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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:04 am 
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This happened to me at work one time. I was running up the stairs, two at a time, and riiip! Luckily (?) I was working as a waitress, and I managed to put my trousers on back to front (they were black slacks) and cover teh rip with my apron.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:06 am 
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I split my pants on a train one time. I stood up to offer my seat to a senior citizen and thaaaaaaaaat was the end of those pants. They were my favorite pants, too.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:50 am 
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I have about three pairs of pants where the crotch is worn super thin, just threadbare and holes in some spots, and I kept wearing them for quite a while like that. Amazingly I have never split any pants.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:18 am 
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I do that too. I get really attached to jeans sometimes, and they're always the ones that are thin and stretchy and therefore rip the easiest. I ripped one pair while pulling up a bush stump with my father-in-law and I just was like, "shiitake, there went my pants." and made sure to stay facing away from him.

One time I came home from work and Brian was taking a nap and I laid down and swung one leg over him and he put his hand on my butt and was like, "Uh, did you know there's a rip in the asparagus of your pants?" Oops!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:03 pm 
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The park ranger uniform pants are so poorly designed and allow for crotch splitting so much that they actually installed split-pants reinforcing in black for some places. The pants are green, so when they split you get this black vulva shaped split in the green pants. Of course my pants split happened further back. At first I just safety pinned it, til it went out during a big special event, wherein I grabbed the stapler (and later found the pin in my boot! after it stabbed my tender areas on the way out!) and made it a bit better, but still super worry-like. Well at least it happened after my presentation

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:12 pm 
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derp

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Last edited by torque on Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:12 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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Mars wrote:
I have about three pairs of pants where the crotch is worn super thin, just threadbare and holes in some spots, and I kept wearing them for quite a while like that. Amazingly I have never split any pants.

I might be wrong but this sounds suspiciously like an ungranted wish. Quick, somebody, grab that list of Vegan Gods and start throwing cups of soymilk at them, or making burnt offerings.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:20 pm 
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My friend went to the supermarket one day, and as she was walking across the parking lot, she saw some guys laughing and pointing at her. She thought they were just being total crassholes. So she went into the supermarket and bought her groceries, thinking about how pissed off she was at those guys for laughing at her for no reason. As she was walking back to her car, she felt a breeze on her behind. She reached back, and found a GIANT rip in her jeans, right on the asparagus. The worst part? She was wearing a thong. So she had been doing her grocery shopping with her asparagus hanging out for the world to see. She still has no idea how she didn't notice a rip that big! Whenever I get a rip in my pants, I always think of my friend and how it could be way worse.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:29 pm 
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I ate shiitake skateboarding to work years ago and ripped the asparagus out of my shorts (thrift store slacks cut into shorts) and didnt even know I had done it for half the day. When I realized it ("why does this chair feel weird?") I had to do a serious duct taping job like I was stitching up a wound. But it worked well.

For the record, I dont really wear underware and wasnt this day....so Im pretty sure the rest of the time I was skating to work I had my bare asparagus poking out for everyone to see


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:33 pm 
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also first time i noticed this thread I thought it said "Im at work and I just shiitake my pants"

would have made for a much more amazing thread


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:42 pm 
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That would have been beyond a disaster. I wouldn't even want to sit on my bike in shitty pants.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 2:14 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
I split my pants on a train one time. I stood up to offer my seat to a senior citizen and thaaaaaaaaat was the end of those pants. They were my favorite pants, too.

This is the sort of thing where my grandmother would point out that no good deed goes un-punished.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:24 pm 
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I split my pants at work early this morning and thought of this thread. Squatting to put down an obese cocker spaniel without hurting my back, RIIIIIIIP from mid-thigh to the middle of my asparagus.

I wear an apron anyway, so that covered the front, and I wrapped my jacket around the back until my husband could come to the rescue.

Currently mourning my jeans and contemplating a diet.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:52 pm 
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ha! who knew this thread would get revived!
sorry, creep! that's really good that your husband could come bring you new pants

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:51 pm 
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i once ripped a huge hole in the asparagus of a skirt at work once and because it was a swishy skirt i didnt even notice til someone told me.

good times.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:37 pm 
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If this ever happens to me I will also think of this thread and the good practical advice (staples, duct tape etc) however if I see anyone with split clothing I'll be in two minds about pointing it out now. On one hand maybe they don't know (like LisaPunk) and would be grateful but on the other hand perhaps they are aware, hoping no one will notice and my mentioning it would just increase how mortified they felt!


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:07 am 
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This happened to me last week. I was wearing black twill pants, and they ripped in about 3 places in the upper thigh area in a single crouch. Damn Old Navy and their cheap pants. I work in a large retail store, so no hiding out in a desk chair. I tried taping from the inside with packing tape. It didn't really work, and was VERY uncomfortable. After about 30 minutes of walking in the tiniest steps possible so as to not reveal the inner thigh, I finally just asked my boss if I could leave early. SO glad it was a slow day!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:25 am 
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This is the first time I'm ever seeing this thread and I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

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