Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Grad school + small rural town ≠ successful vegan dating

So, um, has anyone had a really really great romantic connection with someone online and then met them IRL and had it be completely different? Just wondering...

I think that sort of thing happens a lot. That's why I try to keep online interactions as short as possible and just schedule a time to meet up in real life.

Dammit.

I've actually had that happen the other direction, too! Like, I knew the person in real life and had nooooooooo interest at all in dating them, and then later saw their profile on OKCupid and thought "wow, I would totally date that person" and then realized who they were and that I actually would not even a little bit want to date them.

It's been a little over a month since I started seeing the Irish bloke. We see each other like two times a week and it gets better every time we meet. I feel so insanely comfortable around him. I don't need to be on my best behaviour for him to like me - I'm just being me and he thinks I'm fantastic without me having to try hard at all.

Tomorrow it's his birthday and I'm cooking dinner for him and his housemates, after that we're going out for drinks.

Oh, online dating, we have been estranged since I was 19, but here I am, again! So, is something like the Plenty of Fish "intimate encounters" section of the website (not the prostitiution bit, just the legit hook-up factors!) ever a good idea? If that is what a person wants?....

Vegan seeking Vegan! It's probably most practical if you live fairly close to Portland, Oregon, U$A where I am but I love to travel so I'm also happy to hear from folks worldwide. :)

I've never done this, but would love to hear your experiences if you tried it

This thread seems to have died a bit.

But I went on a day last night. It was meh, that's the best I can say.

Also, this guy is chatting to me and he's friendly enough but I'm bored already. I have started answering his questions with stupid answers just to amuse myself. I'm not feeling it at all lately.

Haha, I think we had a cycle, and it will be coming back. What is it with spring breakups?

Like, people on this thread met people last year, got in lurves, and then they went belly up in April (because WHY IS IT ALWAYS APRIL!?!?).

So, now, as we nurse our broken hearts, we may find ourselves back in this thread.

I've not set up any dates yet, but I've started chatting with people.

Vegan seeking any type of veggie man out here in the Midwest. Bleh, slim pickings I tell you. 26/f/awesome, in grad school, tattoos. Is this really what I'm supposed to be posting? Ugh. Online dating.

I'm going to a meetup tomorrow that's organized by a dating website for vegetarians and vegans.

It includes dinner and speed dating! I don't know what to expect but I think I just need to get out there and face whatever it is.

That sounds kinda awesome VE! It sounds like they have only recently started doing (any sorta) lesbian speed dating around here, so I should try and get into that at some point!

That sounds fun! Hope you have a nice time.

I tried speed dating a couple of times, years ago. It was pretty fun. I wasn't interested in most of the men I talked to but you can have an OK conversation with pretty much anyone for 8 minutes. I did end up getting a couple of "second" dates out of it but nothing that went anywhere. I hope you have fun!

The speed dating was ok to do. Kind of 3 minute interviews and the biggest advantage is that there isn't much awkwardness if you break off the small talk to start to talk with some one else.

The good thing about the meetup was that there was some one who noted down email addresses of persons in my area with the intention to meetup as a local group for some activities.

Mini-vent:

Getting told that someone doesn't want to date you because they're not ready to be in a relationship, even though you weren't even pushing for anything serious is no big deal. Seeing that same person dating someone else soon afterwards at the cafe you took them to is a bit awkward. I've already been on dates since and I think I got the vibe that the previous person wasn't into me, but I'm wondering if I'm just too straight-forward with people I don't want to date anymore or that I'm not following appropriate dating etiquette.

When I don't want to date someone I try to go for tactful honestly. Like, "You're awesome, but I'm not feeling any chemistry." I don't like making up a, "it's not you, it's me," sort of story. Also, I'm a terrible liar so it probably wouldn't work. What do you all think?

For the record: I've been called honest to a fault (and proud of it) before. But I do exactly what you do and expect others to do the same rather than hide behind silly excuses.

Well, I sort of did that to someone. So, who knows the whole circumstances. In my case, she wanted commitment to being gfs before we had even kissed, and I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. Then I was hanging out around town a few weeks later on dates with my most recent ex, though I didn't really commit in that for like a month and a half or 2, and at least she would make out with me.

So, who knows the 100% reasons.

In other news, somehow I have a date tomorrow morning. I'm so not ready for this. But she's a massage therapist, so that's awesome! And we have high match %. And she already went through her mid-life crisis (she's even older than my most recent ex, 10 years older than me). But what the hell am I doing!

Good luck! Hope it goes well.

I'm thinking of doing this again. I don't really... Want to? But also I kind of know myself and I feel like I only get over someone if I'm into someone else. Wow typing that out seems pretty unhealthy! Hmm. But it's so silly for me to be concocting ideas of BP and I getting back together, it's a terrible idea, really! So if I can get out and have fun and fork again... I feel like I'll stop doing that.

Yeah, its a tough choice. I don't necessarily want to date and don't know if getting into someone else gets me over someone else or not. However, I am, apparetly, less cynical then I thought I am.

But fun and forking, it might be good. I just want a hook up friends with benefits myself...I think.

One third of new marriages started with online dating! So interesting!
http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/201 ... nline.html

I am helping a friend with his profile, and he is so super-awesome and vegan. I am stoked for him finding an awesome vegan GF!

One thing that is stopping me from setting up a profile again though is that I feel like I've already seen most of what Portland online dating has to offer. And also I don't love the idea of certain people who know me to see me on this again.