Post Punk Kitchen Forum

What is with this question on OKCupid...?



Is it just there as a way to weed out homophobes or what?

Yeah, and probably just meant for the straight people

ScooterDiva-- I think you are amazing and if I were in a relationship with you (especially if it was an exclusive relationship), I would certainly want to spend my free time with you. I think it's shitty for anyone-- friend or foe-- to bail on plans. It also seems a bit early on in the relationship to start being flaky. You seem so awesome, it just seems terrible to hear that someone is not treating you as such.

I think all the questions obviously meant for straight people are super funny when applied for queer people...

Like the only choice for how you feel about gay couples having kids is "acceptable"? And just the idea that you would be threatened by someone who had a roommate of your same gender? Oh there's one about how you would feel if a friend who was gay and into your gender hugged you?

I am way less interested in people who haven't had homosexual sex, duh.

GURL FOR REAL

Thanks CC. It ended up being a total misunderstanding. He thought I wanted to pick him up at 11 that night, not the next day. So things are still great. I really appreciate your post, tho!! What a nice thing to say.

As a straight OKC'er, I found those questions really useful for weeding out the homophobes. I don't want to date someone who's shitty and judgemental about other people, or arrogant enough to think every gay person will fancy them.

Yaaaayy SD, I'm glad it all got sorted out!

Veggie photographer has started telling friends and family about us, he told his ex yesterday, because he's going to have to speak to his kids soon (the eldest seems to suspect something has changed in his Dad's life). Things are going really, reeeeeally well, it's the easiest and loveliest relationship I've ever had. We're completely smitten with each other, there's so much warmth, respect and good old fashioned desire between us, it's bloody fantastic! I've never had anyone treat me so well, or with so much love before, I'm enjoying every minute of it!

Yaaayyy Fezza!

That's what I took it as. I'm listed as bi but somehow I've gotten messages from people who answered "absolutely not" (or whatever the biggest "no" answer was) on that one.

I've seen gay dudes list that as a no! It's so weird. Do they only want to date virgins? Are they trying to find ersatz straight boys? I just... can't wrap my brain around the logic there, if there is any. But I've seen it too many times for it to be 'my hand slipped and I clicked the wrong thing.'

It could be from a loooong time ago. I was looking over my old answers one time, and one of them was "would you meet someone from the internet" and I said "no." Really? Its an online dating site, why would I answer that? My only guess is that it was one that I answered so long ago that I was still with my long term ex and mostly only on there for the quizzes, like back in 2004 or 2005 or something. So, that could have been answered before they came out and were suffering from some serious internalized homophobia? Or maybe they figured "I'm gay, so I'll just imagine it reversed and they mean 'straight sex' in this case."

I am also bothered by girls that say "gay girls only" instead of "girls who like girls." I should press about why my current sorta-lady-friend has that chosen because until my most recent ex, pretty much everyone else has been bi/pan and I just don't get people who won't! If they are into you and you are into them, what's the problem?

This drives me CRAZY.

But also I'm extra sensitive to it because my last girlfriend cited my occasional sexual fluidity as a reason she wanted to break up with me, because she decided she was only attracted to lesbians.

I like it when people have answers come up as 'unacceptable' but make no sense at all... like, I have seen in the "Are you a top or a bottom?" they'll click "top", but my answer "bottom" is flagged as unacceptable. Uh...

Or the ones like 'Could you date a smoker?' and they've answered yes... but your answer of yes is unacceptable! I... I see...?

Half convinced I was sitting next to one of my 'quiver matches' on OKCupid last night at the laundromat. He was reading Eating Animals and I made a comment but since I'm a coward and awkward couldn't think of anything else to keep the conversation going/really engage on it. I might send him a message because even if he isn't, he's a vegetarian who's got a lot of similar beliefs and it would at least be cool to talk to him!

Go for it lillian!

Thanks! Gonna need a shot of courage. If I hadn't said it before, so happy to finally see something working well so far for you!

So I think I'm going to start a new OK Cupid account tonight. I have such a hard time knowing what to put in my profile. This is what I was thinking of putting in the "About me" section.



Too honest?

I'm just so tired of making online profiles in which I don't feel like I provide an accurate representation of myself. It's like writing ad copy for cigarettes. This will weed out the people who wouldn't be interested in dating me anyway (read:everybody).

Does anyone else have a really hard time knowing what to include in their profiles? I agonize over this stuff.

Seriously? With a profile like that, why bother opening an account?

I'm sure you can do better.

Lol, I thought it might be kind of funny and refreshingly honest.

Hahaha!

So definitely a no to that-it would be too much info, I think. Talk about what you like to do, what your hopes and dreams are, things like that.

Honestly, if what you said is true then please just don't date. Don't put yourself out there if you know you're going to be a crasshole.

It sounds like you should step back and focus on yourself for a while before getting involved with someone else.

I got yer ginger lovin right here