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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 4:18 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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joshua wrote:
Mars wrote:
ashley wrote:
Haven't heard from the guy I went out with on Thursday. That was the second date and I felt like it went well. I guess maybe he didn't agree? Oh well...

Well, has he heard from you?

1000 times this

Yeah-i have a feeling the lunchdate guy (not charmer as i guess I'll temporarily call him) is someone i need to text first. I probably should because he was really sweet and actually more attractive in person. I think we'd be good friends and that is part of this whole adventure.

But anyways, don't feel bad about being the first to initiate post-date contact! Just send a message through some way of communication that you had a really nice time and you'd like to see him again.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:04 pm 
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Heart of Vegan Marshmallow
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Dude texted me like 5 minutes after I posted that. Is he reading this thread?!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:17 pm 
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Ashley-that's exactly what happened to me after i posted worrying over they charmer not texting. Figures, right?!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:06 pm 
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Man, I have mixed feelings about ok right now. I am in a poly relationship, A wanted to meet new people. My preference is for more casual dating now. So since December,I've been tolerating all the typical okc bullshiitake women in particular get, as has been described here.

Anyhow, a couple of weeks ago, I start chatting with/eventually have a fling with an awesome fellow. But it is necessarily brief, because he was in town for work, lives in another country. But the whole experience was perfect, exactly what I want to use okc for - finding an awesome, fun, sexy person, who I have a ton in common with, but would never meet otherwise. So then I'm all "woohoo! The algorithm works!" But since then,it's like okc is exacting some sort of revenge and only shows me people I have nothing in common with.
Don't tease me, okc, I want more Olives-comparable babes!! (or for this guy to be like, oh, hey I have to come back to Denver for... Stuff.)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:10 pm 
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I get super irritated by the dudes who obviously just message ALL the women who are online, regardless of our match rating or whatever. I had a guy message me last week with no info in his profile and a 46% rating. I ignored it. Then he sent me a follow-up today, asking why I didn't reply. I told him it was nothing personal but it appeared we had nothing in common, and he replied "opposites attract!"

Um, yeah.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:39 pm 
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Olives wrote:
(or for this guy to be like, oh, hey I have to come back to Denver for... Stuff.)

Well, like, there's just so much Stuff.. there...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:52 am 
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Mars wrote:
Olives wrote:
(or for this guy to be like, oh, hey I have to come back to Denver for... Stuff.)

Well, like, there's just so much Stuff.. there...


I know, right? Like ultra sexy and funny bike mechanics who are smart and fun to talk to and enjoy smooching, just for an example.

Or I dunno, maybe he accidentally left his hat.

Or maybe OKC could just get its algorithms working in my favor again, and find ME an ultra-sexy, funny lady who is smart and wants to go eat ice cream with me.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 2:02 pm 
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I thought this was brilliant and funny.

Quote:
Amy Webb was having no luck with online dating. The dates she liked didn't write her back, and her own profile attracted crickets (and worse). So, as any fan of data would do: she started making a spreadsheet. Hear the story of how she went on to hack her online dating life — with frustrating, funny and life-changing results.

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i ... ine_dating

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:00 pm 
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That was so much fun to watch!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:34 pm 
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Yeah, that's awesome. If only I had the energy to put that much effort into it!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 8:39 pm 
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Accidentally discovered that the guy I'm dating has disabled his profile. Which makes me nervous because I really want to be cautious and careful because a. I'm not super long out of a relationship and was mostly just messing around and getting used to the idea and challenging myself to meet new people. I don't want to go too fast and screw it all up because my brain can't take it. and b. I was taken completely by surprise by just how much I've enjoyed getting to know this guy and how much chemistry there is. I worry that jumping in too fast will burn me out just as fast.

Also, my head is my own head and has it's own thoughts and his are different and the way we approach dating is different and I don't have to feel obligated to do anything by his actions. (Thanks for letting me type this out and figure it out here!) Still going to take it as evenly/slowly as I can. Still really like him.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:38 am 
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Lillianp, i also think it's important to remember that there are lots of reasons he might have disabled his profile that have NOTHING to do with you.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:02 am 
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Olives wrote:
Lillianp, i also think it's important to remember that there are lots of reasons he might have disabled his profile that have NOTHING to do with you.

I agree. I wouldn't assume it means anything unless you've talked to him about why he did it.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:49 am 
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Yeah, my gf enabled and disabled her site in the time that we were sort of seeing each other but I wasn't ready. Some people just go through phases of not wanting it out there!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:09 pm 
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Oooh, good point! And bonus points for making my brain better about it. I had a lovely date tonight though we were both very tired I think so it was a little less energetic than before. (ie high energy talking/excited to be spending time together) but still lovely.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:20 pm 
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I have disabled my profile for so many reasons. Once I replied to a message, said we should meet up, and disabled my profile before our first date (but gave her my number so she could still reach me). I wouldn't overanalyze.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:13 am 
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lillianp wrote:
Oooh, good point! And bonus points for making my brain better about it. I had a lovely date tonight though we were both very tired I think so it was a little less energetic than before. (ie high energy talking/excited to be spending time together) but still lovely.

Yeah, the awesome date that I referenced above disabled his account after we exchanged really sweet, kind post date messages. At first my someway wacky, insecure brain was like this guy thinks I'm a stalker and is trying to cut off any contact from me ever!!!!! Then my rational brain was like, uh we was an ultra sweet person who has been upfront and kind with me, he gave me his phone number and when we were cuddling & chatting he told me that he pretty much only uses okc for algorithm entertainment and when he's traveling. And I am super cool with that, because I am unlikely to contact this person again.
But the human brain ( especially the fuzzy, smitten, post sexy/smoochy/ cuddly brain) sometimes says some wack shiitake.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:57 pm 
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re-aktivated my okerscupid

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:29 am 
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I've been wanting to reactivate, except I'm traveling all over the west coast right now, with the intention of moving eventually. So I don't exactly have a home city. but it would be kind of lovely to go on a date or two while on my adventures.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:34 am 
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Okay whatever I set my profile to Portland. I have 20 days to fill up and I only know a few portland peeps!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:58 am 
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Okay now let's watch the messages pour in...

Hahaha

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:30 am 
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Last night was date #4 with the vegetarian from OKC and I'm definitely feeling it. We spent like 9 hours together yesterday, about half of which was spent at his house just talking. I think this could really turn into something?!

But we still haven't kissed and that's getting awkward. I think he wants to, but he's shy, but I am too and I've never initiated a first kiss and I'm stupidly nervous about having to do it. He held my hand at the movies the other night, which was nice, but I was shivering because it was sooooo cold in the theater, and he thought I was shaking because I was uncomfortable. I explained, but I think now he's even more hesitant to make a move.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:32 am 
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Ashley, go for it! Or at least make it easy by maybe asking if he wants to kiss or something? Might be awkward at first but makes it really clear what you want which he might be trying to figure out.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:40 am 
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So many people, romantic interests and otherwise, have told me I'm hard to read. Sometimes I forget that. Damn it!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:46 am 
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Joyful, I've heard so many people enjoy or prefer even, meeting up with the just passing through peoples :) good luck!

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