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 Post subject: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:28 am 
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Mispronounces Daiya
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I've never quit anything in my life. I've never dropped a class or left an internship or broken off a relationship. And I have no idea how to tell if I'm in a situation where I should quit. There are things I love about my job -I have a great boss ; I love the technical difficulties, the mental challenge ; I love the freedom and responsibilities I am granted- and things I hate -I knew the personal interactions and social aspect of sales would be outside my comfort zone but I didn't expect to lose sleep over it ; working in a business development phase means pushing through day after day with zero tangible result, no validation and that's forking hard, and it's feeding my imposter sydrome like pouring gas on the fire.

Tell me your stories of quitting your job. Specifically, tell me how you knew you didn't need to suck it up, or improve yourself, or just work harder. Have you ever quit a job and then regretted it because you thought you could have done better and made it work?


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:45 am 
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I quit an internship last year, but it was unpaid. BUT it was gonna get me to South Africa, so it did take some pondering. I have never quit a full-time job though since I've never had one.

I had to quit last year because the work was making me miserable and sick. I had colds several times during that period. I was also losing sleep over it, I dreaded going there and was constantly looking at the clock to see if I could finally leave.
If you are that uncomfortable, you should at least start looking for alternatives. As I assume that your visa is tied to your work, I'd probably not quit right away but definitely check listings and start applying.

In the meantime, take good care of yourself! Sauna, exercise, relaxation, chocolate...

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:50 am 
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I've only quit quit one job. I was working at a cheap seats movie theater. It was my second job and I took it to fill in some hours and because the guy managing it was my former manager at another theater and he was awesome. But he later took a job at the hospital and instead of promoting someone at the theater I worked at, corporate pulled a guy out of the concession stand at a bigger theater and put him in charge of my theater. I was warned about him before I ever worked with him about how he was kind of a prick.

Sure enough, the first shift I worked with him he was an utter dickhole. I may have been a teenager working at a movie theater but he wasn't much older than me and I certainly had more time working the theater. Well I didn't need the second job that bad, and I wasn't about to work under some dickhead so as soon as all the movies at that hour had started, I grabbed my jacket and left. I went in to pick up my final paycheck and he asked me what happened and I told him he was a dick and I wasn't going to work for him.

As it turns out, managing a movie theater was his second job too! I found out his primary job was sandwich maker at Jimmy John's. I didn't regret quitting because the guy was a douche but I wish things would've turned out better. I loved working at that theater.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:19 am 
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I've left a number of jobs before, for varying reasons. it's never been on bad terms, and it's usually been hard to break away. I have a bit of luxury in what I do (software development) that I can afford to be pretty fussy about what work I do, and I like to be stimulated and satisfied. I sometimes look back and think that perhaps I should have stuck it out, but *generally* I was overall more satisfied in the new position, working with better people, doing more interesting/satisfying/rewarding things. it's very limiting if you resign yourself to 'oh, I guess I should just work harder at this'

I guess you have to ask yourself: do you think you'd be able to find a role (elsewhere, or even at the same place?) providing more satisfaction? if so, then it's probably fair to yourself to find somewhere where you're happier, and that gives back to you. there's no point wasting your days if you're putting in wayyy more than you're getting out. you'll probably either burn out or lose interest. and every day you spend there is another day of your life gone. make the most!

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:32 am 
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I've never had a 'proper' job because I'm still a student but I have quit a few cafe jobs, one mainly because of a circumstance change and the other because it was soul-crushing. The first scenario happened because I was babysitting and working reasonably long hours at the cafe, so that meant my Saturday was a full-on 8-4 of cafe service then straight to babysitting until about 1 in the morning (and more work during the week), I also got approved for government assistance at the same time. With the student government assistance you can only earn a certain amount before they cut down what you're entitled too. So basically, I was exhausted and not going to gain much from it, so it had to go, even though I liked the people. The second job was just really horrible and saw me crying nearly every night when I got home, they just treated us horribly. I put up with it for about 2-3 months, then cracked. Never went back there again, I still go into the first cafe to say hello and get coffee from time to time.

If you are coming home at night consistently feeling bad then I think it's best to bite the bullet.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:05 am 
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I've quit a few jobs, mainly for circumstance changes the my bosses understood pretty well (e.g., moving to another city). In one of my earlier jobs, in a screen printing shop, my boss was trying to get me to stay, but even with the raise he offered me it wouldn't have been worth it after commuting time/costs. Also, it was manufacturing grunt work and I was working with chemicals that chapped my hands for the next several years. I was on the fence for a while, but finally gave my notice when I realized that my life would be better with a different job even if I was making less money. I ended up getting a job at a library that paid miserably, but was low stress and in line with my intellectual interests. One of the better decisions I've made.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:48 am 
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I only quit one job, it was because I had found another job that paid better. I nearly cried in the kitchen because I didn't want to leave the nice people I was working with, so yeah, not the best advice.

How long have you been working in this unsatisfactory job? I'd say if it's a difficult market phase that has a realistic deadline (i.e. you'll launch your products/services in the next 3-6 months) then I'd stick with it so you can reap the results of all your hard work. If you foresee the business development phase go on for another year... I think you should seriously consider changing.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:20 am 
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I've quit a few for different reasons. Two of them were for going back to school, two for more money (but I initiated a search because I was miserable at those jobs), Two because I had to move. I've never regretted quitting a job. Sometimes there are things I miss about those places like friendships, or experiences, but I always felt that it was the better decision to move on. Even though it's scary, I am a firm believer that change is good for you.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:25 am 
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I haven't quit a job, but I've been looking for a new job for years now. I try to find a new job instead of quitting because I don't think I can afford to be unemployed.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:01 am 
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i've quit a lot of service industry jobs, but i almost feel like those don't count...the turnover is so high in that area, plus i was way younger and crazy irresponsible back then.

i did quit a job that was really horrible once, though. i stopped feeling the need to suck it up, and had to be true to myself and my happiness. i worked at a small law firm as a receptionist. they made fun of me every day (for being a woman, for being vegan, for having tattoos, and basically just for being lower class in their eyes). i was sent on personal errands and never was given the benefits i was promised when i interviewed. the last straw was when they blamed me for there being roaches in the kitchenette. there were roaches in there because they would leave food out all the time. i'd clean it up when i saw it, but i wasn't, like, working from the kitchenette. and cleaning the kitchen was not in my job description.

so i gave my notice on that day. and i've never regretted it for a single moment.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:22 am 
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I guess I've quit all my jobs until now. I did feel bad for quitting a job for this doctor I worked for because I told her in the morning and she cried all day, while she was seeing patients and all that. I would have waited till the end of the day before telling her next time, I had no idea she would get so emotional. But I couldn't stay there, that job drove me crazy, just walking into that office was an instant headache, but had nothing to do with her, she was always very good to me, the job itself was the problem.

I always give full notice (two weeks, or whatever arrangements they need to make to fill my position so I don't leave them stranded) but it's never been a situation where I looked back upon quitting with any regret. It was always the right choice, and I always had another job in the wings. I just don't have the level of personal security that would permit me to quit anything without a solid back up in place. Good luck!

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:25 am 
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I've quit so many jobs, but none of them were are serious as the one I have now, which is full time with benefits.

I've been thinking more and more about quitting because the pressure is becoming more difficult to handle. I also find myself laying awake at night and thinking about things, unable to go back to sleep. Or waking up in the morning dreading the day ahead. But like you, I love my boss, and the job in general gives me a sense of accomplishment. When I spoke to my family and friends, they told me to hang tight until it was time to leave for school. To plow through the shitty, stressful times a little bit and see if I could handle it. So I did, and I'm learning how to manage work stress better because of it. So I knew to "suck it up" because the people around me could tell it would be good for me.

I think the right time to leave is when you are sick and tired of working there (seems like you are), but you feel you've gotten something out of it.

Begin your exit plan so you feel secure in leaving. Even if you don't think you'll leave for a year! Start saving money so that you can survive for 3-4 months without a job. That way you can leave even if you don't have something lined up. Also, it may make you feel better and less stressed at work.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:39 am 
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I quit my jobs and moved last summer. I am still unemployed and pretty unhappy but I don't think I would be any happier if I was still doing what I was doing.
I was also freelance, so I had no benefits or health insurance I was leaving.
I worked in the art world which is not a good fit for me. It isn't quite the situation you're talking about, but basically I couldn't be successful there and there was no amount of nodding and smiling I could do (which I don't do well anyway) which would have made me happy. I am not sure what I am going to do now.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:03 pm 
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I've quit all my jobs except for the one I got fired from, which was awesome because I really wanted to quit. But i've only quit jobs because they were making me extremely miserable and i was not treated well or because i was moving or something. the only job i regret quitting was my vet tech job, but my dad had just died and I just didnt' feel like being involved with anything i'd be been involved with when he was alive. I have no experience with quitting a job that was decent because I wanted to advance my career or anything like that. i feel like quitting a job is never as big of a deal as you think it might be. as long as you have a basic plan for being able to earn a living or have saved up enough money to look for your dream job, just quit. really, it's just a job.


i just listen to this song when i hate my job.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:16 pm 
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i've quit various jobs for various reasons. some were financially unviable, some were incompatible with my ethics (that's you i'm looking at, Quaker school!!), some were intolerable conditions that I suffered through until I had made new, better arrangements.

I encourage you to make a list of the pros and cons of staying and then of leaving, short and long term, and even better, discuss them with people you love who know you and your needs well. Sometimes getting it all written out can help you see the things that you may not want to see, and you may realize what is the most important thing you want to get out of the job-- then maybe you can consider how else you can get what you need.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:08 pm 
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If you like your job and the people can you ask your boss about shifting your position into one not focused on sales if you can?

I've quit every job I've ever had.

Taxi company because I turned into a sleep depraved alcoholic who didn't know whether she was coming or going (they had me on mornings, afternoons, evenings and night shifts every week. So by Friday I was getting home by the time I had to be back at work on Monday.
Chapters, I started getting sick all the time due to stress from management and people SO MANY people coming in raging at me about book prices.
Save on Foods I didn't mean to quit when I did but I found a job that seemed amazing. It totally wasn't... I posted here (or at the old boards a lot about it) but on paper, aromatherapy shop, it seemed great. (Save on was the only job I didn't give two weeks notice for).
I quit the aromatherapy shop about a week before they closed down because I'd found another job that wouldn't wait. The ink shop I did give two weeks notice but I was told not to come back after I left a three page long 'this is why you suck and have to keep on training new people' letter in the communication book that the owner used to leave passive aggressive messages in. >.>
After that I didn't work for a year (messed up from so many bad jobs).
When I did it was at fast food, I went crazy and decided that having scars all over my body from hot oil burns wasn't worth 8.50/hr. (Also the boss was insane and the clientele was horrid) Also the boss frequently changed my schedule without telling me, and sometimes wrote the wrong thing on the schedule and got angry at me for not being where I didn't know I should be.

What I don't get is that I'm really dedicated to doing a good job when I work, but end up totally neurotic because my bosses are getting angry at me for things they don't get angry at other people for, or I just feel like I can't please them. I get depressed and end up hating everything about my job and life and I could tick an X off on every job I've ended when I realised I was almost suicidal but really that's most of them.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:19 pm 
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I've quit jobs due to reasons as varied as moving, incompatibility with school schedules at the time (despite being promised that they'd work with me), personal safety issues, and because I was sick of working with a bunch of racist dickholes for next to nothing. In most cases, I gave adequate notice and had something better (if only marginally) lined up. My view is that if you are on the fence at all, it can't hurt to explore alternatives. That way, you'll know what's out there in case you decide that your current job situation is unsustainable.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:31 pm 
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i quit my job at the school (i'd been there for 3 years), because they forked me over, stole my ideas, lied, cheated and didn't appreciate my awesomeness. i loved that job, but they didn't treat me with the respect i deserved.


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:18 pm 
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I've quit quite a few jobs. Most of the time it was a relief because I didn't particularly like them, but a few times it's been really hard. I cried when quitting my first internship because I loved the job and my boss, but school was just too much at the time. Sometimes I wish I could have made it work. I quit the gap by not showing up for my shifts because they were jerks!

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:06 pm 
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Thank you all. Your experiences and reasons for quitting your jobs is helpful.
I realize I haven't talked that much about my work here. I am in charge of developping the local branch office, and I'm doing it alone -so no one to take over the parts of the job I don't like. Eventually we'll hire local staff, but I need to bring in some business before we can afford that. We have partnerships with local companies, but I'm the only one with an allegiance to my boss, so to speak. My boss and I talk over Skype and exchange emails regularly, but he doesn't witness the daily grind and I'm not that good at bringing up what bothers me. So maybe stuff runs in loops in my head and looks much more bothersome than it truly is. Maybe. Talking about it helps, anyway.

allularpunk wrote:
they made fun of me every day (for being a woman, for being vegan, for having tattoos, and basically just for being lower class in their eyes).

I have a little bit of that... not as bad as you describe, but I sometimes get made fun of and not taken seriously because I'm a woman. Not by my boss or coworkers, by the clients! In a year of intense networking and swapping hundreds of business cards I've met all of 4 women - all of them secretaries, 2 of them quit to get married. Part of me wants to make a difference, but part of me is tired.

Anek wrote:
How long have you been working in this unsatisfactory job? I'd say if it's a difficult market phase that has a realistic deadline (i.e. you'll launch your products/services in the next 3-6 months) then I'd stick with it so you can reap the results of all your hard work. If you foresee the business development phase go on for another year... I think you should seriously consider changing.

I spent 8 months in France (unplanned, due to immigration problems) and now 10 months in Korea. My business is a supplier for the heavy industry and big engineering companies (I'm working to make your electricity, your drugs, your plastics and your water greener, people!), which are very conservative if only because of their massive size. So there could realistically be another year of swimming against the tide before sales start coming towards me instead of me having to fight for them. And of course how fast it will take depends on how much effort I put into it.
The infuriating thing is that I spent a few business trips in Japan where the market is more mature, and working there was delightful - so I know I'd enjoy my job a lot more once the development phase is over.

torque wrote:
I encourage you to make a list of the pros and cons of staying and then of leaving, short and long term, and even better, discuss them with people you love who know you and your needs well. Sometimes getting it all written out can help you see the things that you may not want to see, and you may realize what is the most important thing you want to get out of the job-- then maybe you can consider how else you can get what you need.


Thank you. Yes, I spent a good part of the afternoon talking it over with Wally and it really helped get clarity.
The two things we've identified is first the imposter complex that's been following me in everything outside academia (I would have been so happy as a PhD candidate, but I chose to go in the business world to step outside my comfort zone and challenge myself! Well, there it is!) If I don't address it now, it's probably going to follow me to my next job anyway, so I'd better actively deal with it now.
The second thing is that (I hope this doesn't come across as pretentious, but it's the truth and it's relevant) I was an exceptional student - from age 3 to the end of both my master's degrees I didn't have to work that hard to go above and beyond expectations and be the special little snowflake of a few teachers/professors every year, despite myself. I feel that part of the reason I feel so insecure about my performances is that I expect "above and beyond" to be the norm. And part of the stress may just be growing pains, realizing that I too have to work to get shiitake done.

So I think for the time being I want to keep going until I overcome these 2 things. But I'm back to not knowing how to trust my judgement if things do get more stressful. I don't know what my breaking point is or if I'll recognize it.
I'm kind of wishing for external circumstances to force me to make a decision. Urgh! If only I didn't have to be a grownup and take responsibility for my life!


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:08 pm 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:

i just listen to this song when i hate my job.


Ha, when I got fired from my job assisting a disabled lady at her work (before I could find a new job and quit), I spent my last day listening to that whole cd and dancing around my cubicle.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:43 pm 
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I quit tons of stuff! I've dropped out of college, dropped classes, quit multiple jobs ... if you're doing it for the right reasons it feels great. I've never really had a GOOD job, just lame asparagus service jobs and whatever, so I never really regret leaving them. Usually I leave jobs to move to jobs I think are going to be better, or I move away. One time, I left a job by just never showing up again. Another time, they tried to fire me on the day that I went in to quit, and then it took months to get my last paycheck. I sort of regret dropping out of college, but I went back and I'm graduating soon, so whatevs.

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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:58 am 
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Funny thing about external circumstances deciding things for you is that they can sometimes change too late. Not the best example but eh, is a temp job I had at a modular housing company. I was working on the floor putting lumber together for assembly and after a few weeks of watching the way other employees and the company acted when it came to safety measures and overworking I couldn't get rid of a sinking feeling inside. One day on the way to work I just couldn't make my feet go any further so I just turned around and headed back home. First time doing something like that and of course I was stressed about it. Long story's ending is that within days of leaving that job a young guy was killed because of inadequate safety measures.

So, talking about it is good but please don't forget to listen to your gut because sometimes it notices way more than one would think possible.

Sorry about that. Workplace safety is sort of my thing. /lecture

I feel like there should be a picture of something cute and fuzzy after that.
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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:06 am 
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I quit a job once that made me cry after only a few hours. It was misrepresented and disgusting, and I realized that my mental well being was more important than the extra cash (it was a second/third job). Plus I'm pretty sure I would have contracted a disease from the conditions I would have had to work in.

Unless you have no other options than this job, your mental well being and long-term happiness shouldn't be ignored.

Good luck with everything!


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 Post subject: Re: Experiences with quitting your job
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:13 pm 
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Location: around Beaumont, Texas
I quit my first job because I worked at a convenience store, and the customer service was horrid, my coworkers were horrid, and my boss was a bisque. Also I almost got robbed once. And the amount of work I had to do for $6.75/hr wasn't worth it. We were ridiculously short-staffed, and the girl who was supposed to relieve me after my eight-hour shift with no break or lunch was always, ALWAYS late. I did feel nice enough to give them my two weeks notice, and even stay on an extra week. I did get a bit snarky at the end though because my boss wanted me to stay ANOTHER week, and I had exams. I didn't stay another week.

My last job was at Walmart. There are so many things wrong with working for Walmart. They really let you know how disposable you are, make sure you feel the size of a flea every day, they are also short-staffed and they go against their own policies. For example, I worked in the deli (pre-vegan) at the time, and there are not supposed to be any less than three people in the deli at a time. Usually there were two, and then one of you had to go to lunch for an hour, which left one person there to cook the food, slice up some rape (cheese) and death (meat), wait on customers, pull out the rotisserie, and do everything else, which really wears a body down. I hated my job. I was a cashier at Walmart first, but I never got any hours (no cashier does, which is why there are never enough lines open), and I pulled a rotator cuff by pulling big cases of cokes across the scanner. Think they gave me time off for that to heal? Hell no. Eventually, after a particular incident with a coworker walking out of the freezer with a large leaning tower of heavy boxes above my head (I was holding them up by myself to keep them from falling on me), I drew up a two-week notice. On the day I planned to turn it in, I got sick of the shiitake and walked out two hours into my shift.

Fork you Walmart! I hope you die!

_________________
My brother had a beehive in Ithaca, and a bear destroyed it.
He has a new beehive now, but this one has hurtful anti-bear epithets scrawled all over it.
And that's why I don't eat honey.

- just mumbles

Twitter: TheSpinachGirl
Blog:Spinach Girl


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