| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Fri Dec 19, 2014 7:40 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6105 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210 ... 245  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:18 pm 
Offline
Fair trade, organic mistletoe
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 3507
Location: Toronto
kilgore trout wrote:
Maybe I'm hopelessly rude, but I just ignore messages like that, that are obviously copy/pasted to a lot of people.

Me too.

Honestly, unless it is someone I want to get to know I don't respond. I wouldn't particularly want "hey, I'm sure you're great but I'm not feeling it" from someone I've never met. I figure silence is message enough.

_________________
"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:28 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6517
Location: Boston, MA
Sorry for not checking back through the thread, but does anyone use tinder?

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:34 pm 
Offline
Nailed to the V
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:19 pm
Posts: 533
Location: TN
there were a few times that i got oddly heartfelt messages from people and it's hard to explain it now, but it felt like it'd be rude to not write back and i remember them saying they really appreciated a response. this only happened a couple of times i think. i agree that there's a lot of mass messages sent out, and there's a lot of people who send out messages to someone who they think seems cool or pretty, but they don't think of whether or not they're messaging someone with whom they actually have anything in common. i'm sure there's a lot of silence coming in on the male end of online dating. i imagine they have different perspectives as well as methods by which to meet people.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:45 pm 
Offline
Fair trade, organic mistletoe
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 3507
Location: Toronto
I've had a couple of those really heartfelt messages but they weren't people I was interested in getting to know and they both gave me an instinctual feeling that messaging back with polite refusal would turn into an argument of sorts.

_________________
"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:56 pm 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:28 pm
Posts: 2536
Location: Connecticut
Once I made the mistake of responding to someone I wasn't interested in because he said something that really bothered me--his message was something to the tune of "You seem really cool but I don't quite understand why you like current rap music!" So I kind of told him off for it and he took it as flirtation. Yikes.

_________________
"I never do anything you say, Isa. When I cook from VWAV and it says to add one cup of flour, I add three cups of olive oil! Now who wants some forking muffins??"-ExpiredSanity
Tumblr
Cast Iron & Cupcakes
I guess I have a Twitter now


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:26 pm 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:15 pm
Posts: 2573
I don't think anyone should feel guilty about ignoring messages. In fact, I think that if you know you don't want to go on a date with someone, the best thing to do is ignore their message. If you respond people will assume you're interested, unless you just send them a rejection, which seems unnecessary--I would much rather not get any response and tell myself they just never use OkCupid than get a message saying they aren't into me.

_________________
"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:40 pm 
Offline
Keepin' It Seal
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:32 pm
Posts: 3874
Location: PORTLAND!
DarthCupcake wrote:
When I saw this, I thought of this thread...

[img]http://i.imgur.com/ZNgcQ.png[/img

There's a mistake in the space that says "You should message me if...you're not fake." In order to get a bingo quicker, it should read "your not fake."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:48 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6517
Location: Boston, MA
Joyfulgirl: hahahahahahaha!

A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:04 pm 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7739
Location: Portland, OR
ndpittman wrote:
A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).

It's not like this with queer guys. It's usually a selfie or two in the mirror followed by a selfie or two done by holding the camera away from you.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:23 pm 
Offline
Hoards Peppermint Jo-Jos
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:30 pm
Posts: 806
Location: Cascadia
Thank you for the thoughts about not responding. I was leaning toward saying something back to him but he just sent me another message that said "Or not" which is really annoying to me. It hasn't even been 24 hours since he sent the first message and he's hassling me about not responding. What the heck!?

I think that my town is a bit too small for okcupid dating anyways. Half the dudes are guys who I know in real life and would never date (exes of friends, my guy friends, dudes who I do not get along with, etc.) and the other guys are like this pushy guy, and the guy with the message about his phone being broken. Also I am afraid of meeting strangers. I should probably get over my fear and just do it but the last okcupid date I went on was just so bad that I don't know if I can get back on the horse.

_________________
I have put my mouth, this is the best sandwich. Since. I agree Araya monkeytoes too much, especially the lunch buffet. I have no idea of ​​the city center. I mean try headstrong, but I have not made there. --spam!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:29 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6517
Location: Boston, MA
Mars wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).

It's not like this with queer guys. It's usually a selfie or two in the mirror followed by a selfie or two done by holding the camera away from you.


Oh! And I forgot about the holding up the fish pic. Which is an automatic pass, obvs.

Mars, are you trying to say I should be on grindr instead? ;)

ETA: I forgot that I came here to post a first: someone wearing blackface! Are you forking kidding me? Seriously, what the fork. Not only did you do this, admit to it, but you think it'll get you dates? What is the world coming to?

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:26 pm 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 965
Location: Albany, NY
katiejayne wrote:
Thank you for the thoughts about not responding. I was leaning toward saying something back to him but he just sent me another message that said "Or not" which is really annoying to me. It hasn't even been 24 hours since he sent the first message and he's hassling me about not responding. What the heck!?

This is one of my biggest peeves about OKC. It doesn't happen to me often, but every once in a while I get a rude follow message (always less than 24 hours later) if I don't respond. This usually only happens when they see I have visited their profile without responding, so I rarely visit profiles anymore unless the person says something in the message that really really intrigues me (like mentions a mutual passion/hobby/etc.)

This actually just happened to me a couple weeks ago. I think I may have written about it here. A guy sent me a message, which I read while I was at work. I accidentally clicked on his profile from my phone, so he saw I visited his profile. Maybe an hour later he sent me a sarcastic and defensive message again. When I got home I messaged him to tell him that I accidentally clicked on his profile while I was at work and wouldn't have been able to respond to his message even if I had wanted to... but after the defensive and sarcastic follow-up message I definitely wasn't interested. He then sent me another message, which I ignored. Then he sent me ANOTHER one a few days later. Dude. Take a hint.

_________________
Departure & Arrival: Photoblog
Navigator, Equator: Personal blog
My freelance writing website
Dear Nora: My cat's advice column (really)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:36 am 
Offline
I Wanna Dip My Balls In It
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:37 pm
Posts: 3398
Location: idontevenknowanymore
it's pretty dickish, but I can totally see someone that's new (or desperate) being way too anal about it non-replies and getting all defensive. and given that it's largely a one way stream of comms, the frustration makes dickish people do dickish things. especially as it's relatively anonymous and there's such a low bar to jump to do it. there should be a forced 24h timeout on sending messages if the other person hasn't messaged you back or something, because I swear just taking a step back and gaining some perspective would do these people a ton of good.

fortunately, for every dickish person, there are non-dickish people not being dicks. I like those people.

_________________
reap/sow, risk/reward


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:57 am 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:03 am
Posts: 1335
Location: Nova Scotia
ndpittman wrote:
Joyfulgirl: hahahahahahaha!

A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).


Or with guys my age (over 45) it's guy with moteorcycle. I also hate the ones that were obviously taken at a wedding - dude, most people have a phone/camera, get someone to take a shot of you in your real clothes.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 10:29 am 
Offline
Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:44 pm
Posts: 434
Location: Jungles of America
camuscando wrote:
I used to work in restaurants and can remember working with rude customers, so I didn't want to get a crappy reputation at a place I dine at frequently. I'm probably overreacting, right?

You could be so I'd give him another chance but be on the lookout for things like that. The comment that they're known for bad service doesn't seem rude to me. He could just be worried that you'll think bad of him taking you to that place if you notice bad service.

Did you give him a second shot? How'd it go?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 12:39 pm 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7739
Location: Portland, OR
ndpittman wrote:
Mars, are you trying to say I should be on grindr instead? ;)

Well I was talking about OKC, on grindr it's pretty varied really. I think because people can only pick one on there they tend to be more discerning.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:59 pm 
Offline
TOTALLY CRADICAL
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 4370
Location: Smugville, CA
Arisaig wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
Joyfulgirl: hahahahahahaha!

A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).


Or with guys my age (over 45) it's guy with moteorcycle. I also hate the ones that were obviously taken at a wedding - dude, most people have a phone/camera, get someone to take a shot of you in your real clothes.


In the Bay Area, I think it's like some unwritten law that every dude's OKC pics have to be either him on his bike or him at Burning Man. Usually both.

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:04 pm 
Online
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 8019
Location: Seattle
Here we get lots of guys on boats. Biker boy's were mostly vacation shots if I recall.

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:10 pm 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 965
Location: Albany, NY
I'm a freelance writer, and occasionally find myself scoping out job boards if my work load is light. I've been doing that today and have been ASTOUNDED at the amount of job postings I have been seeing for "online dating assistants". Basically, dudes looking to hire someone who will pretend to be them and communicate with women on dating sites, and set up dates for them. The ads make it clear that these women should never know that they aren't communicating with the actual person who will be going on a date with them.

This stuff happens. Like, a LOT. Whaaaaaaaaaat.

_________________
Departure & Arrival: Photoblog
Navigator, Equator: Personal blog
My freelance writing website
Dear Nora: My cat's advice column (really)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:16 pm 
Offline
Baking In The Flavor
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:16 pm
Posts: 170
Location: UK
takecare wrote:
I'm a freelance writer, and occasionally find myself scoping out job boards if my work load is light. I've been doing that today and have been ASTOUNDED at the amount of job postings I have been seeing for "online dating assistants". Basically, dudes looking to hire someone who will pretend to be them and communicate with women on dating sites, and set up dates for them. The ads make it clear that these women should never know that they aren't communicating with the actual person who will be going on a date with them.

This stuff happens. Like, a LOT. Whaaaaaaaaaat.


I've seen those too in my work searches! They're super creepy, and sadly they now make me question every profile that uses correct grammar and/or seems interesting.

The job posters also usually say how fit and attractive they are, so they want all the 'unattractive people' weeded out by their assistant. Gross.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 4:23 pm 
Offline
Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:34 am
Posts: 2446
I'm glad that it seems to be ok to not respond to some one who sends you a polite message on OKC.

I got one last week from a woman who thinks I'm good looking, but she mentions in her profile that she's not happy in her marriage and is looking for affection, TLC and a long term relationship.... and I think that's not the right starting point for a relationship for me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:51 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6517
Location: Boston, MA
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Arisaig wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
Joyfulgirl: hahahahahahaha!

A friend I were talking about this today; I need to remember to send her this image. We were more discussing how all guys have the same like 5 pictures. Guy and dog, guy and kid (it's my niece!!!), and outdoor activities (usually skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing).


Or with guys my age (over 45) it's guy with moteorcycle. I also hate the ones that were obviously taken at a wedding - dude, most people have a phone/camera, get someone to take a shot of you in your real clothes.


In the Bay Area, I think it's like some unwritten law that every dude's OKC pics have to be either him on his bike or him at Burning Man. Usually both.


I've definitely been seeing wedding, boat, and motorcycle pics. No Burning Man though, so that's disappointing.

Yesterday, I shiitake you not, I saw someone in black face. I think he was supposed to be dressed up like Lil Wayne. What the actual fork is that about?

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:59 pm 
Offline
Saggy Butt
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:32 pm
Posts: 293
Location: NY
Yes, the niece pictures! One guy with a niece picture was practically ready to marry me after one date, another one (that I didn't go out with, thankfully) turned out to be a huge douchebag. It's like they're saying, "Hey look at me, I am gentle with babies and am therefore an awesome human being."

_________________
When people ask about my plans for after graduation: "PhD in knitting blanket forts, bisque!" -Mars


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:58 pm 
Offline
Lactose Intolerant...Literally
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:39 am
Posts: 670
Location: Sweden
Oh my, VegEric!

_________________
I tend to hook up with people who give me chocolate, but I fail to see how this is a bad thing./tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:11 am 
Offline
Has Isa on speed dial

Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:27 pm
Posts: 80
Location: edmonton
I used to have a lot of fun online dating, including once finding a serious relationship, but mostly lots of interesting conversations, casual dating sometimes hookups, the full spectrum. Not sure what happened, but I'm apparently awful at it now. This time around I've had a lot of seemingly fun first dates after which there is zero correspondence. A suspiciously high number of no replies to decent, interesting messages. Just really a general disinterest, it's kind of getting me down and my experiences out in the real world are either mirroring it or my confidence is being affected by it. Perhaps I should give it a rest for a while, or just continue to detail my failings on here as a way to vent, that's probably more entertaining.

One thing that some of you can take from my experience, is that as the number of thoughtful messages I concoct and get no reply to grows, the more it seems like I might as well sink to sending out the "Hey." messages so vilified on okc.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6105 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210 ... 245  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer