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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:08 pm 
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Mr. Shankly wrote:
This guy has invited me out a couple of times to a bar and was telling me about how you buy a pitcher of beer and get a shiitake ton of wings and that's when I let it drop to him that I was vegan and his face just kind of melted into sadness/disappointment as I said it. I really don't understand the reaction- how does that change things? Then he said something about "not being able to do that" and being a "born carnivore" (which I changed in my head to "omnivore") and I was just like, "That's fine." He wasn't trying to be a crasshole or anything and he wasn't saying anything in a mean way- I just don't understand the look of a disappointment. He did add at the end of it though, "Well you can come have a veggie burger then." He was so cute about it but the look of disappointment! What is that???

Prior to this, his friend was telling me about the beer+wings thing, too and I told him I was vegan and I got that look of disappointment. I'm afraid of telling anyone else lest they start crying.

if he hadn't added the bit at the end about being totes hot for meat 4-eva, i might have thought that it was less disappointment than fear that he might have just blown a conversation with you by raving about something you don't like at all. i mean, that's what that look might be once in a while. maybe.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:08 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
Mr. Shankly wrote:
This guy has invited me out a couple of times to a bar and was telling me about how you buy a pitcher of beer and get a shiitake ton of wings and that's when I let it drop to him that I was vegan and his face just kind of melted into sadness/disappointment as I said it. I really don't understand the reaction- how does that change things? Then he said something about "not being able to do that" and being a "born carnivore"...
This is where I would have said "But that's fascinating! So, were you an obligate carnivore like a lion, or just a scavenger like a hyena? How and why did you change species? I want to know everything!"

Because I? Am a born bisque.

I think you mean born amazing.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 1:18 am 
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acr wrote:
if he hadn't added the bit at the end about being totes hot for meat 4-eva, i might have thought that it was less disappointment than fear that he might have just blown a conversation with you by raving about something you don't like at all. i mean, that's what that look might be once in a while. maybe.

Oh man, that thought never even crossed my mind but it makes SO much sense! He was raving about it and using it as a way to get me to come hang out with him and some friends and he's been super nice to me so far and he could have added the bit about loving meat at the end to gauge how I felt about omnivores. This makes so much more sense now. Aw, I hope he knows I'm not going to judge him for that.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:35 am 
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amandabear wrote:
Kelly wrote:
I would like to go to ONE party ever without having to bring our own food. If I knew of any special dietary need of anyone coming to my house for a party or anything, I would want them to be able to eat without bringing their entire families own meals. Sigh.

I was reminded of how much I hate this recently, when I took cupcakes to a party and didn't bother with an actual food dish. There was NOTHING for me to eat except my own cupcakes and potato chips. And this wasn't some random person's party, it was my best friend's, who is well aware of my veganism and used to be a vegetarian herself (don't even get me started). I don't expect people to bend over backward for me, but you couldn't at least leave the meat out of your pasta salad? If one of my good friends was allergic to peanuts or something, I wouldn't invite them to a party and then only make peanut noodles and peanut butter cookies.


Exactly! I'm talking about my nieces party, throw by my sister. We make up about 1/4of every party she has, yet every time I have to make and lug all out own food. If it were just me, I'd eat chips and complain later, but it sucks for my kids not to ever get to experience a regular party where they just eat something there.

I go out of my way for anyone who is over, or I cook for. I am even making forking Paleo cookies for Silas' soccer team (coach and her 3 kids are Paleo) and that goes against every thing I believe in.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:42 am 
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creep wrote:
Kelly wrote:
I would like to go to ONE party ever without having to bring our own food. If I knew of any special dietary need of anyone coming to my house for a party or anything, I would want them to be able to eat without bringing their entire families own meals. Sigh.


I feel the same way, but then I feel guilty for being frustrated, since I guess it's a "self-imposed" dietary need. But I even accommodate people's TASTES, not just dietary needs/preferences/allergies, and it's strange to me that other people don't want to do the same. Some family are amazing about making sure we have something to eat, but we're almost always just expected to fend for ourselves.


I feel guilty for complaining too. I really don't expect/need a thing from most people, but my family who we do all holidays/birthdays with? It would just be nice occasionally, you know?

My family are all super picky eaters and I bend over backwards to find stuff that they will all eat for our parties.

I'm honestly thrilled when they have a few things that are vegan. Anything other than chips really.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:36 am 
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When family (or friends for that matter) repeatedly don't respect your values, I feel that is a completely lack of respect for you (in the general sense). I don't expect anyone to bend over backwards for me, but I do expect a certain amount respect. It sounds to me like it's not really about the food.


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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:49 am 
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Time to start exclusively gifting vegan cookbooks for birthdays and holidays? Maybe they'll get the message! Although, maybe food isn't a big deal in their heads so they've no clue how alienating they are being? I would let them know, personally.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:57 am 
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the boyfriend's office passes out a healthy recipe each week. yesterday it was tofu wraps & had the word vegan in the title. he said that there was a big stink about it - he has never heard a recipe discussed so much and the word gross was thrown around because of the word tofu.....please!

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 10:24 am 
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Kelly wrote:
I'm honestly thrilled when they have a few things that are vegan. Anything other than chips really.

Sometimes not even chips! When I went to my niece and nephew's birthday party there were two huge bowls of chips, two different kinds, neither was vegan. It's like they go out of their way to eliminate even the sad, default vegan options. The tortilla chips are always the ones with milk, the pretzels are always the ones with butter.

It seems backwards, but I think it's somehow easier for close friends and family to dismiss you. "Oh, she just brings her own food". I think they'd make an effort for a vegan stranger.

Like you guys, I don't expect anything, but it would be nice sometimes.


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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 10:29 am 
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Yesterday, I had lunch with an old friend I don't see very often. She's a vegetarian, and took me to this really cute cafe near her house (http://www.eatheirloomfood.com). The atmosphere and the staff were lovely, and the food was great - big, beautiful salads, a delicious carrot bisque, and probably the best housemade burger I've ever eaten. Afterwards she said how glad she was that I'd liked it so much, since her husband will never go with her; when I asked why she said, "He doesn't like eating at places without meat on the menu. It's not even like he's necessarily going to order it, but he feels like he needs the option." Which A. had to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard, B. wasn't even true in this case, since I saw turkey and tuna sandwiches listed on the board, and C. made me grateful (once again) that my partner is vegan, because I honestly don't know think I could live with someone that childish and close-minded about food.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:26 am 
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It really perplexes me how some people can be so close-minded and/or hostile and others are so easygoing about it. Biker boy (omnivore) and I went out to dinner (at an omni restaurant) the other night with his friend P (omnivore) and P's niece (omnivore.) We had Indian food, ordered a couple appetizers and a few entrees and shared an entirely vegan meal. Because none of the omnis cared that they were skipping meat for one meal as long as there was a table full of delicious food and some good company (well, and a Manhattan or two, but if that's all it takes to get a couple of omnivorous men to chow down on vegan food, so be it!)

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:30 am 
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This should really go in Vegan Pet Awesomes, but it fits in the with conversation here: I was so pleased when some omni friends came out to visit me here with their two kids - a toddler and an 11 y.o. boy - and the 11 y.o. despite being a meat eater actually chose some tofu dishes when we went out just because he loves tofu. To that whole family, tofu is just another yummy food, not a lesser-than-meat substitute. I loved that!

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:45 am 
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Desdemona wrote:
C. made me grateful (once again) that my partner is vegan, because I honestly don't know think I could live with someone that childish and close-minded about food.

People like that frustrate the hell out of me. It's not really about being vegan or omni, it's about being kind of a crasshole. My boyfriend is an omni, but he's got no problem eating vegan. He occasionally eats meat and cheese at home and does whatever he wants when he's out on his own, obviously, but he eats 90% vegan at home because I do most of the cooking, and when he does cook he makes vegan meals himself. His perspective is that good food is good food, vegan or not. He likes tofu more than I do, he happily eats tempeh, Beyond Meat, soy sausage, etc. I can't imagine living and sharing food with someone who wouldn't even try vegan food because it's "icky" or needed meat to be an option on the menu at all times. Obviously people can eat however they want, but an attitude like that seems a bit disrespectful, especially when the vegan in question is your partner.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:06 pm 
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^ definitely. My bf is an omni and is very traditional and meat and potatoes in many ways. In fact I don't think he had ever tried hummus before he met me, but he's never made any snarky comments about vegan food and he happily eats pretty much everything I cook now, he has been very open about trying new things. The only thing he's not really crazy about is tofu, but he'll still eat it usually. He even now buys vegan frozen waffles and soy sausage for his weekend breakfasts since he likes them both better than the omni versions.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:07 pm 
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amandabear wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
C. made me grateful (once again) that my partner is vegan, because I honestly don't know think I could live with someone that childish and close-minded about food.

People like that frustrate the hell out of me. It's not really about being vegan or omni, it's about being kind of a crasshole. My boyfriend is an omni, but he's got no problem eating vegan. He occasionally eats meat and cheese at home and does whatever he wants when he's out on his own, obviously, but he eats 90% vegan at home because I do most of the cooking, and when he does cook he makes vegan meals himself. His perspective is that good food is good food, vegan or not. He likes tofu more than I do, he happily eats tempeh, Beyond Meat, soy sausage, etc. I can't imagine living and sharing food with someone who wouldn't even try vegan food because it's "icky" or needed meat to be an option on the menu at all times. Obviously people can eat however they want, but an attitude like that seems a bit disrespectful, especially when the vegan in question is your partner.
All of this. It's not that her husband is an omnivore (she's been vegetarian for 30+ years, and they've been happily married for 25 of those), but that he has such a narrow-minded attitude. I just have no patience for the whole "eeww, I don't want to eat anywhere if I can't have meat" thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 1:29 pm 
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You know how people accuse vegans of being whining, privileged First Worlders? Do you know how spoiled you are? Most of the world doesn't have a choice about what to eat! I hate you!

You know who's worse? The people who WILL NOT eat anything different or go without meat and cheese for one lousy meal. Talk about privileged!

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 1:32 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
You know how people accuse vegans of being whining, privileged First Worlders? Do you know how spoiled you are? Most of the world doesn't have a choice about what to eat! I hate you!

You know who's worse? The people who WILL NOT eat anything different or go without meat and cheese for one lousy meal. Talk about privileged!
But...MEAT. Me not understand food that not meat.

Image

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:15 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
I would like to go to ONE party ever without having to bring our own food. If I knew of any special dietary need of anyone coming to my house for a party or anything, I would want them to be able to eat without bringing their entire families own meals. Sigh.


The worst is when they won't let you bring your own food. I am going to my cousin's bridal shower. I offered to make cupcakes awhile ago, but now they have already ordered desserts so they don't want me to bring cupcakes. They've had my vegan goodies plenty of times before, so they know it's good. I know that it's my cousin's party and it's most important that she has she wants, but seriously. Who says no to free cupcakes? I am seriously considering bringing one of my award-winning cupcakes and eating it myself while they chow down on nasty store bought cake.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:35 pm 
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You should just bring a single cupcake and eat it out of a crystal goblet.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:47 pm 
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And cover the crystal goblet with the prize winning ribbons.

I am so impressed that you can lug over all your food Kelly. I feel like I am dragging a toddler, two changes of clothing (plus an extra set of shoes), diapers, a potty, water and snacks and I am basically a human camel already. I managed to bring a pack of veggie burgers and a vegan salad, but if I had had to bring any more, I would have just eaten our food at the base of their driveway rather than lug it into the house to eat it with other people.

And I used to cook really carefully for my MIL because she has IBS, and I would never have served her a seed loaf with seedy sauce over quinoa or millet. But she had no problem serving me brisket, buttery veggies and a mayo-based salad. But we don't go there any more so yay.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:59 pm 
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Yes! I am really tempted too, but i don't want to seem like a bisque so i will just silently not eat dessert. Then i will go home and eat cupcakes and remember how awesome i am.
The worst part is that maid of honor is gluten-free, and i offered to make vegan/gluten free cupcakes so both of us would have treats to eat.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:16 pm 
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Speaking of gluten-free, I've been peeved on several occasions lately because I keep seeing restaurants - even chain and fast food restaurants! - start offering gluten-free options, while there's still nary a vegan item on the menu. Like I heard a rumor that Dunkin Donuts is going to start offering gluten-free donuts, which is great, but why will these places go out of their way to cater to gluten-free diets but the idea of a vegan donut is still unheard of? It's just... annoying.

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:27 pm 
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There was cheese in my burrito today at lunch. Half of the other one ended up on my brand new blouse.

So now I am sitting hear with a bean smeared blouse at work and I smell like taco bell. And it is making me hungry, because all I had to eat today was half of a tiny burrito.


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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:54 pm 
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honey in almond milk at a craft show - so stupid!

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 Post subject: Re: Vegan pet peeves
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:53 am 
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What? Why would there be honey in almond milk of all things? My peeve du jour is that honey is seen as some wholesome miracle nectar of the gods superfood when it's just... A bee-made sweetener. Sigh.


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