! Lots of love Imogen xx


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 3:04 pm 
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Scratch the coffee off of the clif bars and coffee feast I'm having at my in laws. No coffee. Just clif bars. Everyone else is having a giant feast. Awesome. 4 more days here. I want to run away.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Stress Support Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 3:15 pm 
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Chickpea wrote:
I forking hate the Christmas family shiitake! Good job as I don't have any relationships left with my family now. I went for a run on the beach this morning and then had a bath while drinking sherry and eating chocolate buttons! Lots of love Imogen xx


Thanks! I'm now watching crime dramas (so fabulously unchristmassy) and making pizza so it's looking up a bit. I'll see you in January and we can have a proper catch up :)

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