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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:31 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I don't think you should say hang out with me or I'll cheat on you.

I think you can leave the potential cheating off the table and just say, you know, I'd love to touch base more often because I miss you. What do you think we could create?

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:38 pm 
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That's very true, tofulish, and a very good point. He's knows my past, but I'd really like to keep that out of our relationship- and have done so happily and easily thus far. It's just getting over this one small hurdle.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:49 pm 
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Why do you cheat then? is it not so much for the intimacy but as some sort of "punishment" for someone not meeting your needs? Because if you cheat when your needs aren't being met, why wouldn't that be a form of polyamory? Albeit a very dishonest variety?

eta- Well, I guess it could also be recognizing your breaking point with someone not meeting your needs, but it would probably be better to stop before that point.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:58 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I can't speak for anyone else, but I cheated because I felt like I needed more attention than I was getting from one person, so having two relationships at the time was one way for me to be constantly busy and not feeling lonely.

But what I wanted was to be in a monogamous relationship, not a polyamorous one, because I definitely didn't want to share my partner with anyone else

It wasn't actually wanting to "punish" anyone.

I personally did a lot of therapy to address why I constantly felt so lonely and abandoned. And then worked on creating a lot of other things in my life to meet some of my other needs. But even so, my husband and I often slide into a universe where its just us and the kiddo and the animals.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:11 pm 
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Tofulish nailed it. It has nothing to do with punishment for me, either, and everything to do with needing to feel loved by someone. I've had a handful of godawful relationships, one after another (partially my own fault, and definitely not an excuse), since I began dating back in HS. In fact, this is my first healthy relationship...ever. I've had to practice speaking up about how I feel because since the beginning, I've had SOs shame my opinions, call me immature, refuse to listen to me, etc. And when no one tells a Fifteen year old girl that's totally forked up, you think it's normal relationship behavior, so you deal with it. I wish someone had told me how screwed up my first two relationships were (painfully, ridiculously, entirely)- the rest would never have happened otherwise.

I'm not condoning what I've done. In fact, I deeply regret not ending relationships prior to cheating. In my last relationship, I was cheated on multiple times and lied to about it. With me, it's always been a catalyst for me to finally end a bad relationship...and I always did end them.
And I am definitely going to say it is not poly behavior, because that comes from a place of love, trust, and respect.
My cheating came from a place of confusion and hurt (against myself).

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:37 pm 
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Really missing my ex today for some reason. I hate that I'm still in love with him. Really sucks being in love with someone who doesn't love you back.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 9:13 pm 
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So there is this guy.... And he's funny and I like hanging out with him and having sexytimes with him but I totally don't want a relationship relationship and I think he does, more than he lets on. One cool thing is that I'm really honest with him about what I want right now, and of course I don't know what the future holds but I don't see it going much further than what it is now.
Historically I've lied either to myself or my partner about feelings and it resulted in a bad ending because we weren't on the same page. So, I don't know what to do. Part of me just wants to take this a day at a time and enjoy the shiitake out of it but the other part of me knows he feels differently and that makes me think I should stop this before anyone gets hurt. Meh.
But for tonight, ENJOYING THE shiitake OUT OF IT.

Hugs, Mars, I totally know that feeling.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:02 pm 
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Ergh, I'm at that point where kind of like Mr Shankly, I sort of lose interest? But not really. I do have to say, though, that this is a weeeird head space to be in and I dislike it! Because I like this guy and I think part of it is this.. weird fear of commitment.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:46 pm 
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Ugh, so I'm suppose to go back to my apartment tomorrow (I decided my mental health was more important than wasting money paying for an apartment I'm not at, so I ended up staying at home for another week), and I'm dreading it so much. I tried to talk to my ex last Sunday just to kind of smooth things out before I came back, and he was a total jerk about it and blew me off. So it'll be the first time since we broke up I've been around him and I don't think I can do it. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm feeling about everything and being in the same apartment as him right now is going to just put me right back were I was two weeks ago. And one of my roommates just texted me to ask if she could borrow a movie I have in my room up there and it reminded me of this summer when my ex and I were having this totally ridiculous conversation about it and now I'm crying because before it had been a really happy memory and now it's just a reminder that he doesn't give a fork anymore.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:17 am 
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gunk, thanks so much for sharing that!

missdelaney, I feel you. I've been in destructive relationships too and it sucks to think that you're supposed to take all that crepe. Remember that you deserve so much better and I'm happy that you've found a good person to be with!

Ouwh, hugs to EVERYONE. Love can be a bisque sometimes.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:09 pm 
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ouch, my heart. I just spent a long time trying to ease out of a relationship so I could be sure my ex was in a stable place and then it all of a sudden blew up due to some outside factors and now I get a lot of 'fork you's and evil looks if we happen to see each other.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:18 pm 
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I'm just trying to figure out why the guy I was seeing for 2 1/2 months basically used me as an experiment. The whole time, since day one, he had been sorta seeing his ex. However, they were having problems so she suggested they "see other people" to take some space. (I guess I was "other people".) He never told me about any of this until the night we broke things off. I don't expect monogamy when dating but I do expect honesty-- weird concept?

I'm happy that it's done because I knew it wasn't working, but it still hurts somehow. Funny how it still hurts.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:37 pm 
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^^ i think you have every right to expect honesty. you were used and that feels pretty crappy.

something similar has happened to me before. thankfully it didn't last very long. now i can look back at it and be thankful it didn't go any farther than it did and, for me at least, it gave me some more clues as to what NOT to look for.

i'm so sorry that happened to you. *hugs*


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:03 pm 
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Mars wrote:
Really missing my ex today for some reason. I hate that I'm still in love with him. Really sucks being in love with someone who doesn't love you back.


I tend to compare relationships to broken bones or deep stab wounds. They heal, you don't think about them much, but they still ache from time to time.

Fetalexplosion 1) it's nice to see you again! 2) it's really good of you to have invested that kind of care. I tend to think it's normal, even healthy, to be reviled by the other person for a time. It could be self defense, it could be to help solidify that the relationship is over (oh noes death!). I dunno - I'm a lawyer, not a psychologist - but it seems common. Presumably, eventually, even if they still resent you later, they'll recognize that you did what you could to minimize the ouch. Even if not, you'll know you did.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:17 pm 
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I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and we live together. We knew each other before we actually started dating and became crazy close friends fighting off our attraction for one another for a few months before we caved in and hooked up. I was single, she was married. She and her ex split over the summer and we started our relationship two weeks later. I was dating someone else at the time who I readily dumped to be with her. She had said she wasn't looking for another long-term relationship and felt she needed to be single after her marriage but she couldn't pass up the opportunity of being my girlfriend.

Now things are different. I love her. She's funny, kind, caring, wise, gentle, and supportive. Yet I can't shake the feeling that she's getting bored with me and I worry more often than I care to admit that she's going to cheat on me. When we were just friends, she told me all the awful things she's done in past relationships, how she's easily bored, has cheated on everyone she's been with, and loves falling in love. I have this feeling of doom, I keep thinking this is all going to fall apart and I'm going to be crushed and lose her. I over-analyze everything. I feel myself closing off and distancing myself, as if trying to protect myself. I know this is incredibly unhealthy and that I am going to destroy this relationship with all these fears but I haven't been able to stop and things only seem to be getting worse. I feel like our communication has gotten worse since we became a couple. I want to be happy, I want this to work, I want to trust her, and I want to be able to talk to her about some of these things but I keep getting in my way.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:27 pm 
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Squeak wrote:
Mars wrote:
Really missing my ex today for some reason. I hate that I'm still in love with him. Really sucks being in love with someone who doesn't love you back.


I tend to compare relationships to broken bones or deep stab wounds. They heal, you don't think about them much, but they still ache from time to time.


That reminds me of this http://www.autostraddle.com/the-best-br ... get-84054/

It is, indeed, the best break-up advice I've ever gotten.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:39 pm 
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strawberryrock, that was just what I needed right now. Thank you for posting it <3


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:09 pm 
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hugs to all <3
I just broke up with my partner because it became clear that they couldn't deal with stress and give energy to being in a relationship at the same time. Mentally, I'm fine with it. I know they weren't right for me and the more I think about it, the more I realize I never even liked them that much. But it was someone to be with. It was my third relationship with someone and the first two barely count because they each lasted just a couple of weeks. there was nothing at all for the past 8 years or so. I'm really missing the companionship. I miss snuggling with someone while watching Firefly. I miss kisses. I miss having someone else in my bed. I miss eating dinner with someone.
But what's killing me most is that I cannot stop checking facebook and tumblr. I keep looking at their posts searching for some indication that they're sad or that they miss me and if anything, their posts seem maybe a little bit happier. They have issues with depression and sadness and usually aren't hesitant about posting gifs/drawings/notes about being depressed before, so I guess I expected to see some more now (I should also mention this was their first relationship) (I should also mention that I know this is a very faulty way of identifying someone's happiness level).
I know it's irrational, but it just feels sucky that I'm thinking about them so much still and they seem totally fine but it was my decision to end it. And I know most of my sad feelings right now come from loneliness and my own insecurities that no one will like me ever again and that was the last time I ever kissed/snuggled/had sex with someone for the next 8 years at least. My brain knows that's wrong, but unfortunately my brain isn't always in charge of my emotions.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:54 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words, chouettes crepes! (<LOVE your name) I'm so sorry that you went through something similar. Personally, I already feel a lot better about everything and it hasn't even been a week so that's a sign it was all for the best. Now I'm just struggling with the whole "to be or not to be friends" issue.

Joyfulgirl, I know exactly what you mean. Even when I know ending it is the right thing, that loss of endorphins from all the together-happy-times really gets me. I'm just lucky the few guys I've been with shun social media because I know I would all up in that if otherwise. I have no stalking self-restraint.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:36 am 
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Today, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Time has gone crazy fast, and it's been a year filled with new things for both of us - while some of it has been hard, we have been pretty good at sticking together and being there for each other. We still disagree on quite a few things - but it feels really awesome to be able to be with him and recognize that he is his very own person and that just because I want something or need something (to call me back immidiately, for him to check in every day when he is touring with his band, that he should be better at showing up on time when in reality we have different concepts of when we agree on a specific time) it doesn't do anything good to try to change him, because change has to come from within and he is allowed to not be exactly like me.

It's been a year of a lot of personal growth for me. I have definitely learned to relax more and not to expect unrealistic things and that what I used to think was "to reasonably expect" was really being controlling and I totally don't want to be that. i have learned that I don't ever want to be in a relationship again where I feel like I can act like a manipulative and controlling bisque just because I feel insecure about my own life. I used my ex a lot as a person I expected to fulfill ALL of my emotional needs and to help me forget all of my insecurities, but what I have learned now is that I need to fulfill my own emotional needs and deal with my insecurities. Because for me, a partner is not someone I can use, he is a person and he gets to decide what he can and cannot give me.

And I love him so much for being such a gentle person and such a wonderful friend and lover. And it feels really good knowing that every day I CHOOSE to be with him, because I don't NEED him. I just really want to spend my time with him and explore life with him.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:15 am 
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That sounds wonderful smoothie! I'm so glad you're in a good place now *hugs*

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:08 pm 
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smoothie wrote:
And I love him so much for being such a gentle person and such a wonderful friend and lover. And it feels really good knowing that every day I CHOOSE to be with him, because I don't NEED him. I just really want to spend my time with him and explore life with him.


smoothie! this makes me so happy to read this whole post. it's such a great feeling to find someone that you can grow with and try out new (and scary!) ways of responding with. do you know what I mean? it's so easy to just keep on having all the same (non-functional) emotional patterns over and over in different relationships. My partner now was the one who (very gently) helped me realize when I was being unhealthy in my habits, and he helped me to have the courage to respond in new ways. I'm so grateful to him for that. We got married this year, after 13 years together, and I think part of why we waited so long was that we both liked the idea that we were just choosing to be together and there was nothing else binding us besides our will and our love. anyway, most of all, I'm super stoked for you!!!! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:30 pm 
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awww, smoothie and ameyfm, I love what you guys wrote. I forget where I heard this said, but I've always used it as a marker for how I think relationships should be: We are whole, complete people while apart, but we are something very special when together.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:08 pm 
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I'm just so frustrated. I've been with my boyfriend for over four years and he is great and we have so much fun. The past couple months I've been really upset because I don't feel like he is very attentive to what Ih ave going on in my life. He is a first year grad student and is stressed out about that, but I am currently job hunting and I feel like he doesn't even remember to ask me about my interviews or anything. Like when I tell him I have an interview he doesn't even ask me where the interview is. Last time I asked him to print my resume out because he was at his office and he just completely forgot, leaving me scrambling the morning of my interview to get a copy of my resume printed out.

I'm just so sick of being his personal cheerleader while he's totally aloof to my stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:12 pm 
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I wish I had some relationship smiles....alas, I guess I need to use this as a venting outlet and actually I am kinda wanting some advice. So, the venting, first: I guess I won't need to worry anymore about what to do on my first Valentine's Day as a single woman in 11 years, because I'll be APPEARING IN COURT! On that mostly bogus charge my estranged husband brought againts me, but that seems to be dragging on through the court system, then to find out that the plea date is set for Feb. 14...UGH!! I guess the only good is that he will have to be in court on that date, too. I call that "good" because I am now frustrated beyond frustrated by how he has acted since he left, and he has made in me an insta-enemy by causing me continual anguish of living in poverty and having to fight for every dime I'll get, putting our child in the middle, etc. I do know his behaiour is fully not within my sphere of influence right now, but damn if I don't have to hear all about it and have my blood pressure shoot through the roof at the thought of his irresponsibleness! I mean, is it normal, when we have only been apart since December 12, and we are still LEGALLY MARRIED and I was recently pregnant, for him to have turned into a completely different person?!? I think I am having somewhat of a hard time seeing that he is indeed totally presenting himself in a whole new fashion, because I guess I was tricked into believeing his crepe for a number of months, maybe even years, before he left. But how could I have been so totally blind? I mean, the fact that he is reverting to frat-boy party ways, after being an alcohol-abstaining father for 10.5 years? I guess some people need to get it out of their system, I get it. But now I have to hear from my daughter how upset she is by his continual neglect of her when she is in his care, in favour of him running out to the store at her bedtime for big chunks of time on many evenings, feeding her crepe which goes against every value we had established as an intactfamily unit, to him putting a link to an online dating site profile for him on the desktop of the shared computer they have and her finding cigarette butts in their nonsmoking apartment when he hasn't owned upi to smoking, but attributes them to a "friend". Messing with me is one thing, but when my daughter is so upset, my already-broken heart just breaks again for her sake.

Indeed, he is meeting new people and waiting until he has the weekend free and my daughter is with me, and then he is inviting them over, whoever they are, feeding them pricey junk food, violating the apartment complexes' rules in his entertaining of them, etc. I know, I am mainly feeling sorry for myself about the pitiful shambles of what was once a "normal" family, but I don't know how to snap put of it. I am seeing a counselor already, but honestly, I think sometimes it is made worse buy her sadly shaking her head and repeating, "boy, he must have really been hatching this plan to spring it on you like that" and other such similar statements. I admit that I was blindsided, ut I don't want to keep hearing about it! I want to not live this way forever, thinking about how I am stuck and have to maintain some semblance of what I was/the family had before to demonstrate a responsible way of looking after my daughter part-time, and soon enough I will have prescription medication for the major depressive episode I am having right now, but it doesn't seem enough. I want the anti-depressants to turn me into that zombie state that so many peeople worry about with mood altering pills, but I welcome it. I don't want to feel like this anymore. And I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, or any of the stress-causers clarifying themselves without a collosol effort on what only seems MY part, and I just don't want to fight like animals with someone I still love and have this stretch out into years of trauma. Sorry, I feel a bit better now that I've released some of that, but I just don't know when or how to expect anything good to ever present itself to me, evr again.

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