that sounds so hard. do you have a good relationship with your partner's family, or have close friends who you consider family? i also have a less than awesome family and i wasn't really able to accept that they are who they are and i can deal with life without their support until i felt like i had other people in my life who have become my chosen family.
I am very lucky and have married into a family who is amazing and cares so much. My in-laws are like parents to me and make it known that they really love me.
Thank you so much for all the comments and advice, again. It's really touched me to know that people care. <3<3<3<3