Post Punk Kitchen Forum

this is why people need bells.

I would just say "excuse me, I'm going to pass by you real quick." I'm a woman but I do this at night so I don't startle people.

Everybody else is great but I wanted to add that I think you are so very thoughtful and nice for being considerate of this sort of thing. I've had the shiitake scared out of me and I doubt all of those people had as nice of intentions as you.

I'm also voting for the cough and pass by thing. And if it's safe to get close to the edge and step off the curb for a second, that's even less threatening (but only if you're sure you're not putting yourself in danger of getting mowed down). It's super nice of you to be so worried about this! It is quite unnerving when some guy walks right behind me for blocks at a time at night. I always feel a lot better if they just go ahead and pass by me.

I think it is really nice of you to consider this too.

However, it makes me a bit sad that we live in a world where you are passing the same woman every day (or at least, often enough to think of this) and can't just introduce yourself and say hi or something.

I mean I'm certainly not one to do something like that, I'm a lot more introverted than I'd like to be and can't seem to get out of my shell most times. But it sure would be nice if somehow when passing her, maybe after a time or two, you could say something like 'oh hey we must work in the same building & leave at the same time, just thought I'd introduce myself so you wouldn't get startled by someone following you..."

Sure she won't.

"Hang on, that guy has passed me like 3 times in the past 20 minutes. What the hell...?"

*adds another check mark to his whiteboard*

I am not sure that it was implied that it was the same woman every night. Just whichever woman happened to be there that night.

What everyone else said. I just wanted to chime in and say it's awesome that you'd be aware of how your presence might make someone else feel and want them to feel safe!

Thanks for the advice everybody. I'm officially speeding up and passing women from now on.

You are in Boston... everyone here walks and 8:30pm isn't that late, even in the quiet neighborhoods. I pass people all the time because I'm impatient.

I'm actually in Waltham. The streets, besides Moody, are pretty dead by that time.

Waltham! I spent a lot of time in Waltham! Mostly with women who weren't at all surprised to find me behind them, if you know what I mean and I suspect you'll have to think about it for a minute.

I just... maintain my pace and walk around people who are going slower than me? I really don't think it's my problem if someone gets unnecessarily freaked out because I'm out for a walk at night.

I don't get it. Unless it's sexual innuendo. Then I get it. :)

Oh ok thanks, now that I read it again that makes sense. At least that's a little better.

So in that case I'd say smiling while you pass might help.

Yes, I too vote for go ahead and pass, make some noise if you can so as not to startle. "Excuse me" or "on your right/left" might be nice.
And I would also like to join the anonymous night gardeners' club.

scream.


just scream the entire time you're walking home.


it works for me.

It was. And I also got it, if you know what I mean. (That was also sexual innuendo.)

This is one of my all time favourite things on the internet and I wish every person on earth had to read it.

I think something like "excuse me, just passing on your left" is nice because it gives her some warning and an idea of your intention. I live in a fairly safe area and I was walking home tonight at about 8:30 and was very conscious of the dude keeping pace behind me. Had I heard him speed up I would have been pretty freaked out.

I always appreciate when people don't walk directly behind me at night.

Yeah, even though I still wholeheartedly endorse skipping, I do want to say thanks for being considerate. It would totally freak me out to have a dude just walking behind me at night. If you pass her, then at least she can see you...there may be some trepidation for a few seconds as you approach and are in close proximity, but at least it would pass once you were in front and she could see you.

I've probably just bought into rape culture too much, but as a young woman who has to walk alone at night to a parking garage twice a week, I can honestly say that every dude I see while I'm alone at night scares the carp out of me (it doesn't help that my campus has several reported sexual assaults every semester). I would appreciate you quickly passing me and not touching or brushing against me. And for the love of gawd do not get in the parking garage elevator with me.

Me too.

Ha, probably once a week as I pass someone I say I should get some bells for my shoes. Not much use for the people (probably the majority) who have headphones/earbuds.