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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:52 pm 
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Vomit!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:22 pm 
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takecare wrote:
Message I just received:

"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."


"Do you have a mint? Because I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:19 pm 
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where's the line between cute and repulsive these days? because that seems cute to me

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:28 pm 
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Semen Strong
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It might be cute if the person wasn't cut and pasting it into 150 responses to pictures, without reading the profiles at all....

Cute is reading the profile, responding to something you see in the profile that resonates with you and coming across as a sane, normal and even slightly funny person.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 7:14 pm 
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Chip Strong
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There is a (very very slight) chance that I might think it was cute if it hadn't come from a dude a decade younger than me with a 6% match.

But yea, I will never respond to a message that makes no reference AT ALL to anything in my profile. I made that thing for a reason.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:56 am 
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joshua wrote:
where's the line between cute and repulsive these days? because that seems cute to me

The line between cute and repulsive can sometimes just be the source. If that was the start of a message that was followed up with an indication that they'd read my profile, it could very well be cute. Especially if their profile was a good match or attractive in some way. All by itself? Yucky.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:24 am 
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worldrunner79, one thing that to me is rather visible in your profile and to me is off-putting, is the number of times you put yourself down.
You removed the bullying comment, good, but the second sentence you say is "If you are still interested here are some random facts about me:" as if the first line would be enough to make someone not interested? And you close the "I'm really good at" with a line about your CV putting people to sleep.
I know that self-deprecation is sometimes funny, but to me the three (now two) things together make me think "Even he doesn't find himself interesting, why should I?"

One thing that I would mention if I were you was something about what you are passionate about.
You might be really good at many things, but that doesn't mean you are passionate about it. I assume from your username and bits in your profile that you love running, so why not mention it somewhere, in so many words? I find that using the word "love" about something you do adds a bit of interest to the topic, and it's a clear arrow pointing to a conversation starter.
I would probably not respond to a profile like yours because while it is overall ok, it doesn't tell me so much about you as a person, what moves you and makes you get up in the morning and makes you really happy.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:22 pm 
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Chip Strong
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I just had a three hour okc IM chat with dreamy local vegan boy! I'm totally swooning now.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:20 am 
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Thanks Anek :)

I changed the: "If you are still interested here are some random facts about me:" to "To start here are some random facts about me:"

and at the end of that section I also added:
"-For this tiny little fraction of time, I've been given the most amazing gift ever: the opportunity of being aware, interact and connect with my surroundings. I understand that my vessel is far from being perfect, nevertheless with great passion, day by day I do my best to make a better version out of it. "

Anyway I won't be using my profile for some time since all my "neighbours" already got a nice, cute, personalised message from me :-P.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 10:55 am 
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worldrunner79 wrote:
Thanks Anek :)

and at the end of that section I also added:
"-For this tiny little fraction of time, I've been given the most amazing gift ever: the opportunity of being aware, interact and connect with my surroundings. I understand that my vessel is far from being perfect, nevertheless with great passion, day by day I do my best to make a better version out of it. "


I like that, w.r. You are sounding better and better by the minute :-)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:36 pm 
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Arisaig wrote:

I like that, w.r. You are sounding better and better by the minute :-)


what can I say? I've amazing teachers :)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:34 pm 
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Chip Strong
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takecare wrote:
I just had a three hour okc IM chat with dreamy local vegan boy! I'm totally swooning now.

Aaaaand another hour and a half tonight!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 9:41 pm 
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I met someone from okc today and she was just so comically awful I can't really believe it.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 10:08 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
I met someone from okc today and she was just so comically awful I can't really believe it.

details!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 1:44 am 
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WELL.

We had been texting for a bit, and I always think that's a bad idea before meeting someone, but I also didn't care because I didn't really think we had a ton in common but I thought maybe she would be fun to hang out with for a bit anyway.

She was wearing a shirt that said I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS with a picture of a stripper, so that's a good start.

We were meeting in the afternoon for a drink and she was clearly already pretty drunk.

She didn't really want to have any sort of conversation with me and just kept on begging me to make out with her.

At one point she told me she was AFRAID OF ASIANS.

So, you know, probably not hanging out again.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:03 am 
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I wrote a (not really all that long) message to someone, replying to things in their post. you know, the opposite of "hey bby u haev gr8 tits want my dick???". THE RESPONSE I GOT WAS THIS:

"I don't think I've ever got such a long message on OKC before. And one where I really didn't understand the intention of the writer.... but thanks, I guess?!"

apparently being polite and not mentioning my dick is too subtle. THERE IS NO WINNING ON OKC!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:00 am 
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joshua wrote:
I wrote a (not really all that long) message to someone, replying to things in their post. you know, the opposite of "hey bby u haev gr8 tits want my dick???". THE RESPONSE I GOT WAS THIS:

"I don't think I've ever got such a long message on OKC before. And one where I really didn't understand the intention of the writer.... but thanks, I guess?!"

apparently being polite and not mentioning my dick is too subtle. THERE IS NO WINNING ON OKC!


Based on the messages I've sent that have earned responses, I've found the winning formula to usually equal about 5-6 sentences max. I think a lot of people who get a lot of messages on OKC don't want to read more than that and if you're sending longer messages it comes off as too try-hard.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:36 am 
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Semen Strong
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Well if you send the message maybe we can help you figure out what was unclear. I don't think you should take this as a sign to start messaging people about your dick :) But on the plus side, at least you've screened out someone who isn't very kind.

S.Rock that sounds so odd - why is she afraid of Asians?! Drunken make outs have their place, but probably not instead of conversation on a first date. (OK I want drunken make outs now)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:23 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
S.Rock that sounds so odd - why is she afraid of Asians?! Drunken make outs have their place, but probably not instead of conversation on a first date. (OK I want drunken make outs now)


The thing is, if she had been more subtle about it and hadn't been racist, I probably would have made out with her because why the hell not. But feeling super pressured to within 20 minutes isn't really a turn-on.

And I have no idea why she is afraid of Asians, I just told her I thought that was forked up and chose to get out of there shortly after. It's funny, the last time I was on OkCupid I met 16 different girls and never really had a bad experience. Plenty of people I wasn't that into, but everyone was nice enough and I had a fine time. I guess it was about time for this to happen!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:29 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Well if you send the message maybe we can help you figure out what was unclear. I don't think you should take this as a sign to start messaging people about your dick :) But on the plus side, at least you've screened out someone who isn't very kind.

eh :) I don't need to amend my ways. it's been super successful with some people, and less so with others. and there's a rough correlation between "the people I would really like to get on with" and "the people that respond to my natural communication". like, yes, I could change my style, but then I'd be finding people less into *me* and more into someone constructed.

kapow!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:25 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
S.Rock that sounds so odd - why is she afraid of Asians?! Drunken make outs have their place, but probably not instead of conversation on a first date. (OK I want drunken make outs now)


The thing is, if she had been more subtle about it and hadn't been racist, I probably would have made out with her because why the hell not. But feeling super pressured to within 20 minutes isn't really a turn-on.

And I have no idea why she is afraid of Asians, I just told her I thought that was forked up and chose to get out of there shortly after. It's funny, the last time I was on OkCupid I met 16 different girls and never really had a bad experience. Plenty of people I wasn't that into, but everyone was nice enough and I had a fine time. I guess it was about time for this to happen!


My gf had said on her profile, that even if there wasn't chemistry and a second date, it was at least minimally successful as long as you felt like the world is a better place knowing that person was in it.

She doesn't even qualify for that, I think.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:32 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
S.Rock that sounds so odd - why is she afraid of Asians?! Drunken make outs have their place, but probably not instead of conversation on a first date. (OK I want drunken make outs now)


The thing is, if she had been more subtle about it and hadn't been racist, I probably would have made out with her because why the hell not. But feeling super pressured to within 20 minutes isn't really a turn-on.

And I have no idea why she is afraid of Asians, I just told her I thought that was forked up and chose to get out of there shortly after. It's funny, the last time I was on OkCupid I met 16 different girls and never really had a bad experience. Plenty of people I wasn't that into, but everyone was nice enough and I had a fine time. I guess it was about time for this to happen!


My gf had said on her profile, that even if there wasn't chemistry and a second date, it was at least minimally successful as long as you felt like the world is a better place knowing that person was in it.

She doesn't even qualify for that, I think.


That is generally how I feel! I never stress at all over whether I should meet someone in the first place, I don't care if there's a low match percentage or I don't think their pictures are cute or whatever, I frequently don't bother to read the questions, I just figure I am going to spend an hour or two with someone new have no expectations beyond that and they will probably be a decent enough person so that's fine. But apparently not everyone is a decent enough person!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:14 pm 
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Chip Strong
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I give up.

Every single person I have connected with/fallen for in the past year or more has turned out to be completely emotionally unavailable. I was newly burned today and now I'm feeling incredibly pessimistic, depressed, and like I will just be lonely forever.

Time to get more cats!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:25 pm 
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((((Hugs takecare))))

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Sorry you're feeling down.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:58 am 
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takecare wrote:
I give up.

Every single person I have connected with/fallen for in the past year or more has turned out to be completely emotionally unavailable. I was newly burned today and now I'm feeling incredibly pessimistic, depressed, and like I will just be lonely forever.

Time to get more cats!

I am exactly where you are.

I'm sick of being made to feel so crepe by guys who turn out to be emotionally unavailable or just compulsive lying tossbags! So I also give up.

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